@ OP,

I am so shocked at the responses, esp. at the people who are telling you to marry the teenage girl as a second wife. Must a man marry a woman for the simple reason that he's made her pregnant? Marriage is a lifetime's commitment and I don't think any two people should be together because of a pregnancy. I however think you should be responsible enough to take care of your baby; pay child support. That's it! Leave marriages out of it! Rubbish!

As a woman, carrying a man's child WILL NEVER be a reason for me to marry him. I find that reason sooooooooo silly! What is it with pregnancy and single motherhood that you Nigerians fear so much? Am not married yet, but if I got pregnant tomorrow I'll keep my head up, husband or no husband. Nonsense!  

You've messed up big time and I think it's only fair to involve your wife in the decision-making, but please. . . . . . whatever you decide to do, don't marry the teenager.

Iranoladun:


Even though I don't support abortion I believe it is necessary in this case

If the girl refuses abortion I will suggest you seek audience with her parents and lay all your cards on the table i.e. you are married and not willing to take a second wife hoping they will prevail on the girl to terminate the pregnancy.

Why should somebody advise a man to take his girlfriend for an abortion?
Abortion is not necessary. What is the worst that could happen if she delivered the baby? Single motherhood is not a terminal disease! It's not as bad as you Nigerians think! Are you aware of the dangers of abortion? Her life can be cut short if the procedure backfires! Let her raise the baby (of course with financial support from the man). . . . who knows the little angel could turn out to be a source of joy and strength for her. Babies are a blessing. Do not always think of flushing them out for your convenience! Or rather for fear of "what people will say". It's pure rubbish!

Go Good Girl, that was brilliant!! I was reading your comment and nodding away my head, your spot on!!! I am a single parent, not by choice, I was married at the time i had my child. But being a parent is a blast for me.,,single or otherwise. Much better than being a dead parent. My son is the love of my life and i wouldnt change anything. You make the best of it as that young girl should. Children are an amazing gift that not everyone can have and these guys want to flush it!!

I'm really happy for all the advice on here. I take full responsibility for all that happened. I know we both have a choice to terminate the baby. She has expressed her strong views on keeping the preg, but occasionally she has the ups and downs. Few days ago a doctor in Nigeria where she went for a check up asked her how old she was, when she mentioned, he freaked out and started haranguing her, giving her lessons on morality and how dat she is not supposed to keep the baby. Girl got worried, and is just starting to come round again. Initially, I was for terminating the preg, but something keeps ringing in me that I would regret it if I tried to do it. So am really scared doing it. It would be a much more bigger scandal and problem if something happens to her. Personally, I'm not thinking of breaking up my marriage because I love my wife. I've read posters here who think I dont love my wife. The contrary is the case. I love her so much and she knows this. It's just dat sometimes men get very giddy and seedy and cant help it. Religion or no religion, men here know what am talking about. Some of those lecturing me probably have issues like this. I am really not thinking of telling my wife now. I cant handle it and I dont think she can. Its out of the question for me for now. However, just day before yesterday, the visa application the girl and her family made got approved and she has a visa to Gods own country. We started the visa process b4 finding out about the preg, so dont jump to conclusions. She wants to study abroad. Her sistas and bruvas all know me. Her mum knows me too. They've also found out dat am married and has slammed the girl on many occasions but she doesnt wanna let me go. Shes calling their bluff. Her family is affluent and want her to go abroad and would be paying her fees . If they know about the preg. they may withdraw support, but am not worried. We both want her to travel before they get to know. Am grateful for all the support but I would need more advice. I'm scared if she goes abroad things will change. On the other hand, I'm happy that it will get her out of my sphere for some time. What do you all thinkg pls.

@Poster

You're probably more involved with.this girl than you're letting on!
Within 5 months her parents knows you; her brothers and sisters knows you; your younger brother knows her!

I still maintain my previous advise; the earlier you tell your wife the easier the forgiveness since its obvious from your latest post that.you & the girl have.decided to.keep the baby

Take responsibility.

The more the poster says the more he makes me sick!! Low life!!
'Cant help it' The biggest load of bs ive heard!! He knows exactly what he is doing and planned the whole thing. He has his two lives now and seems to be enjoying it. Please come back here and tell us when it all comes crashing down on your head, cant wait!!!

Whilst the relationship lasted did u call us to come and enjoy with u ?

THE DID IS DONE!
Sure it is the worst mistake of ones life to be in such a mess, but,

THIS IS THE TIME GOD HAS BEEN WAITING FOR, WHEN YOU WILL SURRENDER UR SELF TOTALLY TO HIM,
PLS DONT MENTION ABORTION, it is MURDER!

Now, get good men of God Confide in them, pray with them and let them guide you thro the Holy spirit,
I am sure they ll want you to inform your wife and the way to go about it too.
She will still stay with you as u go on this honest path. when she knows u re sincere by telling,

THE EARLIER THE BETTER, DELAY IS DANGEROUS!

This is not the end of you, the devil is a liar cos you still av brighter future ahead of you so smile n move on with GOD.

[b][/b]NOMATTER WHAT, TRAVEL OR NO TRAVEL, TELL YOUR WIFE.

I MAINTAIN THAT DELAY IS DANGEROUS ! ! ! ! ! ! !
PLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What u should do is just to take her as ur second wife.

Na Yoruba Chick?

Bros dat girl loves u .anybody advising u not to marry d girl is wrong. Marry her if she agrees so dat u can have a legitimate child.I hate it when people have children outside marriage.as for Ùr wife let her know d details and pray she is d understanding type after all we have people who marry 3 wives yet heaven don't fall.It may be painful for hÉr to endure but WÍth timÈ ur wife will understand u have no choiÇÉ.Guy take charge.having 2 wives is no sin in african culture.what has happen has happened.just see it as if u are taking another wife and let her see it dat way

You acknowledge the wrong you have committed, but I feel its only to a limited extent..I feel that you manipulated a sexually lustful thought to become an act...you say the young lady knows your family, and has been to your house both under the knowledge you guys were having an affair and knowing she was pregnant. She was someone you were sexually aroused by and you seeked to have her as a conquest.....although she was, old enough to know right from wrong...I think for her it was she really had a liking towards you...I think you may have used this to your advantage and chose to divulge in your sexual lust...you have your life with your wife, kids, home, job, shes young and yet to experience the things you may have, ppl have unprotected sex your no at fault for that, but you are at fault for the repercussions...you should tell your wife like you said when your ready, I'm no saint for I've been in the young woman shoes and these types of situations are always emotional, powerful, lustful,harsh, and alot to deal with...dont make the young lady feel like shit by saying and doing things to coax her into doing what YOU want...you blasted your sperm into her body I mean who hasn't had hot nut inside them, but where things go wrong for some of us is the conflicts it causes due to personal and non personal morals, way of life, commitments, etc..I'm still going through my battle and so will you just believe in time things will be fine and work out how they may.

@Op you dont need an advice, you need to be castrated...

REALITY101: Shame on you dude

Yeah, @op I feel no pity for you. You made one dumb choice after the other. How old are you btw, because the whole situation makes you sound very immature.

Lol...op didn't come back to say what happened eventually n its almost 2years now..guess d gurl eventually had d baby

Leave him alone..

Let he/she that is without sin cast the first stone..

...EVERY BODY IS DOING IT!

op yi go gan o.. U knew d girl haz a bf but u didnt care and u dated her 4 5months and u were even married. How wuld u feel if ur wife is fucking anoda dude .. I hate judgein bt "ori e ti daru" she belle now u cum remba say u get wife nd pikin. Mumu