Hi guys,
This is a follow up to my initial thread where my girlfriend.. Now ex... Asked for a one week space.

https://www.nairaland.com/5164412/she-said-she-wants-space

So a lot happened after the one week space. Honestly, my anxiety got the whole of me, cos she really drenched me emotionally. I found myself becoming a joke of my former self. From the man who will be in control, to the guy chasing for her time. She basically put me on a chasing wheel.

After the space,  I mentioned we were "working" through things for about a week, until when she did the worst. Basically arguing against me in a confrontation with her 'toaster', taking his side and calling me a liar and driving home with him. I did break up on the spot, but she still came back like she didn't realise what she did was the height. I still thought "well, maybe she didn't understand", so at the expense of my self-respect, I took her back but promised myself that when things cooled down, I will give her an ultimatum to cut off with that guy.

Few days after, I saw she was daily calling nd texting the guy. I gave her an ultimatum, which she agreed to. However, the next day, she wasn't picking my calls in the evening. I drove to her place and waited and saw she came back late at night with the guy, but then she went out with her big aunt. I tried to confront her, her aunt got involved, but she spinned it all, where I felt like the wrong and went home.
.
On getting home, she broke up again. This time badly.
She didn't return calls, blocked me everywhere... Etc. Well, I ve given a whole lot for this girl, starting from the beginning. We ve had many situations she has (almost) cheated, but instead of breaking up, I assumed she needed me to explain to her why avoiding such situation was a better idea. I literally spend hours on multiple calls explaining to this girl, so it doesn't look like I am dictating, instead I am guiding.

Every major fight ended up with me explaining till she even started saying.. "You are talking too much. I ve heard." Yet she will go back to something funny again.

After this last breakup, I felt like a disaster, and literally begged her. Although, I would beg for like a day, then back off like 4days.. When she sees I ve stopped begging, she comes back.
All these made me totally emotionally unstable. I struggled hard at work, wouldn't eat. Yet she kept taking me for a fool. Affection was literarily non-existent, calls and communication became short and dead.

Another breakup followed suit. In fact, I did this one myself cos I wanted to test her commitment, but we mutually came back again after it.

At that point, I was mentally a wreck! I don't advise any guy to go through this crazy route.

Well, I thought I was dealing with a normal headed girl, so called  her one day and told her that I wanted to let go of the past and if she feels all these games will still not stop, let me know and I will move on. Basically I don't want to keep talking or dragging things. She said yes.. But you know.. As usual.. Too many lies continued, doing stuff in my back. At this point she will literally ignore my calls for a full day and come back in the evening with a silly escuse we both know was a lie.

I sucked up all this in. Used up all my mental strength not to react. At some point, I had to tell myself the truth,... This will never work out. But for me to leave, I won't want the story to be-the crazy guy who was insecure, emotional and controlling.

I literally wanted closure, but she won't give. Basically she will push me to the wall to react, but will not break up, so if I do, it became my fault.

I gave myself a day to end all of this, cos my life was taking a sht.. Wasn't eating or doing anything well. She basically was manipulative as she will not want me talking to other girls, but will be so secretive with her phone. I knew I needed to find the truth, but she will never tell me, so I made a plan.

Was to move to a very high-end brand new apartment, she has seen the pictures but never been there. She followed me there first time, but before we entered the building, I pretended I really needed her phone for an emergency. She was obviously on my back while using it till I went snooping. It basically got dramatic, neighbours got involved. In my mind, I was happy I d confirmed my suspicion. Gave her her phone back with no reaction whatsoever. She got so dramatic on something totally irrelevant with the neighbours and smashed her phone on the wall. We both drove off from there without saying anything. I then blocked her on all mediums. Few hours later, she came to my house, asking me to open to talk which I refused. Left hundreds of calls, I told her to talk from outside. She waited for hours till past midnight and came back the next day. I still won't show any reaction. I only told her from the balcony to kindly go home as I ve decided I won't let her get too familiar again. She would then go and come back to damage something in a bid to get me to react which I didn't. I then dropped off her stuff with a friend so I don't get to interact with her. Now it's literally happening every day.

Some part of me almost felt bad, but another part of me is very happy leaving her to sulk up the guilt. She was a nightmare.


I believe many guys here can learn from my experience. When she shows signs of dishonesty. Cut it off and move one. Unless you want her to manipulate you into the untrusting insecure controlling freak. Nothing good will ever come out of it.

Maybe she still loves you that's why she keeps disturbing or the guy hurt her feelings

Thank God for your life bro.

Oh lawd not again,when would this dude's ever learn...

Been there , done that. I know how it feels. Bro, being in a relationship with "Manipulative Persons" is a recipe for disaster. They PIN everything on you and try to make you feel like the GUILTY PERSON. Even when confronted, they still apply every tactics and deceitful acts to look innocent. Cutting her loose was the best decision you ever took. Women are many, wives are few, While HOES are on the LOOSE, ready to LOOT.

Headlesschicken:
Oh lawd not again,when would this dude's ever learn...

I you ask me, na who i go ask.

From the long epistle, all I could glean are these three words from you " insecure, emotional and controlling". That is what you are and you know it.

You are nothing but a weak pussy who wants to control the poor girl's life with your incessant calls and daily monitoring spirit and then try to make her feel or see what she'd be missing by losing you probably based on your earning power. That's some cheap emotional blackmail that won't ever earn you any genuine love.

I know you are enjoying seeing her beg you and wail as a control freak if she was my sister I would have advised her to ignore you and we both know how much of a wreck you'd become thereafter.

I have nothing to learn from your story at all. This is some kindergarten games we played over two decades ago.

Why una dey wan kill unaselves over babes I no understand. If you trust yourself very well and notice your babe trying to get one over you by cheating, how about you allow her do her thing while you do yours and wait patiently for her to come raise a hell when you have all the evidences instead of bitching about, smelling her ass and snooping on her like a whimp.

This is how guys who are awoke and secured roll.

If woman no marry two husband, e no go know which one bam pass.

Allow her in her self-destruct, don't beg or make a monkey of yourself, na she go get sense by force.

Rubbish

How old are you by the way? Very childish and immature disposition.

you are still a boy or the girl has locked you inside bottle.

why are you behaving like a child, the thing about women is, if this one doesn't agree the next will agree.

you didn't want to leave the relationship as an insecure and control freak? lmao, why do you care about these useless nonexistent words? learn to take strong decisions and stand by it.

nzeobi:
you are still a boy or the girl has locked you inside bottle.

why are you behaving like a child, the thing about women is, if this one doesn't agree the next will agree.

Bros. I tire. This na village people things. Dem bin tie am down b4. Maybe im mama head don come untie d knot....Bros. no time for nonsense. @ 1st sign or suspicion of drama, na delete str8 no matter d commitment

BrownCarton:
Was to move to a very high-end brand new apartment, she has seen the pictures but never been there. She followed me there first time, but before we entered the building, I pretended I really needed her phone for an emergency. She was obviously on my back while using it till I went snooping. It basically got dramatic, neighbours got involved. In my mind, I was happy I d confirmed my suspicion. Gave her her phone back with no reaction whatsoever. She got so dramatic on something totally irrelevant with the neighbours and smashed her phone on the wall. We both drove off from there without saying anything. I then blocked her on all mediums. Few hours later, she came to my house, asking me to open to talk which I refused. Left hundreds of calls, I told her to talk from outside. She waited for hours till past midnight and came back the next day. I still won't show any reaction. I only told her from the balcony to kindly go home as I ve decided I won't let her get too familiar again. She would then go and come back to damage something in a bid to get me to react which I didn't. I then dropped off her stuff with a friend so I don't get to interact with her. Now it's literally happening every day.

Some part of me almost felt bad, but another part of me is very happy leaving her to sulk up the guilt. She was a nightmare.


I believe many guys here can learn from my experience. When she shows signs of dishonesty. Cut it off and move one. Unless you want to be the untrusting insecure controlling freak. Nothing good will ever come out of it.

Ah hahaha I just laughed at your last statement bro. There is nothing to learn from you sir. Someone you should have ditch all this while but couldnt because of your lazy emotions. Yet you are now advising who? I can only believe you are probably 25 and below because I will be disappointed if you are older than this. Don't even know how to advise you. After every threads on naira land about all these stuffs yet you still got involved in this pitiable abysmal.

daddytime:
From the long epistle, all I could glean are these three words from you " insecure, emotional and controlling". That is what you are and you know it.

You are nothing but a weak pussy who wants to control the poor girl's life with your incessant calls and daily monitoring spirit and then try to make her feel or see what she'd be missing by losing you probably based on your earning power. That's some cheap emotional blackmail that won't ever earn you any genuine love.

I know you are enjoying seeing her beg you and wail as a control freak if she was my sister I would have advised her to ignore you and we both know how much of a wreck you'd become thereafter.

I have nothing to learn from your story at all. This is some kindergarten games we played over two decades ago.

Why una dey wan kill unaselves over babes I no understand. If you trust yourself very well and notice your babe trying to get one over you by cheating, how about you allow her do her thing while you do yours and wait patiently for her to come raise a hell when you have all the evidences instead of bitching about, smelling her ass and snooping on her like a whimp.

This is how guys who are awoke and secured roll.

If woman no marry two husband, e no go know which one bam pass.

Allow her in her self-destruct, don't beg or make a monkey of yourself, na she go get sense by force.

Rubbish

Seen.

bdchange:

Ah hahaha I just laughed at your last statement bro. There is nothing to learn from you sir. Someone you should have ditch all this while but couldnt because of your lazy emotions. Yet you are now advising who? I can only believe you are probably 25 and below because I will be disappointed if you are older than this. Don't even know how to advise you. After every threads on naira land about all these stuffs yet you still got involved in this pitiable abysmal.

Mr old and wise.. Man of all wisdom. I hail

daddytime:
From the long epistle, all I could glean are these three words f
How old are you by the way? Very childish and immature disposition.

Come down from your high horse Mr. What about when she is so careful in gaslighting you and hiding "evidence". Besides, I was trying to build a honest relationship, so was always forgiving, rather than playing the same games

mezarddinny:
you didn't want to leave the relationship as an insecure and control freak? lmao, why do you care about these useless nonexistent words? learn to take strong decisions and stand by it.

True.. But when she has created false negative claims about me to family and friends. It hurts man

BrownCarton:

Come down from your high horse Mr. What about when she is so careful in gaslighting you and hiding "evidence". Besides, I was trying to build a honest relationship, so was always forgiving, rather than playing the same games

You need some growing up to do, like seriously.

If that young girl should get smart now by wiping her eyes, and telling you to go eff yourself, I know you'd snipe yourself before morning.

You know you love her more than she does you but all you think you have over her is to emotionally blackmail and torture her to submission.

Fake love boy...fake love

It wouldn't be a crime if you wrote everything in one space, precisely I didn't read pass 10 lines.


My advice is sell the car else police will trace it to you, as for your neighbor: confront him and let him know you wouldn't take such next time.
And as for your fiancee, shift the wedding to December till you're sure you're emotionally OK.

Thanks

I have someone way hotter than her which we re starting to start off.
I believe a woman has to respect you more than she loves you, otherwise, it will all crash.

Oyinlicious:
Maybe she still loves you that's why she keeps disturbing or the guy hurt her feelings

Haba aunty,how can you say this??

That girl is a wreck that will destroy everything in her path. I'm sure she's also having troubles with the other guy cause of the OP too. She just wants the best of both worlds which is impossible.

OP did the right thing though. Life is too short to be lived at the mercy of someone else.

This story just made me weak. All these guys sef ehn... disgrace!
We really need Thanos in this country

BrownCarton:
I have someone way hotter than her which we re starting to start off.
I believe a woman has to respect you more than she loves you, otherwise, it will all crash.

Oga lockup! You're a natural maga.

catwalq:


Haba aunty,how can you say this??

That girl is a wreck that will destroy everything in her path. I'm sure she's also having troubles with the other guy cause of the OP too. She just wants the best of both worlds which is impossible.

OP did the right thing though. Life is too short to be lived at the mercy of someone else.

you're a very wise lady. Respect... One thing with me, I don't allow ladies do me anyhow. Not like na only this girl dey na.. The girl go use the op shine eventually when they marry.

.

You are good, can you help me, I am learning to be a script writer too. IamPlato can you rate this guy ?

When babies fall in love...

This man or boy is such a sissy, how could you stoop so low to let a bitch manipulate you for so long,
She saw your weakness and she used it against you for long,
There are many pretty bitches out there , get yourself another one, she doesn't deserve you,