SyNnadi:

Is that your next plan?

lol. you can check my moniker am neither a new member nor know these people. like you said the sister administered the injection. with the way this is going. cant they harm this child reason am well.

ednut1:
lol. you can check my moniker am neither a new member nor know these people. like you said the sister administered the injection. with the way this is going. cant they harm this child reason am well.

If I talk my own now, oga OP will say I am from the husband's family.

Make dem kuku find lawyer and stop disturbing us on NL. We have BBnaija and other important gossips to worry about.

Op i hope you see this, go to twitter and tag segalink, amadichima , and others if you can.. Nairalanders can't help you.

Cantonese:


Well I do not know the history of your marriage with your husband. I do not know how you both started and if there was consent by his family. The story is not clear enough. You were not aware that your husband was getting buried. And yet again the child was taken away for the burial and it sounded like you were aware of that.

Whatever it is I think our society should begin to grow beyond this issue of the properties and benefits of a deceased person. Those who suffer the consequences are they wives and children of the deceased. The greedy and lazy family members grab what they get to take care of their own wives and children.

There are things that you can do.
1. Get the police into it. If the policemen seem to play games, get the higher police authorities

2. Get a lawyer involved

3. There are women civil society organisations that handle such matters. For most of them it is free.

With these not a penny goes to the greedy pigs and even if the grabbed anything forcefully they are made to return them.

The in-laws didn't inform her n her family that a date has been fixed for his burial. She got to know from their landlady in Lagos who called to give her condolence greeting to her and thereby told her that her sister in law called and is requesting access into their apartment to pack their belongings. That if d wife has anything valuable in the apartment that she should come and get them before on the 12th which is d burial....... That was how she n her family learnt that a date was fixed for his burial

deltateam:


People keep mentioning police as if you don't know that police are looking for the highest bidder.

Human rights lawyers are better here.

Let her go to DSS headquarters.

Knowseek:
Op i hope you see this, go to twitter and tag segalink, amadichima , and others if you can.. Nairalanders can't help you.

Follow her handle @vera_ogbebor

alphaNomega:


If I talk my own now, oga OP will say I am from the husband's family.

Make dem kuku find lawyer and stop disturbing us on NL. We have BBnaija and other important gossips to worry about.

naso o

harm which child?.....are you okay??/...

2mch:

They will die in prison

ornicus:


African traditions my arse. Most respected African traditions treat women as chattel. HardCore Yoruba tradition, the deceased brothers share the deceased property right down to the wife. Hardcore Igbo tradition you shave the head of the widow and make her drink the water used to wash the corpse.

In matters of money, people's true colours show. I have also seen deaths of Co workers where the extended family took over the whole show and made it all about money.

You think all families are lovey dovey with their sons wives?

Not true about Yoruba tradition. The woman has a choice and once there is a child involved you can’t take over any property. The only time you take over your late brothers child is if the mother requests it or she’s also not alive. All children are entitled to their father’s property whether male or female. I have never heard where the woman is forced to marry one of the brothers. Yoruba culture is not that forceful.

2mch:

Not true about Yoruba tradition. The woman has a choice and once there is a child involved you can’t take over any property. The only time you take over your late brothers child is if the mother requests it or she’s also not alive. All children are entitled to their father’s property whether male or female. I have never heard where the woman is forced to marry one of the brothers. Yoruba culture is not that forceful.

Go and read awolowo's memoirs. His dad was rich, died when he was ten, the brothers took over everything. One wanted to inherit his mum. That is the hard-core tradition

alphaNomega:


Yes, African traditions especially the ones in Nigeria are patriarchal even our traditional weddings are in the real sense "buying of wife" no matter how we try to whitewash the thing, it stinks to heavens.

In the traditional scene, the wife and her family are related to the background in almost every issue which is why many families till date are more elated at the birth of a male child than a female one.

I know there is more to this Vera's story but my contribution to it with the story so far is that the husband's family should not take the child away from the mother. If they want to take the child, they should take the mum, she is their daughter now! Their son "bought" her.

Shut up please. You are talking nonsense.

ornicus:


Go and read awolowo's memoirs. His dad was rich, died when he was ten, the brothers took over everything. One wanted to inherit his mum. That is the hard-core tradition

It’s not. They are just opportunists. Did she marry any of them? She probably had no will to resist their theft of the property. They ordinarily can’t take anything once a child is involved. Which is why they wanted to force her to marry them so that they can be in charge of the property and it doesn’t leave the family. If she refuses, then nothing they can do. But they obviously got spiteful and stole the property. This bad behavior depends on the family you marry into. It’s not tradition. A woman becomes a part of the family when she marries. It’s so bad that even her family are considered family and almost a taboo for other members of the family to marry from her family.

2mch:

Shut up please. You are talking nonsense.

Related relegated

My mistake. I've corrected it now

[quote author=seborrhic post=80378599]
Extremely and clearly one sided,but the most shocking thing is that 90% of posters here have already concluded and calling the husband's family all sorts of names.
The truth about this case and all her wild allegations can only be known if she can provide further details,such as:
-She claimed knowing her husband's death only during the burial,several weeks after his death.
For a wife that was not in coma in hospital,you didn't hear from your husband and u didn't bother finding out why he hasn't called to find out how u are doing?She also didn't tell her own relations to tell them she hasn't heard from him?
It's either she is outrightly lying here or her own family members were also aware of d husband's death and both sides agreed to keep the news away from her for her own health concerns,not a unilateral decision taken by d husband's family.
-She also claimed d husband's death was caused by an overdose of a pain killing injection they were both to be given.Is she now saying after the husband was given,she wasn't given same injection?I find it hard to believe that bcoz d husband was still alive then and there is no way she would have known d dosage was too much to decline receiving same.
I believe that she brought up this overdose theory because both of them were given same injection and in order to forcefully rope in the man's sister as d killer,she is using overdose,otherwise she would have simply said d sister killed d brother with a lethal drug.
-She is also claiming she wants the custody of her child,all good and well,without providing reason the family gave for taking the child,asides her own wild theory of they feeling he used her as next of kin.
Even if the speculation is true,it says a lot that a husband would use a then barely year old child as next of kin,not the wife and mother of the child.
What I see here is appeal to emotions that the social media can weep up for people like this to get the child.But I can bet anything her tale of events used in weeping up these distressed and deprived mother sentiments,are not all what they seem.
I hope for her sake this matter doesn't end in court and both sides can come to a mutual understanding and agreement because if it does,the lawyers on the husband's family side will reap her to pieces and put her in more emotional turmoil,if she still comes up with this kind of story.People with far more believable stories have found it distressing facing an opposing child custody lawyer,talkless of one with question marks everywhere.[/quote
1. She wasn't informed of her husband's death when it happened. Her parents could not tell her either bcs of the condition of her health . it was hidden from her... She keeps asking of him from the elder sister inlaw day by day. Her answer to the wife has always been "he is fyn , I just left d hospital now, he is responding to treatment" each time she request to at least hear his voice, excuses where given to her. She was been made to understand that he's responding to treatment... She came to know from the Lagos landlady who called to give her condolence greeting by saying "sorry for your loss" ur sister in law called to inform me for this sad news and has also requested to gain access to ur apartment to pack your belongings. If you have anything valuable come and get it because she said they will come for it after his burial ....... Another thing: this was how she and her family got to know a date has been fixed for the burial..
They were not carried along with anything even when the in-laws went to sapele to pack the husband's belongings n also went to his office to get support from them, the wife n family was not carried along.

2. Because of her multiple fractures, d wife was taken inside the house with a stretcher while d husband who had just a thigh fracture was sorted outside .... Then the younger sister came n was saying she delayed because they never wanted to sell d injection to her because she was without a doctor's prescription and was made to writ an undertaking. She came straight inside with syringe to give d wife but the traditional bone healer said he does not work with that , that was how she went outside to give the brother...(they were both not in the same room: one was inside d other outside) The next thing that was heard is shouts everywhere before he was quickly rushed to a hospital where it was,ascertained that he died out of that injection....

3. The in-laws believed they were the only one that lost him thereby saying the baby is now their property...... I wish they can come out straight to let everyone know y dey are holding on to the baby it would be nice. Up till now nothing only for them to start telling people after the first post on the issue here on nairaland

I know you may see my comment very different but if you can answer some questions therein and accept what might be your faults it is better.

First, this your story (plus that your husband's story) is a one-side of a coin, we need to hear the other party so that we will not be bias and become sinful on a matter that has little concern to us. Yes, little concern. It remains just incredible that your in-laws are treating you like that but until we hear from their sides.

Madam, can you shed light on this your statement: "[b]They demanded all sort of things and called me all sorts of names . went as far as tarnishing my image n levying all sort of false allegation on me." [/b]What are those things they demanded? What names did they call you? What false allegation did they 'levy' against you? In short, what did they call your offence?

We are all human beings, kindly be truthful and tell us frankly what you think you do to deserve this treatment. Besides, how were you sure the sister that administered the injection killed him?

Lastly, I believe if you are married legally, may be in traditional way, religious way or court marriage, this matter can be settled. This is the reason why we always preach against marriage out of wedlock. I wish you best.

But instead of coming to Nairaland or Twitter, why can't you go to court?

PrinceGallant:
I know you may see my comment very different but if you can answer some questions therein and accept what might be your faults it is better.

First, this your story (plus that your husband's story) is a one-side of a coin, we need to hear the other party so that we will not be bias and become sinful on a matter that has little concern to us. Yes, little concern. It remains just incredible that your in-laws are treating you like that but until we hear from their sides.

Madam, can you shed light on this your statement: "[b]They demanded all sort of things and called me all sorts of names . went as far as tarnishing my image n levying all sort of false allegation on me." [/b]What are those things they demanded? What names did they call you? What false allegation did they 'levy' against you? In short, what did they call your offence?

We are all human beings, kindly be truthful and tell us frankly what you think you do to deserve this treatment. Besides, how were you sure the sister that administered the injection killed him?

Lastly, I believe if you are married legally, may be in traditional way, religious way or court marriage, this matter can be settled. This is the reason why we always preach against marriage out of wedlock. I wish you best.

But instead of coming to Nairaland or Twitter, why can't you go to court?

Actually we don't need any story. Every decent human being that has heard this tale knows there's 1 basic thing that needs to be done.

The kidnappers should return the 2 year old child to the mother. If she goes to court or not. Society will continue to condemn all representatives of this kind of attrocity such as yourself

You all should return that child asap to the rightful guardian

seanwilliam:
I cant help but to cry, feel enraged. before judging, how did u relate with ur husband's family when he was alive? friendly or enemity? what is the tradition like? because im sure every member of his family can not be thinking in same direction

Same thing that is baffling everyone that knows them. This is d same wife they were proud of and all of a,sudden its the opposite in a twinkle of an eye.

Dose it mean they never liked her all along and were just pretending to love her?

Hmmm.Learnt something today.I noticed most people are trying to disassociate themselves from This practice. what other barbaric culture are your people still practicing and what are the youth doing about it.

nkemdi89:

Let her go to DSS headquarters.

You get contact? Otherwise you can direct her to presidency.

alphaNomega:






Nigga, that union would be less than 2 years old!!! Who in his right senses thinks of a will that early? I can bet none of you shouting "will" here even have one. If you do, I bet it was not in your first 4 years of marriage! Don't be silly.

Do you have a will?!

The man's family are going about this the wrong way! They should not have neglected the mother! Most African traditions (if not all) usually take a new bride as a "sister" in the man's family not someone to be ostracized when the going gets tough.

Also, why is nobody talking about Vera's family?! Could it be that her family members also neglected the man while he was alive hence his family are returning the favour? What role have they played so far since they heard of the accident? There is a lot to what has happened so far only the judge can decide.

The same mentality that holds people back and causes conflict.

I use standard banks. They make you fill out next of kin details clearly. I work standard places...you can break down your entitlements per person in your family (those are forms of informal wills). Even your pension fund has a provision for a next of kin(s) and a will.

Then of course i have a standard, legal will. You don't have to be married to have a will. So only older people die?

phineas:


Actually we don't need any story. Every decent human being that has heard this tale knows there's 1 basic thing that needs to be done.

The kidnappers should return the 2 year old child to the mother. If she goes to court or not. Society will continue to condemn all representatives of this kind of attrocity such as yourself

You all should return that child asap to the rightful guardian

Well, I am a Yoruba man, I don't know her for anywhere. And I can't let anyone appeal to my emotion so as to stray from being objective. There is much hidden to what she explained. Let's be reasonable.

SyNnadi:


Same thing that is baffling everyone that knows them. This is d same wife they were proud of and all of a,sudden its the opposite in a twinkle of an eye.

Dose it mean they never liked her all along and were just pretending to love her?

Any update? Or do we now need to push this further?

deltateam:


You get contact? Otherwise you can direct her to presidency.

She doesn't need to pass through any bottle neck to go to their command, since I can go there , you can go, everyone can go, as long as you are going there with something genuine, it's free, and you don't have to pay any dine. Since they reside in Benin or delta, their office is in GRA Benin near army headquarters. Far better than police with bunch of greedy rank and files in the division, trying every means to extort from victims.

I wonder why some people find the story unbelievable or are trying to rationalize that it is a one sided tale. I am Benin, married a Benin and lived in Benin before relocating to Lagos. I repeat this is what a wicked family can do and they still do it. I can refer you to a sister in law whose two kids were taken from her by the husband family.

Madam Vera, fight for your child. Make noise, get people interested. they should release your child otherwise that innocent child will suffer!

Sterope:
A child belongs to his parents. It took two people to birth a child. In the absence of the father, the father's family has no right to take over the child unless the mother wishes or is incapable of taking of the child. If she likes, let her marry a million times. It is her child. That child is a relative to everyone else.

Let me ask you a question. Why is traditional marriage done? Even before churches sanction you for a wedding, traditional marriage is done.

A man owns the children according to traditional marriage. The man came out from somewhere, a family or bloodline brought him to the world, he didn't fall from heaven. So the man and his offspring all belong to the same bloodline.

Woman going to marry another man cannot bring another man s children under the new husband, that's why the guys people talked to the new husband, and he clearly understood and saw reason with them.
And his dads family are taking good care of him till his teenage years. He is representing his father in that family history.



My case is totally different from this case.

The woman was the one that fell from sky. The woman's DNA, family history etc iare absent in the child's abi? She was born by vigin Mary abi? She no get bloodline or family?

It takes two people to have a particular child. Traditional marriage and every other bloody event are formalities that doesn't add or remove the fact that it takes two human to have a child. They have equal right over the seed that flows from both of them.

The child cannot have two mothers. Any mother that cares about her child will not remarry a man that does want a child to be with his mother. To hell with stupid roof, house and other stupid rubbish that doesn't mean shit!!!

djon78:




Let me ask you a question. Why is traditional marriage done? Even before churches sanction you for a wedding, traditional marriage is done.

A man owns the children according to traditional marriage. The man came out from somewhere, a family or bloodline brought him to the world, he didn't fall from heaven. So the man and his offspring all belong to the same bloodline.

Woman going to marry another man cannot bring another man s children under the new husband, that's why the guys people talked to the new husband, and he clearly understood and saw reason with them.
And his dads family are taking good care of him till his teenage years. He is representing his father in that family history.



My case is totally different from this case.

alphaNomega:


She remains the mother and nothing can change it. The child also belongs to the father's family and nothing can change it.

Naturally she has more right over the child than any human being on earth, but this is were traditional values come in. I believe it is one of such that the husband's family is riding on to take custody of the child.

Like I said earlier the father's family were wrong to have neglected Vera and even lie about her state of health.

Bro.. The child belongs to the mother and father, and the extended family are just part of that child's family..... This extended family can never have bigger right (over that child) than any of the parent of that child NEVER!!! Therefore if mum says I want to see my child, NOBODY can/should stop her, unless she is deem a danger to the child.

Traditional values make no damn sense

Sterope:
The woman was the one that fell from sky. The woman's DNA, family history etc iare absent in the child's abi? She was born by vigin Mary abi? She no get bloodline or family?

It takes two people to have a particular child. Traditional marriage and every other bloody event are [b]formalities[/b] that doesn't add or remove the fact that it takes two human to have a child. They have equal right over the seed that flows from both of them.

The child cannot have two mothers. Any mother that cares about her child will not remarry a man that does want a child to be with his mother. To hell with stupid roof, house and other stupid rubbish that doesn't mean shit!!!

You call traditional marriage bloody formalities?

I don't have any other thing to say

That is because you don't have any other thing to add.
You post has been devoid of reasoning. It is not going to change now.

djon78:




You call traditional marriage bloody formalities?

I don't have any other thing to say

Sterope:
That is because you don't have any other thing to add.
You post has been devoid of reasoning. It is not going to change now.

And you have had reasoning Abeg shift one side. You think its to blow grammar. I no get time to exchange word with woman

You think it is me that has time to engage words with a man who thinks a grandmother has a right over child than the birth mother.

djon78:



And you have had reasoning Abeg shift one side. You think its to blow grammar. I no get time to exchange word with woman