pappy2000:
I really dont want to brak her sister heart because she has spent her money n energy to make this realtionship work but now my wife is just irrational. I told her its a step at a time but she insisit i should do all, she is asking for phone i must her a new set of chair and do proper wedding all at once, she even suggested i should sell my car n buy okada

Lol na them just dey push you up and down
Alaye fix up

pappy2000:
I used to think marriage should be full of bliss. I have begged and begged her. but its all falling on deaf ears

Sir she said you were an idiot it's not an insult. How can you say her sister is excellent and can borrow you money for business. Honestly it's a shameless thing to say, NEVER EVER depend on family or friends. I thought you bought the Toyota Matrix from a car dealer it shouldn't be giving you problems plus I think you should have done more research on Uber business before venturing. Honestly I don't think Toyota Matrix are commonly used cus I'm not sure it's rugged compared to a corrolla sport or normal Muscle even big daddy. Marriage takes more than love though I think she is pressuring you cus she wants you to buckle up but you can't stand tough love not every gets inspired by tough love but she doesn't know this yet. The fact that she invested 200k in you means she is willing to make it work. Sir you're 40 years old, it's time to get your life on track. If the Matrix is giving you problem sell it and buy a clean Toyota big daddy. Believe it or not part time Uber drivers make as much as 20-25k some even more sef for this same lag. Part time o.

pappy2000:
I really dont want to brak her sister heart because she has spent her money n energy to make this realtionship work but now my wife is just irrational. I told her its a step at a time but she insisit i should do all, she is asking for phone i must her a new set of chair and do proper wedding all at once, she even suggested i should sell my car n buy okada

lol

pappy2000:




now she is everything i dont like in a delay i am even thinking of commiitting sucide because she conplains that i am not a man . I just cry and cry all day , i have no tears left in my eyes. she is just irratioanl always asking me for money.. she is very unloving , i am planning to ivorce her as soon as i marry her.

My brother, you don't need to marry her.

You don't owe any woman anything if she's irrational.

Just call off the wedding; she will come back to her sense.

She should have your child and you guys will take care of the baby together. Na she go even dey beg this time not you begging. Then repay her money later when your car is sound.

Again, you don't owe a woman to marry her, especially if she's not supportive. Don't get yourself into chains in the name of marriage.

Marriage is not a do or die affair

pappy2000:
I really dont want to brak her sister heart because she has spent her money n energy to make this realtionship work but now my wife is just irrational. I told her its a step at a time but she insisit i should do all, she is asking for phone i must her a new set of chair and do proper wedding all at once, she even suggested i should sell my car n buy okada

Jeez! Bro if you can, inbox me your number and let me counsel you through the wisdom of God.

Why will you want to marry someone and divorce her. Talk to her. Let her know your stand. If she is not getting it. Then, Leave.
Make sure you take care of her and the child.
Seriously, Forever is too long be with someone you don't like and wasting each other's time.

pappy2000:
I need to start this write up that i met this lady early this year and i had another lady who from my analysis is not so much in love with me so when i finally met this lady, she was everything i desire in a woman, so we started dating and from dating i went to see her sister in Abuja then from Abuja i went to kogi to meet her parent.

I met her family late June 2019. So I work in a blue chip company with a salary of little more than 100k so but i realized the salary won't make me live my dream life so i took a loan from gtbank to buy a car and use for e hailing.

My fiancee was so much supportive that she on her own decided to add like 200k fund so i bought a toyota matix.

So when I gave out the car the people i gave it to were all misbehaving so i decided that i will drive the car, she was so cool and nice that she will do everything at my beck n call.

Now when i went to meet her sister in Abuja her sister insists that we should pick a date meanwhile in may when we were marking her birthday, she told me how sad she was due to the fact that she was marking her birthday and she is getting younger so i promise her then that we will marry this year. I told her in Novermber so we finally settle for a date and the sister spent her money.

Unfortunately for me things were not as i planned in the uber biz, i need a few repair here and then. Now we got days left to wedding and she has been very irrational. She is pregnant for me, each time she visits me, i will beg her, na the cry and cry. How I truly want a happy home.

Ask God for forgiveness , then ask for his mercy to intervene in the union. Then ask for Gods help to love your wife and Gods help for you wife to love you.

AngryIgboMan:
For those who have not yet seen through the shenanigans of the OP, be you aware this is an SOB STORY meant to win sympathy and scam people of there money.


The op is being smart by half thats why he is knowingly typing in bad English to win pity. Go through his story well and use Nigerian sense to follow him.. This story was meant to win him pity and make people donate money for him.


I CAN ASSURE YOU 100% that this nigger right here is a SCAMMER and FRAUDSTER.

You are just trying to form detective.

Nigerian sense indeed.

pappy2000:



sorry its a story of my life just writing from the heart. i dont think i am writing bad english i am a graduate , I am writing this issue as its comes to my heart.

sorry man! I did not mean to ridicle u. It is not part of me. It is just that some lines and words in the write up were not so clear.
I can feel ur anger and disappointment.
Don't marry with the intent of divorcing her later.!
Don't marry because colleagues and family members r pressuring u to marry!
A broken relationship is much better than a broken marriage.
Best wishes

[quote author=pappy2000 post=83833808] I need to start this write up that i met this lady early this year and i had another lady who from my analysis is not so much in love with me so when i finally met this lady, she was everything i desire in a woman, so we started dating and from dating i went to see her sister in Abuja then from Abuja i went to kogi to meet her parent.

I met her family late June 2019. So I work in a blue chip company with a salary of little more than 100k so but i realized the salary won't make me live my dream life so i took a loan from gtbank to buy a car and use for e hailing.

My fiancee was so much supportive that she on her own decided to add like 200k fund so i bought a toyota matix.

So when I gave out the car the people i gave it to were all misbehaving so i decided that i will drive the car, she was so cool and nice that she will do everything at my beck n call.

Now when i went to meet her sister in Abuja her sister insists that we should pick a date meanwhile in may when we were marking her birthday, she told me how sad she was due to the fact that she was marking her birthday and she is getting younger so i promise her then that we will marry this year. I told her in Novermber so we finally settle for a date and the sister spent her money.

Unfortunately for me things were not as i planned in the uber biz, i need a few repair here and then. Now we got days left to wedding and she has been very irrational. She is pregnant for me, each time she visits me, i will beg her, na the cry and cry. How I truly want a happy home.[/qu
ote]

If you want to have a successful marriage avoid third party.
Including your sister inlaw
you are the head of the family it is your right to sit your wife down and talk to her properly well.
Be extremely open to her, let her face reality and also know how the both of you can grow together financially and otherwise.
Advise her to avoid third party
Third party Na Wetin dey bring problem for marriage.

pappy2000:
I need to start this write up that i met this lady early this year and i had another lady who from my analysis is not so much in love with me so when i finally met this lady, she was everything i desire in a woman, so we started dating and from dating i went to see her sister in Abuja then from Abuja i went to kogi to meet her parent.

I met her family late June 2019. So I work in a blue chip company with a salary of little more than 100k so but i realized the salary won't make me live my dream life so i took a loan from gtbank to buy a car and use for e hailing.

My fiancee was so much supportive that she on her own decided to add like 200k fund so i bought a toyota matix.

So when I gave out the car the people i gave it to were all misbehaving so i decided that i will drive the car, she was so cool and nice that she will do everything at my beck n call.

Now when i went to meet her sister in Abuja her sister insists that we should pick a date meanwhile in may when we were marking her birthday, she told me how sad she was due to the fact that she was marking her birthday and she is getting younger so i promise her then that we will marry this year. I told her in Novermber so we finally settle for a date and the sister spent her money.

Unfortunately for me things were not as i planned in the uber biz, i need a few repair here and then. Now we got days left to wedding and she has been very irrational. She is pregnant for me, each time she visits me, i will beg her, na the cry and cry. How I truly want a happy home.

/
Kindly forward to the slowpoke that is busy paying tithe instead of saving up to support a family.

/

OP are you sure you are 40yo

pappy2000:
I need to start this write up that i met this lady early this year and i had another lady who from my analysis is not so much in love with me so when i finally met this lady, she was everything i desire in a woman, so we started dating and from dating i went to see her sister in Abuja then from Abuja i went to kogi to meet her parent.

I met her family late June 2019. So I work in a blue chip company with a salary of little more than 100k so but i realized the salary won't make me live my dream life so i took a loan from gtbank to buy a car and use for e hailing.

My fiancee was so much supportive that she on her own decided to add like 200k fund so i bought a toyota matix.

So when I gave out the car the people i gave it to were all misbehaving so i decided that i will drive the car, she was so cool and nice that she will do everything at my beck n call.

Now when i went to meet her sister in Abuja her sister insists that we should pick a date meanwhile in may when we were marking her birthday, she told me how sad she was due to the fact that she was marking her birthday and she is getting younger so i promise her then that we will marry this year. I told her in Novermber so we finally settle for a date and the sister spent her money.

Unfortunately for me things were not as i planned in the uber biz, i need a few repair here and then. Now we got days left to wedding and she has been very irrational. She is pregnant for me, each time she visits me, i will beg her, na the cry and cry. How I truly want a happy home.

You are married already technically speaking, Just Stop here, don't go any further with anything, sit her down and talk, if you cannot talk to your wife and sort it out, (even though women can talk and agree with you only to switch later, but at least you've said your mind), then the marriage won't work... you need a God-fearing Marriage counsellor and you both need to be ready to work things out....

Also since she is already pregnant, she will be very hormonal, try and understand that most of what she is doing to you now is due to her pregnancy, don't let it get to you too much...

don't go further with anything, Marriage and all, in fact, let her deliver then you guys can talk "what next", you need to sort things out and considering her kind of woman, if things are not perfect, she will continue to nag you, not all women understand the principle of sowing and waiting before reaping, if she's not supportive, pause don't kill yourself and stop borrowing from her family, Bros... that's very bad, you're roping yourself. work hard, one day you'll make it.... life is not easy, no matter what social media makes it look like, it's not easy for everyone, we all have our crosses, just carry your own with pride and make it work for you.

May God help you.

ireneidiva:
How did you guys manage to understand this writeup?

the guy is really frustrated...no be una wahala dey cause am

Th way you have composed and narrated this clearly shows you are not mentally and emotionally ready for marriage. You're the first person in the world who is planning to get divorced after marriage. If you don't want to go ahead, DO NOT. Forget that you have chosen a wedding date, it is just an event for a few hours. Nobody cares what happens to you after then. Sit your partner down and talk to her. Your happiness and mental wellbeing is what matters most.

It’s probably her pregnancy

pappy2000:
I need your advice, I know a lot need to be done but a lot also have been done. we are getting married n both of us are no longer in love. Its like planning to go behid bars she i just cancel the wedding or i go ahead

my brother go ahead with the wedding if you throughly love the lady just make sure you dont do more than your capacity in the ceremony.. I went to a wedding party in Ilorin all the guests were not up to 200 and it was really fantastic wedding they even used an eatery

pappy2000:
I have already done court wedding with her and she kept complaining of things not done if i knew she is like this i will not marry her. I swear.

pregnant women nag alot because of their condition, and they put up a kins of annoying behavior ,,,just give her time she will change,, after she gives birth, go ahead and marry her

pappy2000:
I used to think marriage should be full of bliss. I have begged and begged her. but its all falling on deaf ears

YOU BETTER DON'T KILLL YOURSELF BECAUSE OF A LADY,IF SHE TERMINAT THE PREGNANCY ANOTHER GIRL WILL BORN FOR YOU AND YOU CAN SAVE YOURSELF ..YOU ARE CRYING LIKE A BABY UHMM HOW OLD ARE YOU?

pappy2000:




now she is everything i dont like in a delay i am even thinking of commiitting sucide because she conplains that i am not a man . I just cry and cry all day , i have no tears left in my eyes. she is just irratioanl always asking me for money.. she is very unloving , i am planning to ivorce her as soon as i marry her.

All I can tell u is that Ure having money management issues and yes it’s enough to frustrate any sane person especially women. Thankfully she has been supportive in the past and that is a good sign bt this recent behavior seems to negate all the good she’s done b4.


Solution: u need to get ur life and finance back on track and on smooth sail. She pregnant she obviously won’t be finding this present situation funny and u need to think of ways to make her pregnancy and life now abit comfortable. Maybe her sister can help accommodate her till u get ur bearing or u seek favors from frnds at this time if u have good ones.

U need help and planning to get out of ur situation bt she can’t be pregnant and patient at same time under these circumstances it will be extremely hard.

Note she can’t work normally to support u now she’s pregnant that’s also part of her frustration.

You seem to be the one at fault from what I read from your story.

I also believe you are not emotionally ready to be a husband (even though you are 40)

life is full of ups and downs even in marriage and you must always prepare yourself.

I can only advice you to quit but the pregnancy makes it a little complicated.

pappy2000:
I really dont want to brak her sister heart because she has spent her money n energy to make this realtionship work but now my wife is just irrational. I told her its a step at a time but she insisit i should do all, she is asking for phone i must her a new set of chair and do proper wedding all at once, she even suggested i should sell my car n buy okada

I know this is a serious matter, but that last sentence made me laugh Buy Okada for what exactly?

Anyway, as a girl above said, women get funny when they are pregnant...they ask for suya, you buy suya, then they say they don't want again, that it is beans and bread they want. They get annoyed easily, and get emotional about a lot of things. If your girl wasn't like this before, maybe it is the pregnancy. You can have a little patience with her.

Please be patient a bit. If she continues, then let her know you are tired and will like to end the sour relationship

0KNM:
Bro, things never get better, it gets worse and worse. Trust me

My Brother you rushed into this relationship/marriage without thinking straight.You did not take adequate time to really get to know who she really was and is and here you have it now.You dont really get to know somebody until over time.You fell for the face value and not the true value.l would advise that you pend everything take a step back to clear your head and think properly.Possibly seek the wise counsel of a matured elderly person with seasoned experience in marriage to open your eyes.

pappy2000:
I am i40 ears old and i have heard enough people telling me to go n marry now i am not finding any fulfillment in this union, she is asking for multiple things at a time and i cant go in the life of crime. I have pleaded with her for a better tomorrow what can i really do i AM THINKING OF DIVORCE AFTER THE WEDDING.

Lwkmd@ bolded.
See nor be by force o. Make she born the pikin while both of you keep observing eachother. That way you won't be bringing your kid into a toxic home.
She's been this way. All those support and all na format. As you don agree to the wedding, nai she present you with the real package.
Lucky you found out before getting hitched... Dodge the bullet egbon

How old is she? Is the sister trying to impose her on you? Enquire about her past. Things like, why her ex left her, why she's been single...... If she's not manageable, you have to leave her. You can as well threaten her with cancellation of the wedding of things don't improve soon between you

What happens in Nollywood relationships is the greatest confusion and deceit that many relationship are facing,
People prepare for wedding but don't prepare for marriage,
How many Seminar / Book about marriage and relationship have you attended/read?
How many times have you prayed about your marriage?
I am not here to Condemn you because what you need now is Solution
Having Done Court Marriage,you are Partially Married.
But my humble Suggestion is to Stop the white wedding and strengthen things out
you are so much under pressure. Secure your life first and sort things out
But the lady is your wife by the court wedding but take a break and put things in order
Don't try to please anybody even her sister when your life is at on the line.
I have a failed wedding plan,we even printed card and some of the card shared, I haven't for one day regretted rather God delivered me from that relationship
But your relationship is complex,court wedding and pregnancy involved
May God help you

pappy2000:
I am i40 ears old and i have heard enough people telling me to go n marry now i am not finding any fulfillment in this union, she is asking for multiple things at a time and i cant go in the life of crime. I have pleaded with her for a better tomorrow what can i really do.. i AM THINKING OF DIVORCE AFTER THE WEDDING.

I've read through your story and several addenda. Let me tell you the truth as a married fellow. She hasn't done anything out of the ordinary. Women want security, their wedding has always been a dream. So, anything that deviates from it gets them worried.

The solution for most women is to secure themselves financially. This will stop them from going crazy by spouse's dwindling fortune. That's the way to go. Your wife MUST create or improve on her income

You made some mistakes by not securing yourself financially before getting her pregnant. If she wasn't pregnant, the timeline for the wedding could've been extended etc.

Continue assuring her things will get better. If you divorce for this minor issue, do you think you won't encounter more later in the marriage or with another woman?

pappy2000:
i wish i am still single the truth is that i explained everything to her and i told her how much i earn now i am pay 45% loan on the car, should i cancel the wedding or i continue

Bro I understand how it feels but never give up on her, remember you said she was once a good girl, maybe this her bad attitude show up when she gets pregnant cos have seen a case like that before, tho you never mention when she change, but I will tell you to just chill, since the sister is more understanding, three of you should have a talk or I believe with her madness there's someone she will always listen to let the person talk to her, and for any unnecessary spending man use your head. Bros you are a man face your relationship challenge it won't last forever. Be strong and always talk to her I mean always soft words break the bones, always talk to her and tortori I'm sure she will change

pappy2000:




now she is everything i dont like in a delay i am even thinking of commiitting sucide because she conplains that i am not a man . I just cry and cry all day , i have no tears left in my eyes. she is just irratioanl always asking me for money.. she is very unloving , i am planning to ivorce her as soon as i marry her.

Young man CANCEL THE PLANNED TM and WEDDING NOW.

Hmmm
To imagine that I was just standing in her shoes some weeks back in her very condition
I was so confused and said some very hateful things to my fiancé that period.
I was under so much stress from my parents and fiancé.. So many things appeared distorted and I told him I'd not have married him under those conditions if I wasn't already 'hooked'
But he was mature enough not to threaten me because he understood..

Just listen to me... All these are the devil's devices. Don't threaten to call off the marriage, even though you don't know how it'll get, everything will definitely work out fine

At a point I just left everything in God's hands

He took charge of everything to the point of controlling the weather in a way that it rained all around us...say 6 houses circumference around us but it never rained in my father's house that day..... Hope you read this, just calm down. It appears you've lost all control... Let the God you worship take the wheels. Calm down