All you need to do is to be prayerful.... So far she's not like this before the pregnancy period may change her behavior. Be calm and prayerful

First of all, women are generally easily irritated and irrational when pregnant. This is not the real her. The real her is coming back when she drops that load in her tummy. 2. Grow a spine, be a man and live by your own rules. If you don't have the money for a wedding be firm and tell her you don't have it. She won't do anything. If she ashamed of herself because she is pregnant, tell her to hide herself in your place till she delivers the baby. Focus your attention on getting money to take care of the baby and not the wedding. You don't want to do a wedding and after get so broke that you can't afford to take care of your baby. Make these decisions and be firm with it. Tell her, tell her sister, tell her parents, be a man and be firm with your decisions. Heaven won't fall and she won't abort the baby. If she does, the fault is on her not you. Her parents and sister might talk derogatorily, still be the man and suck in that bull shit.

pappy2000:
I really dont want to brak her sister heart because she has spent her money n energy to make this realtionship work but now my wife is just irrational. I told her its a step at a time but she insisit i should do all, she is asking for phone i must her a new set of chair and do proper wedding all at once, she even suggested i should sell my car n buy okada

lols. Bt its nt a laffin matter

24kmagic:
Are we talking about Kogi state girl here or someone whose parents just live in Kogi?

Cos if that girl is from Kogi state, just back off! I'm yet to see one good girl from Kogi state and I've seen many. Only go ahead with this wedding if you're also from Kogi state, if not....

Kogi state? God forbid

Ah, calm down joor

deltateam:


You seem to lack financial and emotional intelligence as well self control.

You want to marry and the first thing that came to mind was 'loan'! Your supposed fiancee that was to advise you even had to chunk out #200 000 to add. All for what?

You weren't ready to marry and yet you were firing her on top gear.

Loan all for a car ooo my dear...

Ure already married na and ur talking about divorcing wen u get married. She should know DAT as well. They re so in a hurry to show off. I wish u can postpone d oda wedding u want to do till after birth of ur baby. Every one needed to b calm especially she cos shes at risk with her pregnancy. And dont listen to d evacuation part. Its a threat she cant do it. At 34, removed pregnancy? Wen shes gradually getting to menopause..u need a break from d planned wedding

Your sister-in-law wanna borrow you money. I am not going to pity you at all if you go ahead with the wedding. Her sister is even waiting for you to conclude all the wedding before she will disappear and leave you to your 'love of your life'

Guy, your happiness in life should not be compromised. A woman just disguised and tricked you to hook you down.

Stop crying and man up. Stop all the wedding arrangements. Your priority is to save up for ease welcome of your baby that is coming.

pappy2000:




I am crying daily. there is nothing wrong in trying business,even if one fails,she got an excellent family her sister even told me she is willing to borrow me money when i told her she said i am an idiot.

bros if you ignore "what will people say" and do what you would av done if u get approval from others, I'm sure you'll be happy.

have u wondered on why some men hate to go home after work and others run home with smile?

if you're not happy from d on set,I wonder where u want to get ur happiness from.

if u can't work on her now,if u can't work on ur relationship now what gives u d assurance that everything will be fine...

above all take it to God in prayer,he never fails,he never sleeps nor slumbers

pappy2000:
I need your advice, I know a lot need to be done but a lot also have been done. we are getting married n both of us are no longer in love. Its like planning to go behid bars she i just cancel the wedding or i go ahead

If u are no longer comfortable wit the marriage thing abeg quit now.to avoid stories dat touch the kidney.divorced her after wedding are u ok?

pappy2000:




now she is everything i dont like in a delay i am even thinking of commiitting sucide because she conplains that i am not a man . I just cry and cry all day , i have no tears left in my eyes. she is just irratioanl always asking me for money.. she is very unloving , i am planning to ivorce her as soon as i marry her.

Go to registry and do a small wedding...when your finances improve, you can decide you want to call the whole world

Bross,you are not man enough. I'm sorry to say this. How can you let your wife's sister to be telling you what you want and what to do in your family? You want to please your wife's family and displease yourself? Now,get this, You are getting married to your wife and not to her sister. I mean, you will be living in the same roof with your wife and not with her sister . You people are already out of love in the marriage and you still want to continue with it, who does that? Let me tell you the truth, Nothing sustains marriage like true love. Don't believe the crap they are feeding you with that she will change, She won't change, pregnant or not . Even if the date has been fixed, you can unfix it now. Don't kill yourself in the name of marriage. Hear this: Your wife won't change rather it will get worst, I'm speaking from experience.She has frustrated your life already and you think she will change , she will just push you to kill yourself. The money you want to use for the marriage, save it for your baby.

Sterope:
I don't think that pregnancy is yours.

Badt girl


Hehehe, I don't know go that side, the best thing for him to do is to perform DNA test after the child is born.

habiham:
All you need to do is to be prayerful.... So far she's not like this before the pregnancy period may change her behavior. Be calm and prayerful

Una don start! Prayer people.....always using prayer for everything in Nigeria rather than provide workable solutions.

FROGMAN101:
Read your words like you were crying to me.

Feel sorry for you. I understand man. Really wish you didn’t get her pregnant. This would be curtains by now.

You shouldn’t be coerced into doing something you don’t want. Your happiness and mental health matters.

Another blue-piller learning his lessons the hard way.

I'm glad he spoke up

Well said my point as well,.

greypencils:
First of all, women are generally easily irritated and irrational when pregnant. This is not the real her. The real her is coming back when she drops that load in her tummy. 2. Grow a spine, be a man and live by your own rules. If you don't have the money for a wedding be firm and tell her you don't have it. She won't do anything. If she ashamed of herself because she is pregnant, tell her to hide herself in your place till she delivers the baby. Focus your attention on getting money to take care of the baby and not the wedding. You don't want to do a wedding and after get so broke that you can't afford to take care of your baby. Make these decisions and be firm with it. Tell her, tell her sister, tell her parents, be a man and be firm with your decisions. Heaven won't fall and she won't abort the baby. If she does, the fault is on her not you. Her parents and sister might talk derogatorily, still be the man and suck in that bull shit.

So far she don't behave that manner before

SendAbroad:


Una don start! Prayer people.....always using prayer for everything in Nigeria rather than provide workable solutions.

Pappy2000, from the depth of my heart and for everything I hold dear in this life, I take God beg you, don't go ahead with the wedding.

Calculate how much her sister and your fiancee has spent on you and your uber biz. Calculate it to the last kobo, even add 10k untop and call a family meeting with your family and her family present.
Tell them, u will refund their money back in the next year or two years, when u feel u are certain u will be able to pay them. And be firm about it.
Let no one plead or start crying, if your fiance starts crying or pretend to faint, please stand up and walk out of the meeting. Before you walk out drop the list of amount u will refund on their table. Make sure u sign and date it at the end of the total number area.
Then call your parents, please let's go. If they refuse to follow you? Leave them there!

This is time for a military action on your spouse and her family.

Especially the bride.
And let them know u will foot the bills of the pregnancy, and even after she gives birth but u cannot marry her. I repeat u cannot marry her! Because your peace of mind and mental health is at stake here.


Do you know my late brother died because of pressure from his fiancee, due to the pressure he invested all his money in a biz that's meant to give him so much profit after a period of time. Calculating how he will meet up with the date and marry her. Before he used to be careful and wise with investing of funds but because of her pressure he invested all his life savings.

Lo and behold he lost everything and had stroke!

The useless girl left him, just on the first day she help me to sleep in the hospital. Just that first day she slept and watched him for me, she broke up with him the next day on his sick bed, saying she can't marry him anymore and she can't wait till when he gets better. And I warned him when he was dating her, this one is not wife material. She's not good for a wife, he almost fought me because I warned him to stay clear from her. I was like so woman for make u fight me! Your only sister! It's alright, go ahead with the wedding. I will be here and u will come and meet me when your eyes clear.

I met my stroke stricken brother crying when I came back from work to take over from her, but I didn't meet her there. I looked at him and said shebi I warned u, I warned you but u no dey hear word. I know a good woman when I interact with her and I know a bad woman too but u didn't listen. Even our late mum didn't like her as well. But all these warning didn't deter him, he went ahead and started planning his wedding with her.

Can u imagine!!!! A useless girl pressurizing him to marry, she no give am breathing space, now she has caused him to have stroke and left him!

He died after three years of trying to get him back on his feet. Which also left me completely broke ,in huge debts And shattered ! Due to his treatments and all. Everyone deserted him, except me. I was thrown from Grace and success to Lack and Poverty. I can't watch my only brother and leave him.


So I use God beg you! Don't marry under pressure! I repeat don't marry when your mind is no longer in love with her. Don't do it.

Your life is at stake here!

I'm a woman and yes I'm saying this!

Any man who pressurises me to marry I will cut him off! Likewise I won't pressure any man to marry me. I hate stress with a great passion. I hate it like mad!!!!!

May God help u to stand on your feet and protect yourself from that woman, u call fiancee.

Try to be a man,stand on your feet and go to her sister that if she(ur wife)didnt change and give u peace of mind you will not go for the traditional wedding again and you file divoice letter to court,try and treating them,you too need peace of mind,am talking from experiences guy

pappy2000:




I am crying daily. there is nothing wrong in trying business,even if one fails,she got an excellent family her sister even told me she is willing to borrow me money when i told her she said i am an idiot.

sorry man , u are really an IDIOT!! Dnt any money frm sister or any of the family member,cos u wil loose ur respect . Do only wat u can ..

habiham:
So far she don't behave that manner before

The first step is for him to find out why she is behaving like that. He needs to verify. So, when she comes visiting, he needs to find out who she is communicating with that is putting her under pressure thereby transferring aggression to him.

My friend you made a mistake getting her pregnant.
You should have controlled yourself and use your brain than your heart.
Love is just your imagination. It's not wise to fall for it.
I will advice you to avoid all of them. If possible relocate.
Last last she go born and learn her lesson.
She go even calm down begin find you to make peace.

generationz:


I thought you said she was supportive and gave you 200k for your business?

What changed?

Did you do something that made her not trust you anymore and made her become mean to you?


I think you both should just take time off and cool off from each other. Marriage isn't by force.

The wedding you are scared of cancelling some people die before it and it still gets cancelled. No one remembers all the rice and invitation when they are mourning.

Since you guys have done court wedding just relax. Let her have her baby. Isn't one of the aims of marriage to have kids.

Don't let anybody put pressure on you. Be in charge. You are the man. Think straight. Plan well. Plan how you'll get out of this mess. Wedding isn't compulsory.


If she thinks you are not man enough then it is time for you to take a break from her.

Only send her monthly upkeep for her and the baby.

Set a standard amount that even in the toughest times you will be able to afford.


Stay away from each other. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Too much familiarity breeds contempt.


Let her only see the proceeds of your hustle. Forget everything romance right now.

And if you did anything to offend her, ask for her forgiveness.

You are a man,you hit the nail at the head,three gboza for you.

pappy2000:
I have already done court wedding with her and she kept complaining of things not done if i knew she is like this i will not marry her. I swear.

Women hide alot about there self.. at this point my brother pray for God to direct you..cause you have done court wedding.

thanks everyone for your advice. I am not here to beg for money . I repeat i am not here to beg for money i just need your advice. The only thing u can do for me to support me now is if u are around kogi area this month end u can be my guest, thanks. that i just all i need , God bless u all. that is the only support i need. thanks I have only 12 people coming from Lagos to kogi while they are bringing 300 people its damn so crazy. when i told them that is much they say that is their tradition.

the reason i am writing this way is that I am writing from my heart. I am writing as i remember things

You are on point. Thanks for this masterpiece coming from a woman.

jeesprecy:
What made you think she loved you initially, she was considering settling down quick and had to be nice to tie you down.
I suggest you apologize to the lady you were with before you met her and then pray that things get better.
You both should give yourself a break for the time being, everything was rushed, you met her this year and still want to get married this year, was she not with someone before?
Did she take time to heal?
Did you pray before deciding to marry her?
Or it was all about sex for you.
The foundation of your relationship was faulty, seek God's face in all sincerity and ask Him to guide you.

pappy2000:
I really dont want to brak her sister heart because she has spent her money n energy to make this realtionship work but now my wife is just irrational. I told her its a step at a time but she insisit i should do all, she is asking for phone i must her a new set of chair and do proper wedding all at once, she even suggested i should sell my car n buy okada

I feel your pain. Guy, pregnancy makes women anything or everything you never knew about the woman. Especially the first pregnancy. Even her eating habit can be irritating.

My wife during her 1st woke me up 4am to make her soup and semo. After i was done she drank the entire soup from the pot and left the semo. She moved out to my parents house same day as she cannot stand being in our house.

That phase is the reason why a lot of couples will not want to be pregnant immediately after wedding. It doesn't give you a chance to have a good time as husband and wife.

I suggest you remain positive till the baby drops. It will be unfair to walk out now before the baby comes. I also see your problems are financial, be advised that there will be more financial hurdles to come.

When I read stuffs likes this, I feel irritated most times but I understand though.

My advice form experience, A BROKEN MARRIAGE IS BETTER THAN A BROKEN HOME!

You don't commit to a lifetime commitment for 'pity' but for "Love".

You should not be coerced or pleaded-with to get married (by anybody, sister in-law, friends etc).

I can blame this on "pregnancy-hormone" cause it comes most times with its intricacies but I wouldn't want to so it doesn't look like I am trying to make excuse for your "wife" to be. You know what you're seeing already, get ready for more unless it goes after child birth though.

If you caught her pants down with another guy a night before your wedding, won't you call-off the wedding? Saying its to late to call-off is not an excuse.

Op, we won't live with you after your marriage & trust me, marriage has its own vices; positive & negative, if you can't deal with it together, you both will be doomed. If you're already thinking of divorce already, don't even border getting married out of "pity" you'll live to regret it.

You're already married under the law & you're sounding like a broken record already? You're already breaking your vows... You're 40 yet you laid your complaint like someone in 20s been forced to be married, sorry not trying to be judgmental but if you choose to go through the marriage; then, you need to stop crying & take responsibilities of your actions, tears from guyz irritates most ladies too.

All the best in the end & good luck, you'll need lots of that......

As stated she was a good woman before she became pregnant, her state of mind during pregnancy might be the issue.

pappy2000:
I really dont want to brak her sister heart because she has spent her money n energy to make this realtionship work but now my wife is just irrational. I told her its a step at a time but she insisit i should do all, she is asking for phone i must her a new set of chair and do proper wedding all at once, she even suggested i should sell my car n buy okada

i been won laugh but make i respect my self

is she educated,.

pregnant woment can kill rat and use it to cook for you,they are that irrational ,it gets worse if you as the man has been the one doing the loving from day one.

advice:

Grow some balls,.stop marriage plans stating how you need to save money at hand for baby
the sister will not live with you guys after marriage ,if she is in a hurry like that then there is something they are not telling you.

Grow two balls,.stand and make ur decissions count the way it will favoure you first then your expentat family cos guy,.if u go six ft eh she go jump on the next guy and ur kid will be raised by total strangers...U first,.You the head,.lose that you lose everything.

After delivery and she still contibue then call it all off,..else do only the necessary things to pay dowry,book appointment with priest or pastor for private wedding and focus on your family mostly the new kiddo

Dnt be a puzzy,dnt kill ya self,..take control (please leave that car if e no won work,.focus and save)

She has already shown you that she's the kind of a woman that would make you feel like you're not enough for her, once you can't meet her needs. This kind of woman is very manipulative, machiavellian and the nightmare of every man struggling through life. At this your level, you need a woman who can do things for herself;
so whatever you give her is more or less a gift. You both could also contribute for a small.

pappy2000:
I need your advice, I know a lot need to be done but a lot also have been done. we are getting married n both of us are no longer in love. Its like planning to go behid bars she i just cancel the wedding or i go ahead

pappy2000:




now she is everything i dont like in a delay i am even thinking of commiitting sucide because she conplains that i am not a man . I just cry and cry all day , i have no tears left in my eyes. she is just irratioanl always asking me for money.. she is very unloving , i am planning to ivorce her as soon as i marry her.

Run to your mama and have your diaper changed, kid.
What makes you think a kid like you is ready to get married. I don't give a shyte how old you are. You got the mental capacity of a 13 year old.

pappy2000:
i wish i am still single the truth is that i explained everything to her and i told her how much i earn now i am pay 45% loan on the car, should i cancel the wedding or i continue

You've done the court wedding. You're already married (Read Titus 3:1, Romans 13:1-7)

The federal government of Nigeria considers you married.

She might be overbearing now because she wants a wedding of a lifetime. She has become a Bridezilla.

Apply below once you do the public wedding.

Now that you're married, you now have to put your foot down and say NO to her many demands if she's still needy. When she realises you're resolute and can't be nagged by her tantrums into getting her ways, she will become sober.

You don't have to beat her. Let your NO stand. Though you take your stand, once in a while, buy her some nice snacks like meatpies, doughnuts and so on from Mr Biggs or elsewhere. This will tell her subconsciously that you still love her.q

Even if she acts unappreciative of the snacks, don't assume it as true. Human feelings are beyond comprehension

Just pray she does not demand for snacks everyday.

"Husbands, continue loving your wives and not be bitterly angry with them"(Read Collosians 3:19) Always take this to heart.

Well, we've heard your own side of the story, what of her own side?