chaircover:

Another annoying habit is his cussing other drivers as he drives along even though 50% of the time, Its usually his fault but he fails to see it LOL 

One day my daughter walked through the door with her dad after being picked up from school and asked me "mummy what is a funky banter?" I scratched my head and I had to give up saying I didn't know what it was. Then she said "daddy keeps on telling other drivers that they are funky banters" 

Then the terrible truth dawned on me that he was actually saying fukking bbastard!!     

Thankfully after this episode, the cussing has drastically decreased now & its now only things such as "look at this man" but he is still a totally different species when he is behind the wheel and we all have to hold on to something for dear life 

. . . .more annoying habits to come

mY FATHER in HEAVEN, NA WETIN i DEY MISS FOR NAIRALAND be this? This thread is funnier than the funniest joke thread. People for my office just dey stare at my uncontrollable laughter

my husband loves to cook as much as he loves to eat. I've told him time without # to please, PLEASE always make sure that when he puts a dirty dish or pot in the sink, to put water in them so it will be easier to wash. 8 years down the road and i'm still fighting with him over this simple thing to do. It's annoying when i have to do the dishes and half of them are so dried and caked with food crusts and has to be soaked for a while b4 washing. If i try to put them like that into the dishwasher they come out looking like they were b4 i put them in. His solution is to fill the pot with water and put on the stove to boil wasting gas and electric. Why is it that men don't like listening to common sense?

LMAO!
had to bookMARk this thread and I saved the entire page with my download manager synching it to my PDA now for offline view my laughing seems to be getting me to trouble while at work.cant just stop laughing.NAIRALAND ROCKS

No 1------------------loves holding my breast before he sleeps.says he cant sleep without holding them.
No 2------------------cant find anything.always looking for something.
No 3------------------always asking for sex as if na food.the thing tire me

prommy:

No 1------------------loves holding my bosom before he sleeps.says he cant sleep without holding them.
No 2------------------cant find anything.always looking for something.
No 3------------------always asking for sex as if na food.the thing tire me

Madam, no reason amooooo cos if he should stop it means things have gone terribly wrong and someone else out there is helping you service him

chaircover:

One day my daughter walked through the door with her dad after being picked up from school and asked me "mummy what is a funky banter?" I scratched my head and I had to give up saying I didn't know what it was. Then she said "daddy keeps on telling other drivers that they are funky banters" 

Then the terrible truth dawned on me that he was actually saying fukking bbastard!!     

james-t:

Since the thread is very much alive, here is one that irritates my friend about his new wife,  She never makes a budget or tell him in good time when the food store is getting depleted, she leaves it for when he's about to start enjoying a meal and then she'll say "mschhwww, the maggie in this soup was the very last in the house, " This quickly ruins his appetite!!

Guyman02:

My sister complains that her hubby is too careful and too tidy. if she drops a glass of cold water on the center table to go to the kitchen, before she comes back he has returned the glass to the fridge and is busy cleaning the table of small water drops.

Even when they have visitors around and their kid drops a seed of rice on the dinning floor, he will rush to start sweeping and mopping while still discussing important issues with the guests; next, he is dusting the TV set. All she does is to use killer looks to tell him to stop and prevent herself from screaming at him.

Lmao 

Very funny, you should discuss it with her

i have bn laughin for close to 1 hr reading thru all d comments.God bless y'all.
@op,thanks a million for dis post.
am sure am gona kip laughin each time i remember these comments.

I love my woman to death but,she has some habits that i dont know if to say they are annoying.

1 >>>>>>>each time i am close to her and she wants to sneeze,she would just grab my hand and sneezes into it.and minutes later,if i want to grab her face in my hands,she would push me away and say i should go wash those hands.meanwhile,na her saliva oo.

2 >>>>>>>she is too respectful for my liking.always putting 'sir' each time she greets people.even those who are just 6 yrs older.(she is too pretty n classic for such.it makes me feel low)

3 >>>>>>> generous to a fault and people are taking advantage of her good heart.i hope she doesnt give out d car i bought her(how do i handle dis?)

shiningzin:

I love my woman to death but,she has some habits that i dont know if to say they are annoying.

1 >>>>>>>each time i am close to her and she wants to sneeze,she would just grab my hand and sneezes into it.and minutes later,if i want to grab her face in my hands,she would push me away and say i should go wash those hands.meanwhile,na her saliva oo.

2 >>>>>>>she is too respectful for my liking.always putting 'sir' each time she greets people.even those who are just 6 yrs older.(she is too pretty n classic for such.it makes me feel low)

3 >>>>>>> generous to a fault and people are taking advantage of her good heart.i hope she doesnt give out d car i bought her(how do i handle dis?)

You've got a super wife. . . I dey jealous

all you 'funky banters' are hilarious

@shinningzin,u wife try ooo,i respect her.my wife is same too

As for me, here goes:

1. my wife disturbs me at night, says that i snore
she jabs my ribs everynight to say 'turn over joo'
2. she can worry about anything i swear and me i'm just a happy go lucky guy (akunamatata).
when all is well and there's nothing to worry about, she'll say 'ah, me i'm afraid o. this one dat everything is ok so'
3. she loves to walk around the house in her birthday suit. i don't mind when it's just us, but she does it with siblings on both sides.
it just irks me no limits. Aahh!!!

but i know say i get my own too o.

THANK GOD I BELONG TO THIS FORUM, THOUGH AM NOT MARRIED BUT I THINK ITS FUN DOING ALL THESE NEGATIVE STUFF. TO BE SINCERE IF THESE ARE WHAT MARRIAGE IS ALL ABOUT THEN I NOT SCARED ANY MORE. I CANT WAIT FOR GOD BLESSING.

My husband like farting when we are in bed and it's fun to him when he farts while making love
Guess what, i have long learnt how to fart too so when he starts i i no longer respond verbally but "anally" lol and mind comes with no sound but very stinky

My husband likes to kiss me very early in the morning when he knows his mouth smells and he does dis just to piss me off. I usually retaliate bysending him to brush

This one i hate with a passion, he would wait only when we have visitors so that he can start discussing kitchen issues "baby that bag of rice i bought will last mor than 2 months right? what about the yams they are good not so? Ah fit die me

sexylad:

This one i hate with a passion, he would wait only when we have visitors so that he can start discussing kitchen issues "baby that bag of rice i bought will last mor than 2 months right? what about the yams they are good not so? Ah fit die me

,  men and their over inflated ego.

My wife can forget her phone anywhere

Waking me up in the middle of the night or should I say midmorning for some awilo lokomba show. Seriously I don't joke with my sleep and also don't appreciate someone waking me up with his lips and then asking me one yeye question with one kain husky voice. . . . " are you awake?" . . . . . ofcourse I am awake who wouldn't be? not with you poking me from behind with hands allover me.

2. Very disorganized, comes back flinging shoes, jeans, shirt everywhere infact I have to practically jump over his clothes in the living room to get to the kitchen.   at the end of the day he still comes back to me asking me where his blue stockings are? if you cant find the bleeping stockings why don't you make do with another one? he'd refuse to take another one instead he will turn the cupboards in the spareroom upside down cos he is looking for one blue socks.

3. Wanting to cuddle at every given time, seriously when I am on my periods I'd rather be left alone, don't want nobody around me. Ok I can relate with the cuddling in obodo oyibo and on the streets of naija, but not inside the church in naija for heaven's sakes during sermon the dude had his hands around me, giving me kisses and nibbling my ear. I pinched him once to stop it and wait atleast till we are outside the church, but for where infact my warnings  motivated him the more. You can see the pastor peeping at us thru his glasses trying to concentrate on his sermon.


4. The dude calls me 50times a day, even back then when I was still in school all I do is switch off my fone cos this dude rings me up a million times on his days off to ask me if he could come pick me up from school, For heavens sake I went to school with my car, how can he come pick me up with his bikonu?

jennykadry:

Waking me up in the middle of the night or should I say midmorning for some awilo lokomba show. Seriously I don't joke with my sleep and also don't appreciate someone waking me up with his lips and then asking me one yeye question with one kain husky voice. . . . " are you awake?" . . . . . ofcourse I am awake who wouldn't be? not with you poking me from behind with hands allover me.

2. Very disorganized, comes back flinging shoes, jeans, shirt everywhere infact I have to practically jump over his clothes in the living room to get to the kitchen. at the ends of the day he still comes back to me asking me where his blue stockings are? if you cant find the bleeping stockings why don't you make do with another one? he'd refuse to take another one instead he will turn the cupboards in the spareroom upside down cos he is looking for one blue socks.

3. Wanting to cuddle at every given time, seriously when I am on my periods I'd rather be left alone, don't want nobody around me. Ok I can relate with the cuddling in obodo oyibo and on the streets of naija, but not inside the church in naija for heaven's sakes during sermon the dude had his hands around me, giving me kisses and nibbling my ear. I pinched him once to stop it and wait atleast till we are outside the church, but for where infact my warnings motivated him the more. You can see the pastor peeping at us thru his glasses trying to concentrate on his sermon.


4. The dude calls me 50times a day, even back then when I was still in school all I do is switch off my fone cos this dude rings me up a million times on his days off to ask me if he could come pick me up @ school, For heavens sake I went to school with my car, how can he come pick me up with his bikonu?

@ Jenny, u no go kill me with laff oh! I can relate to what ur going through sha! Sometimes our men think we should be happy they r showing us so much affection and attention but they don't know that there's a right place and time for everything, so sometimes, there "show of love" can be very aggravating and exasperating. 

pslm23:

@ Jenny, u no go kill me with laff oh! I can relate to what your going through sha! Sometimes our men think we should be happy they r showing us so much affection and attention but they don't know that there's a right place and time for everything, so sometimes, there "show of love" can be very aggravating and exasperating. 

Happy ke?they can be a pain in the behind

We recently visited naija(Infact the whole extended family i.e brothers and sisters from far and near ) .We planned it even before I left for naija that I was going to spend @ least 1 day by my parents. So I left one morning, he planned to come ov er later in the day as he had some business to wrap up. So when he later came over by my parents we were all in the living room, I was lying down on the floor when he came in, the first thing he did was greet my parents and siblings(I happen to be the last child) so by the time he got to me the dude laid on me slightly and started his open display of affection, seriously if you see him you'd think he's not seen me for years, telling me how much he's missed me that day and bla bla bla

For heavens sake this dude should have saved my old and fragile old skool parents this "Show" lest they suffer from shock

No way Im I going to rome with dat dude, cos he is going to make even the pope commit fornication.

murtalaa:

my gf is plain looking but she thinks she is the second coming.

i use to think she was anorexic because of the impossibly little amount of food she eats before me until i caught her with plate piled with tuwo that scares the poo out of my aboki nyash.

Ok this got me RTLFMSGBO

@pslm23

I have to agree with you on the seeking attention part, are you sure we both are not married to the same person? this dude practically screams in the toilet when he cant get it out, the other day he called me @ work and told me his stomach is all bloated and stuff, see me running back home thinking say my man was dying just for me to come back and saw him busy eating bread and drinking coke. I asked him what happened he said he has not opened his bowels for 2 days now and he reckons sugar will help him in the movement as well as bread,  . . .  like WTF, as if that one was not enough, he asked me if he needs to take some suppositories . and since I am in the medical field I should know better. Like seriously they are peeps @ the hospital with serious cases needing urgent attention, I could not believe I drove all the way down to attend to some dude eating bread and drinking coke

jennykadry:

Ok this got me RTLFMSGBO

@pslm23

I have to agree with you on the seeking attention part, are you sure we both are not married to the same person? this dude practically screams in the toilet when he cant get it out, the other day he called me @ work and told me his stomach is all bloated and stuff, see me running back home thinking say my man was dying just for me to come back and saw him busy eating bread and drinking coke. I asked him what happened he said he has not opened his bowels for 2 days now and he reckons sugar will help him in the movement as well as bread,  . . .  like WTF, as if that one was not enough, he asked me if he needs to take some suppositories . and since I am in the medical field I should know better. Like seriously they are peeps @ the hospital with serious cases needing urgent attention, I could not believe I drove all the way down to attend to some dude eating bread and drinking coke

ROTFLMFAO!! Jen, e be like say our hubbys are the same oh! brothers from a different mother, i tot my husband was the only one to pull the "I can't poop" stunt.so u too have been a recipient? When I got married i never bargained on getting a big baby but that's what i'm stuck with. if he has small headache, my hubby thinks its a tumor.if he is constipated, he thinks it is another tumor. leg pain is blood clot,  i can go on nd on. Haba!

@jenny ur hubby u go kill me lafta

@Jenny your hubby sounds like a nice and loving guy.

@Jenny, that was hilarious. One funny and loveable dude u got there.

Gawd I don't even know where to start from again sef?

1. We both visited Nigeria last month, before then I have been visiting Nigeria on my own and sometimes with him without issues. Anyways the dude always insists on holding my passport and E-ticket because he reckons I am going to misplace it I have been travelling on my own with my passport and ticket and have never misplaced it. Seriously.

2. Whenever we are going out together , I allow him drive because I the guy practically wants to tell me how to drive, the last time the dude called me "a rough driver" can you imagine? I was driving before I met him and have never gotten any points off so why should he call me a rough driver and to make matters worse he started (verbally) teaching me how to drive. .He told me I am a threat to human lives and I should go take up some driving lessons again

Anyways I thought the dude was joking , the next day he went to the license office and got me a book with all the road rules e.t.c

Believe me when I say I have over 8 of those books even the one he gave to me 3yrs ago is still in a box, and I am yet to get into trouble

more

@teslim

Your issue with your wife is more than just annoying. You have some issues you need to sort out as fast as possible. Those things you mentioned could lead to breakup. Work on your marriage please.

:/

My husband does d last part of what u said very well. He actually is a custodian of a large volume of knowledge, thanks 2 being a voracious reader n researcher. He might even turn off the TV if he thinks I am paying more attention 2 it dan 2 wat he is saying!!!

Imagine this situation, I come home n say, darling I just discovered dis n dat. He will immediately counter with yes dats true but not only dat, den I listen 2 about 10mins sermon on dat subject.

I av learnt 2 smile n say stuff like dats so interesting, where do u get time 2 find out all dese things, etc even if I av tuned out 9 minutes ago. It keeps him happy.

:/

New year! new habit.

I hv noticed since the new year that the new trend is calling of different pet names.

Ihv known "sweetie" as far as i know him now, sweetie, if i dont answer quick and ask why he is calling he would add so many names to its and it annoys me cos i have query for not answering any of the names: nnem, mama, nneoma, obim, honey, swt baby OMG, do i have to answer everthing? then he would kill me kpatakpata with "Uto m" meaning sweetie and he knows i hate the sound of that Uto m