RE: Nigeria Girls In Canada Are Lonely

This thread is a follow up to a thread by -gargoylern, that graced nairaland front page today. What an interesting topic. Well done, op! I have had similar observations from my corner where I live. Find link below if you have not read the story. https://www.nairaland.com/5782313/chai-nigerian-girls-canada-lonely

Back to the topic, this situation is not peculiar to Canada alone but most developed countries. There are a few reasons I have come to believe contribute to this loneliness of African ladies in diaspora and not just Nigerians alone. After my observation, I am afraid that many African ladies would never marry in their lifetime even though many of them desire being married. This is because many have thrown away their African realities and fully embraced the Western reality. What a pity! Below are reasons I believe to be fuelling the loneliness as observed by "gargoylern". Sit back, read along and enjoy.

++ Social and Constitutional set up of the society they live: The West gives considerable power to the female gender than they will get in Africa, Asia and the Middle East. So for many African ladies, this reality is one they can't really fathom and they tend to exercise it to the fullest. Some are quick to drive their man away from the house at slightest provocation, others are quick to trigger the divorce clause in their marriage for issues that they can resolve amicably. All of these things are not oblivious to the younger generation of African men who are then afraid to travel the road of marriage with their African ladies.

++ Financial Independence - Given the relative ease of earning an income in developed countries, ladies earn for themselves and mostly think they don't need a man in their lives. By the time they realise the time is ticking, it becomes increasingly difficult for them to subject themselves to the authority of a man based on the reality of the environment they have found themselves and their possible deep pockets at the point in time.

++ Resident Permit/Foreign Passport - This could really be intoxicating for many of these girls. It is something I really can't stomach. They think the foreign passport or permanent resident status they hold is where the world begins and ends. It is really baffling when they jump into conclusion that you are coming to them because you are seeking to get residency status. For me and a few friends, we have left them to dwell in their miseries. I don't know any man worth his dignity that would keep chasing a lady with this kind of thinking!

++ Imaginary Class/segregation: Most Africans born abroad or those who have lived there for long have this notion that they are better than their counterparts who just newly arrived. Given that they have stayed longer, it gives them that leverage to have better settled and adapt to the country they find themselves. Many of these disporians born or long stayed African ladies also have this pride to tell you to your face as a fellow African that you have accent as many have native accent due to the fact they have stayed longer in the country and have adjust to the vocals of the natives. How disrespectful! So these automatically turn people off from approaching them based on previous experiences. Thereby making guys to gravitate towards foreigners for filial relationships.

++ Team White boys mentality: This one is very hilarious in all fairness. As most African ladies think black boys are stingy, not romantic, or too authoritative. Which conditions their mind to wanting to explore white boys due to the many fairytales they have seen in movies. Not knowing that movies are make believe, and in most cases fall short of realities. Most white boys are Bleep boys who are only looking to explore their inner desires of bedding a black girl and nothing more in most cases! So by the time the white boy enjoys the cookies for a while, he packs his "kaya"! Mind you, these white boys are better headmasters than their black counterparts given the fact that they are lacking in size and lack the stamina to give penile pleasure like an African man would do. A few black girls do retrace their steps quickly back to their African men to enjoy bliss, while some are stuck in it after becoming objects in that relationship as they are usually discriminated against by the family of the white boy. Example is the Ghanian girl whose experience with a German guy was put on this platform a while ago.

++ Too much expectations: Given that it takes time for an average immigrant to settle in a new country, it is not strange for the black guys to face some financial constraints starting out thereby making the person to thread easy on expenditures that are not necessary. In addition, as a new landed black man, it might take a few while to get any corporate job which will put you on the mid ladder of the society. Most of these girls detest mingling with guys in this bottom down position as they want fancy things with many fantasies that their parents who brought them abroad or gave birth to them abroad cannot afford. Let us not open the can of worms regarding this part. And as it is natural for a man to look elsewhere when he finally gets his act together, he is definitely not going to look their way again! So this leaves many of them single till they are advanced in age. By this time, they bring their miss independent mindset to social media to feign happiness and further deceiving ladies back home that they don't need men for anything, meanwhile they are suffering in silence! And these ladies at home are quick to jump on the bandwagon and start forming "woke" and they also start treating homeboys as shit without understanding the underlying factors responsible for the attitude by their diaspora counterparts. This is big danger to the family as an institution in Africa.

On the bright side, African ladies in diaspora with residency or passport should check in to the continent to pick husband materials and bring them abroad since many would say there are no husbands abroad. Furthermore, if you are on the Canada journey, please find a man or put one in your plans before you move. You don't want your coochie to bear the harrowing cold while it secrets its juice without any manly taste to quench the fire. Lol. It is for this reason that oyinbo girls find succour in Love Machine.

Finally, many African ladies and mothers in diaspora need to do some reflection to know where the rain started to beat them. They need to keep educating their girls on the African values, especially what is expected of them on the home front. Some would tag this as being stuck in the 19th century or in medieval times, but if you reflect, you will find some sense in what I have written. Regardless of the beauty of the western culture, our norms and tradition as a people is important to our survival as a race.

Oh la la.............................................

Following gently...

kwakwakwa:
Oh la la.............................................

Oya come back and drop your comment now. Chairman space bookers association of nairaland. Lol.

Zikyke:
Following gently...

Waiting for your take. Don't stay too long.