People behave the way they do because its who they are. Even if they are not successful they will still act in the same manner. The secret is to avoid the ones who make your life a living hell.

SOMEONE DARE quote destinys child on an independence thread hehehehehehe

'can you pay my bills'
'can you pay my telephone bills'
'can you pay my automobiils'
'if you did then maybe we could chil'

'boy you aint gettin nuttin from us cos in your pockets you aint got nuttin but dust'

'i need the boys up top from the freeway, know how to split that money 3 way'

'you cant say you gotta go, aint no other chick spending your dough'

i can actually go on forever!

Mrs, Chima:

I have a question, are you male or female?

Does it matter if I am a man or a woman.  It looks like it struck you. May be your husband use to complain.

misanho:

As soon as a lady startz takin care of her rentz, billz, taxez and can get a car,go shoppin wit her own money nd mayb send a little 4 d upkeep of her siblingz nd parent witout d help of a man or if married her partner, den 2 her itz her nd her only, She bcomes rude n lackz respect n even 4get d normz n virtuez of a lady, We see some NL sist who talk ill bcoz dey receive some thin change nd tag themselve independent ladies, lol, except some very few who wit all dis dey re still humble n full of respect, anyway God will help them nd Us all,

That is what you I am talking about. Let the so called independent women keep their heads low. At least that will reduce the rate of home violence and divorce.

degubi:

People behave the way they do because its who they are. Even if they are not successful they will still act in the same manner. The secret is to avoid the ones who make your life a living hell.

That is a different ball game. If you are poor and have bad mouth "Na your own worst pass"

MBG4Real:


Does it matter if I am a man or a woman.  It looks like it struck you. May be your husband use to complain.

That is what you I am talking about. Let the so called independent women keep their heads low. At least that will reduce the rate of home violence and divorce.

That is a different ball game. If you are poor and have bad mouth "Na your own worst pass"

Sorry Boo! My husband is not complaining about me making my own money. He makes his own money and I make my own money. Don't try to put your lack of self confidence on to my husband. He has nothing to do with your lack of. IF you have an issue with a woman being independent maybe you need to check your drawers to see if your balls are missing.

Mrs, Chima:

Sorry Boo! My husband is not complaining about me making my own money. He makes his own money and I make my own money. Don't try to put your lack of self confidence on to my husband. He has nothing to do with your lack of. IF you have an issue with a woman being independent maybe you need to check your drawers to see if your balls are missing.

I am sure you are covering up here.  I envisage what that brother is suffering.  Don't bother saying any more, "by their fruits, we shall , "

when you think about it the topic is exceptionally stupid, its insinuating that most married women are dependent in their husbands. Maybe in Nigeria, which is still pretty backwards for the most. But in developed countries ALL women are independent! most women have careers and jobs, their own bank accounts and buy their own clothes!
Its only in Nigeria you will hear of a woman that will ask her husband for money before she can eat, thats abnormal in other places!

being independent is not glamorous, the retards that find pride in lamenting their independence! i laugh! so you should now get a round of applause for fending for yourself? who is meant to fend for you? kmt

MBG4Real:

I am sure you are covering up here.  I envisage what that brother is suffering.  Don't bother saying any more, "by their fruits, we shall , "

One thing for sure, Mr. Chima won't be creating FOOLISH crying threads about Mrs. Chima. Respect that.

Hell yeah . . . . . Mrs Chima got everything on lock down

Excuse you, Mr Jaybee?

big lie

I don't know - sometimes I think I am weird - I really do - more and more I think I am prejudice.  I don't want to be, but I think in my heart that I am.

I don't want to be around or befriend a female that isn't working.  I just don't.  I don't want her hand out to me because she can't or didn't get enough from her bf/husband that week, day or month.  I don't do loans.

But, I also hate loud mouth, ignorant, unfeminine women who belittle men and they better not do it in my presence - because I leave the vicinity really fast.  I have a past  friend (female) that is unemployed and talks loud and crazy to her husband, the poor man looks horrible when she does it - which is the beginning of the end because he bottles it up and then explodes on her up the road.  Not only is she penniless w/o him, but she gets all ghetto with him and will do it in front of me.  Embarrassing me.  I ended that friendship.  I don't have the time to school her.

But I also find that women that don't work and don't have a bit of independence of their own, rely too much on their mate and many times, that mate will disrespect her and talk down to her and I don't suffer fools in my presence - male or female.  Regardless of who is or isn't working - respect each other.  So u can have a mate that wants you around.

Let's say it in anda way,the more independent a woman, the more stuborn and nargatic she becomes. Sure nt all of them bt most of them. they grow up in a socity that expects them to do less n depend on men, suddenly they feel the power feelin no need 4 man

Sometimes, perception becomes everything. For the ladies, independent or not, try to be perceived right. Surely, independent ladies intimidates most, if not all the guys, but wearing a humble personality will do the magic for you.

Shy-One:

I don't know - sometimes I think I am weird - I really do - more and more I think I am prejudice.  I don't want to be, but I think in my heart that I am.

I don't want to be around or befriend a female that isn't working.  I just don't.  I don't want her hand out to me because she can't or didn't get enough from her bf/husband that week, day or month.  I don't do loans.

Yes, I think you are weird too, or rather, you are too mean. You were once unemployed, didn't you have friends then.

What do you think of men who have little or no cash. Can you tolorate them?

MBG4Real:

Yes, I think you are more than weird, or rather, you are too mean. You were once unemployed, didn't you have friends then.

I completely agree with you.  I am mean - you have to be sometimes.  You cannot feed the nation by yourself.  I did use to be unemployed - I know just how hard it is - I suffered - I lost my job in 2008 and started my own business because I couldn't find work - this recession killed jobs in the U.S. and worldwide.  I cannot afford to hand my hard-earned cash over to friends who are unemployed forever or temporarily unemployed. I have a friend who doesn't want to work either even if the recession didn't exist.  I'm sorry but I have to be mean.  I don't like it either - but it is what it is.   

what OP is failing to mention is that many of these women are becoming independent and focusing on their careers because nowadays, men are not as serious anymore. many are jobless and unemployed or not even getting an education. fact: women outnumber men in schools.
you can't have both husband and wife being unemployed. at the end of the day, someone has to pay the bills. if the guy is refusing to be a man then the woman has no choice but to be independent. because otherwise who is she going to be dependent on? who is going to take care of her and her kids if she doesn't wisen up and learn to be independent?

to me, the problem lies in the fact that very few men are willing to play role women played traditionally  although many women are very willing to play the role of the traditional man. in essence there is a lack of balance.
now that women are able to play both traditional roles of man and woman, they feel that they don't need men anymore. But in truth, it is best for both to work together

trust me, many women will quit their careers tomorrow if they can find a husband who is making enough money to sustain the family.
I personally am ready to quit my schooling if I meet a sixfigure salary man tomorrow (i kid i kid but you get the idea).
otherwise, I will continue to focus on my career and aim to achieve independence. if I find a guy so be it, if not, so be it also.
I think women are adapting to this 21st century system and economy better than men are which is a shame.

hmmmmm

oohhh ok

thank you for that information

Jenifa_:

what OP is failing to mention is that many of these women are becoming independent and focusing on their careers because nowadays, men are not as serious anymore. many are jobless and unemployed or not even getting an education. fact: women outnumber men in schools.
you can't have both husband and wife being unemployed. at the end of the day, someone has to pay the bills. if the guy is refusing to be a man then the woman has no choice but to be independent. because otherwise who is she going to be dependent on? who is going to take care of her and her kids if she doesn't wisen up and learn to be independent?

to me, the problem lies in the fact that very few men are willing to play role women played traditionally although many women are very willing to play the role of the traditional man. in essence there is a lack of balance.
now that women are able to play both traditional roles of man and woman, they feel that they don't need men anymore. But in truth, it is best for both to work together

trust me, many women will quit their careers tomorrow if they can find a husband who is making enough money to sustain the family.
I personally am ready to quit my schooling if I meet a sixfigure salary man tomorrow (i kid i kid but you get the idea).
otherwise, I will continue to focus on my career and aim to achieve independence. if I find a guy so be it, if not, so be it also.
I think women are adapting to this 21st century system and economy better than men are which is a shame.

though you might be right on more woman is schools but you are forgetting one thing woman always out number men

http://www.xist.org/earth/pop_gender.aspx

but then men got most places in high jobs

Shy-One:

I completely agree with you. I am mean - you have to be sometimes. You cannot feed the nation by yourself. I did use to be unemployed - I know just how hard it is - I suffered - I lost my job in 2008 and started my own business because I couldn't find work - this recession killed jobs in the U.S. and worldwide. I cannot afford to hand my hard-earned cash over to friends who are unemployed forever or temporarily unemployed. I have a friend who doesn't want to work either even if the recession didn't exist. I'm sorry but I have to be mean. I don't like it either - but it is what it is.

I sometimes I find it difficult to shear. But it pains me when I couldn't give. Most times I see it that what I have is not enough. But I have been ment to understand that the more you give the more you receive. Anytime I was able to give I usually get it back some how. Sometimes it will take too long that I will be counting my loss. But believe me, it is better to give than to receive. So try as much as you can to be helpful to others, not to dose that have intentionally refused to help themselives. It will be well with you.

ZIM DRILL:

though you might be right on more woman is schools but you are forgetting one thing woman always out number men

http://www.xist.org/earth/pop_gender.aspx

but then men got most places in high jobs

you don't make sense. women outnumber men in the world by 0.001%
but they outnumber men in schools by up to 30%
big difference. in fact, the new affirmative action is geared toward trying to keep boys in school.especially minority boys.

men getting most places in high jobs is changing. it is a function of time before women take up most of those high places.
ex. men were overwhelmingly worst hit by the recession in the US.

Lol. Is marriage a requirement in life? With the way things are now, I don't see why anyone should run into marriage anyway, unless they fancy divorce and the 50/50 thing.

I am who I am and I change for no one. I'll continue pursuing what I want in life because I come first. If men can't handle strong women, then they clearly are the ones with problem finding wives.

ogugua88:

Lol. Is marriage a requirement in life? With the way things are now, I don't see why anyone should run into marriage anyway, unless they fancy divorce and the 50/50 thing.

I am who I am and I change for no one. I'll continue pursuing what I want in life because I come first. If men can't handle strong women, then they clearly are the ones with problem finding wives.

^^^^ Did you mean what you wrote here. If yes, then I am sorry for you. A typical Igbo lady knows what it means to be "Otonaka" Remember: Old age will turn the table against you. No one to help you boil water then.

MBG4Real:


^^^^ Did you mean what you wrote here. If yes, then I am sorry for you. A typical Igbo lady knows what it means to be "Otonaka" Remember: Old age will turn the table against you. No one to help you boil water then.

Keep your sorry ohh. Is it only men wey sabi boil water? I'm not a typical Igbo lady or typical lady for that matter. If a man is intimidated to marry me because I can take care of myself and I'm confident, then I don't want to marry him as he clearly is lacking self-confidence himself. I can actually balance, work, school, and house duties. Since when is a woman taking care of herself a crime? Double-standards at its finest.

ogugua88:

Keep your sorry ohh. Is it only men wey sabi boil water? I'm not a typical Igbo lady or typical lady for that matter. If a man is intimidated to marry me because I can take care of myself and I'm confident, then I don't want to marry him as he clearly is lacking self-confidence himself. I can actually balance, work, school, and house duties. Since when is a woman taking care of herself a crime? Double-standards at its finest.

I asumed you are Igbo 'cos of ur screen name "ogugua", and Osondi Owendi under it. As for boilling water I mean, If you are not intrested in marrage as you insinuate, there is a limit to how long you can be able to help yourself. If you don't have kids who can take care of you at old age, (boil water) then you will hate youself. ( You can adopt or get some out of wedlock, but you know how the society views such options) No offence- just thinking

MBG4Real:


I asumed you are Igbo 'cos of your screen name "ogugua", and Osondi Owendi under it. As for boilling water I mean, If you are not intrested in marrage as you insinuate, there is a limit to how long you can be able to help yourself. If you don't have kids who can take care of you at old age, (boil water) then you will hate youself. ( You can adopt or get some out of wedlock, but you know how the society views such options) No offence- just thinking

Lol. I just returned from Naija. Still high lol.

All I have to say is that people can be single and successful just as married people can be just that, married, and unsuccessful. I intimidate a lot of guys and reside in the US, where the divorce rate has surpassed 50%. I suppose that is why I've adapted such a philosophy. Being single forever doesn't scare me. I support independent women and free thinkers. At the same time, there are roles to be played. That's life really. If a woman is capable of working, cooking, and raising children with a man, I don't see why he would want to refuse her.

ogugua88:

Lol. I just returned from Naija. Still high lol.

All I have to say is that people can be single and successful just as married people can be just that, married, and unsuccessful. I intimidate a lot of guys and reside in the US, where the divorce rate has surpassed 50%. I suppose that is why I've adapted such a philosophy. Being single forever doesn't scare me. I support independent women and free thinkers. At the same time, there are roles to be played. That's life really. If a woman is capable of working, cooking, and raising children with a man, I don't see why he would want to refuse her.

I totally agee with you. But, you know, the world is skewed to the wrong side most of the time. Good news is no news. Many women, especially in Africa, are really working, cooking, and raising their children. Many of those marriages didnt start with the woman already highly placed and career focused. Many also took place years ago when the society was less polorised as it is today ( more than 50% Divorce rate) Few women, I mean very few women these days can really be career focused and be able to take care of their homes without friction with the man's position in the house. Sometimes, they try to play "the man", or force the man to concide more than what he is willing to give-in to.

If you think that you can work, cook, and raise your kids with a man without friction, that is excellent, good. You know you have not started yet. what this thread is saying is that, If you put your career too forward, many men will be unwilling to give you the chance to prove you can.

Like you said, If you are not scared of being single then that is bad. What it means is that you may not be ready to make the sacrifices that keep relationships going. Since you have a job and can take care of yourself, you wouldnt mind opting out of any relationship at the slightest provocation. Therefore, if you let men know that you are not scared of being single, they will be scared of making commitment.

I have a brother in london, when I visted him last xmas, I was taken aback by what I saw. I concluded that my brother has wasted his life these years. There was a lot of food and drinks in the kitchen but no one to prepare them. We ended up eating fast food all the time. It is either my brother or I that cooks. I saw his wife few hours each day. She leaves the house 7am and comes back 8pm because her place of work is a little far from home. Even when she is around she dosen't feel like cooking, but will be searching for what we have prepared so she can eat. If there is none she will take some snack and drink an off to sleep she goes. Her children two girls (17yrs & 20yrs) are worst, they don't even know how to prepare common nodules. My brother was in hospital for 5 days, down with kidney stone, she visited him only once or twice.

She once told she will find me a wife in Uk. I was quick to reject, binding and casting the idea at the same time. she can only find one of her kind. Too long a reply. Anyway just remain focused.

Independent woman is a very misunderstood word. I love "independent women" that are unselfish and willing to work as an equal team mate in a relationship.

It is difficult for a woman because of psychological issue, I feel as one gets successful, you have two choices get someone richer/more successful (Oprah/Bill Gates) or lower (Oprah/Steadman). Each of them comes with adaptation to make things work. Some men lack confidence and thats a totally different problem.

w

MBG4Real:

w

I'll respond you o. Not until I'm back from my last class lol.

SAGoddess:
@ OP, it's rough for women out there. . . . . .personally I can't imagine having to downplay my achievements just so I can attract a husband or make him feel secure about himself. A man that is worthy is one that will not be intimidated by his woman's achievements, if he wants to be with her, it will happen regardless. . . . .women should stop nursing shattered men's egos otherwise they have to be happy to always play second fiddle. . . . . .

not necessarily intimidated.a career oriented woman and marriage does not really fit together one have to take a backseat for the other. or eventually, both the marriage and the career will suffer