A definition of arranged marriages is, when two people are married because their parents decided that they would. However, the people the marriage is being arranged for do get a say, they get introduced to each other weeks before, it's not a blind wedding, you get to know them before hand, and also, if one of them strongly didn't like the other person, they are not forced to get married. This is where many people are mistaken: ARRANGED MARRIAGE IS NOT THE SAME AS A FORCED MARRIAGE. I think that there are mixed feelings about whether you would love someone that was chosen for you more than if you chose them yourself. The disadvantages of arranged marriages are: you don't really know your husband/wife; you probably will take a while to get relaxed around them, but it is believed that love comes after marriage. This is because the parents choose the husband/wife on horoscopes, their background, how they were raised, etc. and they pick people who are very similar, have very similar backgrounds and who are likely to get on well.

Advantages of Arranged Marriages:

1. Risk of incompatibility is diminished
2. Idea of divorcing is unthinkable
3. Extended family support has its benefits

Disadvantages of Arranged Marriages

1. Inability to make up one’s own mind
2. Love takes second priority
3. Interference from extended family

i think alot of guys here misunderstand the essence of the question concerning the advantages and disadvantages of an arranged marriage. There is a mix up between FORCED MARRIAGE and ARRANGED MARRIAGE here!! Alot of guys are instead giving the advantages of an aranged marriage and the disadvantages of a forced marriage. u get my drift?? Here is the difference as i myself i am some what undergoing the process of a arranged marriage right now. i somehow coerced my aunt and ucle to check out a good, God fearing family and choose a God fearing gal for me 2 marry, as i trust their judgement more in these matters. I have got about 3 families and 3 girls lined up, to checkup i the coming months (lucky me i had say)!!you see? if i dot like the girls, i move to the next family. no one is forcig or coercing me!!
alternatively, a forced marriage is where you force a guy or a girl to marry some one they dont know or love, or even care less about. Those of you who have lived in london for sometime will understad where am coming from, as you see sexy beautiful pakistani british gilrs being murdered by their bros or fathers for not marryig their cousins or whom ever their parents have chosen for them as a partner. what the children want counts for nothing!! ladies and gents, now that the clarificatios have been made, could we now answer the question again. and forgo the juxtapositioning of arranged and forced marriages?? cheers mate

tunene:

May be I am missing something here. You said the ethnic group with the most cases of arranged marriages have the highest divorce rate in Naija, may be you are talking of a different naija. The ethnic group with the highest cases of arranged marriage is the huasa-Fulani, the highest divorce rate goes to the Yorubas. Hausa women are generally known for endurance, they stick to their husbands, no matter what, even when the religion liberalises the man to marry 4 (which is reducing these days for obvious reasons). In yoruba, any small wahala, the husband either sends the wife packing or she packs her things herself. If it is not settled on time, that would be another divorce case.

No you are wrong here, Hausa have the highest rate of divorce in Nigeria, people just dont talk about it. Divorce is no big deal to an average northerner, maybe its cos its so easy to divorce the wives or its cos after all the marraige is most times arranged or even forced (usually on the girls) and their is most likely no love amongst the couple. And divorce is not always about a woman not enduring whatever shitty stuff she's served, abi dont you think the husbands also have a part in it. Please come over to the north and see!

@Wumine's quite right. I read somewhere in some parts of the north Katsina and Kano, women average 6 marriages in their life time. My Great Grand Aunt had 8 husbands before she died, I should mention though that by the time she was 80 years old the two last husbands died on her. Consistent with reports

She was very happy each time she got married (complete with girlie giggles), So I don't think endurance was really a problem; commitment was more the issue.



More info if curious on the subject:

(http://books.google.com.ng/books?id=G_txJsW-ookC&pg=PA45&lpg=PA45&dq=divorce+rates+hausa+women&source=bl&ots=RiYuOKoe6Y&sig=HX269c_YaORQFEVTYWLRJoJoOHQ&hl=en&ei=6k1MTfHeJI6VswbH48CpDw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=8&ved=0CFIQ6AEwBw#v=onepage&q=divorce%20rates%20hausa%20women&f=false)

tunene:

May be I am missing something here. You said the ethnic group with the most cases of arranged marriages have the highest divorce rate in Naija, may be you are talking of a different naija. The ethnic group with the highest cases of arranged marriage is the huasa-Fulani, the highest divorce rate goes to the Yorubas. Hausa women are generally known for endurance, they stick to their husbands, no matter what, even when the religion liberalises the man to marry 4 (which is reducing these days for obvious reasons). In yoruba, any small wahala, the husband either sends the wife packing or she packs her things herself. If it is not settled on time, that would be another divorce case.

Anyway, arranged marriages are still done in several places around the world even in Naija, a friend got married to an arrangee recently, though both of them are from very wealthy homes and they had enough time to meet and know each other. Arranged marriages can still work afterall nobody is forcing you to marry. Modern day style is to reccomend, you do further research.

God bless you jare- I was begining to wonder where she got her own statistics from!
tribes that practice arranged marriages have a close to 0% divorce rate- they have happier marriages that last longer.

interesting thread.

in the north, its quite easy to get divorced from your wife by just saying 'i divorce you' three times, its done! a man can insists the lady goes, but i think arranged marriage is good, remember that most of our parents had their marriages arranged and they stuck together, and besides its not by force, u actually are allowed to refuse.

even if it u found your partner by yourself, the challenges are the same, the issues are still between both of you, the butterflies in the stomach will definitely die someday which ever way you found the person

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^the advantage is you are with your own^^^^^^^^^^^^

fenandopo: i think alot of guys here misunderstand the essence of the question concerning the advantages and disadvantages of an arranged marriage. There is a mix up between FORCED MARRIAGE and ARRANGED MARRIAGE here!! Alot of guys are instead giving the advantages of an aranged marriage and the disadvantages of a forced marriage. u get my drift?? Here is the difference as i myself i am some what undergoing the process of a arranged marriage right now. i somehow coerced my aunt and ucle to check out a good, God fearing family and choose a God fearing gal for me 2 marry, as i trust their judgement more in these matters. I have got about 3 families and 3 girls lined up, to checkup i the coming months (lucky me i had say)!!you see? if i dot like the girls, i move to the next family. no one is forcig or coercing me!!

alternatively, a forced marriage is where you force a guy or a girl to marry some one they dont know or love, or even care less about. ladies and gents, now that the clarificatios have been made, could we now answer the question again. and forgo the juxtapositioning of arranged and forced marriages?? cheers mate

true about the distinction.

dayokanu:
Indians still do the arranged marriage stuff and have a lower divorce than most ethnicities

i read a lot of Indian blogs, and to be honest, their young people are unhappy.the reason why marriages are arranged in India includes:
1. caste system: parents don't want their children to marry from a lower caste in other to save face
2. Indians believe that you should put the happiness of your nuclear and extended family before your own,it doesn't matter who you love, just marry their choice for you.
3. you will be ostracized if you get a divorce, so even if your partner is abusive, you have to stay put.
lets not be deceived by their "lower divorce rates" abeg

Na wah

I know someone that got married this year through arranged wedding, she is still fuvking her ex.

I believed people should meet each other and date for a while to know whether they are compatible or not.

Those of you shouting love mind love is not important when choosing a spouse there are more important things to look out for.Things such as empathy, integrity, is the person hardworking, respect,loyalty,chemistry between you two,medical history, the families involved among others. Arranged marriages have many advantages in the sense that older people with their level of experience are in a better position to seeing "marriage materials" than younger ones who goes into marriage with the illusion called love.

It's not only in rural areas there are arranged marriages, even high profile families are involved.

Chikita66:
I know someone that got married this year through arranged wedding, she is still fuvking her ex.

I believed people should meet each other and date for a while to know whether they are compatible or not.

even people who dont get married through arranged marriage.. Are still shagging their ex..a cheat is a cheat!!!!!