fake story ,

tripplephi:


1) find the root cause of the problem.... he may have other deep issues that you have not cared to consider and his only escape is alcohol

2) be very prayerful (so he does not loose his life in such debauchery, and also so he changes his bad association or friends)

3) you both need COUNSELING.... a happy home will not be like this.... obviously he does not COMMUNICATE with you, he only TALKS TO YOU. So you are not his confidant.

4) MAKE THE FIRST MOVE, talk with him and let him open up to you... it won't be easy but it would help

5) HONOR AND RESPECT HIM, no matter what happens, do not loose respect for your man, he is all you've got

6) PROTECT his image the best way you can, and you can also ask his family for help.

7) Read Books, Blogs and attend conferences on FAMILY, HOME, RELATIONSHIPS


Heed these 7 instructions and things will begin to change

You mean church COUNSELING?

Man Like These Still Exist.........

When he get really drunk, conive with the mortuary take him there, when he wakes up with hangover tell him he got so drunk and died..its a miracle God gave himself second chance....afterwards na him go advice himself

MhisTahrah:
I have never seen any of your posts actually make sense.

You are a real Demon.......

You are one of them thinking that God does not exist.

IamD18:
If only people will leave sex, cheating and money to focus on important things during courting, we won't have people in miserable marriages or high rate of divorce.

Anger management, personalities, addictions, abuse, level of mutual understanding, friendship, goals, genotype, differences, family background and histories are very very underrated in relationships these day.

Sex, money, birthday, hanging out, cruise, sexchat, cooking and gifts are the only things existing in 99.742% of relationships in Nigeria.

I swear ,I think I will have to curb out some important notes from this your write up as my status

Righteousness89:
Launch yourself Fully into God ...
Stand in Gap for your Home and Husband In Prayers.
At midnight call call on the GOD of Heaven
Prayers Changes things..
When He sees a New you, that Could Just be the Tonic..

I don't get, what is the practical advice here? As beautiful as prayer is, I think she needs something practical to complete the faith and work equation. And the idea that she's got to renew herself when the issue here isn't her but the husband is really unsettling. When shall we stop reconfiguring women to solve men's issues? A man cheats, the woman is asked to cook well. A man rapes, the woman is asked to dress well. Now, a man is an alky and the woman is being asked renew herself. We need to start taking responsibility for our actions, pastor. Just saying.

hmm, I was once in this situation but not to the extent of bed-wetting, my sister you're the only one that can change him, mine started when the company I was working with folded up and couldn't get another job because of my age, though not too old but Nigeria company hardly employ above 40yrs i was so frustrated and became a drunkard and my wife did not help matters the more she's hostile the more I drink I was so depressed the more she reports me to my family the more I drink and what I always tell people is that she's the only one that can make me change, if you talk to him and show him love I bet you he not only change you will know why he behaves like that, men will like to be respected pray over it and God will take control, today I hardly go out talkless of drinking my health is sound now compared to then let him know the implications on his health, I changed because my wife shows love and i don't want to hurt her. nothing is impossible for God.

IamD18:
If only people will leave sex, cheating and money to focus on important things during courting, we won't have people in miserable marriages or high rate of divorce.

Anger management, personalities, addictions, abuse, level of mutual understanding, friendship, goals, genotype, differences, family background and histories are very very underrated in relationships these day.

Sex, money, birthday, hanging out, cruise, sexchat, cooking and gifts are the only things existing in 99.742% of relationships in Nigeria.

Well said

virtuouswoman77:
Pls how do I handle this problem of hubby that does not have self control when it comes to alcohol?

He drinks too much and sometimes messes the bed up with urine.

I have talked to him still no change pls I need practice solutions that will make him stop because he is the type that doesn't take things serious unless it gets to him and this his behavior is making me regret my marriage to him.

So you're telling me that during courtship, you had no inclination that your husband is a chronic alcoholic? Or perhaps you had an arranged marriage and you did not get to really know the man you were getting married to.

I can just imagine how your matrimonial bedroom will be strongly stinking of urine and your matress will have multiple maps formed by the urine. How can you be married to an adult bed wetter?

You better take your husband for counseling because this is so shameful.

You see why I say that many Nigerian married women are slaves in their marriages? No wonder some of you try to cause your fellow Nigerian women who are single grief. It is because many of you Nigerian married women are in marital hell fire on earth and are desperately seeking single women to join your league because as you know misery loves company.

All the best!

You are blessed with lots of sense this girl, I give ur opinion 90% on point, cos you have just said it all..

IamD18:
If only people will leave sex, cheating and money to focus on important things during courting, we won't have people in miserable marriages or high rate of divorce.

Anger management, personalities, addictions, abuse, level of mutual understanding, friendship, goals, genotype, differences, family background and histories are very very underrated in relationships these day.

Sex, money, birthday, hanging out, cruise, sexchat, cooking and gifts are the only things existing in 99.742% of relationships in Nigeria.

Righteousness89:
Launch yourself Fully into God ...
Stand in Gap for your Home and Husband In Prayers.
At midnight call call on the GOD of Heaven
Prayers Changes things..
When He sees a New you, that Could Just be the Tonic..

U have said it all

if he's not violent during his drunkenness then all you need is to be very very patient with him and continue to intercede for him in prayers make he no go drink away his mansion..!! this is so embarrassing and stressful for you, but God is with you ma'am �

I just dey vex for here. Why can't people abandon alcoholic drinks. Not like they are sweet as I heard. The kind evil this thing dey cause is sickening.

IamD18:
If only people will leave sex, cheating and money to focus on important things during courting, we won't have people in miserable marriages or high rate of divorce.

Anger management, personalities, addictions, abuse, level of mutual understanding, friendship, goals, genotype, differences, family background and histories are very very underrated in relationships these day.

Sex, money, birthday, hanging out, cruise, sexchat, cooking and gifts are the only things existing in 99.742% of relationships in Nigeria.

Madam you have added O value to op's predicament. Start another thread with your subject if that's what you want to do

Does he see his act the next day?

Madam!
TELL HIM ''HONEY, WITH ALL DUE RESPECT YOU FOR THE LOVE YOU HAVE FOR HIM YOU WILL TAKE A WALK''

That let it be heard that your wife walked out of the marriage because of her husband's lack of self control!

Start by sleeping separately whenever he comes home drunk. And STOP CLEANING HIS SHIT!

I pray and hope you have a job or business you are doing.
If NOT SEE IT AS A CROSS YOU HAVE TO CARRY and carry it wella.

lilmax:
Start cheating, coming home late, stop cooking


Just lose yourself and see your husband start focusing again

Your husband lacks self control because you tolerate it


My opinion

I know u just joking....right, that route leads to no where meaningful . Your advice was based on too much of Nollywood.

virtuouswoman77:
Pls how do I handle this problem of hubby that does not have self control when it comes to alcohol?

He drinks too much and sometimes messes the bed up with urine.

I have talked to him still no change pls I need practice solutions that will make him stop because he is the type that doesn't take things serious unless it gets to him and this his behavior is making me regret my marriage to him.

For the urine problem : He should stop taking any liquid ( water or Alcohol ) before going to bed.

You see how senseless you are.

When it's man misbehaving you dimwits find a way to turn it around and blame the woman for his illicit lifestyle even when his waywardness preceeds their relationship.

Also, if he's depressed, is he the only one in the world that's depressed? Don't women get depressed too? How many women do you see being depressed, drinking and wetting the beds?

If it was a woman, your type would've called her unprintable words and asked the man to divorce her, but since it's a grown up 39 y/o man, we must blame his wife, invite a pity party and pray and fast for him.

UDUJ:
Did he just start drinking alcohol or this has been happening for a longtime now? Majority of times when a man is depressed he turns to alcohol.

Do you know the source of his depression? Is it lack of finance, being out of a job or are you also contributing through constant nagging and belittling the man? Give us honest answers if you need our help.

Ishilove:

Yes, putting God first in everything is the way to go, BUT He will not come down from His throne to solve our problems for us. That is why he gave us brains to carry out his will. The OP needs PRACTICAL solutions in addition to prayers.

prayer is always the start to every solution

Parisian:
You see how senseless you are.

When it's man misbehaving you dimwits find a way to turn it around and blame the woman for his illicit lifestyle even when his waywardness proceeds their relationship.

Also, if he's depressed, is he the only one in the world that's depressed? Don't women get depressed too? How many women do you see being depressed, drinking and wetting the beds?

If it was a woman, your type would've called her unprintable words and asked the man to divorce her, but since it's a grown up 39 y/o man, we must blame his wife, invite a pity party and pray and fast for him.

Since you are so dumb and daft and can only use insults to engage in meaningful conversations, then your primitive types are better ignored. Further mentions will receive no response.

IamD18:
If only people will leave sex, cheating and money to focus on important things during courting, we won't have people in miserable marriages or high rate of divorce.

Anger management, personalities, addictions, abuse, level of mutual understanding, friendship, goals, genotype, differences, family background and histories are very very underrated in relationships these day.

Sex, money, birthday, hanging out, cruise, sexchat, cooking and gifts are the only things existing in 99.742% of relationships in Nigeria.

So many likes for this almost idiotic reply, what is the relationship between this rubbish u wrote and the advice the lady asked for , how is this no brainy sanctimonious crap going to help her, so u assume the lady married him for sex or money , what ever happened to seeking help or any kind of treatment for alcohol addiction and see the number of ppl that think tru their ass that like the rubbish u wrote , small wonder u are a shit hole country

IamD18:
If only people will leave sex, cheating and money to focus on important things during courting, we won't have people in miserable marriages or high rate of divorce.

Anger management, personalities, addictions, abuse, level of mutual understanding, friendship, goals, genotype, differences, family background and histories are very very underrated in relationships these day.

Sex, money, birthday, hanging out, cruise, sexchat, cooking and gifts are the only things existing in 99.742% of relationships in Nigeria.

Legend u are

virtuouswoman77:
Pls how do I handle this problem of hubby that does not have self control when it comes to alcohol?

He drinks too much and sometimes messes the bed up with urine.

I have talked to him still no change pls I need practice solutions that will make him stop because he is the type that doesn't take things serious unless it gets to him and this his behavior is making me regret my marriage to him.

Your husband must be very loaded for a typical 21st century Nigerian wife to only be regretting being married to a "messy" husband and discussing ways to help him instead of the default "divorce him" instinct. May God assist you in your quest for his rehab.

UDUJ:
Did he just start drinking alcohol or this has been happening for a longtime now? Majority of times when a man is depressed he turns to alcohol.

Do you know the source of his depression? Is it lack of finance, being out of a job or are you also contributing through constant nagging and belittling the man? Give us honest answers if you need our help.

You asked a very Important question that needs to be answered.

There are so many things that can trigger a man to change behavior.

Ishilove:

Oh please. Stop being a Pharisee. When someone points out the obvious to you, you begin to foam at the mouth. Abegi. I will quote you OVER and OVER again as I deem fit, within the ambit of Nairaland laws so get used to it.

You are not the only Christian on this forum so shut it abeg. 'Devil begin to make use of me' indeed. Fanatic.

Ishi, abeg easy
I noticed u correct those that preach more than necessary, not only righteousness 89 alone,

But please correct in a lovely way as your name depicts, please.

Peace.

By the way, I love Matilda and Gift

lilmax:
what advice would you give her?


She should pray, take care of a man who lacks self control?



She doesn't have herself to take care of?

Is the man a baby?

i tire my brother.

he wasnt doing this before getting married to him?or u were blinded with money!nawa for una!!

virtuouswoman77:
Pls how do I handle this problem of hubby that does not have self control when it comes to alcohol?

He drinks too much and sometimes messes the bed up with urine.

I have talked to him still no change pls I need practice solutions that will make him stop because he is the type that doesn't take things serious unless it gets to him and this his behavior is making me regret my marriage to him.

Bae the truth is u knew about his slushed lifestyle before u married him. But as they say " Love is blind, marriage na eye opener".

He's phlegmatic, and i pray it doesnt degenerate to physical abuse. well its ur cross and the only way out is to find those he respects or listen to, like his father to wade in or u stylishly invite his mother to come visit even for a day.

Seriously i salute ur courage and patience, cos the present 9ja babe would hv checked out or filed for divorce. He's lucky to hv u.