Pweety4me:

_{^^Dayumm girl! ever found love?no offeinse}


@Poster u need to really GROW UP!!

your idea is simply, pityful & lacks proper structure, to each his own if your woman is fine with that so be it, but if your just scared of life long commitment then u need to really work on urself first!

sauer:

u get me totally wrong. By 'lifelong commitment' I am guessing u mean 'marriage'. but that's only too narrow. Lifelong commitment has never been a problem, really. I have so many other things am committed to and I'm pretty sure it'll be lifelong. I'm only wondering if I can do without just this one, and if that's normal at all. A number of people are sure successful with it (see my examples above). I was also wondering if other people get the same ideas. no offeinse

Lol

So tell me why don't you want to get married? and how long ave u had this idea of urs in mind?

Pweety4me:

Lol

So tell me why don't you want to get married? and how long ave u had this idea of urs in mind?

sauer:

How long? Pretty much since I could think at all! It's not the 'marriage' actually. I can afford it. But the fact that it's just too traditional and pedestrian. The whole party/celebration thing for one is almost nauseating whenever I think of it. Why celebration!? Then the r(ear)aising children together thing. Then the routine life that follows is pathetic, sortof.
Then again, I am only crazy about women who are strong achievers, like condolezza rice or merkel or marie curie (yea, i know she got married, but she did live d larger part of her life alone), or deBeauvoir. Generally, i take serious interest whenever I read/see a determined and successful/intelligent single woman. So maybe these are the types am attracted to. Maybe.
Finally, the thought of living for my work and having a companion who's also living for her work is actually more pleasant to me. 

Pweety4me:

I think maybe you don't trust yourself, or perhaps u don't trust the future? or maybe it could be even the womaen that u don't trust!

sauer:

That hasn't even occurred to me. But I'm not in a therapy session with you now, or am i? You are wrong. I do trust people, women too. I earnestly look forward to the future, whatever it holds. I think maybe I respect women too much to want to play games with them.

Ahaaaaaa! that is it, your scared of commitment ok, your conscious/unconscious fear is that u may cheat on her so u in order to avoid or be able to do that without there being any lethal implications, you want to hide away from any major ties , that could lead into great distruction, plainly your scared of the marriage institution!

I am CORRECT my dear

slymm:

@op, almost everyone in this country will tell you to explain yourself, or eventually believe there is something wrong with you. I am sure you have the time to explain to them, so continue doing so. Just understand that no explanation you give will ever be enough. Listen to your heart, its your life, and you should do exactly as you please as long as you are hurting no one. Believe it or not, i know women who feel exactly as you do. I for one, wishes i coulld

Pweety4me:

Ahaaaaaa! that is it, your scared of commitment ok, your conscious/unconscious fear is that u may cheat on her so u in order to avoid or be able to do that without there being any lethal implications, you want to hide away from any major ties , that could lead into great distruction, plainly your scared of the marriage institution!  

I am CORRECT my dear

sauer:

I have actually been reading Pweety's comments on nairaland and didn't know you can be this penetrating. YOu studied psychology or wat? or are you just skilled at drawing attention to the invisible in other's replies? The marriage insitution does not scare me; it disgusts me. It's too mundane, too routine, too clearly defined for a world that revels in ambiguity. I should be committed to this woman in the end, but won't consider marriage. A number of nigerian girls will never understand this though.

Lol my dear i'm just being dramatic, and psychology has nothing on me!

[s]_{I don't wish to get married either (not complety but had my own thoughts sha), i know what you mean but culture & nature being that i am woman has not given me an optionnn}   [/s]

But seriously, u need to really search within your heart & mind find what you want, there is nothing wrong with you naturally but there could be some things wrong mentally that u have not come to realise, search within your soul very well. . .and speak to those that KNOW you best i think that will help also keep a close relationship with GOD!.

U still really young?

Pweety4me:

Lol my dear i'm just being dramatic, and psychology has nothing on me!

[s]_{I don't wish to get married either (not complety but had my own thoughts sha), i know what you mean but culture & nature being that i am woman has not given me an optionnn}   [/s]

But seriously, u need to really search within your heart & mind find what you want, there is nothing wrong with you naturally but there could be some things wrong mentally that u have not come to realise, search within your soul very well. . .and speak to those that KNOW you best i think that will help also keep a close relationship with GOD!.

U still really young?

Natasha,,:

@sauer you got every thing all wrong you want to place marriage as at what others are saying it is you can always make a difference because people think marriage is cumbersome doesn't mean yours will be like  that  don''t be a pessimist

Pweety4me:

^^^Brother unquote & requote me again, i edited my post!


By the way about the girl?i do not get it?u said she didn't want to get married so what idea did she not agree with?


& early 20's is young my dear, it is YOUNG!

sauer:

okay. how old are you? I only know older people call younger people young.
We spent time together then. She did say she didn't think much of marriage. Wont marry. And all the likes. I guess she changed her mind. Now I realise her earlier decision was only because she had suffered much in a past relationship.
I should have know. The women who dont think much of marriage are those so absorbed in their careers/work to think much of marriage _{(I kinda like that, at the risk of repeating myself)}.

Pweety4me:

Are you trying 2 worry me?WHAT ABOUT YOU?ARE YOU NOT MOTIVATED TO MAKE MONEY FOR URSELF?A CAREER?u need to stop this gloomy fascination with 'independant', 'work driven' women abeg ooo, na dem u want chop?where do u fit into the picture?or u want to be a play/boy or slave for them?talk something i dey hear!

_{My age is insignificant my deary}

Natasha,,:

@saur getting married doesn't and wouldn't change anything trust me it all depends on how you want to plan your future I for one i'm a very ambitious person so definitly I want to get married to someone who is equally ambitious as I am. You love a girl and want to be with her then all of a sudden if you get married things would change how? fine you would have children but why don't you just view marriage as a legal and spiritual right one does to have their partner  think of it as just a way to show the world you have chosen your wife or huzzy and then every thing will still fall into place

sauer:

I know a lot of women whose ambitions died naturally with their marriage

sauer:

na u sabi really . Am not sorry am fascinated with 'work-driven, independent' women. Yes, na dem i wan chop really.

Natasha,,:

that doesn't mean mine or yours will die if we get married stop placing your own life on other peoples foundation always believe the fact that you are different for the fact that it happened to mr A doesn't mean it will happen to you

Pweety4me:

Dem money?


Dis guy no make me call u dat word o. . .

sauer:


of course not. Am not interested in dem money. only in worthy companionship.
For 'dat word' you have no need to

sauer:

You do have a point. But the world will offer you bright hope only to cloud it with doubt and uncertainty. That arrangement is just what am much more comfortable with. What if you cant find a man equally ambitious? or sympathetic to your ideas? Will you go it alone? or does anything indicate you must find such person?