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The Computer-doctor - Jokes Etc (4) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / The Computer-doctor (11305 Views)

After The Computer Age, What's Next? / The Computer Argument. / Jesus Vs Satan On The Computer - Too Funny: Must Read (2) (3) (4)

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Re: The Computer-doctor by ElementG(m): 6:10pm On May 21, 2011
u got dat wink wink wink
Re: The Computer-doctor by yinkalink(f): 6:11pm On May 21, 2011
Kk
Re: The Computer-doctor by ElementG(m): 6:12pm On May 21, 2011
k i just sent it, check
Re: The Computer-doctor by yinkalink(f): 6:23pm On May 21, 2011
Just checked ,didnt c it
Re: The Computer-doctor by ElementG(m): 6:37pm On May 21, 2011
dats weird, i will keep trying grin grin grin
Re: The Computer-doctor by yinkalink(f): 7:00pm On May 21, 2011
Yea, checked thrice already

Or r u on nimbuzz?
Re: The Computer-doctor by ElementG(m): 7:05pm On May 21, 2011
yep i am wink wink
Re: The Computer-doctor by yinkalink(f): 7:09pm On May 21, 2011
Search for prettycoolnerd

My my,i do seem to b revealin a lot 2nyt
Re: The Computer-doctor by ElementG(m): 7:10pm On May 21, 2011
if it wasnt worth it, u wouldnt be, but dont forget to edit them sha wink wink cheesy cheesy cheesy
Re: The Computer-doctor by yinkalink(f): 7:13pm On May 21, 2011
Yea, s‘pose so
Re: The Computer-doctor by ElementG(m): 7:15pm On May 21, 2011
u at home or at work?
Re: The Computer-doctor by yinkalink(f): 7:18pm On May 21, 2011
@ work ke

Am home jare
Re: The Computer-doctor by ElementG(m): 7:21pm On May 21, 2011
no wonder u dey soo relaxed cool cool cool
Re: The Computer-doctor by yinkalink(f): 7:29pm On May 21, 2011
Abi oh
Dey wan kill me?
Do u know d no of hours i work daily during d week?
Re: The Computer-doctor by ElementG(m): 7:32pm On May 21, 2011
na true u talk my sister smiley smiley smiley
Re: The Computer-doctor by yinkalink(f): 7:37pm On May 21, 2011
Yea

Just added u

Lets go nimbuzzing jo
Re: The Computer-doctor by ElementG(m): 7:39pm On May 21, 2011
k am coming cheesy cheesy
Re: The Computer-doctor by yinkalink(f): 7:40pm On May 21, 2011
Kk
Al b waiting or u shld wait de ni. I dont know jo
Re: The Computer-doctor by ElementG(m): 7:43pm On May 21, 2011
lol, my nimbuzz self dey mess up, i no know y d head dey slow grin grin
Re: The Computer-doctor by Nobody: 12:37pm On May 22, 2011
Nice jokes dearie, gr8t influx of the seen n unseen ones. . Doin bera dan ur honey-pie. embarassed
Re: The Computer-doctor by yinkalink(f): 12:54pm On May 22, 2011
Thanks hun
Re: The Computer-doctor by ElementG(m): 4:57pm On May 22, 2011
hmm oga ooo, love tinwa tinwa for nland


EL!!!! I GO TELL UR WIFE!!! grin grin grin grin
Re: The Computer-doctor by yinkalink(f): 8:13am On May 23, 2011
Charlie was in a bar and three babes came up and started hitting on
him. He asked if they
wanted to come over to his house later. They agreed to come over at
after they went home
and got ready. Charlie had a friend who worked in a drugstore, so he
went to see him. He
asked his friend if he had anything that would keep him hard all night
long. The man
laughed and handed him a bottle of pills instructing him not to take
more than one. Once at
home, Charlie figured with three women he should take three pills, so
he gulped them
down. The next day Charlie showed up at the drugstore to see his
friend. Asking for some
liniment, he showed him his dick which was ripped to shreds. In
disbelief, his friend asked
if he was sure that he wanted to put liniment on his dick. Charlie
replied "No,I need it for
my arms the women never showed up!"

element, which wan b ur own? olofofo
Re: The Computer-doctor by yinkalink(f): 8:15am On May 23, 2011
What is the definition of ultimate rejection?

Your hand falling asleep while masturbating.


There was this boy in high school that was what you would
consider a nerd. Anyway he had his own lab in the basement
of his home and one night he came up and said "Dad look
what I made." So he poured a flask of fluid into a pot of
soil and instantly grass started to grow.

Of course his dad was really impressed with this and asked
his son if he can make something to make his penis grow.

His son thought for a minute and said that if he did then
dad would have to buy him a convertable.

Dad agreed.

The next night the son came out of the basement and gave his
dad a vial. The next morning his father came to him and told
him that he had something to show him. They went to the front
yard and the boy saw a cherry red ferrari.

The son looked at his dad and said "I only asked for a convertable."

The dad replied "the convertable is in the garage. The Ferrari is
from your mother."


grin grin grin
Re: The Computer-doctor by yinkalink(f): 8:25am On May 23, 2011
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.
After the check-up, the doctor took the wife aside and
said, "If you don't do the following, your husband will
surely die".

1.Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast and send
him off to work in a good mood.

2.At lunch time, make him a warm, nutritious meal and
put him in a good frame of mind before he goes back
to work.

3.For dinner, fix an especially nice meal, and don't
burden him with household chores.

4.Have sex with him several times a week and satisfy
his every whim.

On the way home, the husband asked his wife what the doctor
had told her.

"You're going to die," she replied.

grin grin
The Perfect Worker

1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
2 hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without
3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
5 finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended
6 measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
7 breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
8 vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
9 knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
10 classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which cannot be
11 dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
12 promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
13 executed as soon as possible.

Addendum:

That idiot was standing over my shoulder while I wrote the report
sent to you earlier today. Kindly re-read only the odd numbered
lines.
Re: The Computer-doctor by yinkalink(f): 8:26am On May 23, 2011
A guy is screwing a great looking blonde.
The girl asks, "You haven't got AIDS have you?"
He replies, "No."
She responds, "Oh, thank heavens for that!!
I don't want to get that again, !"


cant stop laughing @ dis wan
Re: The Computer-doctor by yinkalink(f): 8:34am On May 23, 2011
One day, a young cowboy and a cowgirl decided to get married.
He was a man of the world and she was an innocent bride with
no experience.
On the first night of their honeymoon the couple washed up
and started to get ready for bed. When they get into bed,
they start exploring each other's bodies.
Things are going fine until the bride discovers her
husband's penis. "Oh my", she says, "What is that?"
"Well, darlin", the cowboy says, "That's ma rope".
\She slides her hands further down and gasps.
"Oh my goodness. What's them?" she asks.
"Honey, them's my knots", he answers.
Finally, the couple begin to make love. After several minutes,
the bride says, "Stop honey. Wait a minute".
Her husband, panting a little, asks, "What's the matter honey?
Am I hurting you?"
"No", the bride replies. "Just undo them damn knots.
I need more rope!"


hehehehehehehehehe
Re: The Computer-doctor by distinkt1(m): 2:45pm On May 23, 2011
Bob iz soo dead!lwkm.funny izh
Re: The Computer-doctor by yinkalink(f): 5:03pm On May 23, 2011
thanks dear
Re: The Computer-doctor by dreday(m): 9:46pm On May 23, 2011
yinkalink and elementG are tweeping for demselves. Good 2 see some NL romance, grin
Mnwyl,yinkalink,u wee not kee someborri with dz your jokes oo
Re: The Computer-doctor by yinkalink(f): 4:42am On May 24, 2011
Ahan oh,dey r not tweepin oh.me,i v love,he,he has loves.
Abeg oh,no let dose sumo wrestler gals cum beat me for house o
Re: The Computer-doctor by yinkalink(f): 8:05am On May 24, 2011
this wan long small, but its good

wink wink wink
Voodoo Dick There was this businessman who was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort, so he thought he'd try to get her something to keep her occupied while he was gone, because he didn't much like the idea of her screwing someone else. So he went to a store that sold intimacy gadgets and started looking around. He thought about a life-sized sex doll, but that was too close to another man for him. He was browsing through the dildos, looking for something special to please his wife, and started talking to the old man behind the counter. He explained his situation. The old man said, "Well, I don't really know of anything that will do the trick. We have vibrating dildos, special attachments, and so on, but I don't know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks, except -- " and he stopped. "Except what?" the man asked. "Nothing,nothing." "C'mon, tell me! I need something!" "Well, sir, I don't usually mention this, but there is the 'voodoodick.'" "So what's up with this voodoo dick?" he asked. The old man reached under the counter, and pulled out an old wooden box, carved with strange symbols. He opened it, and there lay a very ordinary-looking Love Machine. The businessman laughed, and said "Big fucking deal. It looks like every other Love Machine in this shop!" The old man replied, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet." He pointed to a door and said "Voodoo dick, the door." The voodoo dick rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started screwing the keyhole. The whole door shook with the vibrations, and a crack developed down the middle. Before the door could split, the old man said "Voodoo dick, get back in your box!" The voodoo dick stopped, floated back to the box and lay there quiescent once more. "I'll take it!" said the businessman. The old man resisted, saying it wasn't for sale, but he finally surrendered to $700 in cash. The guy took it home to his wife, told her it was a special Love Machine and that to use it, all she had to do was say "Voodoo dick, my pussy." He left for his trip satisfied that things would be fine while he wasgone. After he'd been gone a few days, the wife was unbearably Hot. She thought of several people who would willingly satisfy her, but then she remembered the voodoo dick. She got it out, and said "Voodoo dick, my pussy!" The voodoo dick shot to her crotch and started pumping. It was great, like nothing she'd ever experienced before.After three orgasms, she decided she'd had enough, and tried to pull it out, but it was stuck in her, still thrusting. She tried and tried to get it out, but nothing worked. Her husband had forgot to tell her how toshut it off. So she decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help. She put her clothes on, got in the car and started to drive to the hospital, quivering with every thrust of the Love Machine. On the way, another orgasm nearly made her swerve off the road, and she was pulled over by a policeman. He asked for her license, and then asked how much she'd had to drink. Gasping and twitching, she explained that she hadn't been drinking, but that a voodoo dick was stuck in her pussy, and wouldn't stop screwing. The officer looked at her for a second, and then said "Yea, right, Voodoo dick, my ass!"

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