Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,152,153 members, 7,815,024 topics. Date: Thursday, 02 May 2024 at 05:18 AM

What Are Some Of The Issues To Be Discussed During Courtship ? - Romance (4) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / What Are Some Of The Issues To Be Discussed During Courtship ? (29277 Views)

6 Topics To Be Discussed Before You Get Married / Ladies, Your Man Slapped You During Courtship: Will You Go On? / Issues To Discuss With Your Partner Before Marriage (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: What Are Some Of The Issues To Be Discussed During Courtship ? by cooldood(m): 8:15am On Jun 19, 2017
soberdrunk:
This is why "divorce" is so high nowadays, people have turned "relationships" to 'social project' where you scrutinize, analyze, strategize, some even have "requirements" and "qualifications' as if you are applying for a job. I am not saying there is anything wrong in looking out for certain traits in your partner but when you put 'requirements' before love it wont end well, a lot of ladies have pushed aside the guys they truly love for the guy the fits the profile of the 'ideal guy' and they finally end up in unhappy homes. To answer your question, no matter how much or how long you discuss issues during courtship, new issues and new challenges will always come up, the major issue you should be worried about is whether you are at least "95%" certain deep down that you are 'absolutely' in love with your partner not just 'physically' but spiritually, psychologically, emotionally, intellectually and any other 'ly' that will last 'forever'(or at least the next 30-50 years because the life expectancy in Nigeria is now50-60 ish), if you are certain about this then any other issue or challenge, no matter how big will be a 'piece of cake'......... angry

Oga there's nothing like certainty in this or that when it comes with dealings with human and particularly marriage. Simply cos people could change in future due to many reasons e.g new knowledge, etc. And you mentioned emotionally,physically and all the other..lly, but is that not the essence of trying to understand the potential suitor through some checklist as stated in people's responses,before taking the decision.

Let me give you a practical example: If you married someone who used to profess a certain religion and later in life changes religion,does it mean"your so called certainty" goes into the air? Mohammed Ali changed religion,Mike Tyson, etc.

For me,marriage is forever a work in progress for both guy n babe who must not sit tight and believe once married it's over,your spouse is going nowhere,biggest fallacy. Work has just started for both man n woman in regularly watering"the flower" forever, if not yawa fi gaz o in future.
Re: What Are Some Of The Issues To Be Discussed During Courtship ? by emiarire(f): 8:17am On Jun 19, 2017
KillerBeauty:

So you think people divorce nowadays because of no love. There's more to relationship than just love and if you think love is enough to make a marriage last you re very wrong.
According to research most marriages fail nowadays because of finances. Money is very important in our lives wheather we agree or not.
I know of marriages that have ended in divorce because of money either the wife is high maintenance or the husband spends recklessly.
Also Commitment , understanding and friendship is what make most couple stay together for years not love alone
I think we dont really knw wat true love is dt y we usually say love is nt enough. Understanding , committment, friendship etc are all found in love. When u love someone, understanding him/her, been commited to d person, friendship etc all comes naturally. (n i think dats way soberdrunk is, tryin to say)
Most divorces that come from ppl dt claim to 'love' starts when one party begin to think more of himself than the partner n selflessness is only found in love.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Are Some Of The Issues To Be Discussed During Courtship ? by cooldood(m): 8:21am On Jun 19, 2017
folakemigeh:
Love making is very paramount. Please disregard anybody saying sex isn't that important. We enjoy sex as much as you guys do( if not more ) but we only don't kiss and tell as you guys do.
Finances do also matter but as long as both parties are doing something everything should be fine.

I can't imagine myself being married to a man that won't touch me at least once a week

Gbam.lol.
Re: What Are Some Of The Issues To Be Discussed During Courtship ? by cooldood(m): 8:22am On Jun 19, 2017
gawk:


How old are you?.. you talk like a toddler, if all this you stated are your priorities in order of preference..then marriage shouldn't be even a priority in the next 15 years for you.

So are you saying finance is not key or what? The poster actually makes sense.
Re: What Are Some Of The Issues To Be Discussed During Courtship ? by emiarire(f): 8:24am On Jun 19, 2017
KillerBeauty:

So you think people divorce nowadays because of no love. There's more to relationship than just love and if you think love is enough to make a marriage last you re very wrong.
According to research most marriages fail nowadays because of finances. Money is very important in our lives wheather we agree or not.
I know of marriages that have ended in divorce because of money either the wife is high maintenance or the husband spends recklessly.
Also Commitment , understanding and friendship is what make most couple stay together for years not love alone
I think we dont really knw wat true love is dt y we usually say love is nt enough. Understanding , committment, friendship etc are all found in love. When u love someone, understanding him/her, been commited to d person, friendship etc all comes naturally. (n i think dats way soberdrunk is tryin to say)
Most divorces that come from ppl dt claim to 'love' starts when one party begin to think more of himself than the partner n selflessness is only found in love.
Re: What Are Some Of The Issues To Be Discussed During Courtship ? by KillerBeauty(f): 8:27am On Jun 19, 2017
emiarire:

I think we dont really knw wat true love is dt y we usually say love is nt enough. Understanding , committment, friendship etc are all found in love. When u love someone, understanding him/her, been commited to d person, friendship etc all comes naturally. (n i think dats way soberdrunk is, tryin to say)
Most divorces that come from ppl dt claim to 'love' starts when one party begin to think more of himself than the partner n selflessness is only found in love.
Okay. But I really do not believe in that true love thing.
If you spend your time looking for true love in a relationship you will die old and lonely.
Just be friends with your partner, be committed to the relationship and try to understand the person.
That's the recipe for long lasting relationship
Re: What Are Some Of The Issues To Be Discussed During Courtship ? by cooldood(m): 8:33am On Jun 19, 2017
KillerBeauty:

So you think people divorce nowadays because of no love. There's more to relationship than just love and if you think love is enough to make a marriage last you re very wrong.
According to research most marriages fail nowadays because of finances. Money is very important in our lives wheather we agree or not.
I know of marriages that have ended in divorce because of money either the wife is high maintenance or the husband spends recklessly.
Also Commitment , understanding and friendship is what make most couple stay together for years not love alone

Absolutely. People just think about love as some magic wand, you're on your own with that. Love is actually a 'doing word', an action word, see once you're not able 'to do' that which your partner needs or desire, that your 'love' begins to erode. God's love is not human's love o.
Re: What Are Some Of The Issues To Be Discussed During Courtship ? by teevodaprinz(m): 8:37am On Jun 19, 2017
Discussing things like financial aspect and any other things in courtship does not really count to me. The one and only that count is your "sex life" And that's if u guys have decided to abstain till after wedding.

99.9999999999999999% of partners in relationship/ Courtship will never tell you their weak areas. So how do you expect to know the truth in the so called "to be discussed" thing.

The best way to know all that is needed is to be vigilant in courtship. A partner who repeat a particular habit you don't like many times but always apologise and say "it's a mistake" hello in quote, it's not a mistake. That's one part of him/her such person is trying to hide. Ofcus such can change, but never hope it will get better in marriage instead expect less. If you can cope with such habit then go ahead.

I've heard a lady who says her boyfriend can't control her since she's not married to him yet. You can imagine that, how do you expect such lady to be submissive after marriage?

One fact remains... There's nothing new in marriage, it's just the upgraded version of relationships/courtship

Only few things will be added in marriage. But the big question is : - Will the "few added" be a good one or the other one?

Answer : - IF YOU ARE VIGILANT ENOUGH DURING COURTSHIP, YOU WILL KNOW THE KIND OF FRUIT HE/SHE WILL BEAR



Thank you






Tioluwa:
What are some of the issues you discussed when you were in courtship or now you are in courtship or when you think you will be in courtship?

2 Likes

Re: What Are Some Of The Issues To Be Discussed During Courtship ? by cooldood(m): 8:45am On Jun 19, 2017
emiarire:

I think we dont really knw wat true love is dt y we usually say love is nt enough. Understanding , committment, friendship etc are all found in love. When u love someone, understanding him/her, been commited to d person, friendship etc all comes naturally. (n i think dats way soberdrunk is tryin to say)
Most divorces that come from ppl dt claim to 'love' starts when one party begin to think more of himself than the partner n selflessness is only found in love.

Let me ask you this - if your spouse develops a medical illness and he's not able to deliver in bed, how will you react, if he develops stroke or arthritis for example.

Another example if your spouse loses his investments,business,etc,and he's not able to meet basic needs for many years due to hypertension,how will you react?

Ok, if your Christian partner changes to Islam or traditional form of religion, how will you react?

It's easier said than done, love is not enough. Life happens and things change. Marriage for me though is over exaggerated.
Re: What Are Some Of The Issues To Be Discussed During Courtship ? by Flintstone06(m): 8:48am On Jun 19, 2017
NwaAmaikpe:
shocked

Please learn from my mistake...

I regret not discussing anal and oral during courtship.

Now the only time something wet touches my Dogo is when I am bathing with foam sponge.

Weyrey! grin grin grin
Re: What Are Some Of The Issues To Be Discussed During Courtship ? by Flintstone06(m): 8:55am On Jun 19, 2017
NwaAmaikpe:

angry

Your mom is one of the few wise women left in your place.

She gave you that advise because your family can never afford the transport fare to the East let alone the marriage list.

I'd advice you to impregnate an Agege bread seller and leave Igbo women for the more fortunate.

Haaa! Savage!!! cry cry
Re: What Are Some Of The Issues To Be Discussed During Courtship ? by olowobaba10: 9:23am On Jun 19, 2017
soberdrunk:
This is why "divorce" is so high nowadays, people have turned "relationships" to 'social project' where you scrutinize, analyze, strategize, some even have "requirements" and "qualifications' as if you are applying for a job. I am not saying there is anything wrong in looking out for certain traits in your partner but when you put 'requirements' before love it wont end well, a lot of ladies have pushed aside the guys they truly love for the guy the fits the profile of the 'ideal guy' and they finally end up in unhappy homes. To answer your question, no matter how much or how long you discuss issues during courtship, new issues and new challenges will always come up, the major issue you should be worried about is whether you are at least "95%" certain deep down that you are 'absolutely' in love with your partner not just 'physically' but spiritually, psychologically, emotionally, intellectually and any other 'ly' that will last 'forever'(or at least the next 30-50 years because the life expectancy in Nigeria is now50-60 ish), if you are certain about this then any other issue or challenge, no matter how big will be a 'piece of cake'......... angry
COMMENTERS LIKE YOU ARE WHAT STILL KEPT ME ON NAIRA LAND
Re: What Are Some Of The Issues To Be Discussed During Courtship ? by jerrywill(m): 9:58am On Jun 19, 2017
folakemigeh:
Love making is very paramount. Please disregard anybody saying sex isn't that important. We enjoy sex as much as you guys do( if not more ) but we only don't kiss and tell as you guys do.

I can't imagine myself being married to a man that won't touch me at least once a week
Beautiful

1 Like

Re: What Are Some Of The Issues To Be Discussed During Courtship ? by aamstih: 9:59am On Jun 19, 2017
The touching once in a week would be feasible at the abinitio but when career/ kids induced pressure sets in you would surely not have this as a priority, trust me.



folakemigeh:
Love making is very paramount. Please disregard anybody saying sex isn't that important. We enjoy sex as much as you guys do( if not more ) but we only don't kiss and tell as you guys do.
Finances do also matter but as long as both parties are doing something everything should be fine.

I can't imagine myself being married to a man that won't touch me at least once a week
Re: What Are Some Of The Issues To Be Discussed During Courtship ? by d33types: 9:59am On Jun 19, 2017
NwaAmaikpe:

angry

Your mom is one of the few wise women left in your place.

She gave you that advise because your family can never afford the transport fare to the East let alone the marriage list.

I'd advice you to impregnate an Agege bread seller and leave Igbo women for the more fortunate.

Wow,this is astonishing.Something good can come out of NwaAmaikpe?
Re: What Are Some Of The Issues To Be Discussed During Courtship ? by chimexview: 11:10am On Jun 19, 2017
folakemigeh:
Love making is very paramount. Please disregard anybody saying sex isn't that important. We enjoy sex as much as you guys do( if not more ) but we only don't kiss and tell as you guys do.
Finances do also matter but as long as both parties are doing something everything should be fine.

I can't imagine myself being married to a man that won't touch me at least once a week


Folake give me love ❤️....nicely said
Re: What Are Some Of The Issues To Be Discussed During Courtship ? by chimexview: 11:14am On Jun 19, 2017
victorious001:
why can't you grow a DICK instead of becoming one.
m



You are highly mouthed , Tell him again grin
Re: What Are Some Of The Issues To Be Discussed During Courtship ? by 2016v2017: 11:16am On Jun 19, 2017
cuteass1:
When i hear that question, its only natural for me to think that whatever is to be discussed should be something that could make you regret getting married to this person, something that could have made you change your mind on spending the rest of your life with this person

With that said, here are some things i can think of:

Likes
Dislikes
Values
Family (kids,?)
Religion?
Future plans
Past life

. . . and the list is endless!
Re: What Are Some Of The Issues To Be Discussed During Courtship ? by 2016v2017: 11:17am On Jun 19, 2017
Islander:
Finance is indeed top priority for me.  I will need to ensure that the person I marry is financially able to take care of himself first before I attempt to proceed. Next will be his past ( criminal records etc). Education, religion, interests, medical and all the other little things that I think I should know,
Re: What Are Some Of The Issues To Be Discussed During Courtship ? by 2016v2017: 11:21am On Jun 19, 2017
soberdrunk:
This is why "divorce" is so high nowadays, people have turned "relationships" to 'social project' where you scrutinize, analyze, strategize, some even have "requirements" and "qualifications' as if you are applying for a job. I am not saying there is anything wrong in looking out for certain traits in your partner but when you put 'requirements' before love it wont end well, a lot of ladies have pushed aside the guys they truly love for the guy the fits the profile of the 'ideal guy' and they finally end up in unhappy homes. To answer your question, no matter how much or how long you discuss issues during courtship, new issues and new challenges will always come up, the major issue you should be worried about is whether you are at least "95%" certain deep down that you are 'absolutely' in love with your partner not just 'physically' but spiritually, psychologically, emotionally, intellectually and any other 'ly' that will last 'forever'(or at least the next 30-50 years because the life expectancy in Nigeria is now50-60 ish), if you are certain about this then any other issue or challenge, no matter how big will be a 'piece of cake'......... angry
Thumbs up for you smiley
Re: What Are Some Of The Issues To Be Discussed During Courtship ? by Nobody: 11:25am On Jun 19, 2017
NwaAmaikpe:

angry

Your mom is one of the few wise women left in your place.

She gave you that advise because your family can never afford the transport fare to the East let alone the marriage list.

I'd advice you to impregnate an Agege bread seller and leave Igbo women for the more fortunate.



LWKMD....that guy is DEMENTED!!!!
Re: What Are Some Of The Issues To Be Discussed During Courtship ? by deeone10: 12:56pm On Jun 19, 2017
NwaAmaikpe:

angry

Your mom is one of the few wise women left in your place.

She gave you that advise because your family can never afford the transport fare to the East let alone the marriage list.

I'd advice you to impregnate an Agege bread seller and leave Igbo women for the more fortunate.


Kilode...u just spoil somebody's day kai
Re: What Are Some Of The Issues To Be Discussed During Courtship ? by CarterIkonAllah(m): 3:40pm On Jun 19, 2017
Your strength and weaknesses,as well as your direction and focus
Re: What Are Some Of The Issues To Be Discussed During Courtship ? by SHOOPSYN(m): 4:01pm On Jun 19, 2017
Relationship... marriage IS ALL ABOUT MEETING NEEDS...(Spiritual needs, physical needs Psychological needs, Emotional needs etc)...@Op, asking questions is very vital but note this, marriage is more like an android phone application that requires upgrade... till Jesus comes. Try and get Myles Munroe's message: Single but not alone. Is very good. Meeting Needs!!!!
Re: What Are Some Of The Issues To Be Discussed During Courtship ? by icequeen0424: 5:28pm On Jun 19, 2017
tydi:



aunty Jesus is coming soon!

Have you accepted him. Mumu wife beater

1 Like

Re: What Are Some Of The Issues To Be Discussed During Courtship ? by tydi(m): 11:41pm On Jun 19, 2017
icequeen0424:


Have you accepted him. Mumu wife beater

lol... I guess u r a literate buh uneducated..

u don't need to ask me how I know..

pls accept him now cus heaven go play ur tape of Bleep wen you get there then you go tell jesus where der do that kind thing for bible

Shift make I faint near ur atrocities
Re: What Are Some Of The Issues To Be Discussed During Courtship ? by icequeen0424: 6:57am On Jun 20, 2017
tydi:


lol... I guess u r a literate buh uneducated..

u don't need to ask me how I know..

pls accept him now cus heaven go play ur tape of Bleep wen you get there then you go tell jesus where der do that kind thing for bible

Shift make I faint near ur atrocities

See who is talking about not being educated. Look at your post. Filled with errors. Nitwit.
Igbo smoking wife beater is preaching Christ.
I am sure your pastor is Suleiman.
I pray your wife wakes up, and takes the right decision so that you can destroy yourself.



Let me describe your future for you.

You will end up homeless in a gutter somewhere. Your teeth rotten begging for money to buy igbo. Then people will be saying does this man not have children.

Your wife is a beautiful girl. She will move on and raise her son, to be a good man.
Shame will not let you come close, by then your parents will be dead, all relatives would have abandoned you. You will end up dead in the gutter with gutter rats feasting on you.

15 Likes

(1) (2) (3) (4) (Reply)

Please Help, How Do I Get Over My Abusive Relationship That Is Draining My Blood / How Can I Avoid Having A Girlfriend? / "You Want Mr. Right When You Are Miss. Wrong "

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 59
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.