Why are y'all pouring invectives on the man? You have never been in the situation he's currently facing, so why the castigations even though its obvious y'all don't know how he feels?

^^^ I've been there. I know how it feels. Yes, back in 2007, I almost left my wife of 7 years for another babe just beacuse she was a HOT CAKE!.

^^ chei, sorry ya. I thank God you scaled through. Don't try it next time o!

chei, ol boi you don chop vegetable wey the woman don use toto water cook efo for u! chineke, na im u wan come live your wife and pikin them for this winch!
Okpabieeee , ur own don finish my man.

@ poster, if you have the interest of your kids at heart, and you ever put the future into consideration, you will not even have to
think about this. Is it like people just spit marital vows like lyrics these days? dont they mean anything anymo? how would u like
if a man did this to ur daughter?

Hello Poster,

sorry i have to say this,this story is fictitious,u cant be in this situation and come to nairaland for solution, Mchewwwwww, next story

My frank answer: YOU WOULD BE A FOOL TO LEAVE YOUR WIFE AND KIDS.

If anything happens, your wife will ensure that nothing happens to your kids. They are hers as well. People do not usually realize the essence of having a wife of your youth into old age. It is when you are 80 years, vulnerable and entering your second childhood that you will know why you should not ever dream of leaving your wife.

lol, this guy don eat vegetable.

^^^no be only vegetable, silly man

BABE!:

See how dumb and stu[i]pid [/i] I sounded--? That's exactly how the poster is sounding.   

Nah. He might sound dumb and stupid, but he isn't.
He said he has tried to take her off his mind, but he couldn't. He is deeply in love with the woman, It is even affecting his job.

My frank answer: YOU WOULD BE A FOOL TO LEAVE YOUR WIFE AND KIDS.

If anything happens, your wife will ensure that nothing happens to your kids. They are hers as well. People do not usually realize the essence of having a wife of your youth into old age. It is when you are 80 years, vulnerable and entering your second childhood that you will know why you should not ever dream of leaving your wife.

@stagger

I go vex for you oooo,Does a blind man cross express alone or does a deaf man know the rythme of music.

J12:

Nah. He might sound dumb and silly, but he isn't.
He said he has tried to take her off his mind, but he couldn't. He is deeply in love with the woman, It is even affecting his job.

Jay, are you the OP?

^I was just saying what he was saying. .

Its not all marriages that started well end well not because marriage is bad but because marriage partners do not know why they should become partners and how the partnership should run.

No one becomes a lawyer, a doctor or a banker who didn't go to school but everybody is a professor when it comes to marriage. That's why marriages are failing and will continue to be untill we all admit our ignorance with a radical decision to accepting marriage as a profession to be learnt and mastered, turning away from convetionalism to fundamentalism. Someday many will embrace my marriage project at http://www.gracefem.com

the problem with Marylanders is increasing day by day simple advise no re we in playing ground or What dam man look u better stick to your wife if you think what you are doing is right go on but for me i think is wrong is only one that wear a shoe knows where is pinch most so

From the way you sound sir, with due respect you are not serious. I don't think you are a responsible man at all sir.

J12:

^I was just saying what he was saying. .

Bros I dey suspect u o, E be like say na u be the poster o wey just take cover under another ID, lol *Jokes*

These are all Ikebe Super, Papa Ajasco stories. NL is full of them. Man os 45 runs away with woman of 45, leavse wife and children to suffer

@ OP,


Stop telling stories jare. . . which man in his forties want leave im wife for another expired meat?. . . . see your head, you no go go find 20-something year old jolly with. Expired man.

Anyway, no shakings. If you can afford the time and money to cater for two families, get your baba iyabo on!

na wa o! persin say him wan leave him wife & 2 children follow another woman wey get two children for anoda man, una com dey yab am,  who tell am say anoda man nor dey wait make him make di mistake so him go takeover him own madam? ehn when him eye clear him go know say person wey pursue 2 rat di same time nor go catch any one. him pickins go call anoda man papa. di oda woman go follow anoda man waka when time reach, and wife go be former wife by then.
anyway sha, who wan die don see who go kill am.

First and foremost, I need to salute your courage to ask this inner problem of yours.
Please, kindly ignore some comments as because many could not empathize  but to throw STONES,

The FIRST liberty you can get from this strange woman is by you calling your real wife and tell her this issue.
It may be hard but it will really help you to overcome this problem, both of you will fight the battle together.
I am married with two kids, so I know what I am talking about.

In a related development, you need to do away with ANY thing that brings you and this strange woman together.
and here is my conclusion below:

PROVERB 7(NIV)
1 My son, keep my words
  and store up my commands within you.
2 Keep my commands and you will live;
  guard my teachings as the apple of your eye.
3 Bind them on your fingers;
  write them on the tablet of your heart.
4 Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,”
  and to insight, “You are my relative.”
5 They will keep you from the adulterous woman,
  from the wayward woman with her seductive words.

6 At the window of my house
  I looked down through the lattice.
7 I saw among the simple,
  I noticed among the young men,
  a youth who had no sense.
8 He was going down the street near her corner,
  walking along in the direction of her house
9 at twilight, as the day was fading,
  as the dark of night set in.

10 Then out came a woman to meet him,
  dressed like a prostitute and with crafty intent.
11 (She is unruly and defiant,
  her feet never stay at home;
12 now in the street, now in the squares,
  at every corner she lurks.)
13 She took hold of him and kissed him
  and with a brazen face she said:

14 “Today I fulfilled my vows,
  and I have food from my fellowship offering at home.
15 So I came out to meet you;
  I looked for you and have found you!
16 I have covered my bed
  with colored linens from Egypt.
17 I have perfumed my bed
  with myrrh, aloes and cinnamon.
18 Come, let’s drink deeply of love till morning;
  let’s enjoy ourselves with love!
19 My husband is not at home;
  he has gone on a long journey.
20 He took his purse filled with money
  and will not be home till full moon.”

21 With persuasive words she led him astray;
  she seduced him with her smooth talk.
22 All at once he followed her
  like an ox going to the slaughter,
like a deer[a] stepping into a noose[b]
23 till an arrow pierces his liver,
like a bird darting into a snare,
  little knowing it will cost him his life.

24 Now then, my sons, listen to me;
  pay attention to what I say.
25 Do not let your heart turn to her ways
  or stray into her paths.
26 Many are the victims she has brought down;
  her slain are a mighty throng.
27[b] Her house is a highway to the grave,
  leading down to the chambers of death. [/b]

Final answer is live or die, if you do, you will definitely die, but if you abstain you will live for ever.Because you have overcome the temptation.

Prioritize!

Imagine the damage you will do to your kids. Also, you will have to support 2 households, and another man's kids. Your children will hate you for leaving their mom, because they have grown up with both parents in the house.

Think about this woman, she is willing to cheat with you and she will cheat on you as well. She has no pride in herself to want a married man.

"The 80/20 Rule is simple. In a healthy relationship, you get about 80 per cent of what you need/want from your partner. They are caring, respectful and share a lot of the same interests as you, but then you meet someone who catches your attention for an unknown reason. It may well be because they fulfill the missing 20 per cent in your relationship – namely the sexual component. Because that 20 per cent has been missing for so long, you quickly conclude, “Hey, this person has everything I am looking for in a partner.” This can be a relationship killer. Since you jump genitals-first for this new interest, you may have given up your 80 per cent loving partner for a 20 per cent fling. The regret automatically sets in.

During the good times in a loving relationship, the other 20 per cent doesn’t really matter because you don’t notice it missing. You are content and fulfilled with your partner. Your 80 per cent feels like 100 per cent. When you are in an argument, however, because your partner is too messy or something petty, then the 20 per cent is tossed into the limelight.

This isn’t to say that you should stick with the current, thankless partner. You might only be getting the 20 per cent in the relationship, anyway. In this case, if you are truly miserable, maybe you should shop around. The point is to look at your relationship and really question if something substantial is missing. If this is the case and you feel unsatisfied, then move on and find someone who can offer you more. Remember, a key element to any relationship is honesty – not just to your partner, but yourself.

The 80/20 Rule explains some of the mysteries of relationships. It makes sense why cheaters go after the 20 per cent while trying to hold on to the other 80 per cent. The relationship crush (when you are in a loving relationship but have a crush on the local barista) often manifests because you see the other 20 per cent in the crush. And even the “players,” who jump from one 20 per cent adventure to another in a vain attempt to eventually equal 100.

If your relationship is going through a rough patch, think about the 80/20 Rule. Before switching partners, be careful since you might be giving up more than you think. First look at what you have instead of focusing on what is missing. Just remember, don’t throw away a good thing for a piece of new ass. We don’t need the divorce rate to inflate anymore."

http://travismagazine./2009/02/10/why-we-cheat-the-8020-rule/

nairalanders why? why do always do this? people make mistakes becos they are human, this man is confused and needed advice and 90 percent of the advice u gave is insult, that is not ok at all. this is a brother in need just help dont rubbish him in the process. most of u married ones still play outside and u know it. stop all dis insults and name calling it doesnt'encourage some people to share their problems.

Op if you leave your wife for another woman then you are going to regret it for the rest of your days.This lady in question that wants you to leave your wife and kids must be heartless.

@IyaBasira

It seems like everyone is calling the woman a home wrecker and a witch, all of which are true. I'm actually happy that no one is telling the poster something silly like "All men cheat so this is not a big deal".

Finally Nairalanders can agree on something, which is that the poster is a not-so-smart person whose lineage originates from the scum of the earth.

@ Poster ; Omega25Red made a very valid point; leave her already! And[b] I wish you and your new wife all the punishment that God sends to people who break their marital vows[/b].

Iya Basira, softly, softly naah! Ewo n’tepe?
Its just another made-up story y a woman, posing as a man. It’s the “order of the day on NL now”.
It gives all of us an opportunity to “bash-a-man and feel good about it”! Problem is it still does not make anyone feel good as expected!

@Rokiatu

What happened to the vow "till death do us part?"

Hmmm.,.,.,this is the first time l will see/hear a FEMALE ADVOCATE of till death do us apart!
In the other thread where one lady said she might kill her husband because of his “over-bearing attitude” about her accent, majority of the women (except Snowdrops) were advising her to “just pretend and dump him at the slightest opportunity”!
They never told her that “what happened to "till death do us apart”!
Women sha, as usual, when it suits their fancy, they will “pick and choose” which “rule” to follow!

@stagger

If anything happens, your wife will ensure that nothing happens to your kids. They are hers as well. People do not usually realize the essence of having a wife of your youth into old age. It is when you are 80 years, vulnerable and entering your second childhood that you will know why you should not ever dream of leaving your wife.

Preach it, my Pastor! But please remember to “preach it to the women also”! I mean this thing about “Not dumping The Husband of your Youth” just because he is being naughty! After all, women live up to 80yrs as well.

@Poster: My “S-I-M-P-L-E-S” advice to you is to remember that “It will be done to you, five-fold, as you have done to others”. Very “simples”. Silly He-Goat!
Whats the problem with all these women “husband snatchers”? Cant you find your own husband and leave our wives alone? 

BTW:

21 With persuasive words she led him astray;
   she seduced him with her smooth talk.
22 All at once he followed her
   like an ox going to the slaughter,
like a deer[a] stepping into a noose[b]
23 till an arrow pierces his liver,
like a bird darting into a snare,
   little knowing it will cost him his life.
25 Do not let your heart turn to her ways
   or stray into her paths.
26 Many are the victims she has brought down;
   her slain are a mighty throng.
27 Her house is a highway to the grave,
   leading down to the chambers of death.

You mean “all these” is referring to a women? Lord have mercy on women

@Digi101

Bros need anyone say more?,
The devil deceived Adam by making him believe he  didnt have what was already his (the likeness of God), Adam fell for it Hook, Line and Sinker - please dont make the same mistake.

Digi, l take exception to you “calling WOMEN, DEVIL!” Bible account says the “woman” deceived her husband, Adam, after she herself had fallen for Satan!
BTW: Why are women always the cause of “a man’s downfall”? Look at this father of two who is being bewitched by this “used”, old cargo? WTF!

@fxtopedia

Thanks for showing him the Book of Proverbs. Poster, see if a dog wants to get lost and its owner call it to come back, it will hear the owner but it will not come back.

I rarely comment on issues like this because my perspective is always and will always be based on the Holy Bible.
@Gr8est, IT IS SIN FOR A MAN TO EVEN LOOK AT A WOMAN DIFFERENT LUSTFULLY LET ALONE HAVING AN AFFAIR. IF GOD CAN SAY THAT HE HATES DIVORCE (MALACHI 2:16) HOW MUCH MORE WILL HE HATE ONE ABANDONING ONES WIFE

With all due respect sir, is the woman you call your wife truly your legal wife? My friend, you need to repent of your sins: accept our LORD JESUS CHRIST as your LORD and PERSONAL SAVIOUR. To be carnally minded is death.

Do we really sit down to ponder over our actions, their consequences here on earth and our rewards hereafter. See many of us (human beings) will in years to come regret some of our decisions and actions we took and the ones we are about to take. As a younger man, you might be pleased with it but at old age, you might regret it and at death (if you fail to accept CHRIST), you can imagine.

Let us take decisions thank we would be proud of and happy to face their consequences in the future here on earth and in eternity. Remember some years ago, that many people stole to ride CD 195, bicycles, and even to own gramophones, and even those black and white tvs with wooden sliding doors. How do you think that they would be feeling now when they remember those acts.
Ask yourself this simple question. Is what I am doing presently (having an affair) and what I am about to do (leaving my wife for another) right? Whatever you feel for that other woman is a destructive charge geared towards your destruction. It is not even lust, it is death. It is same as what propels somebody to kill another person and after effecting such lives to regret it (as they all say, hand work of satan). Remember that when satan pushes and convinces you to take an action and you do so, you alone faces the repercussions. there is a way that seemeth right unto a man but its end there of is death.

Think about you about your children. What do you think will be their relationship with you throughout you life considering the truth that they will always know that you abandoned them and their mum for another woman.

ANY MAN OR WOMAN THAT ADVICES OR SUPPORTS YOU TO LEAVE YOUR SPOUSE FOR HIM OR HER WILL NEVER TRUST YOU. HE/SHE WOULD EITHER LEAVE YOU OR BE IN ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP ASIDE SIDE

Definitely, there are usually issues (misunderstandings) between a married couple just as you said but they ought to be resolved. If handled well, their resolution atimes improves the union.

Tell me, how is this other woman better than your wife, if at all she is? What are you looking for? Sex!!!!!!! Tell me it is not. What else. Have you not be having sex with your wife? Of course it is not companionship (afterall your wife is there as your companion).

The way we talk and encourage even divorce makes me weep in my spirit. No matter what we mortals say or think, it never changes what GOD says in the Book of Matthew 10:1 - 12 and also the Book of 1 Corinthians 7: 10 - 11. Ones married, there is no going back. You can only remarry on the condition given in Romans 7: 2 - 3. The marriage between a man and his wife is like the one between our saviour JESUS CHRIST and HIS Church, Ephesians 5: 22 - 33.

You might not understand the above be cause things of the spirit are discerned by the spirit.

Many have tolled this pact that you are maddened and set to take, but I tell you the results were terrible.

The decision is yours: take the good ones, you feel happy and thank GOD - take the wrong ones, you deal with its painful and regrettable consequences. But if I may ask, why did you marry your wife? Was it due to lust and infatuation?

Anextin:

nairalanders why? why do always do this? people make mistakes becos they are human, this man is confused and needed advice and 90 percent of the advice u gave is insult, that is not ok at all. this is a brother in need just help dont rubbish him in the process. most of u married ones still play outside and u know it. stop all dis insults and name calling it doesnt'encourage some people to share their problems.

What do you expect from a forum like this. I do not support insults but the poster would have gone to a marriage counselor or even a genuine pastor for advice. I said a pastor because a good shepherd of GOD's sheep/people will always seek for healing in a marriages and stand against spouse separation.