@OP. I don't know if you are a christian or not. If you are then you need to pray for forgiveness and let go of this strange woman.

You have only put the way you are feeling now into consideration. How will your wife feels when she learn of what you are doing? Remember she has also invested emotionally and physically into your relationship. Also what of your children? What kind of person do you want them to become in the future? The ones that will resent men or women depending on their sexes. Imagine, your daughter(if you have one now) in the shoe of your wife, will you like any man to treat her like the way you are treating your wife?

I want to leave you with this thought as I want to assume you have a little of God's fear within you. What is God's thought on this?

Don't make decision for selfish reasons but consider all the would be affected parties.

Shalom

Poster, Think about it this way, if this other woman is that fantastic, her previous marriage would not have crashed.
Now she wants to crash ur marriage just like the way hers crashed!! There is a yoruba proverb that says, someone whose life has spoilt would not mind someone spoiling someone else' life.
This woman is out to destroy you. To satisfy ur curiousity, try and find out what happened to her former husband, im sure u will be shocked.
Think man!!! An old worn out pu cee is not worth this stress

Guy!!!!!!!, is there something else you haven't told this forum about your wife that you have shared with the slut?. I mean, for a woman over forty with two kids to be without a man in her life, then I wonder what circumstances led to your so called "love life". If your wife by chance has done something wrong asides your acclaimed "normal marriage issues", why don't you just sit down and iron it out?. I am aware that there are too many women out there waiting to grab any man with "the third leg" and they'll stop at nothing to ruin whatever good in sight.

Imagine you having to decide whether to leave your family for another unknown territory!!!!!!, you sure are done for once you try that kinda of stunt. Mehn, be wise and face your cross and carry it.

from the poster's comment i dont think the wife has done anything for this guy, he is just enjoying fresh pu cee and got carried away in the process
Poor soul!! Maybe he did not have enough b4 he got married

Go for deliverance if you need one and don't let this strange woman hold you captive any longer.

this is simple,why did the first marriage not last for this woman.whatever made her other husband to leave her, will be the same with you.so be happy with your family and don't hurt your children.

tshepiso:

this is simple,why did the first marriage not last for this woman.whatever made her other husband to leave her, will be the same with you.so be happy with your family and don't hurt your children.

good advice

OP u dey hear so?? where are u?

MARRIAGE



When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.



Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?



I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!



With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.



The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.



When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.



In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.



This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.



I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.



My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outsidethe door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.



On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.



On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.



She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.



Suddenly it hit me, she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.



Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.



But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office, jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind, I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.



She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.



At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.



That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.

My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband,



The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!



If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.



If you do, you just might save a marriage.

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
[color=#990000][/color]

Please why is anyone wasting time advising this poster ,the man is obviously sick and needs medical/spiritual attention .
@poster,c'mon leave ur family for d 'new luv' of urs. U ain't man enough for ur wife anyway

[size=8pt]STOP giving advices when you don't know the real truth.
Remember, this guy knows what he is doing, he has a family yet went after other women.
Now that things are no longer interesting or getting complicated _ he 'seeks' advice? please.

GUESS AND MYSTIQUE, PLEASE TELL THEM O!!!!!!

IF PERSON USE IM HAND STAY MIDDLE OF EXPRESS ROAD, NA HEAVEN OR HELL IM WAN GO BE THAT.

CANT BELIEVE THIS UNEDUCATIVE THREAD IS STILL ON

Poster, whats going on, have u left ur wife?

frenchman:

Poster, whats going on, have u left your wife?

Or Better still have your wife left you?

No I have not left my wife. I have severed communication with the other woman but I am not finding it easy.
I am trying to resist the burning urge to get back together with her

Gr8est:

No I have not left my wife. I have severed communication with the other woman but I am not finding it easy.
I am trying to resist the burning urge to get back together with her

Good that the best decision that you have taken. Family is very important, and marriage is equally a hard work. Continue to resist her. Take u'r wife for shopping and buy sexy wears for her.

I met this lady a few months ago, and what started as a fling ended up being a roller coaster love story. We are both in our forties.I never meant to fall in love with this lady but somehow, i got hooked, and right now I cannot think of anything else apart from this lady.

Please, go on.

From the onset she said she wanted a husband and not a boyfriend which then I was not prepared to be, but after a while, I am now willing to be the husband she wants.

Please go on.

I am married with 2 kids and she also has 2 kids from her previous marriage and I am about to give that away for this lady. Though my wife and I have been having normal marital issues, but nothing serious so far.

Please go on.

I tried walking away from this relationship several times but could not, cos any time I tried that, I could not concentrate on my work or anything for that matter. Right now she wants me to make up my mind, I either be with her or my wife, and right now I think I may go with her.

Please go on.

I want you guys views on this, cos I am about to make a gr8 decision. Is it worth it? Or am I being a wimp?

Yes!

Only a whimp leaves his or her spouse for another.
May I please remind you that ALL poohsies smell if not washed.
Just like ALL dee-ee--ks die naturally after a few mileages.
So, there is absolutely no coherent reason to leave one for another in a MARRIAGE.
Could you please do the world in general a favor. . . learn to be a good  'juxtaposer'!

You have children to worry about. . . No poohsie out there is worth it!

So, stop being unnecessarily 'poohsie-whipped' and GROW UP!

Thanks!


Goodnight! *Time for bed. . . Here comes my hotstepper*!

If she loves you,she will not suggest you leaving your family for her.

LEAVE UR WIFE! I'M SURE AFTER THE TWO KIDS SHE HAS TRIPLED IN SIZE, AND THE SITUATIONS BELOW HAVE BECOME UNKEMPT AND NOT AS IMPORTANT AS THE BABIES. THAT IS THE REASON FOR YOUR WEARING OUT OF THE GIRLFRIENDS SITUATIONS!! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? SO GET ON WITH IT, MAN! OR ELSE, YES! YOU ARE A WIMP! A DANGEROUS SPINELESS WIMP!!

Thank you all for the comments on the post.
I am a believer in the 80/20 rule with this situation. The grass is not always greener at the other end.

GR8EST...please let me know what have you done over the last year. I completely understand where you are coming from and how difficult it is to break away your current relationship. However, in the end, I think anyone deserves to be happy and sometimes, loves happens at the most inconvenient times in our life. It certainly did to me. You seem to have truly loved the woman you left. A lot of us marry very early and don't realize what exactly we want from a partner until after the kids and marriage. This is unfortunate but true for many couples. What was the reason why you firmly walked away from what seems the love of your life? I can imagine kids would be the most difficult to leave. I would love to hear your thought process and whether life will ever be the same for you again.

Gr8est: I met this lady a few months ago, and what started as a fling ended up being a roller coaster love story. We are both in our forties.I never meant to fall in love with this lady but somehow, i got hooked, and right now I cannot think of anything else apart from this lady. From the onset she said she wanted a husband and not a boyfriend which then I was not prepared to be, but after a while, I am now willing to be the husband she wants.
I am married with 2 kids and she also has 2 kids from her previous marriage and I am about to give that away for this lady. Though my wife and I have been having normal marital issues, but nothing serious so far. I tried walking away from this relationship several times but could not, cos any time I tried that, I could not concentrate on my work or anything for that matter. Right now she wants me to make up my mind, I either be with her or my wife, and right now I think I may go with her.
I want you guys views on this, cos I am about to make a gr8 decision. Is it worth it? Or am I being a wimp?

Sir if i may ask are you really in your forties? Im in my twenties and i must say you sound like a guy in his twenties. No disrespect, sir.

Gr8est: I met this lady a few months ago, and what started as a fling ended up being a roller coaster love story. We are both in our forties.I never meant to fall in love with this lady but somehow, i got hooked, and right now I cannot think of anything else apart from this lady. From the onset she said she wanted a husband and not a boyfriend which then I was not prepared to be, but after a while, I am now willing to be the husband she wants.
I am married with 2 kids and she also has 2 kids from her previous marriage and I am about to give that away for this lady. Though my wife and I have been having normal marital issues, but nothing serious so far. I tried walking away from this relationship several times but could not, cos any time I tried that, I could not concentrate on my work or anything for that matter. Right now she wants me to make up my mind, I either be with her or my wife, and right now I think I may go with her.
I want you guys views on this, cos I am about to make a gr8 decision. Is it worth it? Or am I being a wimp?

Sir if i may ask are you really in your forties? Im in my twenties and i must say you sound like a guy in his twenties. No disrespect, sir.

2

Who's the necrophiliac that enjoys rezzing old threads?

.

You're a necrophiliac?
The lovely thing is I wasn't even referring to you. You seem to be the one following me around.

And it's also funny that you keep bring up this email thing like it's the only defense you have against my logic.
I personally don't take NL seriously and I see no reason to maintain "beefs" with folks outside of it.
You've decided to take it so personally, throwing tantrums like an entitled princess, and yet here you are calling someone else a child.
It seems your hatred for me has enslaved you. feel free to release yourself from that cage anytime.

@ op, if u leave ur wife who has given u 2 kids for flimsy excuses or should i say 'lust' at ur age, then u will be a fool forever. A fool at forty is a fool forever. Do not fulfil this proverbial saying in ur live

U are a dig.. A big dog, a man with 2 kids, leaving his wife for another stupid woman..... Hmmm .U need to be floged

This guy cam here specifically for advise because he opened an anonymous profile and had only one thread(this). But as always Aficans and Nigerians only cussed and castigated; only about 3-4 people advised candidly. i even read 20-year old ask if he was truly 40 and that he acted like a child(just imagine the non entity). Educate yourselves and read below. If you have never been in this situation and cant advise sesibly then 'shut up' or research. Lets be solution oriented and not backward as always. People run here for help and don't get it most times, especially with sensitive topics as this. we should never say what we would or would not do because we honestly never know until we find ourselves in a place called "here".

http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Am-The-Other-Woman/1416116

http://www.relationshiptalk.net/regret-not-leaving-my-wife-for-the-love-of-my-life-521729.html


https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cultural-animal/200806/fathers-who-leave