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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My House Maid Has Become My Madam In My Own Home (77131 Views)
Madam & Her Maid: This Happened In The Church Today. / My Madam And Me / Barren Woman Displaced By 14-year Old House Maid From Her Home (2) (3) (4)
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Re: My House Maid Has Become My Madam In My Own Home by keeper303: 8:28am On Nov 08, 2021 |
doctor20202020: Spill it out here so that if the advice is not correct, people will object. |
Re: My House Maid Has Become My Madam In My Own Home by Ofiadiegwu: 8:29am On Nov 08, 2021 |
Madam, be happy for your maid and thank God for using you to uplift her status in life. Don't envy her new status. Every human being you see has destiny and needs another fellow human to help her/him reach that destiny. Or are you among the foolish people who thinks that as Jesus was born in a mernger He should remain in the animal feed? Be happy your father in-law found love again through your instrumentality. Aren't you happy God uses you? 1 Like |
Re: My House Maid Has Become My Madam In My Own Home by victorazy(m): 8:29am On Nov 08, 2021 |
MrPresent: Women with ego and selfishness. Abeg rejoice with the nanny |
Re: My House Maid Has Become My Madam In My Own Home by galadima77(m): 8:30am On Nov 08, 2021 |
You guys even get mind. You all should be careful what you write so we don't upset the new madam abeg...lolz |
Re: My House Maid Has Become My Madam In My Own Home by lomprico(m): 8:31am On Nov 08, 2021 |
MrPresent: you gat issues! keep this up and your husband will kick u out! is the nanny not a human being? women sef. |
Re: My House Maid Has Become My Madam In My Own Home by 77up(m): 8:31am On Nov 08, 2021 |
Biglittlelois:What i see in that write up is nothing but PRIDE and it's consequences. Only God knows what that poor woman has passed through from that arrogant woman maybe that's why she accepted the old man sef to spite her proudness, women truly hates themselves. Btw,why do I have this awkward feelings that you are the proud woman in this context
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Re: My House Maid Has Become My Madam In My Own Home by Nobody: 8:32am On Nov 08, 2021 |
Madam rest abeg, God wanted to teach u a lesson about pride. Look at the pride na , my house help is now my madam, women will always be women, abi u dey give ur husband and e fada, this one wey u dey vex for nothing |
Re: My House Maid Has Become My Madam In My Own Home by EndBuhariNow(m): 8:33am On Nov 08, 2021 |
Atulu ka ibu...... do you know that u are not even direct family member, that u are brought to the family , u have no right to say over ur dead body , if I were ur husband and u brought the issue, nah slap I go use commot ur teeth ... his children no talk nah wife they picked from poverty infected family to the family will be giving orders, were you better than the maid before he brought u out of poverty If my dad at mid 70s wishes to get second wife who will take care of him at old age, we his children will give him maximum support .... even my mother has told him to get younger wife who will take care of him, because for her, old age don come she can't be doing everything for her now, stop eyeing the man properties, nah ur type dey pitch brother against brothers |
Re: My House Maid Has Become My Madam In My Own Home by Remman(m): 8:33am On Nov 08, 2021 |
Get another Nanny... Put yourself in the shoe of that Nanny, i bet you wouldn't do any different! Learn to love her and give her respect and move on. What has happened is her destiny. Don't try to behave like Portipha to Joseph. I see your story like the story of Joseph in the Bible. Please, just accept reality. With the way you're acting, if any bad happens, you could be held responsible but God forbid. Instead, you should be her friend and stop priding yourself. This is the work of God. If you evaluate very well, your Nanny must have had a poverty experience that's why she accepted the job. Please, be her friend and move on. Pride can end you up as a Nanny tomorrow in someone else's house and you would think it's the devil's handwork but God forbid. Because trust me, something could happen and you could lose your marriage because of that Nanny. You expect father and son to fight each other or to fight on the same side against you? A lot of people are already envious of what you have. Woman, behave! Thanks.. |
Re: My House Maid Has Become My Madam In My Own Home by poiZon: 8:34am On Nov 08, 2021 |
MrPresent:So because she is a maid, she doesnt deserve good life? And this woman will be cursing our politicians for being evil and wicked with their ways, but this is exactly an example of wickedness and evil minded fellow. I'm very sure the suppose madam isn't more than 35.... If she had see the nanny as a friend or sister, she won't be angry over this. She should be happy it isnt her husbaand that impregnated the nanny but the father. If u can't cope seeing ur nanny happy, then go elsewhere so u can find happiness. |
Re: My House Maid Has Become My Madam In My Own Home by 1forall: 8:34am On Nov 08, 2021 |
MrPresent: In order to be able to deal with the situation, you should consider and analyze it from the following different perspectives: 1. Your father-in-law (FIL) demonstrated irresponsibility by his actions. He may have his reasons such as being single and lonely, and was possibly getting more attention from the maid than from anyone else before the romance kicked in, but it doesn't justify him sleeping with his son's maid in his son's matrimonial home. But unfortunately, he owns the house and probably doesn't see it so much as his son's matrimonial home, but rather as his house where his son is living with his wife and so feels he can do whatever he wants. 2. It appears you married a Daddy's boy for him to tolerate, accept and even defend his Dad's wrongdoing in his own home. Again, unfortunately, the house belongs to his Dad so it will be difficult; if not impossible, for him to see the situation objectively because he compromised already by living in his father's house. Him asking you to show respect to a staff you hired and who has worked for you for some time tells me that he is trying to please his Dad (maybe he has inheritance somewhere on his mind?). However, a concern this should present to you is that if it is acceptable to him (your husband), then maybe there is a slight chance that he could do something similar in the future. 3. The maid is an opportunist but it is difficult to blame her because in Nigeria, most people are looking for ways to improve their lives and escape poverty. From living under your roof, she saw an opportunity and grabbed it with both hands but put you in an awkward situation in the process. 4. You did not tell us the position of your husband's siblings on this matter. 5. You did not share with us how you may have contributed to the situation; deliberately or otherwise, which is another perspective to view things from. Having said all that, I should add that I understand and empathize with you on the situation you find yourself. However I believe your living situation (living with your husband and your FIL, in your FIL's house) is mainly responsible for this because: - if your father lived elsewhere and impregnated his own maid it wouldn't be such a big problem to you, - if the house was your husband's, either owned or rented, your FIL may have been reluctant to move in with you in the first place and if he did, he may have been more cautious with his affairs in YOUR house. My advise: There is no solution to this, you can only try to minimize the effects it has on you/your home since they have already paid dowry. The best mitigation step will be to separate both homes now that Papa has found a wife and loneliness is no longer a problem, and it is left to you to find a way to make that happen. My suggestions: 1. Since your FIL has many houses all over, he should move with his new wife into one of them so they can 'have their own privacy' and the new wife can 'have her own home'; afterall, they're expecting a baby. You should do all you can to prevent the baby being born into your own place though. 2. Move your home elsewhere. Encourage your husband to build/buy his own house, although I feel he may think it's unnecessary since his father has many, which is a immature mindset. And someone like him won't even be open to the idea of renting a place and being a tenant, so I wish you luck in trying to convince him to buy or build. 3. Get to terms with the situation and find ways to manage your new step-MIL because she's not going anywhere; unfortunately for you, she has become a part of your family. Your husband's compromises will force you to compromise too and the sooner you accept and deal with it, the better for you and your home. Decide on what to call her that will neither upset you, nor offend your husband and FIL. Something neutral like 'our wife', or 'iyawo', or something. Use local language. PS: I think your husband is (ignorantly) setting himself up for future problems in his own nuclear family because when Papa's time comes and God calls him home, I foresee your husband and his siblings having problems with their step-mother over inheritance. You say the family is very wealthy - will they be able to handle it when she tries to claim her husband's estate? When your FIL whom your husband is doing everything to please now is no more, that's typically when he will remember that his step-mother was only a maid who his father took from the gutter. And by that time she would have been established in the home with a grown child or children. Hopefully the Papa writes a will that meets every family member's expectations. But it won't be easy. PS2: Majority of the comments I have read here show just how low our values have sunk as a people, and it is so very unfortunate. I dare say virtually every single one of those saying it's OK will react in pretty much the same way as the OP, or even worse, if they find themselves in similar shoes. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My House Maid Has Become My Madam In My Own Home by Caseless: 8:35am On Nov 08, 2021 |
If this is not a Nollywood fantasy story, then I'd say the woman should shut up. Who is she to tell the old man where to seek happiness from? She must have maltreated the maid and fears she'd reciprocate since she has a measure of influence now and the woman is just fighting hard to keep her regret hidden by standing to oppose. Madam has a madam she employed as a maid and she might begin to take orders from the former maid. This she fears... |
Re: My House Maid Has Become My Madam In My Own Home by bukatyne(f): 8:35am On Nov 08, 2021 |
mapet: Walahi, the woman is more stupid than an idiot! As soon as Baba expressed interest in the nanny, she should have encouraged them and used that leverage to pressure her husband out of the family house. Baba's wife is already preggers: Once she puts to bed, call her 'Mummy XYZ'. |
Re: My House Maid Has Become My Madam In My Own Home by kophy(m): 8:35am On Nov 08, 2021 |
OyekuMeji:You are a baaaad guy, go do your math for ASO Villa |
Re: My House Maid Has Become My Madam In My Own Home by Admols(m): 8:36am On Nov 08, 2021 |
Biglittlelois: Going through all your comments, I suspect that you are the woman. To say that you are in a position to employ a woman like you as a nanny should be seen as God's grace, not by your doing. The woman should forget her pride and face her own family. If she is not careful, she will get sense by force but that will be after she found herself divorced. It is then she will regret her foolish actions. She should try and make peace with her husband, her in-laws and the father in law's new wife. By the way, will she kill herself had it been the nanny was married by her husband? |
Re: My House Maid Has Become My Madam In My Own Home by Solatium(m): 8:36am On Nov 08, 2021 |
MrPresent: Being a nanny is just a job,a temporary or permanent one depending on how you plan to go far in life. Being a Nanny does not make her less of a woman,she might possess better character and virtues than yourself. Do you think the 65yr old man was stupid? he got what he lacked (Good care, Companionship and sex life) and what else do you think he needs more in life other than all these? . Stop whining and accept the newly married woman as your MOTHER IN LAW or else you no go find am funny o! |
Re: My House Maid Has Become My Madam In My Own Home by redirect(m): 8:36am On Nov 08, 2021 |
LET HER BE |
Re: My House Maid Has Become My Madam In My Own Home by jornwhite: 8:37am On Nov 08, 2021 |
Adrielbradshaw: Most you are not so different from the lady, just clouded with feelings. Lets not forget the lady brought the maid to the house, its only natural for her to feel the way she is feelings, the nanny was brought to the house to take care of her home but she decided to do another things thats breach of trust & contract. If we can't rebuke the nanny then i don't see why we should crucify the wife, she is the reason the nanny enter the house more like an own goal or lets just say women know their game hence the enemity 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My House Maid Has Become My Madam In My Own Home by Funfactss: 8:37am On Nov 08, 2021 |
MrPresent:She is your maid and not your slave at least you dey pay her salary abi na you wan marry your father -inlaw |
Re: My House Maid Has Become My Madam In My Own Home by reXurrectionZA(m): 8:38am On Nov 08, 2021 |
she shouldn't have opposed the motion i feel that she should have instead insisted that they move to another building and even though shes a maid shes still a person she isn't going to serve forever she just needs to accept this |
Re: My House Maid Has Become My Madam In My Own Home by Karleb(m): 8:38am On Nov 08, 2021 |
Nothing wrong in the story. The woman should calm the Bleep down. |
Re: My House Maid Has Become My Madam In My Own Home by marsup: 8:39am On Nov 08, 2021 |
Is the nanny / maid not a human being? So because she is a maid, means she can't find love or marry into a wealthy home? You should be grateful it's not your husband who is marrying her. You better concentrate on your own family, and leave the lady to enjoy her life. You are just being jealous and paranoid, because your maid married the person with the real money. There is nothing you can do about it. Though, I know the story is fictitious. |
Re: My House Maid Has Become My Madam In My Own Home by 77up(m): 8:41am On Nov 08, 2021 |
I love this thread and for the fact that the bitter proud bitch is reading comments |
Re: My House Maid Has Become My Madam In My Own Home by SpaceAngel: 8:42am On Nov 08, 2021 |
I'll start first by addressing a particular response here How will you feel if your mother gets pregnant for your driver and end up marrying him In the woman's context, i'll rephrase it to, How will you feel if your mother in-Law gets pregnant for your driver and end up marrying him.. It's not your business, who your in-law marries or falls in love , moreover the direct child that is married to you for reasons known to him, knows the implication but you don't. You are just and in-law and possibly not on the same social level with your husband's family. You've made a very grave mistake by not going for the wedding because your father in-law stooped to low to marry your house help. It's better you amend your ways fast and do as your husband said. Addressing by the her name that your husband suggested doing so doesn't mean much if you are not arrogant. Sorry might be to difficult for you to say but it is the way forward in your own interest Remember , she's on a higher level to you or even your husband now, so be very careful as your foolishness will mess up both you and your husband if you choose to thread the path of stupidity and ego. I see you messing up your life over ego. The sooner you understand that you are now irrelevant depending on how you play politics the better for you as you can reverse whatever ego problems you have caused yourself now even if you treated her bad in the past. Word of advice, don't look down on any human being, cause today you maybe down and tomorrow up. If you've visited the morgue, you'll know that there no class. |
Re: My House Maid Has Become My Madam In My Own Home by rayval(m): 8:44am On Nov 08, 2021 |
Honestly, you are a bad person.. why are you so possessive of the lady..'my own maid'.. It is shameless and irritating. Just look at the positive side of things and stop being a goat. Get another maid and be happy you changed her life... Because she is a maid doesn't make her less of a person. She is doing a job and you are paying her for it. You didn't buy her life neither do you own it... know you boundaries and drop you useless ego. And your friends are also useless. Change them |
Re: My House Maid Has Become My Madam In My Own Home by BarrElChapo(m): 8:44am On Nov 08, 2021 |
Biglittlelois: But the woman isn't a biological child of the man. His son (her husband) doesn't have a problem (even if he is pretending) so she isn't permitted to have a feeling on this issue going by your logic cos it's not like she's seeing it from anyone's angle other than hers which is clearly selfish. So she better fall in line |
Re: My House Maid Has Become My Madam In My Own Home by creepsyme(f): 8:44am On Nov 08, 2021 |
MrPresent:My dear life is a roller coaster, I see nothing wrong with this. It all depends on how you handle it, you should be happy for your nanny and not get jealous or throw tantrums here and there like a child. I am sure if it were to be your father you would be very happy for him. Work on your mentally and everything will be fine. |
Re: My House Maid Has Become My Madam In My Own Home by fattprince(m): 8:45am On Nov 08, 2021 |
crafteck:It's not easy, but let everyone move on already. I mean she's human too. What if the maid went to the supermarket and met a richer man her status would still be elevated. I understand, best thing for her is to show her mother-in-law respect and demand respect from her too and let the world continue to spin. Well time heals all wound. With time she will be alright. |
Re: My House Maid Has Become My Madam In My Own Home by jornwhite: 8:46am On Nov 08, 2021 |
cooooooks: i don't think she would beat up herself dis much if she had not being the one that brought the nanny into that house. imagine doing an own goal ... like you score in your own net. 3 Likes |
Re: My House Maid Has Become My Madam In My Own Home by badliman: 8:49am On Nov 08, 2021 |
It just funny how this woman can't let go of her ego for once, it shows how insensitive you are very selfish. You have a father in law under your roof whom lost his wife about a decades back but you are so busy with your own life and never thought maybe he is lonely. Now the man has found happiness you feeling so entitle. Who are you in that house self. Are you not just an ordinary wife married to the same man money, or what background do you have, that you felt a nanny cannot have such. Infact is better you accept and straighten up your relationships 1 Like |
Re: My House Maid Has Become My Madam In My Own Home by smasher1(m): 8:50am On Nov 08, 2021 |
MrPresent: In life, how God does things may not be how we want it. But take it, that's the new reality or you'll soon be out of that marriage. God can lift anyone up and bring anyone down. |
Re: My House Maid Has Become My Madam In My Own Home by josilcool(m): 8:50am On Nov 08, 2021 |
You better be careful because if anything negative happen to that lady and baby in her womb, you will be hold responsible and it will greatly affect your marriage |
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