Loving someone and being "in love" can be two entirely different matters. We love many people. We may love our parents, our children, our friends, our co-workers, our neighbors. When we love someone, we care about their welfare, we show an interest in what they say and do, and we may be willing to listen to their tales of stress and woe.

So, how do we know if someone loves us, like a friend, or if that person loves us in a passionate way? How do we know if this person's love is merely platonic or is filled with passionate longing? And does that passion determine whether someone is "in love" with us?

Love is an elusive and actually very private state of mind. One person can be touchy-feel, emotionally expressive, profusely declaring their love for us yet their actions might be telling us something different. Another person might be very reserved physically, unwilling to make a display of touching, especially in public places. This person might also be very reserved in their expression of love through words. The first person described might appear to be passionately in love with you while the second person might be seen as a cold, uncaring person. But the proof may appear in some unexpected way.

Here are some thoughts about how to discern the difference between someone who says they love you and someone who is truly "in love" with you.

- An obvious example of someone who may be verbally expressing love but not really feeling the love is a partner who chooses to not spend time with you but manages to meet with friends and family and co-workers and others during non-working hours.

- An obvious example of someone who love you is that the person not only takes an interest in you, your work issues, and your habits but also calls you just to talk, just to hear your voice and connect.
Someone who loves you tends to look at you with loving eyes, even when you are not looking back.

- A person who loves you will attempt to put your best interests at heart and will look to protect you, provide for you, soothe you and even understand your point of view.

- A person who does not really love you may criticize you to his or her friends and family, avoid looking directly into your eyes, choose his or her friends before you - even when you are sick and in real need.

- You can hear the love in a person's voice and you can see it in their eyes and their body language - if you are really listening and observing.

Love endures over time. Lust passes quickly, often within in a few short months. So don't be fooled by an initial show of attention, interest and passion. This may subside quickly as the person begins to feel comfortable with you, when the challenge to win you over has lessened, and this person's true interests and needs come to the surface.

Sometimes, however, love brings up anything unlike itself for the purpose of healing and release. Therefore, you may note a spark of that loving feeling, a glimpse of that look in your partner's eyes. With patience and continued love and communication on your part, you may be able to unravel whatever resistance your partner is showing. This process may take quite awhile. Only you can know if you feel that the love is there and that the love is real. Only you can decide if it is worth hanging in there to bring the love out of someone whose love is not so readily apparent. Love is still an elusive mystery. All you can really do is to find love, give love, and develop a wait and see attitude as you strive to develop mutual, long lasting love.

You would feel it personally... The experience is just one of the best in the world.

It's unfortunate that more than average people won't experience true love in their life time