Privatepart00:


Manipulation in progress
Heaven doesn’t grant such wishes
You planned this all along , all the epistle of doing buying and selling hold no water , still your way of achieving the plan. He borrows you the money ? Which you wished he was dashing out instead of borrowing lol. All this faculty of Arts female students trying to raise their shoulder so high.There’s nothing so unique you did for him , all trying to force your way into the family.
You don’t pressure a man to keep a pregnancy which he told you from day one , he is isn’t ready for , you are against abortion? But you ain’t against fornication? Choosing the one that suit your plan.
With the names mentioned so far , I am sure I know this people .
Victor please stand your ground . A lady doesn’t know her cycle ? Fallacy of the highest . If you allow her manipulation get hold of you, I am sorry for you. Why some Imo state girls always like this? They already know because of their list many people run away from there . I have someone like this just that I don’t even her the chance to come close.
Saying she doesn’t mind staying in the family house at Enugu is all a ploy . The young man doesn’t need the pressure from your manipulation, allowing selfish interest to cloud your eyes .

Nemesis0147:
I see no biggie here
Since she wants to have the baby,,,let her keep the child na.
She won’t be the first woman to become a baby mama and definitely won’t be the last.

Make person na trap you with marriage if you aren’t ready.....it is obvious she is not a good girl and there is a chance that her love and care are just pretense to make you do the needful and you were wasting time,,,so she had to do it her own way

Ishilove:

Have you asked her if she is ready to grow with you?

Let me give you my candid opinion based on all you have written and the impression I am getting.

Your girlfriend is naive and I have a feeling she is in her early 20s. I may be wrong about her age though, but that's the impression I'm getting.

She seems to be more enamored with the idea of marriage and not marriage itself.

She is not on the same page with you on the issue of finances. This is going to create problems in your marriage because what she is expecting is not what you will give her, vis a vis a lifestyle funded by your family's wealth.

Her greatest ambition in life is to be a wife. I'm not sure she has thought much about life after becoming an MRS. I doubt if she has really thought deep and hard about where she will be in ten years time.

Is she ready to support the family with part of the proceeds from her business? Is she ready to make sacrifices that come with marriage?

You will secretly resent her for pressuring you into marriage. This resentment will sometimes be voiced out when those inevitable arguments about money and budgetary spending crop up.

At the end of the day, we, your Nairaland in-laws will not be there to suffer or enjoy with you the attendant ramifications of whatever decision you choose to take so I can only say this:

You are on your own.

Uche1993:
Please I was just going tru the comments and I am tagged as a materialistic person. Please I am not, the only time I have asked for so much more was to buy an iPhone so I can be taking good pictures of my perfumes he gave me 80k and I added my own 100k, also the business he said he started for me, we are on a contract example my last purchase was a total of 170k he gave me 150k and I added my own 20k and from this 150k he gave me I have paid back 122k and what I am owing him is 28k I have not finished selling the perfumes, with whatever I sell I give him money until my debt is complete this is how we work, we only had a money once plus the 28k I am owing him about 34k this is because my sister was in need and I used it to help her out, I promised to pay back even with this pregnancy issue I have your access bank account I maybe late in my payment but a promise is a promise and I will definitely pay back. I am more than grateful to you for supporting my business even tho it’s based on borrow but not many people can do this, when I started cryptocurrency you supported me I am grateful.

But I am proud to say that I am very very supportive and not materialistic, I asked mister victor to go and learn a trade about car parts or house, even if he leaves the country he can then be importing and still be making money.

He put me on an allowance of 5k weekly, aside from this money I have never asked him for any other money (please Victor if I am lieing tell the whole world) never asked for food, clothe, internet subscription, hair nothing at all I make use of this money and even buy him things once in awhile I still have savings with PiggyVest please how am I a bad person.

I asked him to introduce me to his mother, on my part it was not a big deal and I needed it for assurance. I am a very beautiful girl and with a good shape and intelligent, I get request from men on a daily basis, but never have I cheated on victor Infact ask him I do tell men that I am married just so they can leave me alone and to avoid cheating, I don’t collect money from them nothing at all. I have been totally faithful to victor it breaks my heart this morning that he told me that the child is not his own, I have his voice recording denying the child, DNA test would be very okay with me to verify this I don’t mind. I introduced him to my mum because in my family my mum is like our best friend to me and my sister’s, we relate like sisters so it’s more like I was excited to show off my boyfriend to my mum and sister no big deal.

He said I lied about my menstural cycle, lol he know I don’t remember things very well that is why I have an app that records my flow and predicts the next flo also my ovulation too, it was just once at the beginning stage I got angry when he asked me about it but since then I have been open like a book to him about everything he has access to my two phones he checks on my flo app whenever so please victor how did I lie. December period was it not one of the worst months of our relationship I even asked for a break up before my mum intervened how then will I ask for a break up and still plot to carry your child, how victor.

Since 12-1am you woke me up I have been crying I can’t go back to sleep, never in my life did I think victor you will do this to me, if I was asked to swear for you I would. I blocked my mum and sister on call and on WhatsApp because I can’t bear to keep hearing my mother cry and my sister disappointment.


All I asked is to perform the igbo rite, I am from imo and our list is long but I asked victor to come let us plan this out, I was there when my sister did her trad her husband did not do everything on the list we can simply present what we have but at least we have done something, and our child will have your name and two parents.


Please if you are a woman reading this or a doctor, I have been experiencing stinging pains in my tummy and my back hurts, please is it normal. I don’t have friends to talk to I can’t talk to my mum and sister I am ashamed to talk to them, obviously I can’t talk to victor, please I need help is this pain normal, it’s more painful on the lower part of my tummy.

ThierryJay:


Spot on. I feel the guy wants his fiance to be financially independent and savvy before marriage and he seriously feels the fact that she manipulated him to get pregnant shows that she isnt on the same page with him regarding their collective financial ambition as you've said in your comment.

In one of her responses, she mentioned he was still a millionaire even after discounting his father's wealth and this suggests that she was truly keeping an eye on his financial status and not hers, in her assessment of his readiness for marriage.

The OP is conflicted between following his heart and doing the honorable thing as many would expect. So he decides that if he marries her against his heart and to her ultimate ambition, he would deny her that joy of victory by punishing her psychologically as well as financially for slowing down his financial progression. This is why he is warning her of what would follow in their marriage.

I would say that both of them are not mentally compatible, even though the lady appears to be a very good girl and wife material. The pregnancy issue is on both of them and not just the girl. However, this not an immovable basis for marriage to automatically follow.

Michelle55:

You're advising him when the marriage has already packed up.
The said girl said she's 21 and the only thing she keeps hammering on is marriage, she hasn't even made mention of how to build her life positively and how to achieve financial stability without the help of op, omo Ishi na siddon look I dey this year with all these relationships brouhaha wey dey happen everyday for nairaland.
If they know how dey take arrive at this junction with belle on top make dem continue laidat.

Ishilove:

.

ThierryJay:


Tbh, this your comment pass my understanding Ishi.

obinna58:
You never hear say pride, discipline, self control works hand to hand
With all the pride you're still at this level with someone's help
With all your ego you're a mere driver
With all your pride she tricked you like mumu
With all your holding ground E no hold sperm, you're the one blocked and complaining.


You better humble yourself and plan life well
Don't get trapped into marriage but you need to up your game
You shared a problem but here your have a bigger problem you should be worried about but no you chose a mere woman matter, yet again your ego, pride failed you

Uche1993:

Please if you are a woman reading this or a doctor, I have been experiencing stinging pains in my tummy and my back hurts, please is it normal. I don’t have friends to talk to I can’t talk to my mum and sister I am ashamed to talk to them, obviously I can’t talk to victor, please I need help is this pain normal, it’s more painful on the lower part of my tummy.

Snok58:


I want to marry her. I set up a business for her bearing in mind for her to grow to be able to support a family. I detest a dependent partner.

I have applied for good jobs with my masters and I'm waiting for a better placement. As of today, I'm not financially capable of marriage, tomorrow might change but I'm a perssimist let it change first then I plan with that.

Ishilove:

I was catching vibes of early 20s naivety from his post.

Wo, make all of them getat. Love is blind but na inside marriage eye dey clear.

The girl sef that is a final year University student is writing like a JSS3 student. I could even write better when I was in JSS 3.

Uche1993:



Thank you for your kind contribution, as the case maybe it’s already resolved and we don’t need him he is relived of any responsibility. More important than his money I begged him to be there for me as a human being I was in pain this morning but where was he. If he sends any money to my account it will be sent back to him with immediate effect. I am not his responsibility neither is my child. We don’t know him according to him he asked me to tell the child when he/she grows up that he is dead so be it, he also said he hopes it’s a girl child so that she will not inherit any of his properties. He also warned me severely that if he marries me that he will hate me and the child because I destroyed his life not only that my blood runs in the child too and I should get ready to suffer in the marriage and entertain many women, that he promises me that he will marry again someone else. With all this I don’t know what I did, I thought we loved each other but I am speechless but I thank God for my family. I am not his responsibility I belong to my family me and my child, he said I should give birth to the child in my father’s house and give the child my father’s name, his will will be done!

Ishilove:

Have you asked her if she is ready to grow with you?

Let me give you my candid opinion based on all you have written and the impression I am getting.

Your girlfriend is naive and I have a feeling she is in her early 20s. I may be wrong about her age though, but that's the impression I'm getting.

She seems to be more enamored with the idea of marriage and not marriage itself.

She is not on the same page with you on the issue of finances. This is going to create problems in your marriage because what she is expecting is not what you will give her, vis a vis a lifestyle funded by your family's wealth.

Her greatest ambition in life is to be a wife. I'm not sure she has thought much about life after becoming an MRS. I doubt if she has really thought deep and hard about where she will be in ten years time.

Is she ready to support the family with part of the proceeds from her business? Is she ready to make sacrifices that come with marriage?

You will secretly resent her for pressuring you into marriage. This resentment will sometimes be voiced out when those inevitable arguments about money and budgetary spending crop up.

At the end of the day, we, your Nairaland in-laws will not be there to suffer or enjoy with you the attendant ramifications of whatever decision you choose to take so I can only say this:

You are on your own.

Uche1993:



I guess you skipped the part where I said I am fully ready to give him money to add and leave the country. Please have I not tried on my own just so my child will have a father. Chill let me see if I can upload a picture of the message he sent to me this early morning, my nairaland in-law.

Uche1993:
This is his message to me early this morning.

Snok58:


I was pissed and I am still pissed.

Let me tell everyone about my plans and how much you have disrupted it. By October my investment in kenfarms matured with about 10m. The farm is in crisis now. This was my first disappointment.

I move, bought a car of 1.6m with the remaining small savings I had, I started uber in August and I planned to recoup the money. I decided to stash the remaining in a legit investment, I opted for about 2.5m to be 3m in a year. I just kept about 100k for my daily expenses and my uber supports my business. The day I told her I invested she was not happy, selfishly talking about opening a shop. I told her I'll support her business from my uber.

Then she can attest to the fact we planned trad by this year end, at least I'll have some money remaining from my investment.

How much can this go now she's pregnant and I have to set up a family, wedding and upkeep and I have limited time and pressure, who won't be livid?

Can she tell the house how much she has to support this new status, I'll be surprised if it's up to 100k. Vicky you have no plan. I started saving from 200k in my nysc days, I've done ntb, fixed deposit, digital agriculture, uber and catfish business just to compound my inflow.

All in all, I'm trying to liquidate my investment and loose the interest and I'm also trying to figure out a monthly fee to pay.

But Victoria, will you be assertive without this pregnancy? Bring your financial books so our inlaws will judge your preparedness.

Oyin2212:

Wow this is actually wisdom