It is very important for the Husband to be present

apparently some people feel its not by force by force.

I was there when my wife gave birth. I even assisted the doctor and the nurse.I encouraged her to push holding her hands. She really appreciated it. I witnessed all the pain, thank God for women. it's a great experience

yes ooo!no b by force.it doent mean i love u or i dont,so whats the point.some said it will create a bond.just so it happens that it was an effortless birth with no screaming the wot happens ummm,

nice thread, it has really made a lot of you guys show your true colours, chicken ! , but anyways, personally i would love to have my husband in the labour room with me, though the guy in question has vehemently protested against it, is he chicken too? maybe in this regard , he's really very brave but says he wont be able to stand the sight of me in pain and bleeding.infact anybody in pain! so i guess i will just let him be.i know he loves me and will be praying me through it all, but guys make una try brace up to it jare,wetin dey there! what a woman can do, fill in the missing gaps

HOLDIN her hand and showing how much u care is important to a father of a new born baby,

enkae:

nice thread, it has really made a lot of you guys show your true colours, chicken ! , but anyways, personally i would love to have my husband in the labour room with me, though the guy in question has vehemently protested against it, is he chicken too? maybe in this regard , he's really very brave but says he wont be able to stand the sight of me in pain and bleeding.infact anybody in pain! so i guess i will just let him be.i know he loves me and will be praying me through it all, but guys make una try brace up to it jare,wetin dey there! what a woman can do, fill in the missing gaps

She should do it and stop nagging. Afterall thats why she has the womb.

@topic
My opinion still stands. Handle your bussiness. You ladies make a fuss out of everything. Like some ladies have said, it should not be a must. First they started with men must cook. Then they moved to men must do house chores, then to men and women are equal, then nowwe must be in the labor room with them. This is not african. Back in the dayz, the men will be sitted somewhere having a drink with other men whilst the midwives and other mothers handle the childbirth aspect. If my wife bases our love on my presence in the labor room, then it just wont work. I believe Oprah and their likes are to blame for this rubbish. Our ancestor must be rollin over in there graves.

let them keep on rolling o. they aint going nowhere anyways.

About being there with your wife/partner,it helps her feel safe knowing that your there,whether we admit it or not. Your being there gives us a sense of security you can't imagine.Why do you think a woman jumps behind her man when she's scared? It's cos she trusts you to help her. Brothers, that woman is not trying to be a pain in the neck(even if she screams) blive me on that one. so pls try to be more helpful .

I Agree with u completely nefer-aton.

Have u had a child before?

Not yet ralvy,it's just that i'v got loads of friends who say stuff to me like, "If he wasn't there,I don't know what I would've done". It's something to be proud of knowing that she has your respect too,not just the love

Esss says that men in the delivery room is not an African sensibility.  Perhaps such is the case.  I don't live in Africa, so I can only respect whatever that case may be. 

However, such a determination misses the point.  Many ideas were "NIH" (not invented here) but have come to be embraced by those in any of a number of other places.  And please consider that traditions do change.  Very little is carved in stone, so to speak. 

Please know that I'm not singling you out, Esss, nor do I have contentiousness with others who feel as you do.  As noted, I greatly respect other ways of thinking.  Rather, many of us who have a particular way of thinking simply seek to better understand other ideas. 

In other words, I always consider that[i] I [/i] might be wrong.

i have a child and believe me delivery is such a clinical procedure.
the nurses and doctors have seen this procedure so many times that the whole process for them is just a job.just another night in the ward. when a woman is in labor she is vulnerable. people are racing back and forth around her passing instruments and stuff as though they are in a lab. it only takes the one person who is concerned about her welfare to make it more bearable. seriously no one says that person should be your husband. some people would rely on the strength of their mums. my sister had my mom with her for her first 2kids. her husband wasnt around.

that being said, witnessing a birth is a miracle.especially if the child is yours. most men i know would not give up the singular honor of cutting that umbilical cord. wouldnt for go that experience for a bag of gold. its almost a right!  but unfortunately men in naija are still denied accessed to delivery rooms in many hospitals for "cultural reasons"

my husband missed the birth of our baby. this was despite all our planning. i didnt make an issue about it or beat him up about it. i knew it pained him even more than it did me.  i guess some things are just not meant to be.   he has promised me that for the second (if there's a second! we are still negotiating that one) he will move the heavens if need be to get there in time.

i know how i felt in that labour room. all the bizarre thoughts going through my head in that moment. my soul was crying for him.

damn, that was deep, spoilt. if only some men know how much it means to be there at the delivery. and some fools here are talking culture. culture my ass. whatever happened to just doing something because it feels right? and put aside the whole masculinity crap aside. i'd certainly feel empty and alone if i had to go through a birth without my man beside me. in spoilt's case, her husband couldn't be there due to circumstances beyond his control, but others that are giving excuses that they shouldn't be there, what bullcrap!

I'm not surprised milady here is playing the "if you love me you'll be there" card. 

and just because a few heads here don't agree whole-heartedly with you, you decide to call them "fools," typical. 

women, can't live without them.

Wherever i am in the world, the day my wife to be wants to give birth i must be there, it is a must, i just have to be there, i just have to console her so to ease her pain

spaceworld:

Wherever i am in the world, the day my wife to be wants to give birth i must be there, it is a must, i just have to be there, i just have to console her so to ease her pain

Awww. . .that's soo sweet!

Would love to be there. Might pass out though (can't stand the sight of any other person's blood but mine), but would still be there just for moral support. When the baby is old enough, I can say, "I born you"! And also the mom will feel like super woman, when I'm screaming more than she is.
Hopefully the doctors don't kick me out.

i hope my husband will be with me,althrou most nigerian hospital do not allow it

i will love to have my hubby there too but i know my fiance and he will faith dead away at the sight of blood even his own. infact by the first yell he will already me greeen in the face. thou i think just seeing him go through that for me will help me alot during the labor.

its not a bad idea, at first i tot i wouldnt be able to go through it cos each time i watch T.V and i see a pregnant1
woman in pains i just change the channel fast!!!!
But God gave me the courage to be there with my wife just two weeks ago when we had our first baby (a boy)
pls guys be there with your wife, its soooooo romantic but just forgive all her beatings,

congrats! it feels good to be a daddy. doesnt it?

Well i had to laugh out loud when uncle bros posted that you will have to forgive her beatings.


Well all said and done, everyone has a right to his or her own opinions, those that want their husbands there and those that wont be there at all and so on, thats why we are individuals.
Initially when i started reading this thread, i felt like he must be there , why not?Coincidentally i was chatting with my fiance on yahoo so i just poped in the question stylishly and he said hell NO, only if i want to kill him, that he can't stand the whole sight of blood and pains and agony and that does not mean he loves me less. I advise all the girls insisting their husbands will follow them to find out if he is willing to, i think its best when the guy is willing and not a case of forcing the guy based on the ''we are in this together factor''. You know they say you can only force a horse to the river you can't force it to drink water.
Just be sure it is what he wants so you wont become repulsive to him after the whole thing, as for me i know i wont have my husband beside me during childbirth, and most definately i don't want him dead too because he said the whole thing might kill him,its all good as long as i still have all is love and attention afterwards.You know the baby will be needing its father afterwards.
Anyhow you have your baby, the most important thing is a lovely child and the means to take care of the child, i wish everyone all the best during this phase we have to go through in life. ONE LOVE

aysometin:

Well i had to laugh out loud when uncle bros posted that you will have to forgive her beatings.


Well all said and done, everyone has a right to his or her own opinions, those that want their husbands there and those that wont be there at all and so on, thats why we are individuals.
Initially when i started reading this thread, i felt like he must be there , why not?Coincidentally i was chatting with my fiance on yahoo so i just poped in the question stylishly and he said hell NO, only if i want to kill me, that he can't stand the whole sight of blood and pains and agony and that does not mean he loves me less. I advise all the girls insisting their husbands will follow them to find out if he is willing to, i think its best when the guy is willing and not a case of forcing the guy based on the ''we are in this together factor''. You know they say you can only force a horse to the river you can't force it to drink water.
Just be sure it is what he wants so you wont become repulsive to him after the whole thing, as for me i know i wont have my husband beside me during childbirth, and most definately i don't want him dead too because he said the whole thing might kill him,its all good as long as i still have all is love and attention afterwards.You know the baby will be needing its father afterwards.
Anyhow you have your baby, the most important thing is a lovely child and the means to take care of the child, i wish everyone all the best during this phase we have to go through in life. ONE LOVE

its ok to do things inspite of yourself.
you are not in the labor room because you enjoy the sight of blood and amniotic fluid and you want to watch a woman travailing. or to watch an epistiomy being done. you are there to give support to your woman because she needs you. even morticians still make love to their wives with gusto so who are these guys bleating about being turned off forever and ever?

99.9% of women will like their hobby to be around during child birth. i would love to be there too, if not for this stupid phobia i'm having for blood and agonising women.

Guys have you noticed some loser named KOBE this individual sure is the dumbest creature ever.

I would love him to be there but i know myself even now when he's around me i behave so mushy mushy,i might be like that and won't push well so for me he might stay out except he insists.

nefer-aton i wish there where more guys like you not like dumb heads like kobe and his likes.[/color][color=#990000][/color][color=#990000][/color][color=#990000][/color][color=#990000][/color][color=#990000][/color][color=#990000]

My hubby and I are both brown/dark skinned.

Our first child was verrry light skinned with straight hair.

If my hubby was not there to see the baby come out - I would have thought the nurses switched my baby with someone else's.

BTW: My son is a Spitting image of my husband now and my hubby explained that his grandfather was HALF African/Asian-Indian and maybe that's where the light skinned gene came from.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm, is that right?

I'd love to be there, though i heard its not such a prety sight