I have Netflix, boom player, tik tok, vidmate to download and stream benny hinn's teachings, Audio bible, play list of spirit songs to get me in the spirit.(my life depends on it.)

Been in a serious relationship with a girl of my dreams which is kind of unfortunate cus it shattered the long nurtured dream of having a soulmate. You know this dream u rr being fed that you would eventually find that special girl after going tru fire and tapping into the most acrobatic displays of words and actions like you see in movies just to get that one special girl and the love wud forever after be sweetness overload. For my friend Tayo, he suddenly got a distress call around 10pm from this girl that she was in an accident, dude had to hop on a moving trailer(he was broke) to get to her place to save his princess, (he later narrated how he jumped down from d moving vehicle rolling on d floor with minor bruises, like in action movies nah). Dude came back with 14k debt. But thats doesnt matter cus he eventually got d girl.

So back to the point.... I got the woman of my dreams but she has been a torn in my flesh, women (im referring to the good ones) are so so irrational in thinking, they re so ungrateful, if anything goes wrong, i.e she smashes her phone without you having anything to do with that incident, you better just automatically take the blame for it otherwise you re worst than a sinner.
I believe the problem we guys have is not the devil, nor buhari but mostly women. A guy would go out to hustle 2k head pan only to flush it on urgent 3k. Talk of paying bride price, renting a better apartment above ur budget, starting a business for her, her mum getting sick and suddenly moving into the house.... Etc. Infact im getting pissed off like this like this. And God forbid u get married to sn like Funke Akindele.

I don't hate women and i know that i can't do without them, infact there's an overriding fact that women gives men unspeakable joy but there is more pressing believe that i am far far better off without these creatures. Kind of a paradox or ying yang thing? Lol me sef  d thing dey confuse me.

So with my mobile phone, i get all the good feelings i want mhen. Im a welder and currently not on job. My friends wud hangout with their babes while i literally lock myself in the room morning till night with my phone, speaker and 2 powerbanks. Nothing outside world (not even death) matters to me anymore. Everything happening around me is like they re happening on another planet. I cud literally go tru fire and i wudnt even notice as long as my fone is with me.

So that brought up my question that if i died, wud i have a phone, Internet and a good sound system in heaven?

The holy book says you'll be saying.. "Hallelujah" till eternity.

I think there'll be porn in hell.. you are better off going there bruh

You go get laptop also, including the latest IPhone, but in hell that is