Troubledman:
But everyone is on me. I'm the woman beater. Domestic violence.

Honestly, I'm just tired of this marriage. I married for peace this woman gives me trouble everyday. I chose to stay in the living room for peace tonight. She brought her madness to meet me.
I agree I messed up. I perhaps shouldn't have hit her. I regret it. It's going to go with me. But I was too pushed. She continues to do this knowing I wouldn't talk and st the time I believed that's the only thing she'd respond too. I know this could probably get me a lot of hate but I'm also hoping someone could see reason in what's happening

Im sorry it's so long. I didn't think about it. I just created this account and started writing. Apologies for likely typos too

Troubledman:
So this night. I did a horrible thing. I stuck my wife thrice on her back. Yes, I know it's horrible and I should be burnt at the stake. And I am truly sorry for it but... There's always s back story.

I went through university without ever getting into a fight. I swore of physical violence since 2005. I havent raised my hands at anyone ever. Not to defend myself. Not to fight. In those years. I don't even let people fight aroujd me. I am known everywhere as the peace keeper. Which is why I feel very horrible about my action tonight.

Since we got married. I have noticed this trait of aggression in the person I married. Always quick to anger and insults everytime. In the last couple of days. We've had course to stay with my mum.

Earlier in the day. We were arguing about something (not so important to be honest) and my mum remarked that we should do better that were a new couple and we shouldn't be arguing like this all the time. She even joked that she was going to buy a cane for both of us.

Barely 2 mins later another discussion came up and this lady started raising her voice again. This time in full view of my mum. I just kept telling her please take it easy, take it easy. I even mentioned to her that this was what mummy was just telling us about. She would not bulge. Eventually my mum chipped in and said to me to keep quiet. So I did. When she finished shouting she stood up and left for the room.

After a while , my mother went into the room to talk to her. Even asked her not to be annoyed. Invited her to eat. She brought the food to me but I was too annoyed to eat. How is my wife shouting at me in front of my mum ? So I walked away, went out for a stroll. When I came back. She was in the room, she I stayed back in the living room. She came to me, started telling me that I should not let her be angry at me, changing the story that I was shouting at her earlier and she didn't say a word, I was livid but this didn't tip me. I just told her off and went back to do my work. She came back again started off another tirade in the middle of the night btw and ended it with saying "your mother is responsible for this"

Now, that's what made me mad. From the start I have warned my family not to interfere in mine. Not my dad or my mum have ever told me or directed me on how to do in my marriage to her. I imagine that because her display was in public today that's why my mum commented. Even on Wednesday she was talking to me harshly in the car and my mum was there and she never talked.

So anyway I stood up from where I was went to meet her and struck her about 3 times in the back warning her never to involve My mother in our talk again.

Then she shouted screaming at 2 am. Cursing me. Mt mum came out to even try to calm her down. She turned to my mum as well. Saying she knows what she'll say. That she supports me etc. Even when the poor woman didnt say anything. She's gone off now. Milking it. Saying I beat her. Should I add that she came back slapped me square on the face, hit my chest. Even dragged my mother to the floor

But everyone is on me. I'm the woman beater. Domestic violence.

Honestly, I'm just tired of this marriage. I married for peace this woman gives me trouble everyday. I chose to stay in the living room for peace tonight. She brought her madness to meet me.

I agree I messed up. I perhaps shouldn't have hit her. I regret it. It's going to go with me. But I was too pushed. She continues to do this knowing I wouldn't talk and st the time I believed that's the only thing she'd respond too. I know this could probably get me a lot of hate but I'm also hoping someone could see reason in what's happening

Im sorry it's so long. I didn't think about it. I just created this account and started writing. Apologies for likely typos too

TroubledMan

Stallionhorse:

If nah me she for dey hospital now.. Push my mum to the floor.. Lol.. That's where the marriage ends I'll beat the bride price I paid out of her that night then bundle her injured body to her family house.

Troubledman:
So this night. I did
TroubledMan

Stallionhorse:
Leave the marriage but first get her pregnant so your money nd efforts wouldn't be a waste.. Peace of mind is the best gift in this world and if your wife can't give you that run for your life.
If nah me she for dey hospital now.. Push my mum to the floor.. Lol.. That's where the marriage ends I'll beat the bride price I paid out of her that night then bundle her injured body to her family house.

Sucre6:

The best way to deal with a woman is, whenver she's ranting don't say sh!t, just carry your phone and start pressing it , or start doing stuff but don't u ever respond to her, she will eventually tire her self out and walk away or sleep off ,

Buddy, I understand you .. just a reminder that this whole thing is not planned or scripted?...U can't tell a possible reaction to an action... what if she snatches the phone and smashed it just to dare you for ignoring her, what will be the solution to that?

Sucre6:
There is a friction between you both, a negative energy at that, you both may not be compatible after all.


I can really understand the fact that you have endured alot from her, but the best way to tame a woman is,


Whenever she is angry about something and talking, talking, talking, she wants you to talk back, so that she uses your comment as a fuel to engage you in further and unnecessary talks, you will eventually break and make a mistake out of anger and say something u weren't suppose to, then she capitalizes on the mistake and that's more reasons for her to talk some more, that's a circle that never ends ,
The best way to deal with a woman is, whenver she's ranting don't say sh!t, just carry your phone and start pressing it, or start doing stuff but don't u ever respond to her, she will eventually tire her self out and walk away or sleep off ,


After sometimes, with a smile on your face call her, say this to her, oga food never ready abi we no go chop today?? huge her from the back and never bring up the topic that lead to you both nagging like co wives, do this and be consistent about it, women don't like men that talks as much as u do, you talk too much bro, imagine you nagging and settling issues always between you and two other women, your mum and wife, grow some hairy balls bro

Richy4:

This whole thing is not planned or scripted you know?.. what if she snatched the phone and smashes it just to dare you for ignoring her, what will be the solution to that?

Troubledman:


Hmmm. I read all the comments. I deserve all the bashing and more. I do not excuse hitting her, I just called her father now to apologize and confess for hitting her but I told the whole story. Everyone is aware of her aggressive nature. Everytjme he talks to her, its always to tell her to take it easy. I'm also vindicated in the fact that I called her close friend about 3 days to report her. I'm not proud of it but this lady makes my life hell.

Ironically. She doesn't have big boobs or breasts. I decided to marry her because I heard her story and like me she'd been through a lot. I thought that would make use both mature, understand how life works and know how to manage situations but that hasn't been the case.

I walked away, I left. I stayed elsewhere. I gave her space. She came to meet me where I was repeatedly. It was the middle of the night. I couldn't leave the house. I gave as much space as I can. She kept pushing. But that's no excuse. I Bleep up I know.

She left rhis morning. Continued insulting us.

Sucre6:


The phone pressing is just one way, there are other stuff u can do, why don't u dress up and go for a walk, I personally love driving very late in town at night, it give me peace of mine, might not be going anywhere, just drive around the empty road with a cool breeze pouring on your face and radio stations playing cool jams to go with, I know this because that's what I use to do when my babe would just pick up unnecessary quarrel,

I would just dress up and drive out, even if Nah 2am I don't care, after one hour and I wasn't back she will start calling like 999 times, I won't pick, she will go to WhatsApp to drop long apology voice note begging me to come back and how sorry she is

It got to a point, when ever she wants to talk to me about something bordering her, she will use a very cool voice and a puppy eyes make I no just perceive unnecessary anger and aggression from her, I will just wear cloth and off I go.

You gotta place here where she belong, she got to acknowledge me and me alone, two majors can't captain a ship, it's either me or me. You gotta make that clear, define issues and create boundaries

Richy4:


OK... Just checking.. if going out in the middle of the night works for you man, that is cool..

There are whole lot of things that can happen to an individual at that hour especially if one is not mobile.... Besides, most hotel or motels might not even agree to open their Gates for fears of the unknown...

It's just a tricky situation for anyone that resides in Nigeria I believe.. I wish I have something more to say to OP.. he will become really skinny in no distant time..

Sucre6:


Yeah I get you, it's really à whole lot, man and woman issue especially husband and wife need alot of critical thinking to handle, it's not for the weak really.

Sucre6:
There is a friction between you both, a negative energy at that, you both may not be compatible after all.


I can really understand the fact that you have endured alot from her, but the best way to tame a woman is,


Whenever she is angry about something and talking, talking, talking, she wants you to talk back, so that she uses your comment as a fuel to engage you in further and unnecessary talks, you will eventually break and make a mistake out of anger and say something u weren't suppose to, then she capitalizes on the mistake and that's more reasons for her to talk some more, that's a circle that never ends ,
The best way to deal with a woman is, whenver she's ranting don't say sh!t, just carry your phone and start pressing it, or start doing stuff but don't u ever respond to her, she will eventually tire her self out and walk away or sleep off ,


After sometimes, with a smile on your face call her, say this to her, oga food never ready abi we no go chop today?? huge her from the back and never bring up the topic that lead to you both nagging like co wives, do this and be consistent about it, women don't like men that talks as much as u do, you talk too much bro, imagine you nagging and settling issues always between you and two other women, your mum and wife, grow some hairy balls bro

Justkatty:
You both need to visit a counsellor.

Your both parents shouldn't be involved for now,
You just need need a bed time discussion with your spouse when you're back from counseling
Ask for forgiveness and she should also do likewise.
I see this as lack of understanding.
I pray for a peaceful home for you both.

Blessedmercy8:


See, this advice is good. As in very good but one downside of it is that with such women, this can't work because that is when they'll see you as a weak man and the next thing they'll come hit you first.

Ive witnessed this kind of scenario before that's why I'm sounding this way.

A woman in my former compound, because the man is always avoiding hitting her, she now grew from verbally abusing and insulting the man to hitting him first. Still the man was like, 'I don't want kill this woman" until people in the compound started insulting this man that you that can't handle your wife want to talk to me. The day this man jack her up by the neck and smashed her against the wall that everybody thought she had crashed, that was the day she started respecting the man; Since after 15yrs of marriage.

Before I left that compound, if the man is talking, she'll just be walking far.

Mindlog:


If she had died, what would have happened to the man and their children (if any)?

Blessedmercy8:


Eh.. she brought it upon herself now. When a woman will be doing more than herself.

She had once used scissors to stab this man on the chest and the man ran out of the house bleeding because she just newly put to bed and he didn't want to touch her. Still, it continued until the man revenged. That day, no body even tried to separate them except for one guy that just came to the compound newly but when she threw gas cylinder into the air, my guy jakpa. Everybody was just watching them cos her own was too much.

Blessedmercy8:


See, this advice is good. As in very good but one downside of it is that with such women, this can't work because that is when they'll see you as a weak man and the next thing they'll come hit you first.

Ive witnessed this kind of scenario before that's why I'm sounding this way.

A woman in my former compound, because the man is always avoiding hitting her, she now grew from verbally abusing and insulting the man to hitting him first. Still the man was like, 'I don't want kill this woman" until people in the compound started insulting this man that you that can't handle your wife want to talk to me. The day this man jack her up by the neck and smashed her against the wall that everybody thought she had crashed, that was the day she started respecting the man; Since after 15yrs of marriage.

Before I left that compound, if the man is talking, she'll just be walking far.