Should I Marry Her Or Move On? - Romance - Nairaland
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| Should I Marry Her Or Move On? by koolguy88(m): 12:00pm On Aug 22, 2011 |
I met the girl of my dreams and proposed to her for marriage, she accepted and we started making phone calls and i visited her twice in her sister's place. while discussing and getting to know our selves better, she decided to tell me of her past life experience. she's a graduate from a polytechnic and has done her NYSC and now in the labour market. she confessed to me that while she was in the poly, she dated a guy for 5yrs, when she graduated she dated another guy while doing her service and then another guy before she met me. she said while she was dating her first guy, she committed abortion 3 times, she told me her guy asked her to do it that after all it's just ordinary blood, that there's no problem. I did not approach her for friendship but marriage so now tell me, SHOULD I MARRY HER OR FORGET ABOUT HER B'COS I DONT WANT TO HAVE ANY PROBLEMS IN THE FUTURE. PLEASE ADVICE. THANK YOU |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Or Move On? by manmustwac(m): 12:08pm On Aug 22, 2011 |
Well the fact she confessed to you shows that she's not hiding her feelings. But then you should've requested for friendship first before marriage. |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Or Move On? by dandollar1: 12:22pm On Aug 22, 2011 |
There are somethings that are better left as secrets,thouhgh.since she's made it known to you,decide if you can live with it or not. |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Or Move On? by koolguy88(m): 12:32pm On Aug 22, 2011 |
she is what i want in a woman, she has both physical and character features i want for a wife but anytime it occurs to me that she dated a guy for 5yrs and had commited abortion 3 times, my heart breaks down and larment. what do i do my pple? |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Or Move On? by Nobody: 12:55pm On Aug 22, 2011 |
OP! She is EVERYTHING you want in a WOMAN! For the FACT that she told you all her history even the SCARY ones tells me that she is AWAre that your feelings towards her might CHANGE! But she took the risk and TOLD YOU! Kindly see that she really LOVES YOU! She did not want her past haunting her in the future or someone that knows her before to come to you and reveal her secrets without her telling you with her mouth first! Even with Virgins, there is no guarantee of the GOOD & PHYSICAL &CHARACTER features YOU want for a wife, which you have seen in this LADY!!! The DEVIL you know is better than the ANGEL you DONT KNOW! A TOKUNBO 2006 RANGE ROVER SPORTS is BETTER THAN A BRAND NEW KIA SPORTAGE! Because it's your LIFE, and i wont help you live it and YOU are responsible for YOUR ACTIONS, I wont answer YES or NO! to your Question! But i believe you CATCH MY DRIFT!  |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Or Move On? by Greenpro: 12:56pm On Aug 22, 2011 |
she loves you brother if not, she will keep quiet. |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Or Move On? by MMM2(m): 1:01pm On Aug 22, 2011 |
op just impregnate her before marriage  |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Or Move On? by Saraha1(f): 1:12pm On Aug 22, 2011 |
to be sure of her ability of becoming pregt,i will suggest you impregnate her to be sure ,becoming commencing the marriage. |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Or Move On? by koolguy88(m): 1:19pm On Aug 22, 2011 |
thanks to all, i really appriciate. my faith disallow a lady getting pregnant b4 marriage, i'm a christain and a catholic and it's not allowed. what about if i do a fertility test for her? will that work? |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Or Move On? by Goldieluks: 1:24pm On Aug 22, 2011 |
Everybody has a dirty little/big secret,some are better left hidden in our heart of hearts.If your doubting her fertility,why not take her to a doctor for check up.I believe she told you because she loves you? |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Or Move On? by nassiwa: 1:26pm On Aug 22, 2011 |
a fertility test will work.Try it out. She must be a good woman if she was really able to confess to you all that. Don't let her past destroy your future with her. If she wont be able to have kids you may consider adopting, how about that, |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Or Move On? by koolguy88(m): 1:38pm On Aug 22, 2011 |
ok, i think i'll do a fertility test but if it is proven by a qualified medical practioner that she cannot give birth to a child then i have no option but to move on with my life. i've neva in my life impregnate a girl or advice on abortion. it is bad, morally, medically, spritually and other wise. why should a girl start sleeping with a guy that will not marry her? What makes a girl so loose to date different guys, sleep with them and hoping to get married to someone else in the future? IF MEDICINE PROVES THAT HER WOMB CANNOT PRODUCE CHILDREN B'COS OF THE ABORTION SHE HAD IN THE PAST, THEN I CANNOT MARRY HER. thank |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Or Move On? by Nobody: 2:14pm On Aug 22, 2011 |
^^ your call. |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Or Move On? by SAFO(m): 2:22pm On Aug 22, 2011 |
After 3 abortions she might be damaged goods. Find out if she can get pregnant and healthfully carry a baby to term before you decide to lock yourself in for good. My advice though would be to move on. You don't want someone who has been internally scarred that much. |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Or Move On? by Kx: 2:28pm On Aug 22, 2011 |
koolguy88:What if after the positive test, show nor show when d chips are down  M M M: andromida: |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Or Move On? by kpolli(m): 2:28pm On Aug 22, 2011 |
So lemme get this, POSTER!!!! u met a girl n immediately proposed? My calendar does not state BC but AD ooooo |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Or Move On? by SAFO(m): 2:32pm On Aug 22, 2011 |
kpolli: HA HA exactly. @ OP, Why are you so eager to get married? Why not court her for a while and then make that decision. |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Or Move On? by koolguy88(m): 2:40pm On Aug 22, 2011 |
@kpolli, when i saw this girl and intracted wif her, i got all i needed (85%) in a lady for a wife. i'm ready for marriage now and i dont want any delay so as not to loose her. i've known her now for 1mth and 22days, so what do you think? |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Or Move On? by Nobody: 2:52pm On Aug 22, 2011 |
koolguy88:  Where she still scores some serious points is TELLING YOU THE TRUTH! DONT RUSH!!! TAKE THINGS SLOW! |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Or Move On? by Goldieluks: 2:55pm On Aug 22, 2011 |
koolguy88: And your thinking of MARRIAGE BLIMEY HELL!!!! |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Or Move On? by pendo89(f): 2:57pm On Aug 22, 2011 |
Oh Boy, please I am trying not to be judgmental here BUT.gosh you r talking marriage after less than 2 moths of meeting her? Wait till all skeletons are brought out of the closet bro.She may pass the fertility test but can her womb carry baby to full term? They get weakened by abortions you know and many keep having miscarriages. Give yourself time bro and see how the relationship goes.She doesnt care telling you her secrets which is a good thing but gals lol.She could care less wht you think. |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Or Move On? by koolguy88(m): 3:02pm On Aug 22, 2011 |
alright guyz, i'll do just that. thanks |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Or Move On? by SAFO(m): 3:03pm On Aug 22, 2011 |
Koolguy you have been given good advice from nearly everybody in this thread. If you marry this girl so soon you're only asking for trouble. Bros [size=16pt]TAKE YOUR TIME[/size] |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Or Move On? by born2boink(m): 3:08pm On Aug 22, 2011 |
2 month of meeting,you want to rush in a marriage, your lust not love, I spent 3 yrs with a girl which I hated after the 2 yrs together of love and understand and the 1 year left was war and hatred time together , do not mumulize urself, there are time ahead or you may spend it in divorce zone after kids , I  for you |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Or Move On? by Eiregirl(f): 3:09pm On Aug 22, 2011 |
3 ABORTIONS!!!!!!  Why are some girls using abortion as a form of contraception? I know that's not the point in this thread, but come on! If you don't want a baby, USE PROTECTION!!!!!  |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Or Move On? by Nobody: 3:12pm On Aug 22, 2011 |
Eiregirl:Cool down o!  |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Or Move On? by born2boink(m): 3:15pm On Aug 22, 2011 |
Eiregirl:Did you want to tell us that you have not had one before? |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Or Move On? by BodyKiss(m): 3:16pm On Aug 22, 2011 |
How can you see a lady and propose marriage to her straight away? WUSS. |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Or Move On? by Eiregirl(f): 3:20pm On Aug 22, 2011 |
@ born2fuck - I have NEVER had an abortion!!!! I have 2 BEAUTIFUL children & both were planned! I had them when I was ready to have them. Before I was ready to have children, I took care to make sure that I didn't get pregnant!!! |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Or Move On? by Jackieugo(f): 4:28pm On Aug 22, 2011 |
No one is perfect. You say she's your dream girl so then what are you afraid of? It is up to you to decide to accept her for who she is and not what's in her past. Would you prefer she keeps secrets from you and pretends to be something she's not? You should be glad she's confiding in you. |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Or Move On? by WPBandit(m): 4:37pm On Aug 22, 2011 |
Marriage is a really big deal. Whenever you decide to marry someone you must be 100% sure that the person is for you. If you are second guessing her, you should sit down with her and let her know that you're feeling a little uneasy and that maybe you need more time. 3 abortions and a 5 year relationship could be a past that's hard to look past, however, if the good outweighs the bad then it shouldn't be that big a deal! |
| Re: Should I Marry Her Or Move On? by Roland17(m): 4:55pm On Aug 22, 2011 |
If there is on thing i can promise that would be that, it would be very difficult to find another girl that would be so open and truthful to you. I understand your fears regarding the abortions she committed and i believe she has learnt her lessons and has shown remorse for such acts. My advice for both of u, is to consult a doctor for a comprehensive medical check up, let the doctor confirm she is medically fit with regards to her womb, conceiving and safe delivery. be calm with her and support her during this time, one thing i know for sure is, it hurts her more than it hurts u. According to Onyeka Onwenu "if u love someone you would wait for her" |
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