I can't laugh 0o

Boy drops girl at home, he puts his hand on the wall by the gate for support, leans towards her and says "can I kiss you"?
Girl; No not today
Boy; please
Girl ; No
This goes on for 10 mins
Then girl's brother appears at the gate and says;
"Dad says whether u kiss him or not its ur decision, but tell that bastard to remove his hand from the intercom button, everyone at home is listening to both of Ʊ

££VICTOR££:
I can't laugh 0o

Boy drops girl at home, he puts his hand on the wall by the gate for support, leans towards her and says "can I kiss you"?
Girl; No not today
Boy; please
Girl ; No
This goes on for 10 mins
Then girl's brother appears at the gate and says;
"Dad says whether u kiss him or not its ur decision, but tell that bastard to remove his hand from the intercom button, everyone at home is listening to both of Ʊ

Seen this though. . still lolling

Nice one buddy.......imagine!

££VICTOR££:
Onome, was driving one day in Warri. It became dark & he discovered his headlights weren't working. As a sharp Warri guy, he decided 2 follow d car in front of him and use its headlight 2 see the way. at some point, the car in front stopped and Onome stuck out his head and shouted angrily,"My friend, what is your problem? Will u move". D man in the other car shouted bcak, "Shuo! Which levels? Make I move 4 inside my own garage again"?

heheheheh

Laugh abeg...Two villages in Niger Delta decided to have a drinking competition. A week to the competition, Kukume village sent a delegate to Ovwiri village to comfirm if the competition will still hold. On arrival, the people of Ovwiri brought out 20 litres of their strongest OGOGORO (DRY GIN) and kola, the delegate asked if he could taste. He finished the 20 litres of the OGOGORO and said, "Dis one dey ok.........Wey the main drink?". People from Ovwiri shouted, "Shuooo!.... you dey come for the competition?" The guy answered, "Me? Noooo oh!..... I no qualify"

££VICTOR££:
Laugh abeg...Two villages in Niger Delta decided to have a drinking competition. A week to the competition, Kukume village sent a delegate to Ovwiri village to comfirm if the competition will still hold. On arrival, the people of Ovwiri brought out 20 litres of their strongest OGOGORO (DRY GIN) and kola, the delegate asked if he could taste. He finished the 20 litres of the OGOGORO and said, "Dis one dey ok.........Wey the main drink?". People from Ovwiri shouted, "Shuooo!.... you dey come for the competition?" The guy answered, "Me? Noooo oh!..... I no qualify"

nyc 1..keep it up

I luv ds tnx vicky u made me laf...

Brilliant jokes. #Victor

HERE IS ANOTHER ONE...

A very wealthy man had a Birthday party and he invited everyone in his town. In his Mansion he had a big pool filled with alligators. So he announced that anyone who was able to swim across the pool and come out unharmed would be granted three wishes. Immediately there was complete silence nobody wanted to risk his or her life. All of a Sudden, there was a big splash and a man was swimming like a hell and he Successfully came out alive. He was then Given a Round of Applause
Everyone was anxious to know what Give the man the courage to do it. But then the host asked, "What are your three wishes?" The man replied, "Give me A Shotgun and 3 Rounds of Shells (bullets) and show me the idiot that pushed me inside the Pool..

A man comes back from work at night and heads straight to d bedroom to make love to his wife. When done, he goes straight to d kitchen to fetch himself a bottle of cold drink only to find his wife der looking for something in d frigde. He asks his wife how she quickly made it to d kitchen wen they've just finished making love. his wife says 'haaa!!! That was my mother in d bedroom?, she was so tired when she arrived' I let her sleep in our room. Alarmed, she runs to her mother and asks her y she didnt say something when her husband was making love to her. Mother replies and said: 'you know ur husband and I are not in talking terms. So i didn't want to be d one to talk to him first!

A guy picks up a girl in a Club... He took her home and they started getting along.. He starts sucking her boobs and milk came out.. He stopped and ask "hey are u pregnant"? She smiled and reply.. Dat wasn't d nippl3, it's a boil !!!!

Good Afternoon!

Hehehehehehehehe!!

A guy was taking his bath in the forest. All animals were looking at him laughing, He then asked the animals, what are you guys laughing about?! They replied: Your TAIL is in d front. Lol

££VICTOR££:
A guy picks up a girl in a Club... He took her home and they started getting along.. He starts sucking her boobs and milk came out.. He stopped and ask "hey are u pregnant"? She smiled and reply.. Dat wasn't d nippl3, it's a boil !!!!

Good Afternoon!

, but Eeeew , so disgusting!

great job,i love al da jokes,u re da best

lwkm.....d jokes are jus sooo funny..keep it up

Nice jokes, u keep me laffing all daylong.

A sex Robot was designed to satisfy women, it was tested With 3 women, the first woman was an Hausa woman, after one hour, she came out full of smiles, saying, "gaskiya, e sweet me die". The next woman was a yoruba woman, after 3hrs with the robot, she also came out smiling, said, ooooshey baba!!! The last woman was a Calabar woman, after 11 hours, the woman was not still out, so the security had to go check thinking the robot had killed her only for them to open the door to see d Calabar woman chasing the robot up and down saying, "come here you liar, if your battery dey low, how u come manage dey run?

££VICTOR££:
Onome, was driving one day in Warri. It became dark & he discovered his headlights weren't working. As a sharp Warri guy, he decided 2 follow d car in front of him and use its headlight 2 see the way. at some point, the car in front stopped and Onome stuck out his head and shouted angrily,"My friend, what is your problem? Will u move". D man in the other car shouted bcak, "Shuo! Which levels? Make I move 4 inside my own garage again"?

heheheheh

Nice one

A friend of mine promised his pastor 100k very early in d morning b4 church service yestaday 1st April. In expectation of d cash his pastor gave him a front sit in church n also preached on d topic " Giving" using ma friend as an very good example telling evryone to emulate him and also told d whole church 2 pray for him for 30min.. When it was time 2 give pastor d cash d guy said April Fool. He has been suspended. LMAO! Na joke o

Sorry for the break in transmission..

Na PHCN cos am.. Here is another one

Shopping in a supermarket.
The Grandma realizes that the Kid has picked a toy. She calls out; ''Degree, put that toy back".'The Kid returns the toy. Astonished, another Customer asks; ''Is that his name?'' The Grandma replies; ''Yes, I sent his Mother to the University and this Is what she brought....

A guy has been admiring his neighbor's wife. The neighbor's wife always give him this seductive smile. The guy didn't know how to approach the lady. He was afraid. One day the lady herself met the guy alone in ... his apartment.
GUY: Hi
LADY: Hi
GUY: Is everything alright?
LADY: Yes. Just need little help from you (Smiling seductively.)
GUY: Wow! Anything for the angel.
LADY: I...I...I...jus t don't know how to say this. I'll be so ashamed of myself if you say no.
GUY: Oh my lady. You don't have to. I am ready to do anything for you.
LADY: You know, it's been over3 weeks since my husband traveled...
GUY: Yes! Yes! Yes!
LADY: And even when he's around, he has some... (pause for a while) he has some disabilities...
GUY: Oh poor you... You must have been going through hell!
LADY: I know you'll be stronger than him...
GUY: Sure.
LADY: Can you help me?
GUY: Wow! Now?
LADY: Oh thank goodness! that's why I came to you. Can you help me carry my deep freezer from the parlor to my kitchen?

Nice thread bro,but the last joke was repeated from the first page.kudos all the same!

I don laff sotey my prick stand. Tnx 4 givin me my joy back

Victor... Your jokes are the best.... U have made my day with these ur jokes... I love all the jokes. God bless u dearie

Hello. I love u jokes ooooo.

great collection victor.

Thanks @all

#Smiles..

An old woman was riding in an elevator in the very lavish Transcorp Hilton Hotel building when a young, beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling of expensive perfume.

She turns to the old woman and says arrogantly, "Romance" by Ralph Lauren, N25,500 an ounce!".

Then another young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator, and also very arrogantly turns to the old woman saying, "Channel No.... 5, N30,000 an ounce!".

About three floors later, the old woman reached her destination and was about to get off the elevator.

Before she left, she looked at both beautiful women in the eyes, then bends over and farted and saying,

"Beans and egg - N150 a plate..."

hehehehehe

IF ANIMALS HAD Facebook, THESE ARE MOST LIKELY TO BE THEIR STATUS UPDATE:

COCKROACH: "My Friends pls help me to thank God!just found out Mortein na Bodyspray...didn't kill me.. Just made me smell good!

CHICKEN: If tomorrow I'm not updating my status, it means am being served at MR BIGGS'... Love U all!

PIG: Ohh gosh! They throw gossip that I'm spreading flu...wtf!

DOG: I hate Akwa Ibom & Calabar people!

COW: My calf wants to suck now but the farmer has taken all the milk in the morning

RAT: The owner of the house just bought a cat, we dey pack comot 2moro.

GOAT: friends... thank God 4 me ooo.a car almost hit me now now...chai!i wud hav died like fowl...

FOWL's comment on Goat status: i thank God 4 u ooo...dnt mind those yeye humans... dats hw they drive like goats.

TGIF!

heeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiii! Guy, you can't imagine what your write-ups just did to my life today. Due to some factor, i didn't go anywhere today. But used those minutes to read the whole of the jokes you posted here. You really healed my wounds with that. More heat to your arm pit, and more grease to your elbows. May GOD BLESS YOU. AMEN. keep it up.