detriot007:

Studied MEng Chemical Engineering, got a 2.2 from a UK University, British citizen, should i go to Nigeria to do my nysc, any chance of getting a good job.

Going back for your NYSC is not a bad idea, however, getting a job afterwards might be tough considering the oil producing/service companies who absorb the largest proportion of engineering grads (seems like banks taking on engineers is now a passing fad) are almost all sitting on their hands waiting on what would become of the PIB.

Goodluck

Sagamite:

Don't mind the moronic troll!

He is so daft and useless at using the Googling he is recommending, he did not check Princeton's website to see what programmes they offer claiming we was studying Medicine in Princeton, when Princeton does not offer it?

He is a dimwit, desperate, hood-rat.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo. He didn't !!! 

Sagamite:

Don't mind the moronic troll!

He is so daft and useless at using the Googling he is recommending, he did not check Princeton's website to see what programmes they offer claiming we was studying Medicine in Princeton, when Princeton does not offer it? 

He is a dimwit, desperate, hood-rat.

Roflmao.

What a clown. At least I didnt drop out of OAU? Yoruba talk oruko to ba wuni laa je leyin odi. Fagamiteeeeeeeeeeeee dey claim intellectual god for London when he couldn't even crack common OAU? Keep building lies for that you lack and that you wish you could be. Ten years from now you will still be in the hood while yours truly would be living in some of the most affluent suburbs around. Don't hate me, hate the bad gene you got from your illiterate parents. Lol

@Fagamighty

Hey I couldnt respond well because when I saw your post I was just coming out from having helped remove someone's "kidinri" and I needed to help push the unfortunate patient to the PACU for recovery.

Anyway, talking about dimwits .    .    .  a failure like you who couldnt cut it at common, ordinary OAU calling me a dimwit? Are you okay? You do know that at 14, I was already at home idle, having spent the better part of the previous 4 years in boarding house. At 15, I was the only guy on my street walking around, at times mastur/-bating to po/r/n-o, and on some occasions sneeking out to go phock "ashawos", with condom of course, sometimes   because I was already done with SSCE and I had nothing else to do. No job and no chores to do because my parents were so proud of me, they decided to not bother this  awesome "arole Odua" with unnecessary house chores.  Lil wonder I am so spoilt and morally depraved. I love pucccy I no go lie and the older the better. Those Ibo girls used to collect my money and have me self-service to their bosoms and send me away, but I learnt my lessons and now i am the better for it.

Now Mr. Sagamoron, what were you doing at 14? Still trying to learn the meaning of your trademark words ( cretin, reeeetarddd, Moronnn, dimwitss)? or busy perfecting your I am an Oxford grad lie?  Or you think we forgot how in your early days on NL you go about telling people how you got accepted to Oxford to read law when in fact you were dismissed from OAU? 

That said, Sagacretin, I understand your plight. I may not really understand it truly since I dont know what it is  like to fail out of OAU. After all, my record at OAU stands unblemished, admitted,  spent some semesters then moved to obodo-oyinbo. Those days , I love'em. I always thought everyone was like me: smart, handsome, respectful and humble. Untill I got to NL and I saw dimwits like you going around bragging about what you wish you were. SMH. I know it sucks to be you. And what sucks more than that is that you actually have people here looking up to you for answers.  You may be tired of the straight line after spending years studying with nothing to show, besides a "C" in mathematics in your SSCE and a dismissal from OAU for academic difficulty.  So much for the self labelled Intellectual osoronga.

It is  unfortunate for you that everywhere you turn there are  exams and tests. And  you keep falling short of the kind of person you want to be. You keep on building the lie. That you make up for all that you lack. Hey Buddy, It doesnt make any difference. I know it is It’s easier for you to to believe in all these lies you made up for yourself, be rest assured that I will always be here to remind you of the  glorious sadness from your past  that brings you to your knees Yeah, it is the schadenfreude tendencies in me. I cant help it


Fagacretin my friend, to continue with my story, which as you can tell is straight from the heart. I am not one who reinvents himself overseas when he  couldnt cut it in Nigeria. BTW, who gets a "C" in WAEC maths and then come to NL, with gusto, to claim some stupiddddd " intellectual god." Are you that insecure that you have to come online to prove yourself  and claim what you couldnt achieve in real life. Are you that damaged gay-A-BABOON?

Anyway, I need to go write my notes. Bye

BIG UPS to you all,have not been so stirred up like to see people who are determined,like-minded,who don't give up and who have the right attitude to face any situation.Thanks for those inspirational replies.

Type3:

BIG UPS to you all,have not been so stirred up like to see people who are determined,like-minded,who don't give up and who have the right attitude to face any situation.Thanks for those inspirational replies.

O boy u must be british! your comment on the things that have been happening on this thread is the understatement of the year! Its killing me, I don laugh die.

naijababe:

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo. He didn't !!! 

Yeah, he did!

He is a dumb shyt and was caught out on NL!

Hoodrat cretins that come online to claim shyt they can never achieve.

The cretin also said it was protecting the nation when Abacha was killing pro-democracy activists. That is how dumb he is.

mitofag:

@Fagamighty

Hey I couldnt respond well because when I saw your post I was just coming out from having helped remove someone's "kidinri" and I needed to help push the unfortunate patient to the PACU for recovery.

Anyway, talking about dimwits .    .    .  a failure like you who couldnt cut it at common, ordinary OAU calling me a dimwit? Are you okay? You do know that at 14, I was already at home idle, having spent the better part of the previous 4 years in boarding house. At 15, I was the only guy on my street walking around, at times mastur/-bating to po/r/n-o, and on some occasions sneeking out to go phock "ashawos", with condom of course, sometimes   because I was already done with SSCE and I had nothing else to do. No job and no chores to do because my parents were so proud of me, they decided to not bother this  awesome "arole Odua" with unnecessary house chores.  Lil wonder I am so spoilt and morally depraved. I love pucccy I no go lie and the older the better. Those Ibo girls used to collect my money and have me self-service to their bosoms and send me away, but I learnt my lessons and now i am the better for it.

Now Mr. Sagamoron, what were you doing at 14? Still trying to learn the meaning of your trademark words ( cretin, reeeetarddd, Moronnn, dimwitss)? or busy perfecting your I am an Oxford grad lie?  Or you think we forgot how in your early days on NL you go about telling people how you got accepted to Oxford to read law when in fact you were dismissed from OAU? 

That said, Sagacretin, I understand your plight. I may not really understand it truly since I dont know what it is  like to fail out of OAU. After all, my record at OAU stands unblemished, admitted,  spent some semesters then moved to obodo-oyinbo. Those days , I love'em. I always thought everyone was like me: smart, handsome, respectful and humble. Untill I got to NL and I saw dimwits like you going around bragging about what you wish you were. SMH. I know it sucks to be you. And what sucks more than that is that you actually have people here looking up to you for answers.  You may be tired of the straight line after spending years studying with nothing to show, besides a "C" in mathematics in your SSCE and a dismissal from OAU for academic difficulty.  So much for the self labelled Intellectual osoronga.

It is  unfortunate for you that everywhere you turn there are  exams and tests. And  you keep falling short of the kind of person you want to be. You keep on building the lie. That you make up for all that you lack. Hey Buddy, It doesnt make any difference. I know it is It’s easier for you to to believe in all these lies you made up for yourself, be rest assured that I will always be here to remind you of the  glorious sadness from your past  that brings you to your knees Yeah, it is the schadenfreude tendencies in me. I cant help it


Fagacretin my friend, to continue with my story, which as you can tell is straight from the heart. I am not one who reinvents himself overseas when he  couldnt cut it in Nigeria. BTW, who gets a "C" in WAEC maths and then come to NL, with gusto, to claim some stupiddddd " intellectual god." Are you that insecure that you have to come online to prove yourself  and claim what you couldnt achieve in real life. Are you that damaged gay-A-BABOON?

Anyway, I need to go write my notes. Bye

Cretin, did you expect me to read all this? 

It does not take more than a 5 year old to know from reading our posts that you are a cretin, and you are not even worthy of shining my shoe.

^^^

How was school today?

What did you have for lunch? SEFAGO says hi?


BTW, my GF wants to transfer to Bristol University in the UK? What does she need?

mitofag:

^^^

How was school today?

What did you have for lunch? SEFAGO says hi?


BTW, my GF wants to transfer to Bristol University in the UK? What does she need?

"She" needs to know men should be wearing male clothes.

In as much as it is good to come out with good grade,

second class lower graduates are still very much relevant,

What is key is for you to continue to develop yourself.

wow i missed d core of d action

check this out http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2040806/First-class-Top-level-degrees-34-prompting-fresh-concerns-grade-inflation.html
Even standard of 1st class is dropping ,

Now this is example of why I call human beings cretins:

http://ngcareers.com/2010/10/graduates-needed-at-a-quick-service-restaurant

Why do you have to be a graduate and be less than 27 to be able to fry chicken? Why do they need to be a graduate of catering to work in a place where the food making will be standardised anyway?

Did the person responsible for recruiting have any brain cells?

CRETINS get on my nerves, mehn!!!

Sagamite:

Now this is example of why I call human beings cretins:

http://ngcareers.com/2010/10/graduates-needed-at-a-quick-service-restaurant

Why do you have to be a graduate and be less than 27 to be able to fry chicken? Why do they need to be a graduate of catering to work in a place where the food making will be standardised anyway?

Did the person responsible for recruiting have any brain cells?

CRETINS get on my nerves, mehn!!!

I once told you that Nigerian employers/recruiters seem not to know exactly what they are looking for in candidates.

I mean, why does someone need a 2.1 to be a bank teller and you must also not be more than 24 (access bank)?

Why do i need a first class to be a customer relations officer in a bank? Something simple training and a few soft skills is adequate

Why do I need a 2.1 in computer science to work in a call centre?

These are the reasons for the proliferation of candidates with 2.1 and first class, they just need to get it by all means possible.

These are jobs meant for diploma holders and maybe ssce and yet they need 1st, 2.1 who must not be more than 24.

chamber2:

I once told you that Nigerian employers/recruiters seem not to know exactly what they are looking for in candidates.

I mean, why does someone need a 2.1 to be a bank teller and you must also not be more than 24 (access bank)?

Why do i need a first class to be a customer relations officer in a bank? Something simple training and a few soft skills is adequate

Why do I need a 2.1 in computer science to work in a call centre?

These are the reasons for the proliferation of candidates with 2.1 and first class, they just need to get it by all means possible.

These are jobs meant for diploma holders and maybe ssce and yet they need 1st, 2.1 who must not be more than 24.

Honestly, if I owned the company, I would be sacking or seriously demoting someone in HR.

^^ You both miss the point.

The aim of those recruitment specifications is to limit the number of candidates that the HR people will have to go through/number of cvs they are bombarded with.

The truth is that when the labour market is saturated, even the most menial jobs begin to require 'qualifications' just to whittle down the number of applicants, not because the qualifications themselves are required to do the job.

I agree there may be better ways to restrict the candidate pool, but the most straightforward ones to apply are a graduation grade and an age limit.

debosky:

^^ You both miss the point.

The aim of those recruitment specifications is to limit the number of candidates that the HR people will have to go through/number of cvs they are bombarded with.

The truth is that when the labour market is saturated, even the most menial jobs begin to require 'qualifications' just to whittle down the number of applicants, not because the qualifications themselves are required to do the job.

I agree there may be better ways to restrict the candidate pool, but the most straightforward ones to apply are a graduation grade and an age limit.

No, it is still a silly requirement irrespective of trying to limit.

They can as well ask for a PhD.

If you want to limit applications, then use experience of work in this context, not graduate requirement.

It even makes more sense to appoint someone based on who-know-who-can-cook in this situation than ask for graduates to be applying. Basically, send invitation to apply to a group of people and select from them.

It should not be different from when persin wan hire driver or car washer, you go appoint based on who-know-who-fit-do-am. Persin no go ask for Geography or Mechanical engineering degree na.

Sagamite:

No, it is still a silly requirement irrespective of trying to limit.

They can as well ask for a PhD.

There are little or no PhDs in Nigeria, so it's not a valid metric. . . .besides, they are very unlikely to be below 24 or 27

If you want to limit applications, then use experience of work in this context, not graduate requirement.

For entry-level recruitment applicants are typically not expected to have experience of work in the context, so using experience for those types of jobs doesn't work most of the time. In addition, the entry-level task is often just a starting point to progress in the organisation. The more advanced skills may be needed later on.

It even makes more sense to appoint someone based on who-know-who-can-cook in this situation than ask for graduates to be applying. Basically, send invitation to apply to a group of people and select from them.

Agreed - but this issue of identifying the target group is not as easy as you make it sound. It's easier to send out a blanket recruitment request with certain limiters then filter off that list.

The methodology used, though flawed, is still the easiest way to start off.

It should not be different from when persin wan hire driver or car washer, you go appoint based on who-know-who-fit-do-am. Persin no go ask for Geography or Mechanical engineering degree na.

Depends oh. . . . .if I want a driver/mechanic I fit ask for mech eng degree, or if I want someone who can read maps and navigate tortuous terrain I may also ask for a geography degree.

Know-how should be used in most cases, but for entry-level recruitment, you are relying on the universities to have developed some basic general skills - that's what the recruiters are after in this case, not the technical content of the degrees.

debosky:

For entry-level recruitment applicants are typically not expected to have experience of work in the context, so using experience for those types of jobs doesn't work most of the time. In addition, the entry-level task is often just a starting point to progress in the organisation. The more advanced skills may be needed later on.

I think you are mixing up what we are talking about.

This is not a graduate trainee in oil & gas role, this is for cooking in a fast food restaurant. Not Jamie Oliverkoye we-will-overcharge-because-it-is-Nigeria-and-we-rip-people-of-to-show-it-is-classy restaurant.

debosky:

Agreed - but this issue of identifying the target group is not as easy as you make it sound. It's easier to send out a blanket recruitment request with certain limiters then filter off that list.

The methodology used, though flawed, is still the easiest way to start off.

As I said it is a cooking role in a restaurant that probably has a standardised process, not some creative and innovative cooking. And I would not expect any type of career progress from the kitchen if it is the Nigeria I know.

This is not much different from Nando's, Chiquito, Wasabi and co where I normally take girls on valentine when I want to splash out and show I be Big Boi!

debosky:

Depends oh. . . . .if I want a driver/mechanic I fit ask for mech eng degree, or if I want someone who can read maps and navigate tortuous terrain I may also ask for a geography degree.

You are evil! 

Sagamite:


This is not much different from Nando's, Chiquito, Wasabi and co where I normally take girls on valentine when I want to splash out and show I be Big Boi!

You are evil! 

Sagamu cheapskate. If you no wan splash out nko, where u go take a babe ?

naijababe:

Sagamu cheapskate. If you no wan splash out nko, where u go take a babe ?

Mama put

naijababe:

Sagamu cheapskate. If you no wan splash out nko, where u go take a babe ? 

KFC.

The chicken is very nyce.

Sagamite:

I think you are mixing up what we are talking about.

This is not a graduate trainee in oil & gas role, this is for cooking in a fast food restaurant. Not Jamie Oliverkoye we-will-overcharge-because-it-is-Nigeria-and-we-rip-people-of-to-show-it-is-classy restaurant.

How do you know? I have it on good authority that the restaurant is already applying for a Michelin rating. They are going places.

As I said it is a cooking role in a restaurant that probably has a standardised process, not some creative and innovative cooking. And I would not expect any type of career progress from the kitchen if it is the Nigeria I know.

Na lie oh. . . .the cooking role is a managerial role needing some high level skills - you need to manage the carrot and potato peeler, the pepper grinder, the meat slicer and the water boiler. Such a position is definitely deserving of graduate skills.

debosky:

How do you know? I have it on good authority that the restaurant is already applying for a Michelin rating. They are going places.

If they had or were applying for that in Nigeria, I would have heard because they would be selling a bottle of coke that is served in its can for N10,000. Dem no go even put some added value by pouring it in a glass but will charge heavenly value and still expect you to tip before you leave to show you have arrived.

Like when dem come London, charge you £50 for ticket, £75 to £100 for VIP. Then they come and give you a £4.91 and 3 shillings performance with some ediot that has not rehearsed jumping on stage and screaming (not singing) all night through a crooked microphone after being 2 hours 15mins and 32 secs late from the stated start time.

Naija stylee!

Awa Big Bois just prefer to tune to YouTube and have a private VIP concert of the studio version on our own. 

debosky:

Na lie oh. . . .the cooking role is a managerial role needing some high level skills - you need to manage the carrot and potato peeler, the pepper grinder, the meat slicer and the water boiler. Such a position is definitely deserving of graduate skills.

A Bachelor in Pounding (B.Po) from the University of the Streets is sufficient for that and for making pounded yam. #

You never went to that Buka called White House in Sabo (Lagos) near Unilag?

Dem get degree?

No. But them Amala is heaven.

When I go there, I refuse to be served by any of the girls that is not wearing hijab and Ibadan tribal marks because I believe those are symbols of senior chef!

And if I don't see AT LEAST 2 rats, I no go begin to eat because I would not believe there is enough bacteria in the food to help sharpen my immune system for battles. All these London chicken and chips in clean environment is making my immune system weak. 

Abeg, where dem born Sagamite

Dis two rats talk enter my belle

I swear, you go make am pass basket mouth. Just enter market you go sale wella pass basket mouth

d laugh still hol me o

chamber2:

Abeg, where dem born Sagamite

Dis two rats talk enter my belle

I swear, you go make am pass basket mouth. Just enter market you go sale wella pass basket mouth

d laugh still hol me o

Actually 4 girls have told me to consider stand up comedy before, after cracking their ribs,  and I just curiously researched online.

I am not sure stand-up would work for me because, firstly, most of my jokes are conversational. I see a punchline in a chat and I go for it. Standup guys write materials. Secondly, most of my jokes are self-ridiculing hyperboles. It is a very smart guy pretending to be ridiculously silly (typical of ESTJs' humour - I am half ESTJ, half ENTJ). People need to know me to really get most of the punchline in entirety.

"ESTJ humour is frequently centred around something or someone being off centre or behaving abnormally"

http://www.prelude-team.com/ca/types/estj

"ESTJs males tend to be very "macho", and their humor often the most sexist and racist of all sixteen types"

http://morriscat.50megs.com/type/estjtype.html

If you check my humour on NL, it has mostly fallen in these categories. 

If I was to do comedy, it will have to be something like Jon Stewart show where I have conversation with people and deliver punchlines, do a few outrageous sketches and I can give serious topical opinions for a few seconds or indirectly (by ridicule).

So right now, I will continue only using my humour on chics. Let me see whether dem born dem well not to fancy me when I finish.

Sagamite:




So right now, I will continue only using my humour on chics. Let me see whether dem born dem well not to fancy me when I finish.

Dem Nando and Burger king chicks abi ?

naijababe:

Dem Nando and Burger king chicks abi ? 

Of course.

Which girl no like Gbogbo Big Boi, "Pounds aint nothing" spender wey fit take them out to exclusive joints? 

Sagamite:

Of course.

Which girl no like Gbogbo Big Boi, "Pounds aint nothing" spender wey fit take them out to exclusive joints? 

Gbogbo Big boi my foot. Jewo jo, u be faworaja/alawin jare. Na wen Nando and Chiquito dem become exclusive joints

naijababe:

Gbogbo Big boi my foot. Jewo jo, u be faworaja/alawin jare. Na wen Nando and Chiquito dem become exclusive joints

Place were I can blow £22 for two in one night is not exclusive?

O o damo (You no recognise). Lets not talk too much about it.

naijababe:

Gbogbo Big boi my foot. Jewo jo, u be faworaja/alawin jare.  Na wen Nando and Chiquito dem become exclusive joints  

When the chicks are from Peckham or Woolwich Arsenal.

debosky:

When the chicks are from Peckham or Woolwich Arsenal.

Helep me tell am o abeg