Just imagine, my 31 years old girl friend had a fiance who traveled to the united state,before he left he promised to be calling  her every day but there came a time he end calling for good  24 months and because she is not growing any younger she decided to stick to another love .Now, about to marry in a week time , her fiance in US called  and says "i will be coming  to marry you because i have tried to consider the age and time we have spent together and the love i have for you"   Now she is confused whether to follow the new poor fiance or the rich old fiance. please  lets discus and choose for us.  For me am 

I have a bad feeling about him coming back to ask for her hand in marriage, but knowing naija babes now, she will eventually follow him cos he now has the 'kishi'.

i won't even think 2wice and will tell u neva 2 call me, wat do u take me 4? a fool 2 wait 4 u, do wuteva u wanna do and den showz up when u do. as da clock ain't waiting 4 me, i simply ain't waiting 4 nobody, as sum1 said, she might go 4 him cuz hez abroad but dat might be her biggest mistake

hahahahaha

My advise to you friend is that she should isolate money and location out of these two relationships.
Assume both men are of equal financial strength and are at the same location with equal prospects then ask herself,"who do I really want to spend the rest of my life with ?","Who do I want to have as the father of my kids" Who do I want to grow old with".

The sincere answers she gives to these questions should guide her choice.She must remember,times and situation change.Marrying because a man is rich now or is based in a particular location today is not a guarantee of a blissful future tomorrow.

Above all ,let her pray to God for guidiance on the right decision.

HotStepper, meh, love is a weak, bloated term. You shouldn't really trust in it.

Also, it may be a good idea to avoid people who don't believe in the idea of love. They can be ruthless/heartless.

Happiness is what is important here. Does the guy in Naija make her happy or is she just planning to marrying him because she feels she has no other option?
For me sha o, she needs to ask the American bobo why he did not call or write her for 2 years! A marriage that is based on convenience may not see the light of dawn. She needs to go with the one that makes her happy. Note that i didn't say love but said happiness.

She needs 2 set r priorities right,n know wat she really wants.I noticed d emphasis btw d 2 men are:poor n new,rich n old,i think who she really loves n wanna spend r life wit is wat counts.I aint an expert on being in love but i suppose wen there r 2 guyz,one would be loved more than d other.She knows d 2 men well n in d best position 2 kno who is right 4 r.

i would advice her to go for the one she love most, becos is a thing of choice

The resons the guy gave  for not calling  was  that he lost his job  and he wouldn't feed him self, he was injected from his apartment he rented  and infact he was confused and  for that  reason he couldn't make a call to notify her about his present conditions. So for this he was trying to put every thing in order so that he could show up to his promising lady. Please what do u think this time around.

what a difficult situation. i agree w/ most of the other posts. she should sit down & ignore location/money and judge the men for who they truly are. but if her new love is good to her & her feelings are geniune what does she want w/ her old love? i am prejudiced against the 1st love b/c he did not trust her enough to tell her his problems & 2 yrs is a VERY LONG TIME sha!

if she loves the new man, than she shouldnt even see her old love when he returns! if a woman truly loves a man, then he will ALWAYS pull at her heart strings a little but that is not love----> it is nostaglia for lost love & a bittersweet breakup. she should also ask him detailed questions. if his answers dont add up, then she should skate. but, is the american man gonna take her to live w/ him? she should think about herself & any possible life together. also which man would she rather have babies w/ etc.

perhaps your friend does not believe his story. well, i kind of do simply b/c i've seen it happen before. ppl go abroad w/ a plan but when it doesnt work out they end up living on charity & cant afford a phone or constant calling cards. good luck to your friend!

don't get me wrong here but don't u think u shuld be suspicious that he ignores your frnd for a long time and suddenly pops up,from space saying he wants to marry your sister.tell her to take things really easy.ave seen so many of ma sister and cousins frnds fall for such game.

ThoniaSlim:

don't get me wrong here but don't u think u shuld be suspicious that he ignores your frnd for a long time and suddenly pops up,from space saying he wants to marry your sister.tell her to take things really easy.ave seen so many of ma sister and cousins frnds fall for such game.

Thonia,u are smart and brillant

thank you.

humm u really need a special prayer

@topic

me i dont believe in poor marriage ohh, it might be ok to date a guy who can't afford u, as long as u can look after urself.

But i do not think it is ok, to MARRY a guy who can't affordf to look after ur kids, unless u can.
Having said that, i'm not suggesting for one minute to marry a guy u have no affection for!

I supopose the key here is the right balance between, a comfortable future and a happy one

If she loves both men, then she should consider where her future is brightest. If not she had better follow her heart, atleast that way, if things go wrong, no regrets

Aah, alas do i sense a chink in the "luxoire armoury" Hmmm, so you'd go 4 d cheese !

@RuuDie

no chink ohh huney, just common sense, marriage aint all about love, and my parents ensured i had the best up bringing, y should i deny my kids same?

@ whitelexi
He might be a taxi driver in the states

luxoire:

@RuuDie

no chink ohh huney, just common sense, marriage aint all about love, and my parents ensured i had the best up bringing, y should i deny my kids same?

Oh, so you're saying you'd go with the man with the bag of chips over the one you're truely, madly, deeply crazy "bout ? think i better start stacking up the paper so i can come knock on your door soonest ! 

when you look at your folks, do you see two people who just got thrown together by some unfortunate twist of fate & are only just barely putting up with each other or do you see two people who act like they are where they really want to be ?

@RuuDie, i AM SAYING, I WOULDNT PUT MYSELF IN A SITUATION WHERE MY KIDS FUTURE AND UPTIMUM LIVELIHOOD WOULD BE TARNISHED BY A FOOLISH HEART.

money isnt the only factor to consider in marriage, and the guy doesnt have to be mega rich or anything like that, but he has got to be able to look after u, else u d woman can look after all of u, hahahah, u planning on coming to knock on my dopor?, sha come first den we go see

lol, If i know my mom, like i do,, she dodnt just marry my dad because she loved him, lol, not that she didnt love him oh, cos i bet she did[that i know for a fact], but it is also a fact that she believed he also had a future to offer her and her kids.

i think he got married it didnt work out then he rememebred u and thot she must be desperate let me marry her immediatly

I think she needs to ask the American guy why he ignored her for 24mnths and during those 24 months,didn't you have his number or you didn't bother asking about his where about.

Anyway the fact that the guy is based abroad and is richer than the other guy is not a factor to consider here,are you getting married to the guy in Nigeria because you love him or because you think you are getting old and needs to get married very soon,there are loads of stuffs to consider here,and you need not deceive yourself and let money dictate for you,remember marriage aint all about money.

@Topic
I really don't know what to say here. It might be many reasons why the guy did not call or he might even had been in trouble with the law but whatever it easy, he knows why and should be able to tell her the truth !!! This long distance thing sef, i tire o !

If i am not mistaken, in accordance with the text the rich guy is coming based on the fact that she is not getting any younger and that they have known each other for a long time and not because he loves her, i will advice u to stick to the one that picked u up from the pit which one-so-called rich guy dumped you no matter how poor he may be, because going back to the rich guy this time around, maybe, after the so call wedding will drop u into the FIRE. BE WISE

hmmm, u knw wat? d yankee guy will sure marry her if she agrees and then dump her in naija all over again with the promise of coming for her, he is just not worth da problems. as for money, it is god that maketh rich, tr ust him nd u will get your own share in life

Hmmmm, nobody's asking if this lady in question ever tried to get in touch with the yankee in those 24 months, what was she doing all that while !

why is it always up to the guy to make a relationship work ? he has to call, when there's silence he should be the first to break, he should buy the gifts & all that; why

I personally will not be comfortable with someone who abandoned me for 2 years! no matter what his situation was. if we ahd a relationship he reagrded to be anything, the he should have discussed his problems with me or at least put me in the know. Also, the fact that he lives in yankee does not automatically make him rich. dont we know the false impressions that these guys go and give in nigeria? and like someone else already said, situations change.
I would say stick with the naija guy who has accepted u as u are and u know him. u knwo his circumstance. no stories. with hard work and God on ur side, together u can make things happen. I mean thats what i would do.

Give me a break guys, It's a situation of marriage without love.Na the pest of the average nija marriage be that they marriage for reasons leaving love to the base.Forget the states guy lady and go for love if you don't have love between the two go for the cashhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,