Cuddlemii:


[size=29pt]Now spending is not a do or die affair, you do it when you feel comfortable or feel your partner has earned it or you can afford it. Its not an avenue to  get pressured into stealing or fraud to please anybody, if you don't have, you don't have, if your low income is not sufficient, you step!!![/size]

agnesefe:

Sometimes, you marvel at the gaping disconnect between words, meanings, interpretations and usage, in the trade that goes by the label “relationships” in this age; in one breath, independence and chivalry, are recited with a strident chord and, in another, we ape after given and culturally embellished roles-no worse sobering fraud exists than this.

Any fellow out there, trapped in the consumption that spendthrift, a prodigal bearing and, an obsequious or unctuous tilt, would earn a warm bed, could well brace up for the coming bathe of a frigid blanket-the unreal would bear out and fade in time.

Cuddlemii:

Now spending is not a do or die affair, you do it when you feel comfortable or feel your partner has earned it or you can afford it. Its not an avenue to  get pressured into stealing or fraud to please anybody, if you don't have, you don't have, if your low income is not sufficient, drop your partner in front of a financial institution, ask him/her to rob the bank & you step!!!

badmrkt:

there's absolute nothing wrong with spending for the person you love,but it becomes a problem the moment the person makes demand beyond your income.

Pharoh:

It is not wrong for any partner to spend for the other in the context of a relationship but i also think it is not compulsory to do it if you don't want to or if it is not your style. Marriage presents a different setting with clear rules and responsibilites unlike a mere relationship.

[size=14pt]I seriously want to know why a man has to spend for a woman or girl friend, be it wrong or right. I have been hearing about man do this and that but what about the women. Why spend money for someone that could afford to do the same thing him/herself. Why spend when the person can also work, make her own money and spend it the way she likes. [/size]

This definitely does not rule out occasional assistance or doing one or two things out of the blue.The problem in nigeria is that, it is now seen as a defacto obligation on the men or boy friend which is totally wrong. Men should make their money and women also should make thier own money for whatever expenses they might encounter. The soceity has been libralised and we all have access or equal opportunities to make money.  

Saying a woman should spend for a woman or take care of her needs when she is in a relationships makes a mockery of the idea of being in a relationship in the first place. There are reasons for going into a marriage and a relationship and i don't looking for someone to spend for you is on top of the list. I wonder who is going to take care of the needs of a single lady or woman that is divorced.

It is not wrong and neither is it compulsory to spend on a woman. It is not any form of obligation on the men but freewill which should not serve as a condition to make the relationship work.  

Absolute!

Where i have a problem is on the bolded! And the first statement of the second paragraph contradicts you! Are you saying that you cant spend money on a lady, or it's also wrong to spend on a lady you are planning to marry, just because she earns her's? Could you be on a more trajectory plane on that pls?  

Nayah:

Normally this question shouldn't have to be asked, a man who is in love will do things without any suggestions, but these things should'nt be in one way, we women should be able to do the same, our brothers like surprises and being pampered too, as long as some will think this is the "male role " to "give", men would disrespect or blame us , and they would be right

Pharoh:

It is not wrong for any partner to spend for the other in the context of a relationship but i also think it is not compulsory to do it if you don't want to or if it is not your style. Marriage presents a different setting with clear rules and responsibilites unlike a mere relationship.

I seriously want to know why a man has to spend for a woman or girl friend, be it wrong or right. I have been hearing about man do this and that but what about the women. Why spend money for someone that could afford to do the same thing him/herself. Why spend when the person can also work, make her own money and spend it the way she likes.

This definitely does not rule out occasional assistance or doing one or two things out of the blue.The problem in nigeria is that, it is now seen as a defacto obligation on the men or boy friend which is totally wrong. Men should make their money and women also should make thier own money for whatever expenses they might encounter. The soceity has been libralised and we all have access or equal opportunities to make money.  

Saying a woman should spend for a woman or take care of her needs when she is in a relationships makes a mockery of the idea of being in a relationship in the first place. There are reasons for going into a marriage and a relationship and i don't looking for someone to spend for you is on top of the list. I wonder who is going to take care of the needs of a single lady or woman that is divorced.

It is not wrong and neither is it compulsory to spend on a woman. It is not any form of obligation on the men but freewill which should not serve as a condition to make the relationship work.  

Pharoh:

I always like your intelligent write-ups, kudos to you for that but let me step in at this point. You are right that it is not a do or die affair but[b] the last sentence which i bolded goes against your earlier stand.[/b] First an alternative to not dropping the partner in front of a bank to rob means that the second coloured sentence becomes a viable option.

o.obim:

Giving is in me n i hav bn ripping d benefits.Nothing wrong with spending for a woman u love.I love my family n friends n i dont complain wen i give them.Love is giving!

sexkillz:

Absolute!

Where i have a problem is on the bolded! And the first statement of the second paragraph contradicts you! Are you saying that you cant spend money on a lady, or it's also wrong to spend on a lady you are planning to marry, just because she earns her's? Could you be on a more trajectory plane on that pls?  

Pharoh:

I always like your intelligent write-ups, kudos to you for that but let me step in at this point. You are right that it is not a do or die affair but the last sentence which i bolded goes against your earlier stand. First an alternative to not dropping the partner in front of a bank to rob means that the second coloured sentence becomes a viable option.

The partner is then pressured into stealing or doing whatever it takes to satisfy the demand because your last statement confirms the norm within the soceity. Your last statement implies that there is no alternative to being in a relationship without spending because you gave the only option of stepping out. Most guys in nigeria now take it as an obligation or one of the compulsory requirements to be in a relationship.

If the low income of a guy is not sufficient then it is actually a do or die affiar which must meet up to the ladies expectation or you step out. On one hand it is not a do or die affair but your statement implies that a relationship will not work if it is not done. Hope am not getting you wrong but let me know if i have just done that.

A lady should look up to her parents or be self sufficient either in a relationship or not because nothing is better than spedning your own sweat. Spending for a lady does not qualify a guy as the better partner than he who does not spend. I am still begging for the question, why do ladies go into a relationship and what are they expecting from their boyfriends?

Cuddlemii:


Hahaha dude, thats how I address stuffs oh. You didn't get the joke. I meant if your partner is pressuring you into giving him or her money, let them go, you can even drop them in front of a financial institution to rob the bank instead of killing yourself & then you step. The person no go get liver na, its just an insult to people who bastardize the issue of spending . Its like saying: "come kill me chop now shebi you said you are hungry, where make I see the money, I told you I don't have, Oya take knife & knock yourself out". You get my drift?

Nayah:

Pharao, as for me I'm not talking about paying, school fees or bills, I'm talikng about being able to buy something special for her even it sometimes it's a bit expensive, if you can't ok let's move if you can and it you love your girl there's nothing wrong about it, but women should do the same

PS Spending is not complusory, but it's a pleasure don't be confused

sexkillz:

Pharoh,
I get you know! In other words, spending on a lady is NOT WRONG! Depending on the circumstances! Yeah! I buy that! I'm only against those that say Spending on a woman is wrong in its whole totality!

chubby_a2:

Most men these days are weaklings,they are broke, i am not trying to insult the guys here,so pls do not get me wrong, we all know the level of unemployment in Nigeria,if there are jobs of course i know guys are willing to spend money on a woman, but on the other hand there are guys who are not willing to look for jobs, or should i say start from somewhere, the guys u find these days are more like leeches looking for young or even older comfortable women to suck from.its really sad .

Pharoh:

Lol i get your point now and it was just little bit difficult for me to separate it from the whole write-up initially. You are really funny  . . . .but this topic is something else . . . don't actually like to get into it that much. Been reading some interesting stuffs on this thread and good to put your ideas sometimes on the table for others to analyze.

P.S  . . .[size=1pt]Hope you are doing good and your admission stuff is now through?[/size]