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My Friend Is Currently Going Through A Divorce In UK &having A Hell Of A Time - Family (9) - Nairaland

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Re: My Friend Is Currently Going Through A Divorce In UK &having A Hell Of A Time by JONSYN7154: 11:00pm On Apr 17, 2023
IyaTola:
Mumu is not an insult and not even an English ward
whatever. Its an offensive word.

1 Like

Re: My Friend Is Currently Going Through A Divorce In UK &having A Hell Of A Time by IyaTola: 11:01pm On Apr 17, 2023
JONSYN7154:
whatever. Its an offensive word.
Really?!
Re: My Friend Is Currently Going Through A Divorce In UK &having A Hell Of A Time by JONSYN7154: 11:02pm On Apr 17, 2023
IyaTola:
Really?!
Have a blissful night rest.

1 Like

Re: My Friend Is Currently Going Through A Divorce In UK &having A Hell Of A Time by armyofone(m): 11:02pm On Apr 17, 2023
abbey621:


Then what's the essence of a wife? Loading washing machine or dryer is now a thing that must be shared equally? Preparing a meal for your family is now maid work? Are you actually married? In most households they do order take in once or twice a week so I'm short of words this burnout theory.

Furthermore, there are so many other domestic duties that men are not expected to split with their wives such as lawn mowing, plumbing issues, car issues, carpentry work, paint work etc. In fact here in America, I've learned to be an handyman because the cost of labor is so high but what I refuse to subject myself to is the core duties of a wife. Preparing dinner, a clean home and laundry are the bear minimum, to make it easier we have automatic machines for everything including sweeping and moping yet burnout still dey? My grandma would be rolling in her grave right now at all these so called modern wives grin grin grin

Lastly, I love your caveat, if both are working full time and contribute economically in equal parts, I can assure you 90% of the households in UK or US are not splitting bills 50/50; perhaps if the bills were actually split 50/50 I can understand the man forgoing some of his basic rights but anything short of that is plain rubbish.....

Nothing is or should be a man's or woman's job anymore.
Woman paints, mow lawn, do plumbing (yes, lay on the ground, open the drain, and get it fixed etc.
They can do oil change cheesy and replace tires.
Point is - nobody should be tag with specific duties - when your woman is also working and bringing in paycheck to support the family, you the man must be supportive in the house cooking, cleaning etc 50/50 or not, it is your home too - join hands in building it.
I have heard some men don't want to read to their kids. They say it is a woman job! Ummmm
In marriage, all hands must be on deck. It is simple - be each other support/helpmate/backbone etc.

4 Likes

Re: My Friend Is Currently Going Through A Divorce In UK &having A Hell Of A Time by ahnie: 11:03pm On Apr 17, 2023
IyaTola:
grin, help me. I need to put this app uo before the end of the month.
I won't be a party to it.make them nor come tag me join your cartel.

Goodnight tola

1 Like

Re: My Friend Is Currently Going Through A Divorce In UK &having A Hell Of A Time by IyaTola: 11:03pm On Apr 17, 2023
cool
ahnie:

I won't be a party to it.
Re: My Friend Is Currently Going Through A Divorce In UK &having A Hell Of A Time by IyaTola: 11:04pm On Apr 17, 2023
kiss
JONSYN7154:
Have a blissful night rest.
Re: My Friend Is Currently Going Through A Divorce In UK &having A Hell Of A Time by just2endowed: 11:14pm On Apr 17, 2023
McStoic:


Why do most of you women support your fellow women when
any marital issues comes up? Everyone knows how bad and unfair Western laws are meant to favour women even when they're at fault

This kind of story has been told several times and most times the women use their advantage unfairly. Say the truth, if your own blood brother is kicked out of a home he sweated for or made not to see his kids just like that, will you support it?

It's the same UK that a man can be jailed and punished simply because a woman raised an unverified allegation against him. The West need to look into these things sha...
omo na to set up video recording for the house oh....i no won hear ,

1 Like

Re: My Friend Is Currently Going Through A Divorce In UK &having A Hell Of A Time by missymide: 11:20pm On Apr 17, 2023
Let the guy calm down and see reasons he needs to bounce back. Coming back home might not be the solution except he is not coming to start all over here.

He should forgive her in his heart so he can heal and get running again so someday she will regret ever leaving him.
Re: My Friend Is Currently Going Through A Divorce In UK &having A Hell Of A Time by sisisioge: 11:27pm On Apr 17, 2023
abbey621:


Then what's the essence of a wife? Loading washing machine or dryer is now a thing that must be shared equally? Preparing a meal for your family is now maid work? Are you actually married? In most households they do order take in once or twice a week so I'm short of words this burnout theory.

Furthermore, there are so many other domestic duties that men are not expected to split with their wives such as lawn mowing, plumbing issues, car issues, carpentry work, paint work etc. In fact here in America, I've learned to be an handyman because the cost of labor is so high but what I refuse to subject myself to is the core duties of a wife. Preparing dinner, a clean home and laundry are the bear minimum, to make it easier we have automatic machines for everything including sweeping and moping yet burnout still dey? My grandma would be rolling in her grave right now at all these so called modern wives grin grin grin

Lastly, I love your caveat, if both are working full time and contribute economically in equal parts, I can assure you 90% of the households in UK or US are not splitting bills 50/50; perhaps if the bills were actually split 50/50 I can understand the man forgoing some of his basic rights but anything short of that is plain rubbish.....

How many times in a week do you need a paint job, carpentry, plumbing, mowing and all those supposed men's jobs? The average family with kids eat 3 times a day, laundry once per week, sweeping once per day, caring for the kids round the clock, etc. Again if both are working and contributing, it is too much to ask of a woman to shoulder those chores alone. The latest auto vacuum cleaning is still a new thing in homes, good old brooms and vacuum are human energy consuming tools to use!

I bet your Grandma disnt have to work and share bills equally with her husband, she didnt invest so much money and time into a professional career and education only to have to take on the wifely duties in absolution. Ypu guys want a woman that brings something to the table, a woman with good career and education, yet you want her to be the copy of your grandma grin Besides, Grandma must have had help from family and friends raising her kids and keeping home....what does the modern woman have? Since its wahing machine, load it and fold the cloths as your contribution to the house work biko. Be in charge of bathing the kids and getting them ready for school in the morning while madam makes their food and lunch pack....etc. Do you wonder why the whites don't pull the evil woman's card in divorce as much as the African women? Because their men were not trained like ours to subservient women. Unfortunately, we are still raising our boys the way Grandma raised our dads.

Pls interview 10 out of the nigerian marriages in trouble there to hear the cause of the discord....life can be much easier if we do the right thing.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Friend Is Currently Going Through A Divorce In UK &having A Hell Of A Time by abbey621(m): 11:43pm On Apr 17, 2023
sisisioge:


How many times in a week do you need a paint job, carpentry, plumbing, mowing and all those supposed men's jobs? The average family with kids eat 3 times a day, laundry once per week, sweeping once per day, caring for the kids round the clock, etc. Again if both are working and contributing, it is too much to ask of a woman to shoulder those chores alone. The latest auto vacuum cleaning is still a new thing in homes, good old brooms and vacuum are human energy consuming tools to use!

I bet your Grandma disnt have to work and share bills equally with her husband, she didnt invest so much money and time into a professional career and education only to have to take on the wifely duties in absolution. Ypu guys want a woman that brings something to the table, a woman with good career and education, yet you want her to be the copy of your grandma grin Besides, Grandma must have had help from family and friends raising her kids and keeping home....what does the modern woman have? Since its wahing machine, load it and fold the cloths as your contribution to the house work biko. Be in charge of bathing the kids and getting them ready for school in the morning while madam makes their food and lunch pack....etc. Do you wonder why the whites don't pull the evil woman's card in divorce as much as the African women? Because their men were not trained like ours to subservient women. Unfortunately, we are still raising our boys the way Grandma raised our dads.

Pls interview 10 out of the nigerian marriages in trouble there to hear the cause of the discord....life can be much easier if we do the right thing.

Again I ask you, do you expect a man to pay 60-80% of the bills and still be the one to do the laundry and cook? Is this your definition of equality? The only part I accept is helping out with the kids, maybe bathing them and taking them to school etc but that food and laundry, lai lai! You brought out example were they shared financial responsibilities 50/50 but how many households do you know that split bills this way and are happy?
Re: My Friend Is Currently Going Through A Divorce In UK &having A Hell Of A Time by ahnie: 11:44pm On Apr 17, 2023
Sisi the sisi....you forgot to add *Fa* to the end comment.
sisisioge:


How many times in a week do you need a paint job, carpentry, plumbing, mowing and all those supposed men's jobs? The average family with kids eat 3 times a day, laundry once per week, sweeping once per day, caring for the kids round the clock, etc. Again if both are working and contributing, it is too much to ask of a woman to shoulder those chores alone. The latest auto vacuum cleaning is still a new thing in homes, good old brooms and vacuum are human energy consuming tools to use!

I bet your Grandma disnt have to work and share bills equally with her husband, she didnt invest so much money and time into a professional career and education only to have to take on the wifely duties in absolution. Ypu guys want a woman that brings something to the table, a woman with good career and education, yet you want her to be the copy of your grandma grin Besides, Grandma must have had help from family and friends raising her kids and keeping home....what does the modern woman have? Since its wahing machine, load it and fold the cloths as your contribution to the house work biko. Be in charge of bathing the kids and getting them ready for school in the morning while madam makes their food and lunch pack....etc. Do you wonder why the whites don't pull the evil woman's card in divorce as much as the African women? Because their men were not trained like ours to subservient women. Unfortunately, we are still raising our boys the way Grandma raised our dads.

Pls interview 10 out of the nigerian marriages in trouble there to hear the cause of the discord....life can be much easier if we do the right thing.
Re: My Friend Is Currently Going Through A Divorce In UK &having A Hell Of A Time by sisisioge: 11:47pm On Apr 17, 2023
ahnie:
Sisi the sisi....you forgot to add *Fa* to the end comment.

grin grin grin grin

I diddidnt want to over corrupt the english for the guy ni fa grin
Re: My Friend Is Currently Going Through A Divorce In UK &having A Hell Of A Time by ahnie: 11:48pm On Apr 17, 2023
cheesy
sisisioge:


grin grin grin grin

I diddidnt want to over corrupt the english for the guy ni fa grin
Re: My Friend Is Currently Going Through A Divorce In UK &having A Hell Of A Time by abbey621(m): 11:49pm On Apr 17, 2023
armyofone:


Nothing is or should be a man's or woman's job anymore.
Woman paints, mow lawn, do plumbing (yes, lay on the ground, open the drain, and get it fixed etc.
They can do oil change cheesy and replace tires.
Point is - nobody should be tag with specific duties - when your woman is also working and bringing in paycheck to support the family, you the man must be supportive in the house cooking, cleaning etc 50/50 or not, it is your home too - join hands in building it.
I have heard some men don't want to read to their kids. They say it is a woman job! Ummmm
In marriage, all hands must be on deck. It is simple - be each other support/helpmate/backbone etc.

Yea in an ideal world this would be true but unfortunately it does not work that way in real life. Mowing the lawn, changing tires, plumbing fixing while she has a man is looked upon as wickedness and an act of disgust. I'm sure you have many female friends or family, ask them how they feel about this. Talk is cheap but when it comes to actually doing these things, you'll realize women don't really want that kind of equality. My wife of 8 years would rather I do these things than to share cooking responsibilities with her, in fact she still told me yesterday, mr.man stay out of my kitchen grin grin grin
Re: My Friend Is Currently Going Through A Divorce In UK &having A Hell Of A Time by ozo13(m): 11:53pm On Apr 17, 2023
mployer:


You women has no iota of sympathy in you.

You are wicked down to every fiber of your being, reason I don't loose guard when dealing with women. I always prepare for the worst and stay one step ahead in the game.

Hakimi remains a hero.
no time to check time.Any madam wey do anyhow go collect anyhow.
Re: My Friend Is Currently Going Through A Divorce In UK &having A Hell Of A Time by sisisioge: 11:53pm On Apr 17, 2023
abbey621:


Again I ask you, do you expect a man to pay 60-80% of the bills and still be the one to do the laundry and cook? Is this your definition of equality? The only part I accept is helping out with the kids, maybe bathing them and taking them to school etc but that food and laundry, lai lai! You brought out example were they shared financial responsibilities 50/50 but how many households do you know that split bills this way and are happy?

It will shock you that a lot of women are dropping more than 50% of the share and the men still expect the royal treatment... we all know it's not strange to find women earning more than men in the abroad nowadays. She earns more, drops more, yet you want to subservient her....it mostly dont end well. Meanwhile, I'm sure a lot of women would rather share the bills and chores with men equally to at least ease the burden of the unpaid work( chores) on themselves.

2 Likes

Re: My Friend Is Currently Going Through A Divorce In UK &having A Hell Of A Time by abbey621(m): 12:26am On Apr 18, 2023
sisisioge:


It will shock you that a lot of women are dropping more than 50% of the share and the men still expect the royal treatment... we all know it's not strange to find women earning more than men in the abroad nowadays. She earns more, drops more, yet you want to subservient her....it mostly dont end well. Meanwhile, I'm sure a lot of women would rather share the bills and chores with men equally to at least ease the burden of the unpaid work( chores) on themselves.

Okay I won't argue with what I don't know but in the USA according to an audit of Lexis Nexis that my team did last year, men still earn 15-20% more than women in the average household here. Another thing that I'm sure of, if she earns more and is willing to split the bill 50/50, me sef go tie apron and turn into Chef Ramsay, who no like enjoyment grin grin grin grin
Re: My Friend Is Currently Going Through A Divorce In UK &having A Hell Of A Time by goody234: 1:17am On Apr 18, 2023
I always ask this question to people who want to japa as a married couple " How strong is your marriage because it will be tested "

1 Like

Re: My Friend Is Currently Going Through A Divorce In UK &having A Hell Of A Time by gare(f): 2:35am On Apr 18, 2023
[quote author=IyaTola post=122550192][/quote]

Which one is his going to see his kids ? I know for sure he has committed half of the offenses labeled against him, if the wide want a divorce let her go, nothing would happen to the kids, they are with their mother.

Only this he would pay is child support and that will be when he gets a job. Some guys they tire me, lost his job because he went to see his kids with their mother, that is foolishness, tell that your friend to grow up or give him a good slap to reset his brain

1 Like

Re: My Friend Is Currently Going Through A Divorce In UK &having A Hell Of A Time by JeffreyJunior: 2:47am On Apr 18, 2023
armyofone:


Nothing is or should be a man's or woman's job anymore.
Woman paints, mow lawn, do plumbing (yes, lay on the ground, open the drain, and get it fixed etc.
They can do oil change cheesy and replace tires.
Point is - nobody should be tag with specific duties - when your woman is also working and bringing in paycheck to support the family, you the man must be supportive in the house cooking, cleaning etc 50/50 or not, it is your home too - join hands in building it.
I have heard some men don't want to read to their kids. They say it is a woman job! Ummmm
In marriage, all hands must be on deck. It is simple - be each other support/helpmate/backbone etc.
I'm sure they will call you simp as usual for making sense.

Some men see themselves as demigod and forget we are talking about their homes here.

Helping wifey with house chores does not make one less a man just as helping in raising the kids too including reading and singing for them before bed times. A man must simp for someone naa haba. I don't have problem simping for my daughter full time and my wifey part time. cheesy

But ehm, for the bolded, perhaps my woman is not part of the women you're talking about because that one don't even crosscheck the charge in her vehicle against the distance she intends to drive.

All she knows is to get in and drive. For warning lights including low tire pressure and everything else, she calls Jeffrey or car insurance. cheesy

1 Like

Re: My Friend Is Currently Going Through A Divorce In UK &having A Hell Of A Time by galantjoe(m): 3:06am On Apr 18, 2023
I don't why people fight over their children during divorce. It is because he wanted to see his children that he was arrested as a result he lost his job, etc.

Men should know that children are better taken care by their mom. They should leave children to their mom to care for until when they re of age, they will certainly look for you.
Re: My Friend Is Currently Going Through A Divorce In UK &having A Hell Of A Time by Tannhauser(m): 4:03am On Apr 18, 2023
efficiencie:


Strange women do these things and even worse. Strange women, olosho incorporated, are capable of every evil under the sun. They can cook up all manner of false charges to spite anyone. The strange woman has leveraged the laws of the West to finish the man and he deserves it. Men deserve their wives because they chose their wives based on their desires. And if your desires are immensely stupid you can expect the result of these desires to lead to catastrophe. I only hope he doesn't commit suicide. He should count all his losses as school fees, the price he needs to pay to learn the lesson he should have learned before getting married, move out of the UK to escape prison and restart his life afresh. If he survives this he will become a better mentor for others who are entering marriage as a compound fool but if he is overwhelmed by this and succumbs to depression then it is such a shame.

Verily, verily, I say unto thee, thou art wise.
Re: My Friend Is Currently Going Through A Divorce In UK &having A Hell Of A Time by onatisi(m): 4:06am On Apr 18, 2023
IyaTola:
is not as easy as you claim.
By the time he has high blood pressure and is near death , be will find out how easy it is at times to just run and recover rather than die fighting a lost cause

1 Like

Re: My Friend Is Currently Going Through A Divorce In UK &having A Hell Of A Time by favour32(m): 4:08am On Apr 18, 2023
IYA_TOLA WITH FAKE OR EDITED NEWS!
2021 OLD STUFF FROM SOMEONE ELSE.
RUN!
DON'T COMMENT!
Re: My Friend Is Currently Going Through A Divorce In UK &having A Hell Of A Time by Tannhauser(m): 4:10am On Apr 18, 2023
galantjoe:
I don't why people fight over their children during divorce. It is because he wanted to see his children that he was arrested as a result he lost his job, etc.

Men should know that children are better taken care by their mom. They should leave children to their mom to care for until when they re of age, they will certainly look for you.


Oga, children raised by single dads tend to do better in life than those raised by single mums. Before you quote me, do a little ten minute research. You think raising an adult male is a woman's job? Women are great, but let's be truthful to ourselves.

2 Likes

Re: My Friend Is Currently Going Through A Divorce In UK &having A Hell Of A Time by TenQ: 4:11am On Apr 18, 2023
[quote author=IyaTola post=122550192][/quote]
If only half the allegations is true, he must be a difficult person to live with.

Unfortunately, in Europe, it's a woman's world. It is either you treat your wife well OR she unleashes Government assisted and Legal VIOLENCE on you.

You friend is experiencing this right now.

He has no case o!
It is a loosing battle. The best he can do now is to cooperate

1 Like

Re: My Friend Is Currently Going Through A Divorce In UK &having A Hell Of A Time by Berankis: 4:16am On Apr 18, 2023
McStoic:


Why do most of you women support your fellow women when
any marital issues comes up? Everyone knows how bad and unfair Western laws are meant to favour women even when they're at fault

This kind of story has been told several times and most times the women use their advantage unfairly. Say the truth, if your own blood brother is kicked out of a home he sweated for or made not to see his kids just like that, will you support it?

It's the same UK that a man can be jailed and punished simply because a woman raised an unverified allegation against him. The West need to look into these things sha...
The west won't look into anything. They are clout chasers as well, always want to be seen "protecting" the so-called vulnerable in the society.
Re: My Friend Is Currently Going Through A Divorce In UK &having A Hell Of A Time by Darkestking: 4:56am On Apr 18, 2023
olabrinks:
Because he is your friend, you have painted him to be the victim. Are these allegations or did he actually commit all these things listed? What exactly pushed the wife to divorce him and are there any ways they can reconcile, because it’s going to be a very very long battle for him starting afresh.

Women lie about abuse all the time. Especially when it comes to divorce. They lie because they know the law favours them when they do.
Re: My Friend Is Currently Going Through A Divorce In UK &having A Hell Of A Time by Gerrard59(m): 4:56am On Apr 18, 2023
mployer:


You women has no iota of sympathy in you.

You are wicked down to every fiber of your being, reason I don't loose guard when dealing with women. I always prepare for the worst and stay one step ahead in the game.

Hakimi remains a hero.

Almost a thousand likes shocked shocked

Nairaland is unsafe for women o.

3 Likes

Re: My Friend Is Currently Going Through A Divorce In UK &having A Hell Of A Time by Gerrard59(m): 5:02am On Apr 18, 2023
IyaTola:
You are Nigeria with no power supply
Oppressed by Police
You suffering unemployment and you want to ban me in Australia,
Go ahead ban me!!!

This one that is in Iyana Ipaja doing ashawo work claims she is in Australia? grin grin

Na the mods I blame. Instead of Seun to be strict with how threads are pushed to the Front Page, he spends time attacking Obidients. Honestly, Seun is lucky he started nairaland when the Internet hadn't penetrated Nigeria like today. Na my generation and those in their 30s & 40s dey keep you going. I strongly doubt the upcoming generation would be so hooked to Nairaland. Instagram vs TikTok is a good example.

1 Like

Re: My Friend Is Currently Going Through A Divorce In UK &having A Hell Of A Time by Yoighaman(m): 5:46am On Apr 18, 2023
mployer:


You women has no iota of sympathy in you.

You are wicked down to every fiber of your being, reason I don't loose guard when dealing with women. I always prepare for the worst and stay one step ahead in the game.

Hakimi remains a hero.

The very reason I last 'fell in love' 17 years ago and getting married will always be under consideration.

The earlier you understand some things about women, the better for you, your mental health, your emotions, your loved ones, your finances, your future and ultimately, your life.

Lesson: When dealing with any woman, whether girlfriend or wife; use your head and leave your heart out of it; it can be very demanding and challenging, but it is for your own good.

Best wishes.

1 Like

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