Fellow Nairalanders I have been dating these girl for some times now, but all these days she has been lying to me that she don't take alcoholic drinks.
On several occasion in the process of chating with her friends they told me she drinks heavily but i refused to believed that because i have never seen her taking alcoholic drinks before. I just discovered yesterday night that she is heavily drunk and i can even perceive it my self. I don't take alcohol and have promised my self that i can never get married to a girl that drinks, this is because i know what drinking has done to my dad. I have so much fell in love with this lady and about proposing to her, so I don't know if at all it is worth it and I will welcome advise on ways to make her stop drinking. Thank you all as you advice me on what to do.

talk it out wit er

Yeah . .conversation helps . . if she no gree, move on. Ur decision to marry someone who does not drink seems cemented.

OP i hope say she n o dey smoke igbo on top of am?

HOw to avoid/stop drinking alcohol  

hmm. . . . . interesting

Start drinking and learn how to view the world from her point of view

Thank you all for the advice so far, but sincerely I still need more advise because I am so confused right now. What are the likely problems to face as a result of getting married to a girl that drinks heavily but doesn't smoke. Please I will like to know before I take my decision.

@op talk to her about.
If she promises to quit, monitor her cos most drunks find it very hard to quit. if she wouldnt quit, then leave her.
Its better to ve a failed realationship dan a failed marriage!!!

dont marry her. shes a liar a drunk. are you stoopidd!

Sincerly, if you love her try to help her by making her recognized as a alcohol addict then go with her to meetings talking about that, and support try as your best supporting her
Now it's a very very tough and harsh position, being along with an alcoholic but if you want her to figure this out with her it"s good but you have to know that it's a very painful situation

The question is: Are your love and patience big enough to figure this out
But I wouldn't blame you if you prefer leaving her, because you have to think about your future as well

kpolli:

Start drinking and learn how to view the world from her point of view

agabya buruku

poster

alcoholisim is not easy to deal with. The first thing is to find out if she actually thinks she has a problem then go from there. If she doesn't think she has a problem, then your relationship is as good as done because you would have to take Kpolli's advice in order to make it work.
I dont know where you are located but in some western countries there are alcoholics annonymous programs she can attend and gradually quit if she really is commited to quitting.

Alcohol is also a drug and drugs are hard to kick when then get a hold of you i wish you the best but if you do proceed you will need lots of patience or take up drinking yourself

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. You have a girl you love so much. She probably kept it from you because she didnt want to hurt/lose you. Now that you found out?
Nobody is perfect, including you. If Alcohol is her problem, then deal with it, its too early to think of scramming because of one little misperfection. The person you would leave her for nko? What if that one smokes wEEd? You will look for another?

lefulefu:

OP i hope say she n o dey smoke igbo on top of am?

U no well @ all

Help her to stop, If she wants to stop. I like taking my beer once in a while. But I don't lie about it. beside if you don't like it have a nice day

Op make u tank God say no b syrup she dey sip sef, she myt b d wrong person bt d most important ting is she luvs u ryt and datz why u luv bak bak.bsides 4rm personal xperience i know women dat shak r xplosive in bed, dat matters 2 me.as per d lie lets just presume is situational

You can't change her, this is who she is.

BOUNCE!!

Blood_Shed:

You can't change her, this is who she is.

That is a lie. It will be like saying that there is no salvation. Change is the only constant thing or did you forget that?

pkv:

Op make u tank God say no b syrup she dey sip sef, she myt b d wrong person bt d most important ting is she luvs u ryt and datz why u luv bak bak.bsides 4rm personal xperience i know women dat shak[b] r xplosive in bed[/b], dat matters 2 me.as per d lie lets just presume is situational

oh boy, see where conversation dey go oooooooo.

Blazing88:

@op talk to her about.
If she promises to quit, monitor her cos most drunks find it very hard to quit. if she wouldnt quit, then leave her.
Its better to ve a failed realationship dan a failed marriage!!!

SECONDED!

Blazing88:

@op talk to her about.
If she promises to quit, monitor her cos most drunks find it very hard to quit. if she wouldnt quit, then leave her.
Its better to ve a failed realationship dan a failed marriage!!!

I will like to support this, but at the same search your heart very well, if you can cope with the situation go ahead. If you cannot cope with it don't marry her.

lmao, i love you kpoli,


Op, not everyone is going to turn out like your dad, Free the girl abeg, unless she has a drinking problem, then maybe u don't want to deal with that,

would you feel better if she abused prescription drugs instead?  

if she told u before u found out,4give her n tell her d effect of alcohol

@op the greatest mistake you'll ever make is to think you can change her. You'll only be deluding yourself. If she wanted to change,all this time you've been together & knowing your stance on alchohol is enough reason for her to have a rethink but alchoholics don't change,ok may be 1 in every 10,000. Take this from someone who knows.
Once again let me reiterate,do not dissipate your energy on a futile venture. I couldn't stress this enough

cold:

@op the greatest mistake you'll ever make is to think you can change her. You'll only be deluding yourself. If she wanted to change,all this time you've been together & knowing your stance on alchohol is enough reason for her to have a rethink but alchoholics don't change,ok may be 1 in every 10,000. Take this from someone who knows.
Once again let me reiterate,do not dissipate your energy on a futile venture. I couldn't stress this enough

And who says she can not stop, in as much as it has become a habit (which are like leopard spots) it does not mean it can not be controlled, the situation needs courage, patience and resilience.

Health wise, the effects of alcohol on a woman are very devastating and tend to be long term, if you intend to severe the relationship based on her alcoholic nature i would say that is purely your decision that is not well thought.

If you don't drink and smoke, have you considered that you must also have irritating habits that she is also putting up with? if you truly love someone and the feeling is mutual you would fight for it.

You want to marry a drunk,

Flee my brother.

she is omo jaye jaye

@OP: tell her the story of Amy Winehouse, i'm sure she will change,

Alcoholism is one of the more manageable ills I'd find in a woman if you ask me. Who needs a teetotal with, for instance, an addiction to other 'treacherous' activities? I'm sure it's something you can deal with.

Its funny how ppl come here and talk of love love love, please check divorce statistics again before advising someone to do something based on emotion again, SHE MAY NEVER CHANGE, if you cannot cope wit it,now is the best time to move on with your life. on the other hand, you can come back next year and start another thread that your alcoholic wife refused to change.i'm sure we'll be willing to help you still

Johnbosco7:

Fellow Nairalanders I have been dating these girl for some times now, but all these days she has been lying to me that she don't take alcoholic drinks.
On several occasion in the process of chating with her friends they told me she drinks heavily but i refused to believed that because i have never seen her taking alcoholic drinks before. I just discovered yesterday night that she is heavily drunk and i can even perceive it my self. I don't take alcohol and[b] have promised my self that i can never get married to a girl that drinks,[/b] this is because i know what drinking has done to my dad. I have so much fell in love with this lady and about proposing to her, so I don't know if at all it is worth it and I will welcome advise on ways to make her stop drinking. Thank you all as you advice me on what to do.

you answered it yourself

Just talk it out wit her.thts bad for a supposed wife to be anyway,but ur decision is finale on this.its beta sorted out now.

just know one thing the only imposibilites in life is to change someone, She can only change if she has decided to, So its a real fact u av to pray about for God to change her, she is a lady, she will ever be a social drinker, !