Ma brus, as a yung man stil in his early 20's i no go advise u make u start 2 dey invest in dat grl yet. Engagement b4 investment wuld b smarter. Cos awon campus bois dey para, tnx.

i am a married woman myself i thnk helping her further her education is not a bad idea.
my only issue is once she starts going to school meeting other guys etc her eye will open well then it can only go 2 ways

1) she will graduate and not marry u cos she is now a big chic
if she is not olojukokoro
2) u will have an educated wife and live happily ever after

commit it to the Lord and he will direct u

Hello my brother,

i think you ve got a good thing in your hands so do not lose her because her educational level is not up to standards, rather i think she can be molded and polished. People would talk trash but it all comes down to what you really want,an educated wife who will make life miserable and doesn't listen to you or someone who can be taught and is open to new things and gives you Joy, It s your call my brother, i wish you the Best.

kookoo:

Hello my friend   26  October 2011

I hope u read this as you have had a lot of responses from other people

I married someone which led to divorce and met this lady and knew little about her education
Only found out when we were a bit close

I found she has only primary education and speaking among my friends was going to be a problem
I am postgraduate and professional and I can tell you that she is God sent.

I ask myself why I did not meet her earlier  but would I have been interested with HER then?

So simply, you can change her education- wise as am doing slowly with mine

Character you may not be able to change

So do well to study her well and then make your decisison. Dont let education be your starting point as I could have lost a good person

then lastly GOOD LUCK and God bless

If her character is ok, then put u'r money where u'r heart is and train her

19years old , is young and judging by what you said, she seems ambitious about her life too.

Train if you've got the means but at the back of your mind don't do it because you want to marry her, do it because you're serving humanity.

If she still wants you after her education, let it be by her own free will not as a way of "paying you back"


Believe me, you really can't tie anyone down just because of what you will or will not do to them. Selah

@ Poster Send her to national open university of Nigeria so that She will not be exposed to young playboys who may snatch her from you.

Don't think of leaving her, train her if you are capable. She is ambitious, intelligent, a wife material,, what else do you need. Invest on her. I understand if you think she would become exposed and jilt you, do it as if you are serving humanity but if you still have a feeling about this send her where young boy are rare. If she is trustworthy then you don't need to worry. She will be your wife and a good one if you play your cards well. If you still don't want to loose her, go to her family and do the engagement rites. Hope you understand me?

OP,

You can send her to school and that deals with the problem. Since she speaks good English, why are you even worried?

One of my uncles met his wife as a school cert holder and today she is a high court judge after he sent her to read Law.

Your bed will turn out how you make it. Some of these so-called educated girls we have are very unrefined in their behaviour and speech and cannot be wife material. So which one would you prefer?

Becoming wife material is upbringing which is done from birth. Schooling is just a matter of years. So choose.

OP,

You can send her to school and that deals with the problem. Since she speaks good English, why are you even worried?

One of my uncles met his wife as a school cert holder and today she is a high court judge after he sent her to read Law.

Your bed will turn out how you make it. Some of these so-called educated girls we have are very unrefined in their behaviour and speech and cannot be wife material. So which one would you prefer?

Becoming wife material is upbringing which is done from birth. Schooling is just a matter of years. So choose.

The hunter that succeded in killing an elephant but still complains that he had failed because he could not trap the bushrat. DO you define education as going to school? you better hang on to what you have before you become kobo wise and Naira foolish!

She is a nice woman with top class qualities?

And she is Nigerian woman?

She is wife material?

She speaks intelligently you would not know she is not educated?

She is unfortunately not in a position to continue her education?

But you are wondering if you should leave her because she is not educated?

My advice to you is to dumb her and then send me her contact details.

Go for one of the numerous shythead Nigerian girls that are educated.

Are our grand mothers graduates?
Why dont you marry her and bring her up to the level you want her to be?
What is wrong in "sowing" into your wife's future when you ll be the one to reap the benefits?

Bros, when you find hold even in an unrefined and unpolished state you've got to make a little effort to make it appreciable after which you have conquered all doubts within you.

Hmm Send her to school, send her to school everywhere!

ok oo. @ poster, u did not say if she feels the same way u do for her. Its just a month relationship and u hv already known everything about her. hmm. Life and marriages are farther than the eyes can see.

She may be one of the few good girls yes! i wd advice u play the role of a mentor for now. If she is already learning fashion designing on her own believe me she has plan for her life, help her to achieve it.

if her educational status can scare u then u dont love her enough.

POSTER must be a slowpoke.  If he likes her and wants her,  why does he want our opinion.

YOU no go send am go SCHOOL !!!   Even Aunty DAME,  after Election has been refined and polished. New photos of she are finest than pre-election and faboulous when compared to governorship days !!

CLOSE POST!!

No big deal if it's education that is pulling you back get her registered perhaps for Neco again after which higher institution shikena!

I thank God she can speak english and she is willing to further. My girl friend had similar problem but am encouraging her financial to further her education.Right now i have graduated and by december she will be in ND2 studying business admin in the same poly i graduated from. Some of my friends advised me to forget about her but my brother this lady is multi talented. She can cook good food, she is a good tailor, good caterer and is fantastic in hair making. Above all she interacts intelligently. I have no option than to send her to school. To achieve this, i paid her school fees for the 2 years at once. Right now we can only concentrate on transportation and feeding.she is on a full time cos i dont believe in part time studies. Do ur best for her and u will not regret.

greggng:

I thank God she can speak english and she is willing to further. My girl friend had similar problem but am encouraging her financial to further her education.Right now i have graduated and by december she will be in ND2 studying business admin in the same poly i graduated from. Some of my friends advised me to forget about her but my brother this lady is multi talented. She can cook good food, she is a good tailor, good caterer and is fantastic in hair making. Above all she interacts intelligently. I have no option than to send her to school. To achieve this, i paid her school fees for the 2 years at once. Right now we can only concentrate on transportation and feeding.she is on a full time cos i dont believe in part time studies. Do your best for her and u will not regret.

you are a good man, to learn from

After going thru all d replies here,i was prompted to put in my own little speech!

WhyAWhy:

19years old , is young and judging by what you said, she seems ambitious about her life too.

Train if you've got the means but at the back of your mind don't do it because you want to marry her, do it because you're serving humanity.

If she still wants you after her education, let it be by her own free will not as a way of "paying you back"


Believe me, you really can't tie anyone down just because of what you will or will not do to them. Selah

My brother,U r indeed wise for ur speech was d best on dis thread,as for d OP wateva will happen will happen,do not ruin dat gal's future,if u want 2 marry her,SEND HER TO SKOOL! Peace out!!

She still has a long way to go at 19.because she is willing to go futher ,academically,you will do well to offer her your support.

the problem with not finding someone u wanna marry the way they are now is that by drastically changing the way she is now, u r giving her wings and there r no guarantees she will feel the same way about u at the end as she may use the wings to fly away!
u can mitigate this by starting a family why she is still in school, to prevent lots of regrets on ur part in the future!

the streets of Canada are littered with african men who came to africa to marry half baked women bring them to canada and send them back to school while they hold down two jobs and once the woman finishes (and usually the women become nurses) n makes more money than the man they say bye bye!

there r older more educated women than she is that will meet ur currents needs,
but good luck with the choice u make

it sometimes works as long as u do not do everything for her as many people have noted,

@OP,

I forgot to add by the way, if she was wayward she will not humble herself to learn fashion designing and get a job. These are rare qualities in naija girls. She could have just gotten a sugar daddy to take care of all these things. But rather she is willing to work and save to go to school. That is exceptional. Otherwise i would have told you to let her be. She seems mature beyond her 19years and not materialistic. Besides, if we dont try to help people, we have not served any purpose in life. Someone helped our parents or grand parents too at a point in time and we are reaping the benefits (free education, opportunity e.t.c.). 

This whole discussion was getting reasonable until Chipmunkey hopped in.

Wat a way to reason!!!

I have a similar experience and i guess mine is a little bit messier. As im typing after reading the admonishing posts, I was motivated to call her after a year of seperation and "heroo" was the response i heard. this is just a tip of the iceberg. She managed to finish secondary school and is currently 27. She has no much desire for education and was a little bit motivated by my advice which has been hitherto very difficult to implement due to funds. There is also a striking thing here: SHE IS A PERFECT WIFE MATERIAL AND LOVED ME TO A FAULT. It unfortunately struck where I swore not to compromise for some reasons i cant disclose.

I am convinced that seperation was the supposed thing.

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Just like most Nairalanders , you scroll thru what the day has an make a pick of what stories captures you and you go ahead to read its content. To be honest with you the reason i read our post is because it reflects my personal story. My spouse falls into this category and i will tell you i have no regrets .If i was to go back and make a choice once more , i will still pick her again and again.Our marriage is blessed with two boys and she is on the verge of going back to school as an undergraduate. take your chance ,

Hmmmm! You have all spoken so well. I so much appreciate those experiences shared, which also give me the impetus to reason beyond the current situation. I say a big thank you to you all. May the almighty God continue to grant us His undisputed wisdom (amen). Thanks, once more.

She 's still very young. Dont even be thinking of marriage now. Let her go to school but be-careful dont put all your mind to it. She can go to school and then fall in love with a course mate or lecturer . But still then if after school she still chooses you after all the exposure and everything then she really loves you. Else dont come back to nairaland crying that you have spent all your savings sending a girl to school and she ran way with another man

Can't help but smile at all these comments and the post itself, has got same experience but decided not to see her as an undergraduate she's but as Her, mine is so hardworking, so business minded , least materialistic and focused, i am tripped, when i met her i just had to drop the tot of not datin any lady thats not a graduate, my dear, HAPPINESS IS THE MAIN THING, even some of these so-called learned ladies are frustrating at home front, so i say- RIDE ON

The poster want a ready made babe and not the cut and sow because he should know what to do with a 19year old lady. There are lot of mama 40 still in school. Maybe the poster is not pegged yet