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Please Stop Farting In Church - Religion - Nairaland

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Please Stop Farting In Church by Ishilove: 2:39am On Nov 02, 2011
Farting In Church

People don't respect the house of God again. Farting in the sanctuary during a prayer session on a hot evening is just plain NASTY.
The most annoying thing is you can't detect the actual culprit; when it happened to me the foulness emanated from everywhere and nowhere. Everyone {including the culprit, i'm sure} in my section had identical  expressions of disgust, and good God was the stench SHARP and HEAVY!!!

I don't know maybe the evil creature ate a dead rat or sumfin angry

The odor seared its way into the core of my brain, destroyed my concentration and effectively ruined the rest of the service for me. Some people are just agents of darkness planted to distract and provoke serious worshippers. Ah ahn! Mscheww angry

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Please Stop Farting In Church by Emmyk(m): 3:20am On Nov 02, 2011
lol
Re: Please Stop Farting In Church by PastorAIO: 11:07am On Nov 02, 2011
IF you have a discerning spirit you can find the culprit. Especially during a heavy prayer session where the spirit is strong.

3 Likes

Re: Please Stop Farting In Church by Ishilove: 11:57am On Nov 02, 2011
Pastor AIO,my spirit was huddled in a corner heaving and gagging in disgust.

Mods it seems i double posted so please delete the second one. Thanks

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Please Stop Farting In Church by OmoPastor(m): 2:51pm On Nov 02, 2011
Very funny grin
Re: Please Stop Farting In Church by WAVixen: 2:55pm On Nov 02, 2011
:d
Re: Please Stop Farting In Church by kokoye(m): 2:57pm On Nov 02, 2011
I beg to disagree

Maybe the fart was an evil spirit or sickness being ejected and sent to the lake or fire.

No be deliverance be dat??  grin

5 Likes

Re: Please Stop Farting In Church by gunpoint(m): 3:01pm On Nov 02, 2011
grin
My God! I haven't laffd like dis in a long time.
My seriously, if you were MFM the prayer point wulda changed to "make d pesin wey mess dis mess fall down and die, DIE, DIE!!!"
Change church? undecided
Cos evn the pastor wey dey lead una 4 prayer 2 na suspect!
Re: Please Stop Farting In Church by freecocoa(f): 3:05pm On Nov 02, 2011
LMAO
But Op mess no get toilet na(no be me talk am o)
 Seriously though I don't think God will be mad if someone farts in church,after all its nature's call,agreed the odour can cause wahala but no be the person fault na.
As I was taught its wrong to be walking about in church,especially during prayers and sermon.
We know the right thing to do is go outside and mess but what if one can't hold it till he gets outside the door nko?or what if the person conducting the prayer session was in the middle of a serious prayer and the urge to fart comes,what should he do,excuse himself to go out and fart?
Op the thing really vex you but calm down,na God create mess.
Re: Please Stop Farting In Church by maxtum(m): 3:10pm On Nov 02, 2011
lol! reminds me of the one i did, JFK bound, ha! the seat so so comfortable and massage seat was in progress, just couldn't hold it anymore cuz the rest room was busy! thot it wouldn't smell, but my guess was dead wrong! let it out and before i could say "Jasper", The smell was bad!! very bad! even the hostess were forming nice smiles, and saying , Is nice flight or sometin?, men, i know i tried self!  lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed

Had to pretend i was vex and spread my exp. perfume and form! so to all the passengers on board, Date 17th oct 2011. so sorry, its nature call. wink i feel better now.

1 Like

Re: Please Stop Farting In Church by NET1(m): 3:14pm On Nov 02, 2011
LOL. cheesy cheesy cheesy The girl who did it must have been under intense intestinal pressure.LOL

.NET
Re: Please Stop Farting In Church by abhosts(m): 3:18pm On Nov 02, 2011
maxtum:

lol! reminds me of the one i did, JFK bound, ha! the seat so so comfortable and massage seat was in progress, just couldn't hold it anymore cuz the rest room was busy! thot it wouldn't smell, but my guess was dead wrong! let it out and before i could say "Jasper", The smell was bad!! very bad! even the hostess were forming nice smiles, and saying , Is nice flight or sometin?, men, i know i tried self!  lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed

Had to pretend i was vex and spread my exp. perfume and form! so to all the passengers on board, Date 17th oct 2011. so sorry, its nature call. wink i feel better now.

I cannot stop laughing!!
Re: Please Stop Farting In Church by Jencejyde(m): 3:19pm On Nov 02, 2011
;d ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d
Re: Please Stop Farting In Church by unongu(m): 3:26pm On Nov 02, 2011
Na who mess for church?!
Re: Please Stop Farting In Church by Godmother(f): 3:36pm On Nov 02, 2011
Lol grin
Re: Please Stop Farting In Church by eketchic: 3:53pm On Nov 02, 2011
People don't respect the house of God again. Farting in the sanctuary during a prayer session on a hot evening is just plain NASTY.
The most annoying thing is you can't detect the actual culprit; when it happened to me the foulness emanated from everywhere and nowhere. Everyone {including the culprit, i'm sure} in my section had identical  expressions of disgust, and good God was the stench SHARP and HEAVY!!! I don't know maybe the evil creature ate a dead rat or sumfin. The odor seared its way into the core of my brain, destroyed my concentration and effectively ruined the rest of the service for me. Some people are just agents of darkness planted to distract and provoke serious worshippers. Ah ahn! Mscheww
[/quote]

I no fit laugh! what if it was the Pastor? [quote author=Ishilove link=topic=794667.msg9462815#msg9462815 date=1320197950]
Farting In Church
Re: Please Stop Farting In Church by Nobody: 3:55pm On Nov 02, 2011
maxtum:

lol! reminds me of the one i did, JFK bound, ha! the seat so so comfortable and massage seat was in progress, just couldn't hold it anymore cuz the rest room was busy! thot it wouldn't smell, but my guess was dead wrong! let it out and before i could say "Jasper", The smell was bad!! very bad! even the hostess were forming nice smiles, and saying , Is nice flight or sometin?, men, i know i tried self!  lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed

Had to pretend i was vex and spread my exp. perfume and form! so to all the passengers on board, Date 17th oct 2011. so sorry, its nature call. wink i feel better now.
confession time. Lol. I can't stop laughing, what a funny thread!
Re: Please Stop Farting In Church by TeskyMan(m): 3:56pm On Nov 02, 2011
maxtum:

lol! reminds me of the one i did, JFK bound, ha! the seat so so comfortable and massage seat was in progress, just couldn't hold it anymore cuz the rest room was busy! thot it wouldn't smell, but my guess was dead wrong! let it out and before i could say "Jasper", The smell was bad!! very bad! even the hostess were forming nice smiles, and saying , Is nice flight or sometin?, men, i know i tried self!  lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed

Had to pretend i was vex and spread my exp. perfume and form! so to all the passengers on board, Date 17th oct 2011. so sorry, its nature call. wink i feel better now.

Ohh My God, this guy wan kill me with laugh. See my colleague they assume say I DEY CRAZE. Rolling on the floor.
Re: Please Stop Farting In Church by Ladilgs: 3:57pm On Nov 02, 2011
How do we know that the OP is not the culprit? Sometimes guilty conscience can do many things.
Re: Please Stop Farting In Church by vvnowusu: 4:17pm On Nov 02, 2011
I Did something like this some 15 years back. I was in a public transport moving from Ibadan to Lagos. Somewhere on the highway, this fart kept poking me and i was holding back because there was a younger boy sitting next to me who was not asleep. Everyone else except driver, myself and the boy were asleep. When i could not hold anymore, i had to let it go. That  boy paid for not sleeping that day. The smell was like hell. The boy gave me a very very bad look and all i could do was to laugh. Am not sure i apologized to that young man then. If he can read this, then here is my apology. I am really sorry.

2 Likes

Re: Please Stop Farting In Church by stepo707: 4:20pm On Nov 02, 2011
vvnowusu:

I Did something like this some 15 years back. I was in a public transport moving from Ibadan to Lagos. Somewhere on the highway, this fart kept poking me and i was holding back because there was a younger boy sitting next to me who was not asleep. Everyone else except driver, myself and the boy were asleep. When i could not hold anymore, i had to let it go. That  boy paid for not sleeping that day. The smell was like hell. The boy gave me a very very bad look and all i could do was to laugh. Am not sure i apologized to that young man then. If he can read this, then here is my apology. I am really sorry.
grin grin
Re: Please Stop Farting In Church by executinal(m): 4:21pm On Nov 02, 2011
maxtum:

lol! reminds me of the one i did, JFK bound, ha! the seat so so comfortable and massage seat was in progress, just couldn't hold it anymore cuz the rest room was busy! thot it wouldn't smell, but my guess was dead wrong! let it out and before i could say "Jasper", The smell was bad!! very bad! even the hostess were forming nice smiles, and saying , Is nice flight or sometin?, men, i know i tried self!  lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed

Had to pretend i was vex and spread my exp. perfume and form! so to all the passengers on board, Date 17th oct 2011. so sorry, its nature call. wink i feel better now.
You bad no be small grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
Re: Please Stop Farting In Church by switcyndy(f): 4:24pm On Nov 02, 2011
lol grin
Re: Please Stop Farting In Church by Dyt(f): 4:35pm On Nov 02, 2011
oh my
dis s d best v read so far
sm1 tell me 2 stop lavin
Re: Please Stop Farting In Church by HighChief4(m): 4:50pm On Nov 02, 2011
@OP----Maybe it could be that the culprit was not able to fart in a long time and the prayers made him/her fart. Could be miracle you know
Re: Please Stop Farting In Church by Nobody: 4:56pm On Nov 02, 2011
LMAO, This should be in the joke section, This had made my boring day. I need to pack my stuffs from work and meet My Freecocoa at home,

[size=5pt]Still laughing at the thread while heading home, Hmm wot a day[/size]
Re: Please Stop Farting In Church by loneytunes(m): 5:09pm On Nov 02, 2011
Ishilove:

Farting In Church

People don't respect the house of God again. Farting in the sanctuary during a prayer session on a hot evening is just plain NASTY.
The most annoying thing is you can't detect the actual culprit; when it happened to me the foulness emanated from everywhere and nowhere. Everyone {including the culprit, i'm sure} in my section had identical  expressions of disgust, and good God was the stench SHARP and HEAVY!!! I don't know maybe the evil creature ate a dead rat or sumfin. The odor seared its way into the core of my brain, destroyed my concentration and effectively ruined the rest of the service for me. Some people are just agents of darkness planted to distract and provoke serious worshippers. Ah ahn! Mscheww

Lol
Re: Please Stop Farting In Church by abijossy: 5:15pm On Nov 02, 2011
I think one can actually engage the host of heaven to block such anus Until the culprit comes up to confess his/her sin grin

1 Like

Re: Please Stop Farting In Church by Johnnymoh: 5:24pm On Nov 02, 2011
Well God will always understand.  I did such when we were growing up.  I did it in my elder bros room as I was walking away from the room and in the process another friend of mine, came into the room.  So when the heat touch the ground our elder bros gave him a serious knock and the guy was arguing with him that he never did such and I was watching them from where I was innocently.  The matter almost caused a very serious fight.  Our elder bros said the friend was the only person with him in the room, so if he did not do it, it means the friend did. But the friend was innocent.  Farting is a serious deceitful element.

1 Like

Re: Please Stop Farting In Church by Xionez(m): 5:28pm On Nov 02, 2011
maxtum:

lol! reminds me of the one i did, JFK bound, ha! the seat so so comfortable and massage seat was in progress, just couldn't hold it anymore cuz the rest room was busy! thot it wouldn't smell, but my guess was dead wrong! let it out and before i could say "Jasper", The smell was bad!! very bad! even the hostess were forming nice smiles, and saying , Is nice flight or sometin?, men, i know i tried self!  lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed

Had to pretend i was vex and spread my exp. perfume and form! so to all the passengers on board, Date 17th oct 2011. so sorry, its nature call. wink i feel better now.
grin grin grin grin grin  grin grin

Ishilove:

Farting In Church

People don't respect the house of God again. Farting in the sanctuary during a prayer session on a hot evening is just plain NASTY.
The most annoying thing is you can't detect the actual culprit; when it happened to me the foulness emanated from everywhere and nowhere. Everyone {including the culprit, i'm sure} in my section had identical  expressions of disgust, and good God was the stench SHARP and HEAVY!!! I don't know maybe the evil creature ate a dead rat or sumfin. The odor seared its way into the core of my brain, destroyed my concentration and effectively ruined the rest of the service for me. Some people are just agents of darkness planted to distract and provoke serious worshippers. Ah ahn! Mscheww
ROTFLOL, you too?!
Maybe it was the moimoi or egg of Saturday's Party completing its final stage in digestion. Anyways, it was after that i realized the reason why people carry white handkerchiefs to church. Used to think it was mainly for praise and worship until the stink-bomb dropped. grin
Re: Please Stop Farting In Church by razznaija(f): 5:35pm On Nov 02, 2011
Re: Please Stop Farting In Church by Nobody: 5:44pm On Nov 02, 2011
f

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