You are not useless in any way shape or form. Everyone has something to contribute/ is good at something. You sound like a depressed person, so you need to take it easy. Just relax and think of how you can make the best out of your current situation. Despite how bad your father seems right now, he is doing you a big favour. As a man he does not want you to be a liability all your life, he is giving you enough to survive and move around to find your way. Look at it, if you have been spoiled to this age and they kept spoiling you, what incentive do you have to be your own man? It does not help any parent to spoil their male children especially because the world is not a forgiving one or a spoilt brats play ground. Sooner or later your parents will be gone, what will you do? If you dont know how to struggle for yourself or manage finances then you will run out of your inheritance and then . The man is helping you grow and become your own man. I am sure if you do some research and come up with a viable business plan in which he sees opportunity he will help you out financially. Just relax, take some time to think about your next move and adjust your behavior in anticipation of your financial request. . Goodluck to you. Make sure you dont walk with the wrong people, who already believe you are a child with a silver spoon and they will come up with all sorts of business plans to scam you. . Be original and think about your future. I dont think you have convinced your parents enough that you are responsible.

dayokanu:

I am a Nigerian, Went to school in Nigeria, and workedin Nigeria.

Some of those pictures are extremely exagerrated. I went to the most notorious school for Aluta in Nigeria which is OAU, I went for NYSC I hustled on the street got a job and did all that.

The last money I got from my parents was my transport fare to Bauchi for NYSC. My parents were civil servants and not rich in any sense of it. I had 3 younger ones who needed my parents attention more than me so I had to hustle for myself

If you are waiting for someone to spoonfeed you, You would always wait forever

I know a 40yr old who would still go to his mom's house to steal money from her purse Its the way you lay your life that you would live it

You have no choice than to hustle. You think if my dad is rich, I'd be hustling? With the situation in Nigeria? Because I want to prove a point I will suffer. . .err no. I will use my dad to get connections, get to know his business and enjoy my life.

stillwater:

You have no choice than to hustle. You think if my dad is rich, I'd be hustling? With the situation in Nigeria? Because I want to prove a point I will suffer. . .err no. I will use my dad to get connections, get to know his business and enjoy my life.

Stillwater I disagree with you. I know many people of means that were born into money that had a choice but decided to do without mommy or daddy's help. So maybe dayo had to but just because a persons parent has does not mean that they should not even attempt to try on their own. Once someone forms that mentality that there is someone to bail them out if things get rough they will never try their hardest

@poster

so you did not save over there or you were squandering your cash sending it to one nwa baby over here that has since disappeared. Story does not add up.

He might have come with a students visa in which case he would not be able to work. Still not as excuse. I just wonder what his plan was after graduation. He does not seem to be driven at all. If he was he wouldn't be on NR complaining about how much money they givehim but rather guidance on how to go about getting a position with his credential. At least he feels bad which means that he at least knows right from wrong

I don't get it, what is wrong with parents giving their 24 yr olds pocket money if they can afford to?

^^ Its a privilege for a parent to be giving money to a 24yr old not a right.

If you have a parent that gives you N100 at age 24 appreaciate it cos after sendig you to school he doesnt owe you anything more

Oh, so children are brought into this world by their parents just to go to school after which everyone hands off?

Thank GOd I did not grow up with that kind of mentality.

When you attain adulthood, Your parents dont have any compulsion to do anything for you.

In most advanced countries by age 18, Children even move out of their parents out, look for a job and start their own lives.

No parent prays to have a 24yr old son coming bowl in hand to beg for feeding money

In most advanced countries yes, and that is why most of the 18 yr olds move in with their boyfriends, this is the way I feel, I owe it to my kids to(to a certain age and yea 24 is still young to me) to take good care of them, I did not bring them into this world to abandon them after their studies, I don't care if the white people send their kids out @ 18 or 15, I don't bleeping care to know if it is a good practise or not, one thing I know for sure is, a child that wants to be smart, industrious and wise can be all of these and even more if he chooses to. May GOd bless my father who saw his kids as his responsibility even after studies.

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jennykadry:

Oh, so children are brought into this world by their parents just to go to school after which everyone hands off?

Thank GOd I did not grow up with that kind of mentality.

It is a priviledge not a right. That is what we are saying. Nobody is entitled to anything. God forbid what happens if you cannot provide financially for a child that you did not equip to be self sufficient. This is what we are looking at right now with the OP. To be honest it is children like this that end up finding the quick and easy way to make it. Thank God his parents can afford to put a roof over his head and give him money to do little things otherwise we would be having a different discussion now. A 24 year old is a full grown man. I would have been embarassed to take money from my parents at that age for day to day living to be honest I am even instilling in my little ones that way of thinking now. I have seen adults my age even that do not understad the reality of what is their bank account . Daddy always provided so even though they now have children and serious financial responsibilities they do not know how to separate wants from needs. I will never throw away my child but supplying my child with things I know they can earn on their own is almost the same as poisoning their life

Outstrip it is not a privilege but a right. It is the duty of every parent to see that every single one of their kids is well settled. I come from a family that my parents if not for marriage, will make sure that their kids are established and made comfy. None of us turned out to be useless, and like someone said when we visit NIgeria, my Dad makes sure that the house is cleaned from top to bottom, even the cobwebs in and on the cars are properly wiped clean before we touch NIgeria. I am responsible for my kids infact no child of mine is allowed to work to support him/herself in school. they are my kids and this is my opinion. I remember my dad saying something during one of our monthly family meetings years ago, he said "As long as I am Alive, I promise every single one of you my kids that you will not suffer, and if I have to work round the clock to make sure that happens, I will. I brought yous into this world and I will not rest until I am sure every one Is settled and settled well". Mind yous I did not come from a wealthy family.

once in every 2 months, I have my nursing home visits. There is this particular nursing home I visit, the "carers" there a lot of them just finished high school. They are about 9 of them and only one out of this 9 still lives with her parents, during one of my convo with one of them, she told me that she could not afford to pay rent and bills,so she moved in with her bf that way they can both share the rent and bills, I heard this and my heart bled. Why have people abandoned their parental responsibility just because they feel their kids are old enough to fend for themselves? The number of teenagers moving in with their bf's here is unbelievable. I don't want that for my child and if I have to work my backside 24/7, then so be it.

Jenny I think you are missing the point. I left home at 19 years of age. I could have stayed home if I wanted but I did not. Not that my reasoning was better but you are assuming that people do not make the decision to make it on their own if their parents are well off. Not the case at all. There are many people of means whose parents make sure they work through school. It is not because they are wicked or because they have decided to not live up to their end of the bargain.
I can see how that setup can work for many females but especially for males I don't know how that sort of handout way of thinking will benefit them. Maybe I am totally stuck on this because I was raised this way and I see the benefits of it. My parents never handed us any money and if for any reason there was a need for anything significant we had to account for it. It gives you the impression that teh only thing that is yours is what you work for. I am happy with that and I will try as much as I can to pass as much of that to my kids. I watch this show on finance and I cannot tell you how many times I have seen parents in retirement talking about how they have taken loans to put their children through school and now they cannot make ends meet. In my mind I am thinking are these children handicap that they let their parents take loans on their behalf. To me it is strange. Work builds character. It does not mean that someone is suffering. If the poster was 16 I would still caution him on expecting more and being bratty about it but for a 24 year old man in my opinion it is shameful. Rather than expecting more money from his dad he should be asking his dad to work for him and get paid. EARN IT. Even if it means being his dad's secretary. It is honorable. The only reason why he is expecting more is because it has alwaysbeen handed to him. Unfortunately his parents have stopped catering to him cold turkey and I am pretty sure it is because they can see that he is not growing up.
I expect that when I go to Nigeria that I would not run around to get certain things done. Those will be done anyway especially if I am coming with their grand kids but I go as if I will be staying in my own house. Abeg stop encouraging our OP. You want him to be the 40 year old that comes on NL complaining that his dad did not buy him a christmas shirt. You will be the one that will insult him first.

I am not missing any point, we both have different opinions to issues. If this guy was 40 and hereon NLD with this post, yes I will insult him, is it not my job again, to insult the mentally unstable? but you are definitely missing my point, I am not interested in this case, I was shocked to see people post like it is a crime for a 24 yr old to be given pocket money, or parents do not owe their kids anything else after studies, those were the lines that got to me . Outstrip, the way your parents raised you is different from the way my own parents raised me, did we both turn out well? Yes(I think). I was also raised this way and I have also seen the benefits. I left Nigeria just before I turned 16 and bless my parents for their support. I cannot imagine sending my 16 yr old abroad just to be left there to support him or herself just because he is an adult? I cannot even begin to imagine. This is my opinion and I am posting based on this guys age and if it is seen as supporting him, do I care? Nope

Outstrip my point is, not every one who was raised the way my parents me, turned out successful. Not every one raised the way your parents raised you turned out well. It is always left to the individual to tag himself successful. A 24 yr old in my opinion is not as old as some of you are making it look. I had to read this guys post to check the age properly before commenting. I am not even bothered about this OP's story, the one line that caught my eye and led to my even posting on this thread was "If your parents have paid for your fees, it is their right to hands off because they owe you nothing else", am I dreaming? someone should slap the sleep comot for my eyes please.

IMO, a 24yr old expecting handouts from his parents is just entitled . . . Rich background or not. But in this case, i blame the parents not him. You dont teach an old dog new tricks. They've pampered him all his life and now they want him to magically become self dependent. The least they owe him now is to give him some start up fund and let him be a man. Not keep him at home, give him handouts and expect him to be the perfect son!

Btw poster, if your dad is so influential why hasn't he used his 'connection' to get you a job? Are you sure you have a degree at all cos even if you studied food and nutrition you can still work, even if its in a bank.

@ UJu

Exactly, start him up on sthg and let him take it up from there, if he fails, that's his business. Don't just stop at training him because you want him to fight for himself, fight for where? In Nigeria of all places? Puhleaseeeeee


UJu di gi kwa ni?

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@ all the people abroad making authoritative statements you need to remenber that this is nigeria we are talking about.
Let me share my story with you I am 24yrs now i graduated with a 2:1 in elect elect eng at 22yrs I also had world class certs google ccna, ccnp I served nysc at 23 i finished nysc a couple months ago and i am still finding it pretty tough getting a job note this, i was one of the best brains in my class o. now my parents plan is for me to go and do a masters and a phd at a strecth. of course, if i had not shown signs of seriousness they wouldn't have agreed to continue funding me. but some of you would rather stop giving me money now cos i hold a B.Tech and i am 24yrs right? The point is this he may be 30yrs but as long as he shows signs of being focused on making the best of his life there is nothing wrong in ''going bowl in hand asking for money from his parents'' but he himself should focus on earning his parents respect that is crucial and BTW this is Nigeria.

@ poster, i will advice you to cool down, think of something good to do here in nigeria. Get a good business plan and then present to your dad. He will be more inclined to listen when he sees you doing some of the work. In the meantime, you have to live by their rules and try not to act like a spoilt brat. But please don't listen to the people asking you to steal from your dad. That will only get you into more trouble!                        @ jenny he's okay oh. Kee ka ndi be gi mere?

Ujujoan:

Btw poster, if your dad is so influential why hasn't he used his 'connection' to get  you a job? Are you sure you have a degree at all cos even if you studied food and nutrition you can still work, even if its in a bank.

Maybe you should read his post well, i think the father care less about him after finishing from school.

well he's lucky he was sent to school and completed his education, alot of us never had the opportunity to have someone send us abroad to school or around to even help us here in Nigeria.

But come to think of it, what if you had no father or your father died (God forbids), while you were yet to get into school, would you have ended your life or be worse than you're right now?

ONE ADVICE from me to you : LIVE YOUR LIFE AS IF YOU'RE AN ORPHAN, if you're lucky to

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^^^^ no your question should have been how many nigerians @24 are graduates the average age of a youth corper today is 26yrs and before the private schools started littering the country it was 28yrs? BTW I think op graduated with a pass.

Honeric I wonder why he should live like an orphan when he isn't one.

@CC

Some kids need a little push, and the fact that some parents decide to give it to them does not necessarily mean the parents are building laziness in their children. I understand where the poster Guitarlife is coming from and I am only saying this cos my brother was once in his shoes. My brother was a graduate at 21, he waka'd the whole of lagos and PH for job for where? infact the last straw that broke the camel's back was when he was called to come to PH for interview two days before the interview, my father had to travel with him just for them to get there and were told that they already got someone to fill the position, Nigerians and their stoopid way of communicating. My old man decided to send him outside Nigeria for further studies and that was the only push that young man needed. He married @ 30 and had accomplished a lot before then. Just imagine if he was left in Nigeria to continue looking for work, Only God knows how many years he would have wasted. I met some of his friends in Nigeria last year, I came back here and told my brother to go on his knees and thank God for how far he has come.

I know of a man who bought a business for his son and kept it a secret until the guy's 28th birthday, after school his dad asked him to come work for him, the dude never knew the coy was his, when the father finally told him, the dude died a million times and woke up . A lot of people would think that man acted stoopid for doing that for his son, but he alone knows what is best for his child and was not ready to gamble with his own kids life. Some Men these days are still trying to get a decent job in Nigeria, little wonder we have men in their 30's still unmarried.

Even though I come from a family that believes in settling everyone, I also have very strict parents all thanks to my mum . I am also strict with my kids and they know not to cross my path.

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stillwater:

You have no choice than to hustle. You think if my dad is rich, I'd be hustling? With the situation in Nigeria? Because I want to prove a point I will suffer. . .err no. I will use my dad to get connections, get to know his business and enjoy my life.

What a terrible piece of advice - is this what you would tell your child? You need to find some parenting classes ASAP before you create a menace to society.

First of all you have to love yourself – otherwise others cannot love you.  You have done something most people are incapable of doing and that is “being honest with yourself”.  You know your shortcomings and you owe it to yourself to change and work harder in life to achieve your own success.

Success = 1% inspiration + 99% perspiration = Hard work!

You are a grown man you need to make the transition from “dependent child” to “independent man” however even though you should be past it - you will need the support of your parents at this stage in your life:

Devise a plan that you are certain that

1. you can see through to the end successfully
2. your father will support such as continuing your education or starting a business.

Your problem is not life threatening or as dire as you think its simply a matter of re-orientation and  communication.  You have been blessed with wealthy parents so you need to see today as a new start and put your best effort into achieving something that will make all of you proud.

dayokanu:

^^ Its a privilege for a parent to be giving money to a 24yr old not a right.

If you have a parent that gives you N100 at age 24 appreaciate it cos after sendig you to school he doesnt owe you anything more

he does.
after sending you to school, the parents should then help/support to get you a job before putting their hands off. finishing school does not automatically translate to earning money. there are 40 million youths in nigeria that are jobless. what feeds them? at the age of 24, the boy needs every support his parents can give. not all nigerian graduates would get a job at the age of 24. some aren't in employment until 36 sef. . . . .

I think I will slap Jenny now. You people heard her say I should slap the sleep out of her eye I agree Jenny. There are no absolutes. there is nothing that says that one technique of raising kids will definitely lead to the perfect outcome. I don't believe that a parents dumps their children after school. That is not what I meant. Afterall what is omugo about. We will always need our parents. It just irks me when I see an adult saying "what you gave me is not enough". I still insist that it is not my right to receive money from my parents. My parents responsibility was to meet my needs. If they wanted to do extra then fine but if it was not a necessity there is no obligation to do so. They can just do it because they love me. I will not be mad if they do not. The OP should either work or ask his father for a loan to start a business. Yes A LOAN. Don't ask your dad to "dash" you anything. At the end when you succeed I am pretty sure he will not ask you to pay him back. Abeg make I commot before I get a butt whooping this morning

What more do you expect a father to do for a 24yr old son?

He sent him to school, He gave him a car, He feeds him, The OP doesnt pay rent.

I ask what more do you expect the father to do for a son?

Yet the son all he does is

also been a bit useless lately, late nights, oversleeping, not rily helpin around.

So you expect the father to do? Since we all claim the father should help him more, Maybe the father should be waking him up also in the morning or the father should be washing his clothes, cleaning up for him or whatever.

If your father was oversleeping as a youth, keeping late nights and being generally useless do you think he would be a rich man today?

Another thing his father has a right to do whatever he chooses with his money.

If you start earning money you can spend as you wish.

In general the society expects a child over 18 to take responsibility for himself. If you commit a crime as a 18yr old you serve time like an adult. You have no parental cover from prosecution. But in our society its usually til the child gets out of school.

The father paid his fees, Do you expect the father to help him read his books, attend lectures, do homeworks and submit projects too?

The guy I mentioned earlier that still steals from his mom as a 40yr old is a friends elder brother but has a similar sense of entitlement that the OP had

The man being the first born, the mom pampered him because she said "He is my first fruit and must be well catered for" The guy could barely pass in school, His mom knew all his lecturers and settled everyone of them to make the son graduate. Even his mom knew lecturers more than the Son(student). He got a 2-1.

He couldnt get a job or keep a job. His reason was that everyone hates him, The economy is too bleeped to accomodate his noble ideas etc

He was always driving round town, without a job living on his pocket money from momsie till he got into his 30's got a girl pregnant, It was the mom who organized and paid for all the wedding expense and still gives him money regularly.

Would always even at 34 say that his mom couldnt help him but the mom has money for clothes and jewelries

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