dayokanu:

What more do you expect a father to do for a 24yr old son?

He sent him to school, He gave him a car, He feeds him, The OP doesnt pay rent.

I ask what more do you expect the father to do for a son?

Yet the son all he does is

he does all that because he does not have a job - pure plain and simple.
the father is a meanie. i cannot watch my son keep late nights, oversleep and drive around town like a twunt. if he fixes him up in a bank doing 5am till 10pm, when would he have the time to be oversleeping or driving cars around?

i believe one's son is one's dignity - i can understand if the op is a girl, at least one unlucky man would marry her and the responsibility shifts.
but we are talking about a son here. his own bloodline - if the son fails, the father has failed at parenting!
there are no 2 ways about it.

[b]So you expect the father to do? [/b]Since we all claim the father should help him more, Maybe the father should be waking him up also in the morning or the father should be washing his clothes, cleaning up for him or whatever.

get him a job.
if he is too dull to fit into any job - set him up in a business.
even if it's a small kiosk where he can be selling recharge cards and phone accessories - he will wake up every morning to go and get paid.

If your father was oversleeping as a youth, keeping late nights and being generally useless do you think he would be a rich man today?

my father was not oversleeping cos he had a father that won't allow such. fathers should support their kids until they are in employment and they are bringing the bacon home. if a son fails, the father is a failure. how can i ever watch my son loaf around? i'd rather kill myself.

Another thing his father has a right to do whatever he chooses with his money.

only irresponsible fathers think this way. he doesn't have any right to do whatever he chooses with his money.
he should have gotten himself castrated 24 yrs ago - fathers who cannot raise children should leave the business of rearing children for the ones who can. most fathers fix their sons up or teach the son their trade so they can continue the business when they retire or pass away.

If you start earning money you can spend as you wish.

i will spend as i wish but my children is all i will ever leave for.
of what essence is a father who drives big cars around and his own son is wasting away? such fathers should be put against the wall and get shot.

In general the society expects a child over 18 to take responsibility for himself. If you commit a crime as a 18yr old you serve time like an adult. You have no parental cover from prosecution. But in our society its usually til the child gets out of school.

in developed countries, this is the case. in a 10th world country like nigeria, no chance, mate!
at 18, what could you do for yourself, dayo? you were still bed-hopping from one extramural class to another writing jamb or whatever external exams you were interested in. could you have taken care of yourself then?

in first world countries, kids can leave their parent's house as early as 16/17. there's social security. the government takes charge if the kid wants to be in school, wants to learn a trade or even if he decides to stay jobless. he will be on state benefit or copping food stamps. one way or the other, he can survive without his parents. don't compare that with nigeria.

The father paid his fees, Do you expect the father to help him read his books, attend lectures, do homeworks and submit projects too?

he is guilty of paying his son's fees. he has achieved the biggest task ever paying his son's fees.

The guy I mentioned earlier that still steals from his mom as a 40yr old is a friends elder brother but has a similar sense of entitlement that the OP had

okay!

The man being the first born, the mom pampered him because she said "He is my first fruit and must be well catered for" The guy could barely pass in school, His mom knew all his lecturers and settled everyone of them to make the son graduate. Even his mom knew lecturers more than the Son(student). He got a 2-1.

this is a different matter.
the boy here is a dullard and unserious - quite different from the op who seems to be determined to make something out of life.

He couldnt get a job or keep a job. His reason was that everyone hates him, The economy is too bleeped to accomodate his noble ideas etc

then the mum should set him up in a business.
ordinary viewing centre or a smart looking barbing saloon would set him for life.

He was always driving round town, without a job living on his pocket money from momsie till he got into his 30's got a girl pregnant, It was the mom who organized and paid for all the wedding expense and still gives him money regularly.

Would always even at 34 say that his mom couldnt help him but the mom has money for clothes and jewelries

i don't blame him.

parents cannot hands off just because a child has a bachelor's degree.
in my opinion, that is when the hardwork actually starts. after his degree and nysc - parents should do all they can to connect him to any good job and if such proves abortive - set him up in a business.

when that son is successful, the credits go to the parents.
if the son fails, the parents should take the blame as well.
nigerian parents are mostly lazy and they compare the hardship youths of today face to their own era when a gce o'level holder can work as a bank clerk. these days - people with masters degree cannot work in a bank.

ROTFLMAO. Coogar please stop drinking. At 34? She should even breastfeed him. After reading through your posts I have come to the conclusion that you do not believe what you are saying. So if it is a female you have readily admitted that an unlucky man would keep her and continue from where the parents stopped. Why is the man unlucky? Could it be because the parents have effectively raised a useless spoiled brat that cannot achieve anything on their own. Even if the father were to start a business for this person I can guarantee you it will fail unless the father not only starts the business but also runs the business. Do you think running a sucessful business is easier than finding a job. What in the world is this whole bloodline thing. This is why so many women in Nigeria are quietly the bread winners and a small bump in the road leaves the man useless to himself and the family. There is no mommy or daddy to bail him out and the wife has to now be the one to do it. With his false sense of entitlement he will also feel that he is entitled to be called man of the house even though all he does is drink and come back home at night. Well done sir. Up naija. I just want to point out that this is the mentality of many younger americans today. Back in the day it was not that way even in the US. That culture is also now slowly fading and it scares me.
I would like to see how it was for the likes of Adenuga and Dangote. If their parents handed them everything or if they were taught from an early age to bust their asses and had nothing handed to them. It would really be very interesting to know this. This world is tough and you have to prepare your children for it. No matter how hard you meet every single one of their financial and material needs you will never be able to be there for them all the time. What happens in those moments were you cannot bail them out. You are right in one instance. I blame the mother of that 40 year old fool. She created that monster so let him keep stealing from her. When he has stolen everything he will then move to 419 and when he ends up in jail she will sell her wrapper to bail him out because afterall she is a mother and her job is never done

Yes oo the father should get him a job, The father should even do the job for him. The same father who paid his fees and he still didnt do well in school

After the father sent him to school , Paid his fees, Sent him abroad, Sheltered him till 24yrs, Feeds him daily till 24, Gives him pocket money.

Less than 10% of 24yr olds in Nigeria get the benefits this guy have. Yet the father should do more for him like he is diabled?

What else should the father do? Pack his shit when he goes to the toilet? Teach him how to wear condoms? Tie a rope to his waist to stop him from keeping late nights? or buy an alarm for him to wake him up early?

If his father was waiting for someone to babysit him at age 24 I doubt he would be a rich man

Outstrip:

ROTFLMAO. Coogar please stop drinking.

it's eid-el-fitri - don't be too harsh!.

At 34? She should even breastfeed him. After reading through your posts I have come to the conclusion that you do not believe what you are saying. So if it is a female you have readily admitted that an unlucky man would keep her and continue from where the parents stopped. Why is the man unlucky? Could it be because the parents have effectively raised a useless spoiled brat that cannot achieve anything on their own.

unlucky cos the husband is now inheriting the responsibility of the parents - who should have fixed the daughter up with a job or a business.

Even if the father were to start a business for this person I can guarantee you it will fail unless the father not only starts the business but also runs the business. Do you think running a sucessful business is easier than finding a job.

which example are we highlighting here? the original poster or the ludicrous example dayo is feeding us with?

What in the world is this whole bloodline thing.

bloodline - the heir.
the son that will carry the last name on and pass it to his own kids and so on and forth.
it is what i live for.

This is why so many women in Nigeria are quietly the bread winners and a small bump in the road leaves the man useless to himself and the family. There is no mommy or daddy to bail him out and the wife has to now be the one to do it. With his false sense of entitlement he will also feel that he is entitled to be called man of the house even though all he does is drink and come back home at night. Well done sir. Up naija. I just want to point out that this is the mentality of many younger americans today. Back in the day it was not that way even in the US. That culture is also now slowly fading and it scares me.

don't over-exaggerate.
being the bloodline is even tough. most parents i know go tough on the sons cos they know how important the son understands he cannot fail in life. they are well-trained, well-tutored and quickly set up in business if his academics are mehhhh. why should any parent especially from a sick state like nigeria remove their hands in their son's life and watch him rot? it's gross irresponsibility.

I would like to see how it was for the likes of Adenuga and Dangote. If their parents handed them everything or if they were taught from an early age to bust their asses and had nothing handed to them. It would really be very interesting to know this. This world is tough and you have to prepare your children for it.

where is paddy adenuga working today? he works for his father.
i am sure dangote's son would take over from him one day. look at the politicians in nigeria - they do what they can to give their children the best.
the ones who aren't really bright in school have been connected to several political godfathers and they are gradually finding their steps. that is the way to raise children.

don't get me wrong - i can understand when the parents don't have such resources. in cases like this, then the son must man up and sort himself.
but the op's father is well to do. he has the money and the resources and yet he is folding his arms. the annoying thing about some nigerian parents
is when this boy runs into trouble for one vice or another, this man won't hesitate to pay 5 million naira bail or give bribe to the police. if he had invested such amount in the life of his son from the onset, would the boy be in trouble? some naija parents need orientation.

No matter how hard you meet every single one of their financial and material needs you will never be able to be there for them all the time. What happens in those moments were you cannot bail them out.

my children are my world. they represent me wherever they go. that is the way i would like to see them when i have my kids.
nothing can happen to them. this is why i am working my arse off everyday to give them the best things in life. until i am sure i can cater for them, i am not ready.

You are right in one instance. I blame the mother of that 40 year old fool. She created that monster so let him keep stealing from her. When he has stolen everything he will then move to 419 and when he ends up in jail she will sell her wrapper to bail him out because afterall she is a mother and her job is never done

let her invest that bail money now to sort his son out. sooner than later, a man with no job would clash with the law.
this is when you see naija parents active. running from pillar to post so their son won't go to prison. if they had used half of that effort to sort him out, there wouldn't be any need for police trouble. if i were to become a president in nigeria. i will lock up the parents of any criminal under the age of 30. if the parents are well to do, they get double punishment.

dayokanu:

Yes oo the father should get him a job, The father should even do the job for him. The same father who paid his fees and he still didnt do well in school

everybody will not make their money via academics. if the child is not bright in school, let him learn a trade.
this is why the developed countries are far better. they don't worship certificates like we do in nigeria.

After the father sent him to school , Paid his fees, Sent him abroad, Sheltered him till 24yrs, Feeds him daily till 24, Gives him pocket money.

if everything fails, he should keep trying. there's no bus-stop in setting one's child up.
until that child makes it in life, the parents must not rest!

Less than 10% of 24yr olds in Nigeria get the benefits this guy have. Yet the father should do more for him like he is diabled?

that is irrelevant.
if the boy's parents are not in the position to help, the boy wouldn't feel so depressed.
the man can certainly help but he prefers splashing on the okpekes in unilag and yabatech.  the man is lucky i am not his son.
i would have made him pay through his nose.

What else should the father do? Pack his poo when he goes to the toilet? Teach him how to wear condoms? Tie a rope to his waist to stop him from keeping late nights? or buy an alarm for him to wake him up early?

fix him up with a job
fix him up with a business
find a way for the boy to be earning monthly income.

If his father was waiting for someone to babysit him at age 24 I doubt he would be a rich man

the more reason why he should fix his son.
if i struggled to make it in life - i would never pray for my children to go through the same.
my sweats and tears have paid the dues already - i go suffer, my children go come suffer again?

mike adenuga should have sent his kids to america to be driving yellow cabs in new york like he once did.
kola abiola should have been sent to abeokuta to be selling newspapers like mko abiola once did.
any father who sits his arse down and watches his son rot is a failure!

coogar:

if i were to become a president in nigeria. i will lock up the parents of any criminal under the age of 30. if the parents are well to do, they get double punishment.

Is 30yrs not too young? WHy not 45yrs

If this man is spending millions on his concubines, why can't he ''waste'' that money on his son. This boy needs a push, some people fall into that category, push him and if he fails, that wan consign him.

people have faced tough life and it worked for them, others have not and it worked for them also. It is not everyone's destiny to suffer, I was in church recently and there was something this pastor said that made sense to me, he said destinies differ, some people suffer and struggle before the can get one kobo, they have to work hours and hard to earn that kobo, whilst others only have to think about it  and work for a few hours and they have it already. Some people finish high school and struggle with Jamb for years to get into the uni, others only have to sit for it once and gbammm they have good results in their hands.

What am I saying? As parents we don't just stop after the uni. Some children need that push to become successful others don't but will I ever gamble with my childs life and future just because I am trying to teach that person a lesson? Nope

dayokanu:

Is 30yrs not too young? WHy not 45yrs

30 yrs because of the epileptic state the past leaders have left mother nigeria.

not every nigerian youth has the opportunity to attend a private university.
an average nigerian youth graduates at the age of 27-29(including nysc wahala)
so 30 is about right.

jennykadry:

If this man is spending millions on his concubines, why can't he ''waste'' that money on his son. This boy needs a push, some people fall in that category, push him and if he fails, that wan consign him.

you make sense, my dear!
this man has spent fortunes for concubines. he has probably bought cars, houses or other nonsense for babes because of a piece of arse!

I expect that Mike Adenuga's children will also have that sense of entitlement. I don't know much about those families but would be interested on the background of Mike Adenuga himself. I see no problem with giving your child the best education your money can buy. You are helping them lay a foundation for life. A good strong solid foundation.  LOL Coogar I was being funny but I am truly feeling like this is twilight zone. See me swaeting over a 24 year old asking for money and you are even saying that even at 40. 40 ke. LOL

Outstrip:

I expect that Mike Adenuga's children will also have that sense of entitlement. I don't know much about those families but would be interested on the background of Mike Adenuga himself. I see no problem with giving your child the best education your money can buy. You are helping them lay a foundation for life. A good strong solid foundation.  LOL Coogar I was being funny but I am truly feeling like this is twilight zone. See me swaeting over a 24 year old asking for money and you are even saying that even at 40. 40 ke. LOL

mike adenuga was once a cab driver in new york.
i am sure you have used his cab before - spat on him for wasting your time or you slapped him for talking too much.

he has paid his dues.
God willing, he will never allow his children or the 3 generations after them to go through what he's been through in life.

3 generations ke? Adenuga has covered any form of poverty his 15th generation will ever face.

jennykadry:

3 generations ke? Adenuga has covered any form of poverty his 15th generation will ever face.

let's hope he doesn't have a grandson like mike tyson.

Jk.

The man has sent this child to school- WHen some cant even get anyone to look at them for school fees,
He has given him a car- When his mates are trekking all over to find a living,
Sent him abroad- When some are trekking through Sahara desert to get to Libya,
He houses him - While some of his mates are already paying rents, feeds him, gives him pocket money- when his agemates are already fending for kids and even aged parents.

Yet this son would rather keep late night, wake up late and not make himself useful at home because his father hasnt gotten him a job.

dayokanu:

Jk.
The man has sent this child to school- WHen some cant even get anyone to look at them for school fees,

sent him to school and he didn't pay attention to the boy's discipline.
people with engineering degrees are struggling to nail jobs. a father allowed his son to read yoruba engineering and he expects a miracle?

He has given him a car- When his mates are trekking all over to find a living,

he hasn't given him a car. he drives the man's car and mostly would be on errands.
nigerians know how to use people even their own children. go and buy fuel, go and fetch water, go and buy gas cylinders.
let the man employ his son as the driver na.

Sent him abroad- When some are trekking through Sahara desert to get to Libya,

sent abroad to do what?

He houses him - While some of his mates are already paying rents, feeds him, gives him pocket money- when his agemates are already fending for kids and even aged parents.

where was dayo at 24? paying your own rent? in nigeria?
na yam?

Yet this son would rather keep late night, wake up late and not make himself useful at home because his father hasnt gotten him a job.

if he had a job, he wouldn't be keeping late nights.
this fact evades you.

So Mike Adenuga actually did menial work in the past. Oh Lawd. Poor man. he had to actually work No wonder he understands the value of N1. The person who says what they are taking is not enough does nto understand what it takes to make N1 so why will be not ask for more. Not suprised at all to learn that things were not handed to him

So agree with posters saying the OP needs to stop being a baby and fend for himself. You are 24 years and not 24 months. One thing every child has to be taught from a very early age is to be responsibile. An irresponsibile human being is as good as an animal. This young man here has been probably spoonfed all his life, so expected it to continue the rest of his life and had a rude awakening.

If dad has money, good for him. He took care of you when he had to. If daddy were to find you a job, a wife etc, what good is the degree you have ?You could've saved all the time you wasted in securing a degree and used daddy's money to start some business much earlier.

Start with whatever job you can find. You can drive, so why not become a driver and make some money (good companies pay 60-70k) while you keep trying for jobs? I r'ber meeting a driver who was an Electronics Engineer ! The guy had the guts to do this job instead of weeping over the fact that he couldn't find a job befitting his qualification. Now that is what I call a brave human being. I'm sure his parents would have been proud of this boy. Stop waiting for the chicken changes daddy throws at you and start to fend for yourself and become a self respecting human being. Success will follow.

Outstrip:

Stillwater I disagree with you. I know many people of means that were born into money that had a choice but decided to do without mommy or daddy's help. So maybe dayo had to but just because a persons parent has does not mean that they should not even attempt to try on their own. Once someone forms that mentality that there is someone to bail them out if things get rough they will never try their hardest

Noo don't get me wrong. Not saying they shouldn't venture into something of their own. By the way, at the back of the minds of those people born in money, they know that if everything fails, there's daddy's money to fall back on. I won't even bother to call theirs hustling. . .sorry. But I give them kudos.
Again if I'm in that situation, I will not hustle. Just get my degree, use my dad to get a job, and do the same for my kids.

@OP

You need to pick yourself up. I think your problem is laziness need but your can overcome it by pushing yourself. You need to push yourself.

If your degree is not working out for you in Nigeria, you need to find something else that interests you that can make you some money. Get yourself TOTALLY involved in it. Do not wait for anybody to help you, no matter how small it is. With dedication and hardwork, it can grow. I think you father needs to see you work hard for something.

The father is mean. Parenting is a life long thing.
We have them all around, useless men who abandon their families and spend outside.

@OP
Show some self worth and do some work at home.
Show self pride and stop driving your dads car. Respect is commanded, you don't demand it.

Someday, you will have your own money and your own kids.
For now do the right thing since your father don't wanna help out. . .stoop to conquer.

The poster should just grow-up, get a job for yourself and earn your own money. What if you had lost your dad long ago (God forbid), won't you fend for your family? won't you take care of your siblings and your mum. ?

He is not an orphan? His father isnot dead, his father is well and alive.can you people please stop giving these un necessary excuses? Sommeone told him to live like an orphan,seriously?live like an orphan when you have a father?. As long as his father is alive, he has to step up and take care of his 24 year old son.


@DAYO
Only an irresponsible father will use that line of" I can spend my money whichever way I want to.even as a mother, I can never make such a statement, the min you bring a child into this world that statement takes the back seat. Its no longer all about you, it's all about them. Get over it

jennykadry:

He is not an orphan? His father isnot dead, his father is well and alive.can you people please stop giving these un necessary excuses? Sommeone told him to live like an orphan,seriously?live like an orphan when you have a father?. As long as his father is alive, he has to step up and take care of his 24 year old son.


@DAYO
Only an irresponsible father will use that line of" I can spend my money whichever way I want to.even as a mother, I can never make such a statement, the min you bring a child into this world that statement takes the back seat. Its no longer all about you, it's all about them. Get over it

my old man used that phrase on me years ago o, then he was telling me I was developing habits that would be difficult to sustain on my own. . .

My story is similar DK's own(esp the not getting any money after NYSC bit), there's nothing like knowing that you're standing on your own feet/merit, it's a feeling I'd want my children to have.

I think we should teach our kids to be independent and if life throws curve balls, we should be there to help them face the situations if it's beyond them, The OP is having issues because he hasn't learnt to be independent, not because his dad is wicked. I've battled emotions such as he is facing but thankfully, I was able to overcome them and I can tell you, knowing that your dad didn't make any phone calls or talk to anyone to get you a job is one of the best feelings a young man can have.

jennykadry:

He is not an orphan? His father isnot dead, his father is well and alive.can you people please stop giving these un necessary excuses? Sommeone told him to live like an orphan,seriously?live like an orphan when you have a father?. As long as his father is alive, he has to step up and take care of his 24 year old son.


@DAYO
Only an irresponsible father will use that line of" I can spend my money whichever way I want to.even as a mother, I can never make such a statement, the min you bring a child into this world that statement takes the back seat. Its no longer all about you, it's all about them. Get over it

Irresponsibilty is a personal thing

Some would argue that sending a child to Boarding school is irresponsible,

Some would say allowing a teenager to go to a foreign country for studies on his/her own is irresponsible

Some would even argue that sending 19-20yr olds to war is irresponsible. But the fact is the father has a right to spend the money the way he likes

JK,

You have been earning money for a while, Dont you think its irresponsible for you to buy a BMW X6 while you have homeless people around you? I am sure you have family members(including extended) who are struggling to get by yet you went and bought a Range Rover, a 300k Pounds House, $2000 Luois Vuitton, $2000 Michael Kors.

I bet its Irresponsible

You don't have to involve my family members it's none of your business what happens in the family

second off, my family members are doing ok, thanks to their wonderful parents who saw it necessary to see their kids through.

Third off, you don't know what I do with my money, so don't jump into conclusions. 30 percent of my income fortnightly goes to where you do not need to know about, 20 is spent on my kids and the other lot goes to my own person. If I decide to buy  a $2000 Louis vuitton bag and my husband doesn't mind, then it is nobody's business. I deserve to be taken care off too andincome wanna use my income to make that happen,what's ya problem?

At least as a mother I still remember to take care of my kids before I think about myself, its's my money right? And I can do whatever I like with it? Then I find it a huge investment spending on my kids, I brought them into this world and it is my duty to take care of them and see that they are all settled, if they are not settled I am not.

This is Nigeria not some developed country for goodness sake.

Why are people comparing things relatively while fully aware everybody's case is different, (i.e some saying those that are orphans are getting by, God kept his father alive for a reason; 

Or those equating him to themselves i.e they stopped receiving/asking for money at NYSC stage, how so?
Answer - must be because you found a glimmer of hope on how to survive and having been in Naija throughout, know your way around while maybe already having some spare change to hang on to while waiting or it might be that your parents/sponsors were struggling hence no option.----All this does not apply to the OP, his father is blessed with riches and for a purpose which doesn't include exclusively, only himself as he chose to bring people into his life & this world - family.

As a parent you're responsible for your kids till they are able to fend for themselves and in this case I don't think it is yet so.
@Dayo- what is the privilege in sending him abroad at such a young age with no real plans for him and then washing your hands off. Puhlease! You spend all the money on education (as a rich man) and allow him to come back to Nigeria of all places after all those years with no plans/support!! Been sent to a new country and having to face a new culture and no protection/guidance etc is tough enough for an adult not to talk of a 16yr old more susceptible to influences?
Why didn't the Dad advice him to find a way to stay put where he was or move to another place where opportunities are as he(Dad) knows he is not willing to give him the support and guidance he needs to start up again in Nigeria?

I believe the most important duty for a parent is GUIDANCE and ADVICE

Not to write an epistle-----   Do you start a business, after investing years of planning/money etc and then quit prior to making any revenue? That is the case and what some are advocating on here.

Finish the investment you have started and done as a father by making sure you tried hard(advice, capital, connections etc) to make your investment start receiving some revenue then surely sooner or later it will yield dividends for you (we all hope to get old and I bet it won't be your business partners/friends/concubines that will be there for you, nothing like an empowered family anyday for me).

@ OP
Go out of your way to please them, wake up early in the morning, wash the cars, sweep, organize etc. Ask Dad if he needs help to get anything done. Just be doing good stuffs in the house and wait. In a month or two, approach your Dad and ask him for advice on how to make it here in Nigeria as there are hardly no jobs and difficult to secure one, hence you will appreciate it if he can PLEASE help you.

@OP: why change yourself and your behavior towards life and your future ? Describing yourself as lazy, stubborn, and irresponsible shows that you are the problem not your parents.

^^^ i guess thats what his parents have been telling him about himself.

No one determines your future except for you. Use your parents to get to the next level. Does your father have business contacts that you can use ? How about doing some chores and having your parents pay you? You have got to be wise in this day and age.

obowunmi:

No one determines your future except for you. Use your parents to get to the next level. Does your father have business contacts that you can use ? How about doing some chores and having your parents pay you? You have got to be wise in this day and age.

Huh? Did you really mean that (in bold)? You only see that kind of stuff in those "Success" books.

Most futures are shaped by parents/environment/circumstances surrounding or arising. The determination to succeed helps you to break free or fight against the circumstances you are in but still you need that "lucky break" and or a nudge/support from (either parents/relatives/friends or even a stranger).

Though (as I pointed out in my earlier post) there are things the OP has to improve on (which he himself even highlighted & acknowledged). Please, don't go knocking someone that is already down further so, a little bit of hope keeps us moving.

@OP - just be proactive and tactful in enlisting the help of your parents (in my prior post) as they are already placed in a better position to make any hardwork or the plans/ideas you possess to work (than going alone/relying on friends). You just have to win them over.

Just ready your story and i was in your situation 5 years ago after graduation from Ghana( was only 21)and expecting everything to be given to me on a platter of Gold by my supposedly 'rich father' only to find out i was sleeping on Okada mehn i woke up from my dreams and buckled up my belt. i was also jobless but i took a different path i left my parents immediately went back to Ghana and started 'hustling'. I sold everything possible(clothes,shoes,electronics,mobile phones,tickets,visas and even water at a point yes water) before i found the right job and business for me. Today i am a multimillionaire and a C.E.O. But from your write up i see you still have so much pride in you thinking like a rich mans child (ajebuta) and not ready to buckle your belt so i would give you the following advice.

Why is a jobless graduate sleeping for so long (how do you manage to sleep so long  not knowing if you would be able to afford a bottle of wine
the next day, damn i love my wine.

      You need to start developing yourself.
1)Enroll in a professional course (Acca,Niit,project management etc) anything that will add to your degree. Sleeping gives you a sense of frustration wake up and do something. Read more,learn more there are tons of ways to make money online legitimately even if only a few dollars a week.

2)Be humble, Nobody knows it all.Your father is only showing you TOUGH LOVE which you will understand later(i do not support that though). Start helping out
in the house,reduce the late night outs and concentrate on developing yourself. (Respect is earned). You have to earn your respect from the parents as it is evident that you have lost it from them.

3)Ask your Dad how you can be of help. A Man is supposed to work for his money always. Ask him and your mum which work you can be of help with. ANY type of work and earn your pay that way you are respected. If your father is well to do i bet he has a business where you could help with even if it means 'lazying' around you just gotta be busy.

4)Keep applying for jobs while you are developing other skills. its a tough world out there now nothing is guaranteed my brother.

5)Obey and respect your parents.Yes you are still in there house so you have to obey them. This strong head wont lead you no where believe me. Earn back their love and respect. Talk to your father one on one let him know despite the fact that you are jobless at the moment you intend to do something with your life and not just sleeping and drinking out with friends.

6) From your write up your father will only give you money for two things  i)School(books,etc) ii) A small business. Think of a viable plan that can give you a little income by the side. I am sure if you have a good business idea your Father might be willing  to help. Not a big business to start with  never just something small to keep you going first.

  So much to write but i do feel your pain i was there. Never ever say you are useless. A privileged 24 year old graduate
respected by his peers and you say you are useless. Damn no. have a positive outlook to life,be a little more humble,loving
and earn your respect. I wish you the very best my brother.

24, studied abroad all expenses paid . . . and you're still gripping? Yeah you are truly useless like you said.
Your father is free to rent houses for his concubines, it is his money. Why arent you out there earning your keep?