JeSoul:

Why would a husband & father merely stand to the side and watch as his wife and kids labor & slug around luggages? He probably does not think anything of it is my guess.

Once I was slugging some heavy luggage from an apartment building to the car for a sick friend who was travelling. As I brought out luggage after luggage stacking into the car, there were 3 african men standing beside a car nearby just chatting and laughing and looking at me as I kept going in & out. On the 3rd luggage, a postal truck pulls up, the worker gets out to drop off the packages. As soon as he saw me he walks right over and offers to give me a hand with the bags and he helps me with the rest.

  I honestly think a lot of (obviously not all) men of african descent just do not think much about things like these . . . at least from what I've seen.

I will not lie to you.

I will be blunt and honest.

If I saw a Nigerian girl in such a situation, that I don't know and I have never interacted with and she is not obviously older (married with kids etc), I will not go out of my way to help. I will walk past.

If it is some Indian girl, I will do the same.

If it is a white or other Non-West African girl, I would help. I would do it, smile at her thank yous, say "my pleasure" and walk away.

I am not by any means ashamed or bothered to say that. In terms of some type of girls (mainly Naija), chivalry is really dead on my side. It was beheaded in cold blood and dumbed in the river. And rightly so!

The manners and qualities of Naija girls does not merit any Chivalry. Anyone not happy with the statement can go and by that rope and tell them to put it on my credit tab.

Let me give you just some few examples why I am happy for Chivalry to be dead with most Naija girls:

I have a friend that lives on the same street with a Naija girl. He sees her virtually every morning and they get on the same bus and then tube/train.

Guess what? Guess the worst bit of it all.

They are going to the same destination (as in, the SAME building). When he told me, I said, "how come you guys don't say hi". He said, anytime he looks her way, she just looks away and like if he does not exist, so he respects himself and does not disturb her or invade her privacy. So when she walks past him in the area, he walks past her quietly.


Another one:

I went to an event with 2 of my friends a few months back. These my friends STRICTLY do not date black girls (especially Naija girls), the worst I have seen of them in the last 7 years is probably mixed race. And I am talking of 1 occassion only (Half Scottish, Half Kenyan).

When we got to the event, where we sat, to be friendly, we greeted people and started mixing up. Where we sat, there were 2 Naija girls there and, incidentally, we started just general chat with them as it was a kiddies party and there were few adults. It was strictly platonic chats, no making moves, just adults having a conversation about anything and everything. The Naija girls were friendly and we got along as we were laughing at some of the things and happenings at the party and there was no friction as it was obvious we were not trying to toast. When we went to get food an drinks, we asked them what they wanted and we brought it for them.

After about 3 hours, I saw these girls saying goodbye to the people organising the party and getting in their car and going home. They never even bothered to say goodbye or anything to us. These are adults (in their 20s) we were chatting like friends we have known for years with for about 3 hours and laughing at everything?

My friends just started laughing in shock and reminded me what they have been telling me about Nigerian girls for years.

Most are absolutely classless girls.

These are just examples. I see shytloads of bad behaviours from Naija girls that will fill Seun's bandwidth if we start getting into it. I try and take every girl as an individual, but it is rare for a Nigerian girl to not disappoint in manners. ABSOLUTELY RARE! We have a generation of mostly useless girls.

Are those the kind of people I would be wasting my chivalry on? Hell no.

I don't get it. They did not say bye to you so they are classless? Maybe I did not understand what you wrote

maclatunji:

Your wife is the real deal, not some fleeting distraction. So, if you cannot show her love once in a while in public you should check yourself!

By the way @RonkeBP: doth ye speaketh from experience? @Sisi_Kill, reading your post just reminds me of some aburos (younger friends) I have. They are already taking-up d nasty habit of being haughty without being close to getting married. The thing is: you women too should stop rewarding guys who behave like jerks and then you start complaining when they start behaving like they always have. That is why I was close to agreement with dayokanu's first comment on this thread.

No oooo, God forbid. Just a general thing, because i know how Naija men, love young girls that are not their wives, they can take them to anywhere, beer parlour, beach, eatery, shopping, but not their wives. The young girls can slap them around and insult them, but their wives can't. You will hear a 22 year old girl asking a 50 years old man '' Bayo, se ori e kpe sha!!!'' let it be the wife now!!! yahwah go kon gas!.

Outstrip:

I don't get it. They did not say bye to you so they are classless? Maybe I did not understand what you wrote

That is what am also thinking about, they are classless because they did not say bye''? o gaa ju. what do you guys expect from them, when the same goes to some guys, that do not know how to treat ladies, there is no warmth/ sincere heat emanating from them, they behave like hooligans. The babes themselves, do not want to roll with Naija men/guys, because of their attitudes, so it is a two way thing.

Lol@ Sisikill's story. Says it all. I remember being at a naija wedding and my husband noticed this and asked me if it was a common thing. I really don't understand standing to the side and watching the women doing all the work - and that's supposed to be manly?

@Outstrip, not suprised at all by your story. It just isn't something nigerians put value on.

@Sagamite, I believe your position is a cop out sir. If others are operating on level 1, it shouldn't hinder you from operating on level 10. Some women may not be worthy of being treated with respect - but I come from a school of thought that encourages to do so anyways especially when its a stranger, and you never know who you might help and what it might lead to. Its always best to approach everyone equally, until they prove themselves not worthy of your time or respect.

@RonkeBP, the thing tire me O. Girls go dey call their papa mate in the most derisive of tones and the guy go dey smile like mumu. Sagamite you dey fall my hand with these your posts. Okay, so you like white women- that don't mean you should bash our nubian sisters with these ridiculous examples.

maclatunji:

@RonkeBP, the thing tire me O. Girls go dey call their papa mate in the most derisive of tones and the guy go dey smile like mumu. Sagamite you dey fall my hand with these your posts. Okay, so you like white women- that don't mean you should bash our nubian sisters with these ridiculous examples.

I am not bashing, I am stating the facts. And if the facts are painful, then they are painful.

If you know me well, then you will know all that "nubian" pokolo no matter to me. I don't do nationalism, ethnicism or nubianism. I say it as it is. I am not Siena. I am Sagamite. I prefer objectivity to being liked.

ronkebp:

That is what am also thinking about, they are classless because they did not say bye''? o gaa ju. what do you guys expect from them, when the same goes to some guys, that do not know how to treat ladies, there is no warmth/ sincere heat emanating from them, they behave like hooligans. The babes themselves, do not want to roll with Naija men/guys, because of their attitudes, so it is a two way thing.

So you see nothing wrong with being at an event with few people and you chat with some people specifically for 3 hours and then you just get up and leave? You see nothing wrong with that? You see nothing wrong with notifying that you are going, you just disappear? You don't see any issues with courtesy with that?

But you think something is wrong a stranger does not come and carry your load for you? Why? "Because you are worth it"?

AHH! Ronke . . . . . .Ronke . . . . .Ronke, ma lo L'Oreal make-up moooor. Try Avon, Estee Lauder ati Lancome.  (Ronke, no use L'Oreal make-up anymore. Try Avon, Estee Lauder and Lancome)

JeSoul:

@Sagamite, I believe your position is a cop out sir. If others are operating on level 1, it shouldn't hinder you from operating on level 10. Some women may not be worthy of being treated with respect - but I come from a school of thought that encourages to do so anyways especially when its a stranger, and you never know who you might help and what it might lead to. Its always best to approach everyone equally, until they prove themselves not worthy of your time or respect.

I will continue Olopaing out.

I deal with people at the level they deserve to be dealt at. Look at me on NL, the rude girls, I deal with rudely. The nice girls, I am sweet to.

Most Naija girls are rude and not nice. I try to convince myself it is not the case, but experience tells me to shut up and accept.

I used to be the one defending them when my friends started saying it back in the day. I really can't dare doing such now. They were right, I was wrong. My humble pie is huge.

West African and Jamo girls? . . . . . .Pity!

I will not be surprised if some Naija girl comes along and cages you with all this your e-bravado! You do not know how shallow you come across as being right now!

maclatunji:

I will not be surprised if some Naija girl comes along and cages you with all this your e-bravado! You do not know how shallow you come across as being right now!

How do I come across as shallow?

Explain to me, maybe I can learn.

/

Sagaman i could not help but laugh. you are so funny, i use ''bare escentuals''.

maclatunji:

I will not be surprised if some Naija girl comes along and cages you with all this your e-bravado! You do not know how shallow you come across as being right now!

Abiiii?? lol, that is usually the case with guys, like sagamon!!!!

ronkebp:

Sagaman i could not help but laugh. you are so funny, i use ''bare escentuals''.

Go to Google now and make sure the parent company is not L'Oreal.

chaircover:

hmmmmmmmmm

saga our elders say that bi a ba diju ki eni buruku koja titi ti eni rere ma fi koja a ko ni mo. (if we close our eyes so we avoid seeing evil people, we will miss meeting good people in the process)

OK you have met a few rude Naija girls but are all Naija girls like that? I'd say a big NO.

I also want to say that sometimes people's shyness can be misread as rudeness or being a snob. The girls probably not saying goodbye was because they felt that maybe you would have misred the situation and thought that they wanted to move the relationship forward. It could also be that they were shy. Who knows. I certainly wouldnt take it personal.

I'd say help people if you can. Who knows,  one day someone who doesnt know you from Adam may help you too  

Read my posts very well. I never said all. I said most.

I am telling you, we have a CRISIS in regards to the behaviour of most Naija girls. Our elders call is KIRIRICEE! Utter crisis.

At least, you, can see the problem with basic courtesy in that respect.

You think I will ever com across those girls and they will say "Hi" and I would greet them warmly?

You having a laugh? I would politely say I don't remember them and just excuse myself graciously after they grample for a while to remind me.

Yes, people can be shy but I wonder why rudeness, classlessness and uppity are mostly with Naija girls. I meet girls of other nations - South Africa, Zimbabwe, Kenya, Uganda, Zambia, Somalia, Ethiopia, Tanzania etc and these issues RARELY ever occurs. They are polite and friendly even if they do not have the slightest interest in a guy. And believe me, if they do have interest in a man, it will not be a case of (like Naija girls) 100% his responsibility to make a relationship happen. It will be something like 70:30. While Naija girls will sit and say, "he should wash my yansh before I know he likes me".

There are nice Naija girls, but the volumes of shythead Naija girls are spoiling it for them. Why will a man bother to go and associate with a group A where the odds of good personality is low when he can put all his effort in Group B where the odds of good personality is tremendous?

Our elders will say: o de le koyin si buruku ko wo waju si rere. (You can back the evil people not to see them, and face the good people so you can see them) 

We have a serious crisis in terms of Naija girls' behaviour.

@Sagamite, Chaircover has addressed the issue of the girls at the party. They may not have wanted to be in the situation of exchanging contact details with you. As for your friend and the girl in the train, I will tell you what I might have done (depending on my mood). I would have walked up to her (if I really fancy her) and told her-  We both know we will see each other almost everyday, the least we can do is break the awkward silence between us. I am telling you, no matter how rude she wants to be, she will sooner or later talk to you in a friendly way.  

If you had told us that your ex-Naija babe ran away with your houseboy with half of your wealth a week before your wedding then I might empathize and understand all that you typed about Nigerian women. Instead, you have very poor examples to show. My advice to you is to get better and not bitter!

It is mostly based on ignorance.

maclatunji:

@Sagamite, Chaircover has addressed the issue of the girls at the party. They may not have wanted to be in the situation of exchanging contact details with you. As for your friend and the girl in the train, I will tell you what I might have done (depending on my mood). I would have walked up to her (if I really fancy her) and told her-  We both know we will see each other almost everyday, the least we can do is break the awkward silence between us. I am telling you, no matter how rude she wants to be, she will sooner or later talk to you in a friendly way.  

If you had told us that your ex-Naija babe ran away with your houseboy with half of your wealth a week before your wedding then I might empathize and understand all that you typed about Nigerian women. Instead, you have very poor examples to show. My advice to you is to get better and not bitter!

So because of because, she is entitled to lack courtesy and it is acceptable?

But you think as a man, I am suppose to bow and smile at every opportunity to the same women's whims before I become "a real man"?

As for my friend, I support his attitude. If I look your way once or twice to see opportunity of showing we recognise our similar backgrounds but you choose to look away like if you do not want to be bothered, I will respect myself and not bother you.

It men like you with your silly acceptance of rubbish that is feulling the poorly behaved women we are seeing in our community. Any excuse is acceptable and all praise should be hipped on women irrespective of worthiness o justification all because of your lame desire to get their affirmation.

Maybe you should wonder why when the same Nigerian women cross over 30 and are not married, they are friendlier generally and behave like sane people. All of a sudden, they know what polite is and how to relate reasonably.

Stop giving me dense excuses. It is best Naija girls learn how to be respectful and ladylike.

Another case. This one Jamo.

I was on Old Kent Road with a friend and he said he was hungry and wanted to eat Carribean food. I am not too familiar with Old Kent Road but felt there should at least be one Carribean restaurant on the busy stretch of the road, so we walked one way and did not find anything. We started walking the other way and I saw a Jamo girl (with a Jamo T-shirt) on the way. And I asked politely "Excuse me, please do you know if their is a Carribean restuarant furtherdown this road".

She looked at me up and down with cold eyes and said nothing.

Me and my friend were plainly shocked. We looked at each other and he started laughing because he has been telling me about black girls since. He is one of the guys I went to the event I said earlier.

I turned to the girl and said: "Are you silly?". She looked at me in shock and wanted to say something. I said gently "Shut up! All I asked you was a simple question about directions. You thought I was trying to chat you up? You think you are in my class? You think that is grounds for you to be rude? Ghetto ediot!"

My friend was just bawling laughing because he knew how pissed I was and he knew she would get it with her rudeness. We just walked away while she was standing there dazed and embarassed as she was not expecting that.

When we found nothing and were turning around, she was coming back and saw us at the moment we were looking at the shop signs. So it was obvious to her, we were really looking for a restaurant. I just looked at her and made a resigned gesture with my mouth and shook my head a bit and walked past her.

Sagamna even with your description of what transpired you are the one that sounded rude and classless. Why would you ask another human being if they were silly because you asked them a question and they ignored you. Maybe she ignored you because she could smell your arrogance before you even got there.

This Sagamite of a guy lol.

Oga your stories are well heard. I can equally narrate experiences of terrible behavior by african men towards women. As a culture we are rude to people - and it goes for both genders. I think all Maclatunji is simply saying is to be the better & bigger person.

I know. If I asked someone a questiona and they treat me like I am the gum under their shoe I keep walking. It's not like she even called you a name and even if she did why will I lose my dignity because someone else is having a day. Sagaman just wants to be angry. Some Nigerian woman must have really done something to him

The women and men will not tell themselves the truth.Even those that claim to be Christians will not obey the simple instruction given to a man and a women that are married to each other because of pride,selfwill and lust. If married men and women can conveniently obey the instructions given to them by God in the Holy Bible, you will discover that marriage is the best thing that can happen to you.

You  as an individual change your attitude, character, perception to life in marriage according to Gods instruction in the Bible and Ignore all the mordern day pride, arrogance and lust.

If you Make yourself the right woman or man inline with the word of God then you are right on track.

The same Holy Bible will instruct you on the type of man or woman you must marry or not marry.So, don't add sentiments and lust, else you will marry the wrong person after you have made yourself the right person.Don't forget that one attitude or character leads to the other, just as I was told when I was small- a child that lies will steal.
For example, a person that is not teachable cannot have a change of attitude.Also, you cannot lead someone that believes he or she knows more than you do.You can easily know the heart of a person towards you in his or her unconscious attitude towards you. etc. These are simple principles people violate that leads them to marring the wrong person.


Stay Blessed!

Sagamite, personality wise are you loud or quiet? If loud, God knows in reality I will not only do a disappearing act, I will never even entertain a conversation . You think you've seen the worst of a naija girl. No apologies. Most naija guys think being loud/crass means they are real, eewwwwwww.

And sagamite, you don't want me to start comparing the approach of a typical naija man to men in america. The manner of approach is very different. Less aggression. . .omg.

/

stillwater:

Sagamite, personality wise are you loud or quiet? If loud, God knows in reality I will not only do a disappearing act, I will never even entertain a conversation . You think you've seen the worst of a naija girl. No apologies. Most naija guys think being loud/crass means they are real, eewwwwwww.

And sagamite, you don't want me to start comparing the approach of a typical naija man to men in america. The manner of approach is very different. Less aggression. . .omg.

I am not quiet. I am not loud.

It all depends on a mixture of my mood, the place/event and the person I am about to communicate with.

On some occassions, I can be pensive, assertive and confident. On other occassions, I can be jovial, warm and confident. Whatever the case, you will know this guy is confident.

My friend was laughing because HE KNEW she was going to get it considering the shock horror on my face. He was already laughing because he KNEW it was going to go into the collections of stories he was going to tell people. I first stared at the girl for about 5 seconds with share amazement all over my face before I said "Are you silly?".

chaircover:

saga maybe the jamo girl had just got off a plane at Gatwick and did not understand your "sarf London"  boy accent and was still trying to process it in her head, but you lost it before she had a chance to 

Let me tell you another story about a Jamo girl.

This was back when we were in 1st year in Uni.

Went to a club with 3 friends, and since we were young ordinary Joes off the street, we took the tube and bus there, queued outside until the all powerful bouncers let us in. We were obviously going to take the night bus back home after club. Wetin we get? Student grant? 

When inside the club, one of my friends approached a Jamo girl and was trying to initiate a conversation and said "Hi". She looked him up and down like he was some UTTER piece of shyt and said:

"When you get a job, a house and a car, come back and try your luck".

I must confess when he told us, we bawled out laughing. It is still something we laugh to in my circle today. But that was really cold.

Now the guy has a great job and is able to afford things, he is with a white girl. The ones that gave him a chance when he had nothing in his youth. Let the mooron stick to her fast-money, prison, serial father yardie men or creidt-card Naija boyz of back in the day, that have no stability and security to offer today.

Sagaman:

I am not quiet. I am not loud.

It all depends on a mixture of my mood, the place/event and the person I am about to communicate with.

On some occassions, I can be pensive, assertive and confident. On other occassions, I can be jovial, warm and confident. Whatever the case, you will know this guy is confident.

My friend was laughing because HE KNEW she was going to get it considering the shock horror on my face. He was already laughing because he KNEW it was going to go into the collections of stories he was going to tell people. I first stared at the girl for about 5 seconds with share amazement all over my face before I said "Are you silly?".



Let me tell you another story about a Jamo girl.

This was back when we were in 1st year in Uni.

Went to a club with 3 friends, and since we were young ordinary Joes off the street, we took the tube and bus there, queued outside until the all powerful bouncers let us in. We were obviously going to take the night bus back home after club. Wetin we get? Student grant? 

When inside the club, one of my friends approached a Jamo girl and was trying to initiate a conversation and said "Hi". She looked him up and down like he was some UTTER piece of shyt and said:

"When you get a job, a house and a car, come back and try your luck".

I must confess when he told us, we bawled out laughing. It is still something we laugh to in my circle today. But that was really cold.

Now the guy has a great job and is able to afford things, he is with a white girl. The ones that gave him a chance when he had nothing in his youth. Let the mooron stick to her fast-money, prison, serial father yardie men or creidt-card Naija boyz of back in the day, that have no stability and security to offer today.

Keep making yourself happy!

^^^^^^^^ Laughing at every comment.

Saga, you should really quit while you're ahead. With each recounted story it's becoming embarrassing. I hear what you're saying and understand, but I don't get the reactions. You obviously must move with a very interesting crowd!

@ CC - Regardless of whether they had a domestic or not, there are ways to behave and things you shouldn't do to draw unnecessary attention to yourselves. Some people simply don't know how to behave in public.

/

chaircover:

The irony of the whole thing is that when you as a husband "offend" a white girl she takes you to the cleaners and wipes her mouth clean.

If it were a Naija wifey, she will first report you to your friends, senior brother, then your parents, then your pastor etc giving you chances upon chances to redeem yourself before she makes a move.

Naija girls accept a 1000 things more than a white girl will accept. Reading stories here on NL confirms this.

VERY TRUE!!!!! No other culture (ladies) perseveres like Nigerian women, well maybe the indians.

ronkebp:

VERY TRUE!!!!! No other culture (ladies) perseveres like Nigerian women, well maybe the indians.

I dunno ooo, I've read some of those "white girl" stories on NL and cringe with embarrassment at how they are maligned and treated. I guess when you know the protocol, you can give someone more opportunities to redeem themselves.

Hmmm. . . I really wonder how much of this Naija wife complaining is effective, percentage-wise? So say 100 wives complain on the first tier, how effective is that before it gets to parents/pastor-level?

//

My phone failed me last night although Chaircover has raised most of the points I wanted to raise. White girls can be very loving but they become emotional wrecks when things do not go their way. I am sure Sagaman cannot deal with such with the way he is painting himself on this thread!