jennykadry:

heheheheheheh sagalicious has turned to a marriage counscellor, ki lo de saga? No money for ya profession again?  

I am multi-talented, baby.

chaircover:

Oh my goodness the daysag team are back in business  

You know how we do it, when we do it.

chaircover:

Seriously though, why cut off your nose to spite your face. Surely it is a vicious circle. If you treat your wife with so much contempt and disrespect, she will do the same and it just goes on from there and they will BOTH be unhappy, so what is the point?

One thing I have realised over my period on this Earth is that it is not really worth arguing with most women. Logic and objectivity flies out when it comes to discussing their behaviour in a relationship. They know the right thing, but they will frequently try and do what they want that gives them the most pleasure even if it is wrong or selfish.

My planned approach to any issue with a woman in my life is that:

- I will tell you what I have an issue with if it is serious. I will say it clearly and respectfully.

- Let her respond. It is best she makes sense but my fingers are not crossed with women. I expect the me, me, me.

- The respond is not relevant to me. I will see how you attitude changes in respect to the complaint/issue I raised. Actions speak louder than words and I know people can be defensive even though they understand the complaint.

- If I see positive change, I will try and support the change with compliments, advice and patience (people don't change in a day)

- If it does not change, depending on the significance of the issue, if it is low, we will go back to the begining of me telling you about the issue until we get hear again.

- If it is of high significance, I will respond by not giving a hoot. This is where fire starts. It is better she calls fire-brigade and start dousing the fire and see whether we can go to that important discussions.

- If she come with the attitude of "Whatever, I will show you, blah, blah, blah". Then I will show her I really could not give a hoot. I will look for my happiness elsewhere without a jot of regret. By the way, she is free to find hers too.

- If she no like am, I will go to the market and get a rope. I will tie her the noose and offer it to her. If she does not take it, I will help her tie it to some reinforced structure and direct her on how to use it.

Don't argue or debate with unreasonable women. Life is short, enjoy it.

No man/woman not interested in making you happy is worth your time. I can understand why some men might just chin a woman.

@Jenny and other female dam.n good drivers,
Sorry to derail CCs thread but please Ladies can you tell me what areas of Lagos you drove through?
With all the Danfos and Molues and OKADAs.
Like I said it is like a scene from Dantes inferno. The constant blaring of horns.
The hawkers-Ladies there in NO way you will drive through this madness without a scratch except you are driving abroad!

//

Lmao CC you wicked ooo, by force braking just to wake the poor man up . Iyana Iba was my route naaaa. I fellowship weekdays in one church diaaaa. The evening hold up around Volks will make you cry and yea I reverse a lot without looking at the mirrors

@Richy
I say I sabi drive, ki lo de? Leave me joooo, only a few times(ok all the time) have I DRIVEN without checking the oil and water coolant level in the car. I told my husband that I don't know why he bothers, shebi the car gets serviced every 6months, the coolant they put in there should be enough naaaa.


@Topic 

Such a man will not see my unclothedness again.

Ladies I once abandoned my car in one petrol station around Volkswagen after spending almost six hours in that hold up-it was complete bedlam,insanity and madness all rolled into one place with vehicles breaking down all over the place from overheating. Took an Okada home and surprisingly when I came back to pick the vehicle-it was still in one piece.

Its crazy,but I love Lagos and even when I travel out I still find myself missing the madness.

[img]http://www.google.com/imgres?q=nigerian+railway+corporation&hl=en&gbv=2&tbm=isch&tbnid=kPAhemz896gr3M:&imgrefurl=http://www.theinfostrides.com/%3Ftopic%3D36313.0&docid=3D6n38RagLA-CM&imgurl=http://cdn.theinfostrides.com/img/Nigerian-Railway-Corporation-NRC.GIF&w=109&h=56&ei=L-22Tt3BGpSxhAfrh6GqBA&zoom=1&biw=1600&bih=738[/img]

Sagamite:

I am multi-talented, baby.

You know how we do it, when we do it.

One thing I have realised over my period on this Earth is that it is not really worth arguing with most women. Logic and objectivity flies out when it comes to discussing their behaviour in a relationship. They know the right thing, but they will frequently try and do what they want that gives them the most pleasure even if it is wrong or selfish.

My planned approach to any issue with a woman in my life is that:

- I will tell you what I have an issue with if it is serious. I will say it clearly and respectfully.

- Let her respond. It is best she makes sense but my fingers are not crossed with women. I expect the me, me, me.

- The respond is not relevant to me. I will see how you attitude changes in respect to the complaint/issue I raised. Actions speak louder than words and I know people can be defensive even though they understand the complaint.

- If I see positive change, I will try and support the change with compliments, advice and patience (people don't change in a day)

- If it does not change, depending on the significance of the issue, if it is low, we will go back to the begining of me telling you about the issue until we get hear again.

- If it is of high significance, I will respond by not giving a hoot. This is where fire starts. It is better she calls fire-brigade and start dousing the fire and see whether we can go to that important discussions.

- [b]If she come with the attitude of "Whatever, I will show you, blah, blah, blah". Then I will show her I really could not give a hoot. I will look for my happiness elsewhere without a jot of regret. By the way, she is free to find hers too.

- If she no like am, I will go to the market and get a rope. I will tie her the noose and offer it to her. If she does not take it, I will help her tie it to some reinforced structure and direct her on how to use it.

Don't argue or debate with unreasonable women. Life is short, enjoy it.[/b]No man/woman not interested in making you happy is worth your time. I can understand why some men might just chin a woman.

And this is for the woman, you claim to 'love'.

I also love riding on Okadas, goshhhhhhh I miss Lagos already.

Stewpid, moroonic, foolish spambot. 

ronkebp:

And this is for the woman, you claim to 'love'.

Have you thought of it from this angle?

"This is the woman that claims to 'love' me and thinks she deserves my 'love'?"

Sagamite:

I am multi-talented, baby.

You know how we do it, when we do it.

One thing I have realised over my period on this Earth is that it is not really worth arguing with most women. Logic and objectivity flies out when it comes to discussing their behaviour in a relationship. They know the right thing, but they will frequently try and do what they want that gives them the most pleasure even if it is wrong or selfish.

My planned approach to any issue with a woman in my life is that:

- I will tell you what I have an issue with if it is serious. I will say it clearly and respectfully.

- Let her respond. It is best she makes sense but my fingers are not crossed with women. I expect the me, me, me.

- The respond is not relevant to me. I will see how you attitude changes in respect to the complaint/issue I raised. Actions speak louder than words and I know people can be defensive even though they understand the complaint.

- If I see positive change, I will try and support the change with compliments, advice and patience (people don't change in a day)

- If it does not change, depending on the significance of the issue, if it is low, we will go back to the begining of me telling you about the issue until we get here again.

- If it is of high significance, I will respond by not giving a hoot. This is where fire starts. It is better she calls fire-brigade and start dousing the fire and see whether we can go to that important discussions.

- If she come with the attitude of "Whatever, I will show you, blah, blah, blah". Then I will show her I really could not give a hoot. I will look for my happiness elsewhere without a jot of regret. By the way, she is free to find hers too.

- If she no like am, I will go to the market and get a rope. I will tie her the noose and offer it to her. If she does not take it, I will help her tie it to some reinforced structure and direct her on how to use it.

Don't argue or debate with unreasonable women. Life is short, enjoy it.

No man/woman not interested in making you happy is worth your time. I can understand why some men might just chin a woman.

I hope you are not one those L'Oreal women ("Because I am worth it", who think everything about a relationship is about them?

You think my 'love' is cheap for or free to people that abuse it?

^^^Sagamite go and marry. Every time you'd be doing superman on the net. Go jare. Hope you are not one of those grim faced naija men.

chaircover:

LOL reminds me of when my husband and I were caught kissing at a wedding in Nigeria and our picture was published in a magazine. People were like WTF. Kissing in public ke!!! Someone even thought that my husband was kissing another woman because they couldnt beleive that he will kiss his wife in public 

BTW it was a simple kiss o! no exchange of drool 

Lol. That's funny.

let me make a point clear here, women generally talk, its in their nature. Men are not gifted talkers. Women need to study the mood of their spouse and know when to chat him.

Personally, i don't like chatting in public places, especially long or loud chats. I will talk as short as possible on any conversation. I use to have that problem with my aunt as she cant just stop talking (commenting) and most of her talks are "question asking talks", invariably i will be answering questions like am being interrogated by police so am always forming asleep or reading when am with her in a public place. Imagine if she were to be my wife, we will hardly get along.

women just need to know men talk less and should know when to start a chat. men do more talks i their head.

The man who came from a trip and couldn't say hi his wife and family is just something else, perhaps he had a bad day. He shouldn't transfer his aggression to his wife (if she is his wife).

its their business paddle your own canoe,moreover na people you go watch for airport?

Please lets not generalize, with things like men are not gifted talkers and women talk a lot. No matter how widespread a behaviour is among any gender, there are still exceptions so please. . . .and on the topic,
Obviously the men will want to see things from the husbands' point of view and the women will want to see things from the wives' point of view, and since OP just saw the couples and didn't have any knowledge of the true situation, there is no point apportioning blame and no point to the entire thread.

Please lets not generalize, with things like men are not gifted talkers and women talk a lot. No matter how widespread a behaviour is among any gender, there are still exceptions so please. . . .and on the topic,
Obviously the men will want to see things from the husbands' point of view and the women will want to see things from the wives' point of view, and since OP just saw the couples and didn't have any knowledge of the true situation, there is no point apportioning blame and no point to the entire thread.

DOGI DOPE:

its their business paddle your own canoe,moreover na people you go watch for airport?

I'm guilty of the bolded as well it's a hell of a lot of fun. . .

@thread
while I belong firmly to the not-talking-to-you-when-i'm-pissed school of thought or the one-word-answers school of thought, the part I fail to understand is why a man would let his wife and kids struggle with baggage (his or theirs all join). The dude should just take the luggage and continue not talking to her nii. . . that's part of being a (married)man, there are things they(emphasis on the they     ) SHOULD/MUST do irregardless of how you feel at the moment.

Being the bigger/stronger/whatever-you-want-to-call-it-person means that there are times you need to suck it up and do the right thing even if you've done the wrong thing in your head a million times over!

There's nothing manly about letting your emotions make you come across as retarded IMNSHO

stillwater:

^^^Sagamite go and marry. Every time you'd be doing superman on the net. Go jare. Hope you are not one of those grim faced naija men.

They don't make them like they used to anymore. And I am not metrosexual, I am He-man, so I don't really like L'Oreal products.

So for someone like me who's not into public display of affection,i'd be termed 'arrogant'.O ma se o!

Btw,i'm recommending this new seatbelt design for enhanced road safety.Probably this could have averted the 34 car pile up along the M5 recently.

cold:

So for someone like me who's not into public display of affection,i'd be termed 'arrogant'.O ma se o!

No my brother, you would be termed "too arrogant to show love to your wife in public."  

Whilst I am not in support of being mushy in public, you should be able to sprinkle some show of affection to your wife in public once in a while- i know a guy(man) who is really good at this.

^^Yeah I concur.A lil sprinkling of affection here & there is cool

Let us put it this way: if you cannot show love to your wife in public, whom are you going to show it to?

DOGI DOPE:

its their business paddle your own canoe,moreover na people you go watch for airport?

Best response so far.

isleman:

Men are not gifted talkers.

You mean, generally men are not given to idle talk or talk that yields no profit or serves no purpose.

maclatunji:

Let us put it this way: if you cannot show love to your wife in public, whom are you going to show it to?

They would show it to their girlfriends outside.

maclatunji:

Let us put it this way: if you cannot show love to your wife in public, whom are you going to show it to?

i woonder

What is d problem with the second scenario? That he did not kiss and cuddle d wife abi he collect steering? If my husband insists I drive na dat time he go see my red eye. Keep d kissing n cuddling for when we r at home.

Why would a husband & father merely stand to the side and watch as his wife and kids labor & slug around luggages? He probably does not think anything of it is my guess.

Once I was slugging some heavy luggage from an apartment building to the car for a sick friend who was travelling. As I brought out luggage after luggage stacking into the car, there were 3 african men standing beside a car nearby just chatting and laughing and looking at me as I kept going in & out. On the 3rd luggage, a postal truck pulls up, the worker gets out to drop off the packages. As soon as he saw me he walks right over and offers to give me a hand with the bags and he helps me with the rest.

  I honestly think a lot of (obviously not all) men of african descent just do not think much about things like these . . . at least from what I've seen.

chaircover:

On a flight from Lagos recently, I was people watching as usual and this is what I noticed.

Couple A - Husband didnt say a word to his wife througout the flight. Each time she tried to speak to him it was a grunt or a yes or no answer or as limited words as posible. I didnt know that they were husband and wife until we landed and the kids came up and called them mummy and daddy. Anyway he stood back while wifey and the kids got all their suitcases off the conveyor belt. At a point the kids and wifey didnt have the strenght to get a particular suitcase off the belt so it had to go round a second time, but hubby didnt rush forward to help at all. He was just rabbiting away on his phone, ignoring all the drama.

Couple B  - I am outside the terminal now waiting for my taxi and standing a few metres away from another guy I was on the flight with.  Few minutes later wifey pulls up in a brand new merc with a child in the front seat but I dont think she spotted her hubby on time. He starts cussing; cant she see bla bla bla. Eventually she sees him, starts smiling and stops the car and the guy walks towards the car but you can see that he is still angry. Still scowling, hubby goes straight to the boot and starts putting his luggage in the car. Not even a kiss or cuddle for his wife who has taken the effort to come pick him up. He takes the key from his wife, jumps into the drivers seat and wifey has to sit at the back and he drives off.

Is it me but I am thinkng, why are these guys so arrogant towards their wives? Is that they way they are and it has nothng to do with their money or has the money gone to their brains  and these were young educated guys.

And if it not arrogance, then have they just grown so far apart? Couple B are in their early thirties & couple A in their early forties.

This post had me laughing so hard!! A couple of years ago, I wrote about Chilvalry and how it is so not part of the Naija man's dico!!

It's kinda long oh, so bear with me.

Sisikill:

MOURNING

Chivalry is dead!

It is Time to mourn!

It is Time to reflect on how Chivalry touched us all

If chivalry was a human being and you were called spur of the moment to reminisce about it, how would you react? Will it be. . .

1)  A Deer caught in a headlight reaction.
2) A Cat that got the cream

Sadly for many Nigerian women, the first is often the case.

A month ago, I took my nephew to a birthday party. It was in a park and honestly, I can’t deny it, I had fun. As a matter of fact, I’ll take it one step further and say I always have fun at children’s parties. . . apart from being so much older than them, giving me the advantage to win all the games, I enjoy watching kids have fun. Children are so uninhibited and it’s amazing how they take pleasure in the something as simple as a paper caught in the wind. Seriously, you’d have to be on a totally different . . . abnormal emotional level not to feel them and even moved to join in. . . that or a Naija daddy.

Gasps

Oh! Oh! Do you hear that. . .  the sound of 10000 Naija men coming for me!

My offense – First Degree Generalization. Punishment – Lifetime of hell on earth, which in MANSPEAK means manless fur-evah!.

Oh, pipe down boys, sheesh!  I KNOW THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS TO EVERYTHING IN LIFE, okay? I know there are wonderful Nigerian men out there, I know there are amazing Nigerian dads, who take pleasure in the sound of their children’s happiness, who without even knowing what he’s laughing at, smile when they hear him do. I know there are GOOD NIGERIAN DADDIES and HUSBANDS out there. . . I KNOW! I KNOW! I KNOW! So it goes or rather it should go without saying that this is NOT directed at the WONDERFUL, AMAZING, CARING, WONDERFUL Husbands and Fathers.

Ay! Sucking up sucks!

Anyway, back to the park

The party went very well, apart from the whole . . . daddies standing on the other side of the park, totally disconnect from the group, drinking their Hyyynikins part, of course. Okay, wait. . . before anyone jumps down my throat, I don’t hold it against them.  I’m "aware" enough to know that kind of thing is a NO NO in our culture. Sure it would have been nice to have had the daddies join in when they called for the parent-child relay or the parent-child 3 legged race, but seriously I can see how that might be perceived as something beneath them, so let’s just forget that side.

The part where it all went to hell was after the party and it was time to clean up. A few of us who had offered to help did so, carrying on like happy little beavers, picking stuff off the grass, emptying large gorodoms and basias of ice (took two of us to carry one), taking packs drinks, empty and half empty coolers to the cars, dismantling the rented chairs and putting them back on the rack like the rental company instructed. . . . We, WOMEN all of us. . .  and the men? Gisting away like old biddies in a nursing home.

Yep, not one even the smallest muscle in their body moved to our direction

After I caught my finger for the fifth time folding the chairs, I thought. . .  Nah! Nah! that it, I not about to lose a nail over a party that had nothing to do with me and mine. If the husband’s puny brain cannot tell him. . . "Hey man, put the discussion on hold and go help your wife fold the 150 chairs used for your child's party" and she does not have the guts to say “Honey, do you mind helping me with these”. . .  then it is their problem, not mine.

So I washed my hands. . . literally and figuratively speaking, went to fetch my nephew, ready to say my adios to them and what did I see. . . the celebrant’s mother, her sister and a friend  trying to dismantle to the freaking tent!

I'll give you a mental picture

On this corner we have the celebrant's daddy, his uncle and about three to four of daddy’s friend, standing, talking and drinking, the average weight and height for all six men is probably 230lb and 6ft. On the other corner are three women, average weight and height 180lb and 5.6, attempting to take a 27’ by 42’ tent (I asked. . . for when I tell people).  I could not believe it. I understand not playing with the kids, I understand not logging bags of ice back and forth but this. . . nah!  I’m stood there my mouth wide open looking from the men to women, men to women, men to women. . .  trying to telepathically slap some sense into one group. I was so angry, I thought what should I do? I came up with two options, stump my feet on the floor like a brat or scream . . so I screamed

“Aaaaaaah!”

Oh my poor nephew, he was shaken but the end justified the means because I got everyone's attention, wondering why I was shrieking like a banshee. Oh I thought the tent was about to fall on them, I said innocently. At last they noticed the women and it only took the thought of one of the women getting maimed by a tent pole but they noticed. . . that's all that mattered. The men looked at the women and the women looked at me because they knew the tent wasn’t about to do jack!

I'm sure you're thinking these men immediately put their drinks away and went to help, right? Ha! Come on! You should know better than that. The daddy still had to ask “Do you need help over there? and Mommy's answer “If you don’t mind”

Oh my God! Insanity!!

Having gotten the confirmation that they won't be doing a task the women can do, all of them with their potbellies, waddle over to the tent and started dismantling it. I shook my head, grabbed my nephew’s hand with one thought in my mind. . . I need out NOW!

I was putting my nephew in his car seat when the wife’s friend came to me, started hitting me playfully and laughing. “Aah! Omo ake ni woo mo yi” (I don’t know how to translate that in English). She told me she had been pissed off all day because of the man's unhelpful attitude but she didn’t want to say anything to ruin her friend’s day and blah, blah. . .  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I smiled, giggled, said goodnight, got in my car and sped off.

I needed to get as far away from these men as fast as I could, forgetting for a moment that it was impossible because they are everywhere!

At the malls, hands in pocket, nary a care in the world, while their wives struggle with four shopping bags and trying to keep the “[i]o jo mi” [/i]brats in line,

At the airport, sitting in the driver’s side as their wives struggle to get her luggage out of the trunk. . . after having to remind him to open it and heaven help her if she does not get it out on time, she will be eating car dust.

At church walking in front of the carseat and diaper bag carrying, child controlling woman.

At the grocery store, sitting in the car watching their wives load bags and bags of grocery in the trunk.

Chivalry is dead, they say. . . mourn it.

How?

How do you mourn something you never knew?

ronkebp:

They would show it to their girlfriends outside.

Your wife is the real deal, not some fleeting distraction. So, if you cannot show her love once in a while in public you should check yourself!

By the way @RonkeBP: doth ye speaketh from experience?  

@Sisi_Kill, reading your post just reminds me of some aburos (younger friends) I have. They are already taking-up d nasty habit of being haughty without being close to getting married. The thing is: you women too should stop rewarding guys who behave like jerks and then you start complaining when they start behaving like they always have. That is why I was close to agreement with dayokanu's first comment on this thread.

Reminds me of the first time that I went to Nigeria with the boys. On 2 or three occassions when I was stuggling with my double stroller and trying to balance purse 2 overly excited children and everything else in a very public place (once or twice at airports and the other at a bank) the only people that came to my aid were white men. IN NIGERIA. lol. At the bank the man even held my 10 month old son while I tried to fix the wheel of the stroller. I thanked him with a smile but wondered why nobody not even the women thought to assist. It is not a big deal people wrestle with strollers everyday but I know for a fact that if I were at the mall or anywhere else and I saw a woman with a stroller or kids on both arms I will hold the door for her to walk through and when my kids were still young enough to need a stroller I even came to expect it in a way. I am wondering what the guy at the airport was thinking when he got out of line to help me. Was he thinking don't these people standing around have any sense. Nigerian women were probably thinking "this one no fit push stroller sef" and the men were probably thinking "yeye woman wey no fit carry two toddlers at the same time" lol.

maclatunji:

Your wife is the real deal, not some fleeting distraction. So, if you cannot show her love once in a while in public you should check yourself!

By the way @RonkeBP: doth ye speaketh from experience?  

@Sisi_Kill, reading your post just reminds me of some aburos (younger friends) I have. They are already taking-up d nasty habit of being haughty without being close to getting married. The thing is: you women too should stop rewarding guys who behave like jerks and then you start complaining when they start behaving like they always have. That is why I was close to agreement with dayokanu's first comment on this thread.

You are right, some women are partly to blame for this behavior. Sadly some girls don't want to rock the boat before marriage, so they take crap hoping that when they get married. . .they will change the guy. Yeah, we all know how well that works.