Hi all,

I was here some months back seeking help on the best way to propose to my girlfriend of 4years, we have fixed our introduction and traditional marriage for 3rd january 2012, but am having double mind,

Am thinking of calling off the wedding, there is this particular girl that works in an audit firm opposite my office, met her a few weeks ago, gosh, where do i start, she is the most intelligent girl i have ever seen, i cherish her company so much, everything about her is so perfect, i droll and think of her all the time, have asked her out and even though she has not yet given me a direct answer, i know she will succumb someday, spending the night/weekend with her is so blissful, she even knows how to play my favourite PS winning eleven, am so thrilled, a great cook and keeps my house sparkling clean each tym she comes for a visit,

I have prayed for this feeling to go away all to no avail, i dont want to disappoint my fiance, she has been so nice and helpful to me, her people have been so nice to me all thruout our dating years and am like a son to her mum, the woman believes so much in me, i can handle my mum and sisters questions but how do i explain to her family??

please i will appreciate if anybody can advice me on the best way or method i can use to forget about this new girl and focus on my impending marriage, am seriously losing it,

Here you go, divergent ascendancy from each of then means only you can cinch which one of them is more propitious.
Polygamy is not a taboo in africa you can still

so simple this feelings you have for this new lady will fade away as time goes on and you will come back here on Nl again to seek for another advice that you found someone you love again.
Listen my brother the truth is that Love shacks at first if you can cut off your proposed future wedding because of a new girl who knows how to play ps,cook,clean your house i am sure when you see the one that can fly a Plane you will surely drp this new one , goodluck in your decision.

So playing PS is a plus and means intelligence? That means I'm a guru then,OP I'll whoop your a.ss, been playing since I can remember,there's no biggie in it,you want to throw away a four years relationship cos you are fascinated with a ps playing girl,I mean like Bandlejay said,what will happen if you meet a lady that can fly a plane?just get your head together,I'm sure in time it'll pass,stop hanging with this chic and concentrate on your girl,except you were already tired of her before this new girl happened in which case you have some serious thinking to do but if its just for chance at playing steady ps with the new girl then I'm sure you are making a mistake believe me,you'll tire of her and the game anyways cos at a point you'll start complaining that she plays way too much of it,trust me I got that a lot.

The poor girl is preparing for her introduction and you are asking another girl out? WTF! Its guys like you that make me wanna go GAGA! Why did you propose if you were not sure?

u can't just trow away a 4 year relationship just because of some new chic who u hardly know, my advice is u stay away from her, and concentrate on ur wedding plans unless u don't really love ur fiancee.

cynthiafred67:

u can't just trow away a 4 year relationship just because of some new chic who u hardly know, my advice is u stay away from her, and concentrate on your wedding plans unless u don't really love your fiancee.

cynthia may we make some wedding plans?

Adaeze003:

The poor girl is preparing for her introduction and you are asking another girl out? WTF! Its guys like you that make me wanna go GAGA! Why did you propose if you were not sure?

Dont judge me dear, wouldnt be here if i dont have a conscience,

freecocoa:

So playing PS is a plus and means intelligence? That means I'm a guru then,OP I'll whoop your behind, been playing since I can remember,there's no biggie in it,you want to throw away a four years relationship cos you are fascinated with a ps playing girl,I mean like Bandlejay said,what will happen if you meet a lady that can fly a plane?just get your head together,I'm sure in time it'll pass,stop hanging with this chic and concentrate on your girl,except you were already tired of her before this new girl happened in which case you have some serious thinking to do but if its just for chance at playing steady ps with the new girl then I'm sure you are making a mistake believe me,you'll tire of her and the game anyways cos at a point you'll start complaining that she plays way too much of it,trust me I got that a lot.

lol, dont be too sure, i have 13years experience dear, PS 1,2,3, X-BOX kinetic, bring it on,

nawfia:



lol, dont be too sure, i have 13years experience dear, PS 1,2,3, X-BOX kinetic, bring it on,

Oh well I handled my first pad in 2001 so I guess I'll give it to you,but remember its not who started playing first,I know how to use my cheats*winks* but seriously think about what I said in the post and do the right thing,goodluck.

freecocoa:

Oh well I handled my first pad in 2001 so I guess I'll give it to you,but remember its not who started playing first,I know how to use my cheats*winks* but seriously think about what I said in the post and do the right thing,goodluck.

@ op
would you stop day dreaming an face the reality of life. You are in a relationship so why dont you tell the new girl that you are in a relationship and see if you wont outgrow the crush?

::Andrew:::

cynthia may we make some wedding plans?

^^ Why

OP, look for a poster named Sleek Reek, bet he has got an answer for u

@ op
I'm not in any way judging you. You should not be looking outside as far as you 've put a ring on someone's finger. What were you expecting when you started this thread? A pat on the back?  

lemmie be honest with you.
In this life there will always be a beautiful and more intelligent woman than the one you choose to settle down with.
God is fair enough and he wants everybody to settle down with the best.It his way of giving everybody a fair chance.
Now ask yourself, if what you are attracted to is enough to last you a lifetime. How long have you u known this new chick cz all these acts shes putting up to entice can disappear in shortwhile.
You have not spoken bad about the gal u intend to marry.She's a treasure. So why are you blinded by this other one?
Do yourself a favour and put this new love to test.See if its true or fake then decide where your heart lays before you marry!
And walk the earth knowing that you will meet more beautiful and intelligent ladies elsewhere. How long will you keep playing the game? It takes maturity to settle down in marriage and being able to overlook other women's attractiveness and loving your wife regardless is part of it.

Oh u asked for the method? okay here' is mine.

1. Stop her from coming to your house.
2. Spend more time talking with your gal than her.
3. Avoid her as much as you can.Stop looking her direction or going to  her desk.
4. Delete her number.
5. Repeat all the above and see if you still harbour feelings.

You are experiencing a crash and crashes come and go.They only germinate when you feed and water them.
So try suffocating it.
If you still feel her after trying all to avoid her,postpone your wedding please.You don't want to become adulterous 2 weeks into your wedding.

cynthiafred67:


^^ Why

Because for this reason a man will leave his mother and father and stick to his cynthia

People occasionally experience pre-marital cold feet, and long for the thrill of a new relationship to reassure themselves of their value/worth. Therefore, what you are going through is normal.

What you need to do is work on your mindset, in addition to the other suggestions. Everything begins in the mind; battles/wars are won in the mind. If you can make up your mind to forget about her, then you will.

Marriage itself is a battlefield, and if you can’t control your urges/feelings now, when you get there, it will only get worse.
There is a saying that goes “give the devil an inch, and he’ll take a mile”. My advice to you if you survive this, is to avoid temptation by not being overly friendly towards women as they are obviously ‘feeling the boy’. Create a boundary, and be determined not to cross it, whatever happens.

Wish you marital bliss. . .
P.S. don’t forget to come back with your testimony next year, lol.

If you play with fire it may burn you; once you have put your hand to the plough there is no turning back. Better count the costs before going to war, you may end up loosing both girls.

infatuation

LOL! am an expert in cases like this!!! lol!

@Op you don dey craze!! bees dey play drum for your head? you want make Ogun kill you?

SEE THIS YEYE BOI!!!

How would you ever think of breaking up with your supposed babe all becuz of one thing called girl next door!! see what lagos traffic has caused!!!!

You even have the guts to say she comes to your house to clean!!

THE MOST PAINFUL PART IS THAT, YOU NEVA BLEEP THE GIRL SELF!!!!

From your post, i can tell what is wrong with you!!! NA LUST!!!

if you bleep the girl like 20 times, na anoda story you go dey talk!

See your oju kokoro mouth and eyes!, common go back to your old yam and continue to eat it till death( in marriage) do you both apart!

I just remembered the best way for you to forget; hand her over to us for further processing.

That miss PS2 of 2011 wants a PS2 husband


Omo I go trash you if you near me

the best way to get over a crush is to find other distractions, say for instance, focusing  on wedding plans, and work, trying to do stuff that would make u think of the person less, the next step is avoidance, out of site IS out of mind.
u can also try telling her bout ur marriage, if she is decent enough she would give u space,
I wouldnt b quick to judge u, we r all human beings and no one is perfect, but don't screw it up sha,

To rephrase a famous quote by Margaret Thatcher: starve your feelings of the oxygen of publicity,

nawfia:

Hi all,

I was here some months back seeking help on the best way to propose to my girlfriend of 4years, we have fixed our introduction and traditional marriage for 3rd january 2012, but am having double mind,

Am thinking of calling off the wedding, there is this particular girl that works in an audit firm opposite my office, met her a few weeks ago, gosh, where do i start, she is the most intelligent girl i have ever seen, i cherish her company so much, everything about her is so perfect, i droll and think of her all the time, have asked her out and even though she has not yet given me a direct answer, i know she will succumb someday, spending the night/weekend with her is so blissful, she even knows how to play my favourite PS winning eleven, am so thrilled, a great cook and keeps my house sparkling clean each tym she comes for a visit,

I have prayed for this feeling to go away all to no avail, i d[b]ont want to disappoint my fiance,[/b] s[b]he has been so nice and  helpful to me, her people have been so nice to me all thruout our dating years and am like a son to her mum, the woman believes so much in me, i can handle my mum and sisters questions but how do i explain to her family??[/b]

please i will appreciate if anybody can advice me on the best way or method i can use to forget about this new girl and focus on my impending marriage, am seriously losing it,

So, in short, you dont want to call off the wedding because:

you dont want to disappoint your fiancée
you dont want to let the family down because they believe in you
you dont know how to explain to the family that you will not be able to marry their daughter
they have been really nice to you and you are like a son to them.

Im really sorry for your wife if you do end up marrying her. Frankly, I dont think you are ready for marriage. It also seems like you do not know what you want in a wife.

how best to forget a crush? SELF-DISCIPLINE/ SELF-CONTROL
stay away from her and other females you are friendly with. Guys who can't control themselves shouldn't be keeping female friends.
Play PS-3 with your male friends. don't you have any?

there really isn't any other advice besides self-discipline.
imagine you are not married yet and can't control your self. how will you be capable of becoming a responsible husband and father?

and usually guys who are prone to cheating are also given to other irresponsible acts like missing work, absent in their children's lives, drinking, lack of spirituality etc. It's all due to the lack of discipline and responsibility.

this thread you created about having four-some with cousins is an example. I don't really know why you are even planning to marry. People like you should be banned from getting married. lol
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=570983.msg7364567#msg7364567

if you like her for her PS skills why not teach your fiance how to play it too even better,

Tell the new girl about ur wife-to-be. Tell ur wife-to-be about her too and if possible arrange for the two to meet and u will see the crush spirit delivered But seriously arrange a meeting and introduce ur woman to the new girl and u wont feel like going extra miles with her thats if u really wish to do the right thing.

Nawfia i cn categorically say that you r not a serious man. why would u ask a girl to marry u when u r not ready to forsake others?

its really ojokokoro cockroach eye that is worrying u. people like u r never satisfied with what u have. u will alwys be admiring other things.

if u marry the new girl now, u might start liking her sister or cousin and realise that they even more intelligent and they play PS 1, 2, 3, 4, 5- 10 sef and XBOX or whateva.

abeg grow up and grow a pair!!!! u dont seem like husband material.

If ur marrying cos of PS boi i fink am on ur wifey list.
U r just avin a crush based on mere attraction wen d dust settles i fink u will see clearly. Tell er u av a fiancee den watch her reaction from dat day onwards and stop takin advantage of an innocent gal.

I think you are just cheating on your fiancee. Maybe u don't deserve her after all. Otherwise how can u still be looking out when u've fixed a wedding date? Marriage is about DECIDING to STAY with one person in spite of the several 'WONDERFUL' ones out there. That's why its not meant for boys. Grow up my friend.