hmmm

(mechanical engineer),
On sighting you, my neck and joints got stiffened like a Robot erroneously not programmed with inverse kinematics!
As you walked and wriggled ur waist, it sent shock waves to my heart which resonated with off-chart vibra-oscillations and noise disturbance of 200 decibels!
Not even Rankine's theory of failure can explain why my jaw bolts cringed and dropped as my elastic 'Nozzle' got actuated and strangely hardened beyond its permissible shear stress!!!
Girl, of all d Airbags ive seen, only d ones on ur chest actully seem to meet up 2 d International Automobile Safety standard, And i would gladly take u 4 a test drive!

ceejayluv:

(mechanical engineer),
On sighting you, my neck and joints got stiffened like a Robot erroneously not programmed with inverse kinematics!
As you walked and wriggled your waist, it sent shock waves to my heart which resonated with off-chart vibra-oscillations and noise disturbance of 200 decibels!
Not even Rankine's theory of failure can explain why my jaw bolts cringed and dropped as my elastic 'Nozzle' got actuated and strangely hardened beyond its permissible shear stress!!!
Girl, of all d Airbags ive seen, only d ones on your chest actully seem to meet up 2 d International Automobile Safety standard, And i would gladly take u 4 a test drive!

airbags indeed,lolzz

I no sabi grammer, girl i wan nail you with my hammer.

My pendulum keeps vibrating on citing ur end view, all i want 4rm u is 2 let me insert my shaft into ur hole. There's no need 4 bushing cuz my rod(dick) 'll fit-in perfectly into ur ring(pussy)

I want to credit your family and debit mine and the value in exchange is going to be you.

no police officer yet? I would really like to know how they would toast their babe. . .

Hmm,d moment i noticed ur presence my metacentric height of my body has bcom -ve makin my brain unstable in its engineroom,com to me so i can countabore (witour fear of friction cos i hv my lubricant which met d SAE viscosity standard to witstand any tough flashpoint encountarable & turn ur body if its physically deformd,girl u dnt wori even if my brinell hardness testin machine says u r 2 hard to cope i hav my metallurgical furnace to restructure ur internal crystal lattice structure,u dont hv to wori abt cold harmatan i'i get u heated 4rm bcc structure to fcc & dat does soften ur body i'l anneal it,& dat proves stuborn i'l heat u to laten heat of vaporization,wit dat we suld b able to 4rm a close system dat nid no xternal carburation to throttle our V8 system engine to d higestest to torque ungaugable by any american metric tachometer & if u refuse all my vocal fuelprimin,coldcranckstartin & want to leave my life neutrally bisected,i also tamper wit ur engine leavin u untroubleshootable by any chinese,german & even american made autotronic gadget.

I want to browse your website

You are the IP address that connects me to the world !!!!!!

Wow, best thread so far, and you all are cool I think I learnt plenty and still learningpls grant copyright as all this write up is an asset itself, I dont need to crack my brain of what to say really.
Big up to the mariner representing, okada man, danfo driver, geologist you rock, everybody not forgetting the op himself or herself.

Some of the response in this thread are indeed brilliant. Nice one peeps

Legal lexicon
Condition precedent – what has to happen before something occurs
Possibility of reverter – something to re-occur
Contingency – occurrence of event
Easement  - right to use
Mutual consideration – promise not enforceable
Abrogate – revoke
Abeyance – No legal owner
Adversely possess – Legally take
Age of majority  - adult
Collude – secretly cooperate


Condition precedent a second encounter, a friend (hereinafter known as “Observer 1”) and I (hereinafter know as “Observer 2”), wondered a possibility of reverter or contingency to a day wherein Observer 2 saw what appeared to be an angelic being with a pair of undulating protuberances at a posterior of said angelic being, said undulating protuberances appeared to synchronously gyrate with alternate ones of each step as said angelic being floats on down said street.

Said angelic being is Jane Doe (hereinafter known as “Observee”) walking briskly due to a downward slope of said street, said downward slope is of undetermined angle. Observer 2 observed said walk on said street and took cognizance of Observee’s lovely gaze on said aforementioned day and wondered what the easement requirements are.

Thereafter said observation, Observee have or appeared to have caused Observer 2 to be of questionable character, and Observer 2 from time aforesaid promised Observer 1 without mutual consideration, Observer 2 will approach Observee at the second encounter to ask Observee out, presupposing Observer 2 is still of questionable character.

At said second encounter, Observer 2 told Observee that Observer 2 won’t abrogate a contract with Observee if there’s abeyance of Observee, and even if said abeyance is determined, Observer 2 will adversely possess Observee as long as Observee is age of majority and colludes with Observer 2.

SMH!!!!!!! MEN

Does toasting/compliment really have to have a sexual connotation to it everytime?? REALLLLLYYY??!? 


(funny ish tho but I've have to pass "NEXT"!)

To "The One"

In my wanderings on the global social network, I thought I'd seen it all until I encountered you and it was a pleasant surprise cos even deep packet inspection could not have come up with anything that piques my curiosity as you do.

Make no mistake about it, the perfect symmetry of your physical avatar was like nothing else I'd been opportuned to behold, the visage of both your header and trailer were an intense stimuli titilating my bodily sensors to overloading and I assure you, even as I put fingers to keyboard my faculties are in a permanent state of recursion as I stand in awe of your perfect encoding which passes every cyclic redundancy check in existence. I dare say my fingers would really be better suited to mapping out a traceroute of the intricate sections of your voluptous construct while I savour every path this pleasurable undertaking takes me through.

Believe me when I say that I'm a hacker and not a cracker, a white hat in all respects and I hereby make a vow not to cause any fragmentation in your core but to gladly deploy my toolkit to engage in penetration testing of your walled garden thereby flushing out every malicious code in the process. I will also subsequently surround you with an impregnable firewall active at all 7 layers of the OSI model. You and I are meant for each other and I propose a shared secret key that will bind us together for all time preventing any man or woman in the middle attacks.

I anticipate a prompt reply to my ping and you can be sure my eyes will be glued to my monitoring screens with high expectations. Make haste darling and lets get these links saturated with the right vibes.

Non-repudiately yours,
Duduspace.

A lawyer tells his lady " I, Ovundah, Solicitor and Advocate of the Supreme Court of Nigeria,make oath and say as follows, that is to say THAT PURSUANT to the adoption of a feeling, state of mind or psychological condition hereinafter referred to as LOVE,but otherwise being of sound mind, and IN consideration of that state of amity and mutual affection which now subsists between us, I herby MAKE OFFER of engagement to enter into matrimony under the provisions of the Matrimonial Causes Act 2004, "
All he is trying to say is a simple "Will you marry me?"

Ehen if the babe na doctor make u use anatomy jargons take toast the babe.Make sure wen u dey toast the babe make u dey use all those big words from medical textbooks
If the babe na pilot dem use aeroneutic jargons toast the babe
If the babe na engineer den u go use engineering issues take trip the babe and let the babe know say u no dull at all(but take note most female engineers wowor)
If the babe na nurse den let the babe know say u sabi give injection as well
if the babe na fish seller den make u use agbero format take trip the babe
if the babe na ashi den u suppose know say any sort of discussion na waste of time becoz the only thing wey an ashi understand na the amount of money for ur pocket
if the babe na ajepako den use ajepako format for her
hope say this one go help

aspabay:

I no sabi grammer, girl i wan nail you with my hammer.

hahaha dude u got me crackn , ^

as a dope/rap guy,
babe na u dey high me, u got me screamn my head off lyk say da missn bullets dey 4 my body,
my love for you pass da flows of crack in my blood stream
if you are a cops guy I will lyk to get arrestd 7times a day
no stress lets hit da sheets and get it twisted
after the climax we cn get d organism into our blood stream, gettin high,

as a policeman, sweety ,can I check ur particulars cuz ur overloaded nature has attracted me to you.if all papers are complete . I don't mind showing you to my boss and thanking him for being part of this roadblock cuz I got what worths more dan 20 naira egunje.

As a Banker,

Baby firstly i will like to disburse into your account.In the near future, i will continue to deposit without withdrawal.

Hmmmmmmm. Still thinking.

Banker - Hello dearest Bimbo, may i pls deposit my anatomic cash into your system account? Dnt say No, else my ATM 'device' would become epileptic.

Lawyer - Sweetest Lara, just say Yes to my proposition and i bet i wont file any suit against you and your past crimes. I jus wana be the judge to always scrutinize your injunctions. Rubish

Everybody loves to be complimented.

Mechanical engr - Magaret, all my engines are knocked out. I need your totoools to bring them back in place.

Accountant - Dear Agness. You need to comprehend that my internal record drawings can not be balanced xcept i put my port folio on yours.

evantical:

as a policeman, sweety ,can I check your particulars cuz your overloaded nature has attracted me to you.if all papers are complete . I don't mind showing you to my boss and thanking him for being part of this roadblock cuz I got what worths more dan 20 naira egunje.

oh my. This thread will kill me today.