This youseless 190 thinks everything is a joke, man whereever u r, I don't think u have any serious thing doing otherwise u won't act this way.

luvtoyota:

NEVER BE DESPERATE
Leave Canada and come back to Abuja .

Huh

It is normal wen of age or all ur mates are married. But never right to rush into marriage.

@OP,

My elder bros is also igbo from anambra and he is also desperate to marry.

He is 32, an engineer, self employed and has 2 cars

He however is not planning on settling outside naija.

Do you think you need to meet him?

Please do not leave Canada and come to Nigeria; things are about to get real nasty here.

otokx:

Please do not leave Canada and come to Nigeria; things are about to get real nasty here.

Hey oga wetin consaiyn you for this one, u no wan make my broda marry canada babe.

Usual suspects , sexkills the thread prostitute .

Yorisb:

Huh

whispers "  Boko er haram "

@op: I'm desperate too. Can we collabo?

@topic

To most women it is. It is natural and biological to want to bare kids and social pressures state you are socially acceptable only if you have it in a stable and loving relationship. Marriage is used as a measure of that because it assumes it limits the possibility the man will leave you (i.e. stability and love). Most women feel this way due to biology, irrespective of society.

To most men, it is not. In the few cases that men are desperate and it is normal, it is due to social pressures. So it depends on the society for men to "normally" feel desperate to want to be married.

sexkillz:

While majority may frown and scorn at your seeming desperation, you are absolutely normal! Lemme say, desperately Normal! No two human is wired the same, if you doubt me, ask around and see if you share fingerprints with anyone els in this world! We are that unique! You feel this way because you are human, and it's a human desire to start a family. Add to that, you also value the institution called marriage! You are very positive!Very good, and very advisable too! Life is a stage! It's step by step. If you miss a step, you'll have to pay for it one way or another. Focusing on your education first was the way to go, but you are not through with schooling yet, so this pressure to be married, while natural, but it's really uncalled for! I mean the pressure! Remember, step by step! When your are done with school, the next step resurfaces! Dont be in a hurry to jump out of the frying pan and straight into the fire!Yes! Intellectual Maturity has no relations with age! A 23 year old could said to be more mature than a 40 year old.  Simply because of the may issues are tackled or handled by him/her! Naturally you'll want a family, but i'll like you to stop allowing happenings and sayings of people around to affect you, and make you feel that pressure the more! Why is your family constantly reminding you? Yes, they could be concerned, but constantly? NO NO! They wont live with the man would they? With these kind of pressures, you may end up getting married to the wrong man! And when you do, who's gonna bear the brunt? Who's gonna be there? Dont be surprised that in the case of eventual fallouts, these same family members would be the first to castigate you, for making a wrong choice! Pressure from family, pressure from seeing your friends get married, all these could make you frustrated and obviously distracted from your set objectives! Take a chill pill lady!
Marrying young doesnt mean happiness! Which would you prefer? Marrying young at age 24, and become sad in a few years, or marrying at 27 at live happily as a married woman? Life is not always about what we want! Allow your self to be past the time, when your hormones, emotions, thoughts, pressures etc, would be all behind you! So that you'd be in a better position, to make informed decisions!
It's hard because no man is perfect! You CANT have it all in a man! Forget the hype. Forget the movies! Forget the dreams! The perfect man simply does NOT exist! If you find a man that has 6 out of 10 qualities your future husband must have, pls, go for him, and try to help him work out the other 4! Love the imperfect man perfectly! Western Culture clouded our beliefs? What our? Would you jump off the bridge simply because i asked you to? The western culture DOESNT make decisions for you. . . It influences your decisions, so with that added influence, you may be cajoled to base the premise of your decisions on their culture! Dont be what? Dont be fooled by anyone! Do what's right and leave the rest! Who the hell says No one marries for the sake of love? You want to believe that? Cos the west said so? Yeah, right! The west also said i am free to marry animals! The west is what? The west isssssss DUMB! Be yourself. . . that's a step! Once you are your self, you floooow, and then. . . the next step!

Maturity comes with the ability to make wise decisions when needed! At first, those decisions may seem to be to your detriment, but in the long run? It always works out fine! Yes there are loads of people in your shoes! But they are also seeking for answers! I'd really suggest you continue mingling with people that are not within your age group! not because you feel mature to do so, or that it is the new cool, but because in the realistic sense of it, you tend to gain more knowledge from them! Especially the married ones! Ask them questions. Ask how they have managed to stick together as married couples. Trust me, your database of knowledge and information is sure to increase! Armed with such knowledge, you would clearly see desperation & pressures for what they really are: Distractions!
The right man would come. But what are you doing to make yourself the right woman for him? Love is not a one way street! it's double lane! And there's a kind of symbiosis attached to love! Improve your self, work on your flaws, keep advancing and keep making your advancement manifest! There is really no hurry in life! Everything is really vanity, and so is marriage too! Not saying it's not important, but dont let it be you main aim or goal, especially @ 23 years of age, and with the constant barrage of pressures from friends and relatives!

Dont allow desperation and pressures to be cloud your sense of reasoning! Do everything in the appointed time, put desires in the appointed place, and sit back, relax, put on your 3D glasses, and watch everything fall into place!. . .

Omo, I feel like I just attended a workshop or guest lecture or something, see speech,

You will soon find him.

@sexkillz you don finish the work oh tanks for the advice because i don benefit too oh

@op, it basically bores down to separating what u want from what u need, in a way,

@OP

1. Yes you are very normal.

2. Don't be desperate, Wait on God's time; if not, follow the steps below.

3. If your really want to meet a good naija guy, come to PHC. Na oil company guys, dem go spoil you, even get you back to canada with twins in your stomach ./ dont go to Abuja o, na Papa's and politicians full dia. Dem no follow at all.
or
4. Hammar those oyibo dem there for your small town,   use woman naija woman strength hold dem down, dem go propose fast.
or

5.turn to baby mama fast before age catch up with you. Start your own family if you no wan any of the above reasons.

I don talk my own finish

4.

nothing do you, but be careful of the social/societal pressure.

sexkillz. . . . .on point in most parts - but do you have to frigging blame the 'white man / west' for every conceived anomaly!!!?

It is normal to feel like this, but i will say when it comes to the issue of marriage, you have to be extra careful so that you will not rush in and rush out. This way, it becomes abnormal to be desperate. You will never know how lucky you are until you are married. It is an abnormal thing to enter into an ancient institution called marriage without contacting the creator of this institution. I mean the God of new beginning. The ancient of days. The i am that i am. The one who know the beginning and the ending. He is the one who can determine, how far you will go in life. You see, the heart of man is desperately wicked who can know it, so says the Bible. Do you know that you can marry your enemy? God forbid! God is the only one who can see what is hidden in the heart of men. Men may be smiling, but the intention is to kill. Men will pretend to be born again, but inwardly, that man, that is so caring today, will turn out to be ravenous wolf after marriage. Marriage is a serious affair. We have seen husband killing wife. Wife also run mad on the day of wedding. There are so many terrible cases of trouble marriage now in court. My sister, you need God's favour. Pray for what we call divine favour. Be nice to people. Show kindness. Humble yourself. Be a lover of the things that promote the kingdom of God. It shall be well with you. God bless you. God2man.

It is normal to desire to be married, but it is worrisome to be desperate to do so. Desperation often causes people to make unsound decisions, so I caution you not to be desperate but to be open and to prepare yourself to receive your future husband when you meet him. Overall, I commend your openly admitting that you are desperate to find a husband, as not many women are brazen enough to admit such.

Anything that is not HEALTHY isn't normal.

Are you desperate because of:

biological clock
friends are getting married
family pressure
lonely
societal pressure
anti-singleness
legal sex

There is nothing wrong with YOU wanting a husband, but if you are DESPERATE that is something ENTIRELY different. Marriage isn't something you want to get into lightly and marriage requires DEDICATED WORK and FAITH.

It is EASY TO GET MARRIED, but HARD FOR MANY TO STAY MARRIED. Interesting.

23 is not old.just a desirable age to get married.wen u hot 28-30 wahala don dey be that o!that stage is called the 6.30pm stage in a woman's life.at that point I u can't help not bin desperate.but for now,ur still within a spacious comfort zone.no worry urself.

Princek12:

It is normal to desire to be married, but it is worrisome to be desperate to do so. Desperation often causes people to make unsound decisions, so I caution you not to be desperate but to be open and to prepare yourself to receive your future husband when you meet him. Overall,  I commend your openly admitting that you are desperate to find a husband, as not many women are brazen enough to admit such.

I know it would be hard for you to believe, but NOT ALL WOMEN ARE DESPERATE.   The same thing for men who are desperate for wives and AREN'T WILLING to admit it.

Omo na turn by turn. . . Wait for your turn, uhm?

Problem in the west is "socializing". Parents are scared stiff when their over 20 babies either don't hang out at all or hang out with the wrong guys. It's not like in Nigeria where your search and contacts are wide. I doubt that any enlightened parent - and I suppose pple living in Canada are enlightened - will put pressure on a young lady of 23.

Western 'gospel' is that marriage is no longer necessary and that girls can perfectly stay on their own or become single Mums. No matter how plausible this reasoning may sound, most African parents don't quite agree. Hence they tend to remind their girls who have come of age of the "true gospel", that of marriage! . This behaviour from parents will certainly add to budding agitation of a young woman who equally have her preoccupations.

So it is normal and human to feel anxiety towards a union such as marriage, with all its expectations and problems including the right person with whom to do so.

All has been said op.

Now go and be desperate no more

sometimes d things u want desperately in life in comes after u take ur mind off it a little bit.concerntrate on other things.am sure u av dreams and aspirations cos after the joy n exitement of marriage,life must continue.use dis period to build urself to the kind of person u desire to be and trust me other things would fall in place.jst hide this feeling in a deep corner of ur heart.cos it might become obvious in ur body language and attract the wrong kind of pple who jst want to take u for a ride.and the most important thing to do is to PRAY cos u cant do it on ur own

Uptow girl 23yrs old. many many idols in u.a confortable man,a man that will meet ur criteria, hmmmm,any woman/man thats nt ready to sacrificies will never av a successful home, try to sound humble for enable ur heaven sent to come to u, anyway u av a gud feeling everybody feel the same,but marriage's nt for age is for maturity

@Poster

The gospel truth is that most naija guys in US and Canada dey avoid you naija gals like fluke, guymen don tear eye like moooost naija girls, I mean you staunch feminists born or living around here . You really have to consider going back to naija to find husband , or expand your options by being ready to marry a non Nigerian that comes your way.

Infact, I just dumped one of ur Sistas who have been disturbing me ( a 22 yr old Jolly Fellow ) with her marriage fantasies, whereas everything about her smells feminism feminism, equality in everything. Like you, she calls herself a christian woman, always try to use bible to manipulate a guyman like me   ,  but ferociously down plays  the part of bible that talks about women submitting to their husbands. She calls this part obsolete, that it doesn't apply to this 21st century.

I never know why most Nigerians guys living in my area dont have Nigerian girl friends, until i entered the river and got the answer.

Metalgoong:

@Poster

The gospel truth is that most naija guys in US and Canada dey avoid you naija gals like fluke, guymen don tear eye like moooost naija girls, I mean you staunch feminists born or living around here . You really have to consider going back to naija to find husband , or expand your options by being ready to marry a non Nigerian that comes your way.

Obviously because these guys are mixing with women of other backgrounds. On average, these other women are better than Naija gals.

Metalgoong:

Infact, I just dumped one of your Sistas who have been disturbing me ( a 22 yr old Jolly Fellow ) with her marriage fantasies, whereas everything about her smells feminism feminism, equality in everything. Like you, she calls herself a christian woman, always try to use bible to manipulate a guyman like me   ,  but ferociously down plays  the part of bible that talks about women submitting to their husbands. She calls this part obsolete, that it doesn't apply to this 21st century.

God punish her!

Well done. These are the kinds of cretins you need to avoid.

Just enjoy yourself and move on, mate!

Metalgoong:

I never know why most Nigerians guys living in my area dont have Nigerian girl friends, until i entered the river and got the answer.

70% (or more) of my friends don't have Nigerian girlfriends. And explicitly will tell you they are not interested in Nigerian women.

Majority of these guys are professional black men.

I recently became friends with a guy that just finished uni and has a job offer to start in an Investment Bank, we were at an event and I made a comment about a nice looking black girl, he looked at me, shook his head and politely said "I no dey look black women side". It really exemplified 70% of my friends.

Metalgoong:

@Poster
I never know why most Nigerians guys living in my area dont have Nigerian girl friends, until i entered the river and got the answer.

[size=18pt]*FAINTS*[/size]www.nairaland.com/attachments/378345_LMSAO_gifcc08743add65da1a3fab01ae874d7bfa

well my own case is different am d only child of my parent and they are realy disturbing to get married my mummy cries alot she y dont i want to make her happy my dad smae thing too he do tell me dat money is not d problem.but d problem is am still in 300level,am still very young 25years of age am ready but am just afraid to get my self into it cus marraige is not wat u can just jump into but my parent are gettin old and d hole family are beggin to just impregnate any girl and bring her home.