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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? (16811 Views)
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Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by chillbabe(f): 8:41pm On Dec 18, 2011 |
I mean dutch from holland married to a Nigerian and left my work,family and everything I had to settle with him in Nigeria and I always hear that statement want it pisses me of. |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by Sagamite(m): 8:46pm On Dec 18, 2011 |
chillbabe: Wow! No 1, who said white people don't marry out of love. That must be one of the dumbest statements I have heard in my life. If whites don't marry out of love then which race in the world does? No 2, I am not going to ask if you are enjoying Nigeria, are you baring it well? What city in Nigeria are you based in? |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by chillbabe(f): 8:53pm On Dec 18, 2011 |
One dumb ass made that statement in the early reply's and I hear it often here in Nigeria. Am based in Abuja and yeah I enjoy it,apart from the people who are trying to convince me from throwing my culture overboard and become a real Nigerian lol I think eating the food is good enough don't u think Sagamite |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by VEE2010(m): 8:56pm On Dec 18, 2011 |
really understood how you feel. just want you to take your time so that, some men would not take advantage of you. Also, it's good to understand that, you were uniquely created, your own divine time table can never be the same with your friends', One can only achieve a positive change that'll stand the taste of time if he/she is sincere with himself. However, implore you to act further by asking yourself questions like; "'m truly ready to settle down?, what are those attributes that may put up that can make my spouse clue to me? What do need to understand about "conflict resolution" in marriage? What are those qualities require of a man/woman? Do posses such qualities myself? just pray, the Lord would guide you because, marriage is like a "T" junction that determines man's destiny. When once you miss it, you miss all. Good luck! |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by nnemdi21: 9:04pm On Dec 18, 2011 |
to every one who gave me an honest response, thank u so much. i needed to hear that. and just to address some general point, when i said i was desperate, its just a feeling i have inside, it does not mean i go around showing the whole world my desperation, i only wanted to know if its normal to feel this way, cos i never feel desperate, i am a very confident woman. i am smart, beautiful, career minded, fit, an amazing cook{especially okazi and affang }, a lover of Jesus christ and above all i come from an amazing family, i'm not that insecure girl that needs a man to supply all my needs according to his riches in his bank account. even though he has to be very comfortable, when i say he has to be comfortable and career minded, i am not being selfish, he just has to be able to provide for the children he brings into the world, not for me. ALSO, when i say my family pressures me into finding a man, they are not forcing me into some arranged marriage crap my both parents are very educated and they are still pursing education even at their old age. their theory: they believe that anyone can achieve all their goals in life even if they have a husband. having a wife or a husband does and should not limit you. when i said western culture, i meant the rate of divorce; how women always want to act like the boss, and how most people dnt understand the value of family and marriage. call me stupid but i dnt believe in divorce. even though i want to achieve every educational height in this world, i still believe the man should be the head of the family. that how my bible says it should be. ALSO,i think if two people love themselves enough to commit to marriage, they should be able to back their union up with prayers, understanding, sacrifice and lots and lots of patience you just dnt meet some1 for two weeks and marry him/her. its just common self @ chillbabe, i have nothing to say to you, but remember this: AFRICAN WOMEN ALSO WORK VERY HARD FOR OUR FAMILY, AND WE PUT IN AS MUCH AS WE CAN FINANCIALLY TOWARDS THE FAMILY WELL BEING. THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US IS THIS : WE DON'T BRING OUR MEN DOWN AND MAKE THEM FEEL SMALL AND LESS A MAN. WE HELP THEM, SUPPORT THEM , LOVE THEM AND STILL LET THEM BE THE MAN. BUT HEY, YOU ARE ENTITLED TO YOUR OPINION, SO NO OFFENSE TAKEN. ALSO, TO ALL THOSE CRITICIZING THE FACT I SAID I AM A CHRISTIAN, GO AHEAD AND MAKE YOURSELVES HAPPY, THE FACT THAT I SAID I AM A CHRISTIAN DOES NOT MEAN I HAVE NEVER SINNED AGAINST GOD OR MADE MISTAKES IN MY LIFE. I JUST THINK YA'LL ARE IGNORANT SO I AM JUST GOING TO IGNORE YOU. |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by chillbabe(f): 9:21pm On Dec 18, 2011 |
At poster where in my post did I say that african women don't work hard? So are u saying we bring our men down don't respect them and don't support them? U must be kidding me. I didn't attack anybody in my post I only corrected a statement a poster made. And it seems I was right after all with your above statement. U know what surprises me why do Africans always go to our schools and want to life in the west if nothing about us is good? |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by steve112: 9:50pm On Dec 18, 2011 |
Nice one Nnemdi, you have said it all. im in toronto, which city are uÉ |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by tpia5: 10:18pm On Dec 18, 2011 |
Nnemdi list some of your weaknesses as well, not only your strengths. Not necessarily on this thread, but in your interactions with others- especially men who may be interested in you. Just a thought and not set in stone. |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by nnemdi21: 10:27pm On Dec 18, 2011 |
MR TPIA@ I DO HAVE MY WEAKNESS AS WELL, ONE OF THEM IS NOT "DESPERATION." MY RESPONSE WAS MADE TO THOSE PEOPLE WHO THOUGHT I PLAYED OUT MY DESPERATION TO MEN ON THE STREET. ITS HOW I FEEL INSIDE, I HAVE NOTHING TO BE DESPERATE ABOUT. BUT IN MY DEFENSE, I DO HAVE FAULTS, ALOT OF FAULTS ACTUALLY, EVERY1 DOES, AND WHEN I MEET MEN I DONT PRETEND TO BE WHO I AM NOT. I'M NOT THAT TYPICAL GIRL THAT STARTS OUT BY PLAYING THE "I AM A SHY GIRL GAME" AND THEN HER TRUE COLOUR COMES OUT EVENTUALLY I AM REAL TO A FAULT, I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO FAKE IT, BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY, I AM NOT SEARCHING FOR MR PERFECT, JUST SEARCHING FOR MR RIGHT. THNAKS ALL THE SAME. |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by tpia5: 10:41pm On Dec 18, 2011 |
^Cool. |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by emmastalwart(m): 10:59pm On Dec 18, 2011 |
Hi, please my dear i just want you to know that in life there is an END to every thing in life except change its selve, so also there is beginning. The only furtune and prudent tool you requared is patient and prayer. Remember he who is in a haste to reach his destination may end up not reaching his destination. Wait till the appointed time it will work for it self. emmastalwart@yahoo.com 08157642001 |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by Freesia(f): 11:07pm On Dec 18, 2011 |
Nnemdi21 you have received very good advice from many on this forum,Just remember God's time is best and remain prayerful about the man you want in your life. Metalgoong: Not necessarily true,It's not guaranteed that because you went back home to get a bride your marriage will be a solid one.Keep an open mind there are some African girls raised in the west who are just as respectful and good. Same way there are some wayward ones back home |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by steve112: 11:16pm On Dec 18, 2011 |
Nice one Nnemdi, you have said it all. i live in toronto, which city are u liveÉÉÉ |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by nnemdi21: 11:18pm On Dec 18, 2011 |
steve na wa ohh. ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by steve112: 11:25pm On Dec 18, 2011 |
im not kidding nnemdi, are u living in toronto tooÉ |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by nnemdi21: 11:34pm On Dec 18, 2011 |
no i'm not |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by youngalex(m): 11:42pm On Dec 18, 2011 |
U don't need to feel desperate,someday u will be so heavy(pregnant) that u will remember the day you were eager to join that club. searching for the exceptional guy;mail me:young.alex34@yahoo.co.uk |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by Freesia(f): 11:50pm On Dec 18, 2011 |
@ Nnemdi21 just wanted to know if your preferences have changed from the last time or will you make a choice that falls near what your parents expect from you for the sake of peace. Reason I ask is because just like you I was stuck with my own choice and what my parents wanted which were two different things |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by nnemdi21: 11:56pm On Dec 18, 2011 |
freesia, are u referring to the thread i made a while back? about yoruba vs igbo? jst wanted to be sure before i give u my honest response |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by claremont(m): 11:59pm On Dec 18, 2011 |
Goodluck in finding your "christian man". I do hope you are aware that religion has abdolutely no role to play in human relationships, that means that a christian man doesn't necessarily translate to decency, good morals e.t.c; it may well be the exact opposite. |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by pato405(m): 12:05am On Dec 19, 2011 |
bravedude:so weird that OP's post alone defines all he wants in a woman. one would expect any reader to understand from the tenor of her speech on this post that she wants a serious relationship and not to be taken advantage of. be that as it may, a few questions for OP: 1. You noted that you have been in a few relationships in the past, may I ask why you decided to quit (break up). perhaps one can start understanding your likes and turn-off's in a relationship 2. you talked about desiring a ''comfortable man'' - this is actually a relative term. what is your definition of a comfortable man? are you sure you have not set unrealistic standards/expectations from an ''ideal'' man for yourself? while one lady may be satisfied with a guy who earns $12,000 p/a, another may not be satisfied with a guy who earns $60,000 & she may be poised to turn him down if he proposes because she believes such a guy can never meet family needs with his stipend. 3. how socially amiable do you think you are? hope you socialise very well and wear a cheerful countenance? it sometimes draw people (particularly potential suitors) closer. in other words, do you snob others- particularly people you assume that they dont fall within your 'set standards' |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by Sagamite(m): 12:08am On Dec 19, 2011 |
chillbabe: Keep your culture, sweetie. Don't let any busybody, intrusive ediot tell you what you should be. Your only obligation is to respect the local people's right to express and engage in their culture. You owe no one the necessity to join in, if you don't want to. If you prefer all things Dutch to all things Nigerian, nothing wrong with that. It is your preference. |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by Sagamite(m): 12:15am On Dec 19, 2011 |
nnemdi21: See you. Dem dey try hit on you, you dey front. You dey shakara. Yeye girl. "No tosh me o" "Steve na wah o" "Why you wan know where live o" Na Shakara! You better start responding "right" to his enquiries. |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by nnemdi21: 1:00am On Dec 19, 2011 |
claremont, when i said i wanted a christian man i meant some1 who believes in the same faith as me. IS THERE ANYTHING bad in wanting to marry some1 WHO shares your religion, its just my personal choice. i am not looking for a "praise the LORD hallelujah kind of man" COS I KNOW THAT SO MANY MEN IN CHURCH ARE WOLFS IN SHEEP CLOTHING I AM NOT HUSBAND HUNTING FOR MEN IN CHURCH. IT DOES NOT MATTER WHERE I MEET HIM BUT HE HAS TO SHARE MY RELIGION AND FAITH, IT JUST MAKES IT EASIER WHEN WE ARE HAVING KIDS, SO WE BRING THEM UP UNDER ONE BELIEVE/RELIGION. I KNOW religion has nothing to do with relationshipS BUT IT MAKES IT EASIER TO KNOW THAT SOME1 SHARES IN YOUR FAITH. @SAGAMITE, LMAOO, I AM REALLY NOT DOING SHAKARA, I'M SURE STEVE IS AN AMAZING GUY , BUT, I JUST HAVE NEVER MET SOME1 ONLINE BEFORE, THE IDEA OF ONLINE DATING OR MEETING SOME1 ONLINE SCARES THE HELL OUT OF ME |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by steve112: 1:29am On Dec 19, 2011 |
@Sagamite, you are the best. @Nnemdi, well me too i dont really take this online relationship thing serious. you mentioned u are living in canada that was why i wanted to get to know you. |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by Sagamite(m): 1:42am On Dec 19, 2011 |
nnemdi21: And so? You think all or most of the humans beings on Earth that go online are psychos? No be people like you, me and steve that are online? I can speak for myself, I am very hot and any woman will desire me. I pretty sure steve is a good looking man too, but you will never know unless you at least get some initial contact. This is the world of technology. You can engage remotely (Instant messager, skype, bb etc), so what is the harm in chatting on the phone or camera? Abegi! Start initiating. Both of you put your emails on your profile. |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by steve112: 1:47am On Dec 19, 2011 |
na so @ mi broda Sagamite. at least no harm in trying, |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by Mayflowa(m): 1:48am On Dec 19, 2011 |
sagamanta! you are the man! Nnemdi, I believe Steve is cool too! Get to know him. |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by chika98: 1:58am On Dec 19, 2011 |
Sagamite: Buahahahahahahaahaaa really? |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by Sagamite(m): 2:04am On Dec 19, 2011 |
chika98: I swear! [flash=400,350] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjQMzW4KaaQ[/flash] |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by chika98: 2:05am On Dec 19, 2011 |
Sagamite: Good for you |
Re: Desperate To Find A Husband,is It Normal To Feel This Way? by nnemdi21: 2:06am On Dec 19, 2011 |
CHAI SAGAMITE, U MAKE ME LOOK SO BAD , BUT U ARE RIGHT THO STEVE DNT WORRY, I WILL EMAIL U |
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