sexkillz:

To them, "Independence" Means coming home to your husbands house late, and husband asking them "baby, how was your day?". . . Smh!
Thank God Naija women don get sense! With all the ritualists and "ogwu ego" miscreants, patrolling at night! Bro, to confirm my statement, just check all the answers on this thread, that supports women coming home late. . . NONE of those in support lives in Nigeria!

pendo89:

excuse me?? see your reasons for not allowing her to come in late.
And by the way how late is late cz the op dint specify. If my hubby drives in late I wouldn't care as long as he doesn't come in smelling female fragrance or drunk.He ought to have a genuine reason and that I got no probs with at all. Besides I don't think it ought to be a daily affair unless its his nature of work.
There are several reasons that may keep a partner out late at night. You cannot be too controlling because for heavens sake,do those ritualists work only at night? What about the rapists? and what abt the cheating hubby/wife? with all the hotels and lodgings offering day rates?
I know, I know ul say the chances of all that happening at night are high.Security matters but you cant monitor a partners movements 24/7.
There are things that would raise suspicion if he keeps coming late eg,no intimate urge,no appetite, not interested in talking,smelling strange fragrance,avoiding eye contact etc

sexkillz:

What are the several reasons that'll make my wife come home late at night? Mind you, we live close to her place of work?
If your husband comes home late and you dont care, it means you dont value your marriage! So any male that has been with a female should smell of fragrance? Chei!
Who's talking about controlling a partner here? Did i also control her throughout the day?

If you'll be permissive about the way your marriage mate lives his life, that's your own what? Your own cup of coffee! It is out of love that i will not tolerate my wife coming home late! I cant bear anything happening to her because of a st[i]u[/i]pid job!. . . We live in a wicked world! Preventing situations is far easier and more economical than proffering and applying a solution! I wont allow a car hit me before i know i could get injured!

pendo89:

first allow me to laugh at the way you reply.Its humorous.
But look here sexkillz you are talking about your wife while am talking about hubby.

Blame the poster for not specifying!

Now we all know its unusual for a wife to walk in late as compared to the man. No married woman wants to walk in late cz shes got chores to do and kids to look after ie if they got some. Fyi married women start planning what they will do before they get home so u can see how eager they are to get home fast.

But lets say she works nearby and her job is a security one in nature.You know those people who are always the last to leave the office? (dont say its only men who do such cz a job is a job and we all know jobs dont come that easy). After ensuring the whole place is locked up, cctvs are working well,she gets held up in traffic,she passes by some shop to buy a thing or two and ends up home at 8.Is that late for you? Will u still move right behind the office compound?

Late to me is from 9:30! And what if it's not a security job?

What if there are no nearby affordable houses for you? What if you got kids in school and u need to factor in their transport as well? would u rather your kids arrive late cz u live a 1000 miles from their school? Or will u also move your kids to a school near your wife's place of work??
Are u telling me that your wife's job will always determine your moving house if she comes in late with genuine work related reasons
You talk about moving house like its a simple decision to make. Suppose you move today and she loses her job the following week?

Sexkillz reality is different from fantasy.
Now my hubby coming in late doesn't mean I don't care.It means I need to understand why he comes in late and not judge him unless he gives me reason to and the reasons I outlined up there.

And how do you understand why he comes in late if you dont ask? In your first response earlier you said "I wouldn't care as long as he doesn't come in smelling female fragrance or drunk." So i'm guessing you'll just sniff the air, and then when you dont perceive fragrances or alcohol, everything is fine? Chei! Or would you ask? What if it becomes a habit, and it's not work related and he doesnt smell of fragrance and alcohol, would you still worry? There's nothing like judging! This is your lawfully wedded husband. You have irrevocable rights to know where the bloody hell he is coming from so late at night, and you should be concerned about it!

Some things in marriage need a lot of understanding and maturity because you may end up fueling the very thing you assume you are preventing.

Some things in marriage, but coming home late everyday because your wife will only care when you smell of fragrances and alcohol is definitely NOT one of them!

pendo89:

Look here killz unless its a job he has no excuse coming in late every other day. For heavens sake the marriage will start dying a slow death.

Now you are talking! But what if it is catching up with friends and responsible freedom and errm, oh clubbing(remember?) is that an excuse too?

If its a job people work around it and create time for each other to make up for lost time.They dont quit or move house all the time esp if they are only but employees.

What time is there to create? It's not as if the economy is getting better! Unless the job is more valuable to them than their togetherness, then yes! Continue in the same routine! But if the job is creating a catastrophic obstacle that could invariably be detrimental to them as a couple or worse, as a family with kids, and they "value" their family life, then they should consider moving house, else, fcck the job!

By the way a job is not only about income but satisfaction. Which educated wife wants to sit on her degrees/master and wait for u to bring food everyday if she's fit and healthy to do the same?

You think it would be easy convincing her to quit her job cz u love her?? 

Ok he doesn't need to smell fragrance. I used that cz men are not good at hiding.

What a fallacy!

I also don't like men who come home at 5 on the dot! doesn't he have friends to catch up with or a life outside the home? Gosh I want my man to have some responsible freedom. Thats being man.

Yeah! When he does it to the 10^th degree, choosing his friends and responsible freedom over you, his wife, then you'll understand! For now, love still dey shack you!!

Sexkillz u know we can last here a whole day so I give up.

You are more theoretical than practical.

I'm not the one that'll allow my husband freedom to do whatever! Neither am i the one that'll allow my husband come home anytime he likes because he is having a good time with friends! That's only found in movies!
I am telling you what families have been doing to save their marriages and their families!
Na you be the theory Mama!

Idowuogbo:

Na wa dis na real protest, dem no go gree o dem no gree

Pendomania I was routing for u

sexkillz:

I'm not the one that'll allow my husband freedom to do whatever! Neither am i the one that'll allow my husband come home anytime he likes because he is having a good time with friends! That's only found in movies!
I am telling you what families have been doing to save their marriages and their families!
Na you be the theory Mama!

There's a way you irritate.
So you coming home early is enough to save your marriage??

It's future wives like you that'll tolerate bullshit and misguide other ladies other ladies into thinking bullshit is acceptable!
Which is more preferable, in terms of safety, creating time for the family and ETC? #Coming home early or #Coming home late?
When a man is married, he should realize that he has left the "single" status, and cannot choose to come home whenever he likes even if his wife approves of it!

killz if my hubby walks in late and he's a good man I wouldnt care. But if he comes home early to sit on the couch ,watch TV and grow belly then Lord have mercy.

It is theoretical attitudes like yours that makes a good man cheat on his wife because he knows she trusts him and doesn't care! So a good man doesnt go bad? Yeah right! So what happens when your "good man" husband goes bad? Is once good, always good? How would you find out? since he is not smelling of female fragrances or alcohol?

Mr, Cork:

One of my Girl friends work nights. She is a medical Nurse. Big Deal!

[b]Ode[/b]chukwu [b]Reta[i]r[/i]d[/b]een, read the topic again! If she works nights, she comes home in the morning, and not late at night!. . . Chewpid boy!

sexkillz:

Dont come home late is best for my Marriage! And i'll advocate it ferociously. . . With reasons!

Mynd_44:

Missing a shoe? LMFAO

sexkillz:

It's future wives like you that'll tolerate bullshit and misguide other ladies other ladies into thinking bullshit is acceptable!
Which is more preferable, in terms of safety, creating time for the family and ETC? #Coming home early or #Coming home late?
When a man is married, he should realize that he has left the "single" status, and cannot choose to come home whenever he likes even if his wife approves of it!It is theoretical attitudes like yours that makes a good man cheat on his wife because he knows she trusts him and doesn't care! So a good man doesnt go bad? Yeah right! So what happens when your "good man" husband  goes bad? Is once good, always good? How would you find out? since he is not smelling of female fragrances or alcohol?

pendo89:

Really?? So if I show trust and he knows it that will reduce his chances of cheating?? Don't you think the reverse is more likely to happen??
Trust = reduced cheating??
I don't mind = more cheating??

are u for real? He can go bad regardless of the time he arrives home!!! What makes a bad guy/lady has nothing to do with home arrival time or HAT!!

Have you ever heard of suffocating love? You may think you are practising love while in essence you are suffocating your partner.
The reason I said you are full of theory.You believe Love is flawless and that you have the power to protect and save. Well be be prepared for any eventualities. People like u end up doing crazy things becz the believe nothing can and should go wrong since they put all necessary measures in place to safeguard their relationship only to be disappointed.

People in love give each other freedom,they risk,they trust their partners enough and at the same time realise they are humans capable of falling.
They  do not try to Father or Mother each other,
Love doesnt make rush decisions.Its understanding and tolerant.
[size=44pt]Marriage is not a dating game.
[/size]

Idowuogbo:

^LMAO u shud have used Nneka as d galfriends name

Anyways u guys easy on my soil bruda jare,He's africanised to d core but his british accent is d cover up .Kai kilzzz bite chima she don damage dere

LWkkkkmddd missing ko-shoe oooo

pendo89:

sexkillz needs to sit under some old married men to get tips on reality. Life is not a theory and not all theory works in marriage.
Things are dealt with as they come and at times the word love is never mentioned.

pendo89:

@ chima
See thats exactly what am talking about.
Theory will make us believe it was due to nagging and spying.Well they provoked the feelings of revenge but even then, he had the power to control but he went ahead with revenge to make himself feel better.

Truth be told when somebody cheats he always had the thought in mind,just waiting for an opportune moment to manifest itself.
The thought behaves like an animal with antenna. The antennas keep sensing the wrongs and feeding the thought till the ripe time when the body responds.

You cannot stop a bird from flying over your head but you can stop it from laying eggs