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I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? - Romance (4) - Nairaland

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Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by DeepZone: 3:59am On Jul 24, 2008
Na that one me I wan know.
How come the husband"pains her" and the lover pleasures her
Is he XXXL ?

For a LovePeddler is a deep pit And an adulterous woman is a narrow well.---proverbs 23:27
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by HCH3COO: 3:59am On Jul 24, 2008
DeepZone:



Didn't i also say that i'm not against confession as long as the physical and mental properties in her home remains ideal. Duh undecided undecided undecided
But then you turned around and tried to rationalize her conealing the information from him because he hasn't suspected her.  When did suspicion become the only solitary reason to maintain marital honesty?
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by HCH3COO: 4:00am On Jul 24, 2008
DeepZone:

For a LovePeddler is a deep pit And an adulterous woman is a narrow well.---proverbs 23:27


You can preach from dusk till dawn, you will not turn back the hands of time or undo what has happened.
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by DeepZone: 4:00am On Jul 24, 2008
Why can't we have constant electricity in Nigeria
Roflmao; God fired Nigeria after Shagari. grin grin grin grin grin grin
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by KarmaMod(f): 4:01am On Jul 24, 2008
Queenisha:

Na that one me I wan know.
How come the husband"pains her" and the lover pleasures her
Is he XXXL ? lipsrsealed

maybe he's romantic?

I think some guys are so naive that they believe what works on one woman "should" work on others. Perhaps he's not considering what she likes or maybe there are just no sexual sparks between them

She made this thread twice and there's a part where she says she's fine walking around with him, holding hands, going out to places but when it gets to the bedroom, she doenst feel anything

It's a sad situation.
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by Orimili(m): 4:04am On Jul 24, 2008
Queenisha:

Why can't we have constant electricity in Nigeria. undecided

Because the administration governing energy, as well as the federal government, sucks. Badly. But that has nothing to do with this particular situation. It makes no sense for the two to stay together, knowing that she will never get the satisfaction that a wife should get from a husband. Her husband will continue sleeping around. The marriage is not going to work in this state, and you all are saying that it will certainly fail if she confesses. I say confess and clear your conscience. You never know what may come of it, and it just might be a step forward for possible reconciliation.
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by HCH3COO: 4:05am On Jul 24, 2008
Queenisha:

What effort is he making to have her enjoy intimate times with him?
How do we know he's not making the efforts to help her enjoy intimate times with her? Isn't the voicemail a sort of hint that he can perform?
Didn't you hear her say the man has a weapon of destruction ?
This girl is not made of wood,or is she?
This is more reason why she should clear her conscience and speak the koko.

I'm not excusing her cheating but clearly she's not getting it at home and it desn't look like he's concerned about that.
She cheated once (she says), it's only amatter of time and she'll have her undercover lover on a regular basis,he already has his.
na today?
She's getting it at home but if her mind prevents her from enjoying the intimacy, there isn't much to correct until she fixes her mind.
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by DeepZone: 4:06am On Jul 24, 2008
maybe he's romantic?

I think some guys are so naive that they believe what works on one woman "should" work on others. Perhaps he's not considering what she likes or maybe there are just no[b] sexual sparks[/b] between them

She made this thread twice and there's a part where she says she's fine walking around with him, holding hands, going out to places but when it gets to the bedroom, she doenst feel anything

It's a sad situation.

And Bisi didn't know all these things before she married him after all she's dated both of them. No sexual sparks? How come Nepa suddenly brought light with her EX that never slept with her before and took light with her present husband that violated her as a spinster? Change of transformer? This NEPA and their sparks sef undecided undecided undecided
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by HCH3COO: 4:08am On Jul 24, 2008
KarmaMod:

maybe he's romantic?

I think some guys are so naive that they believe what works on one woman "should" work on others. Perhaps he's not considering what she likes or maybe there are just no sexual sparks between them
Or there's a psychological barrier preventing her from enjoying intercourse with her husband. This is most likely another reason she chose to test the waters with her ex.
She was fucking this man before she married him but it took until marriage to realize that she doesn't enjoy his penis?
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by Queenisha: 4:10am On Jul 24, 2008
KarmaMod:

maybe he's romantic?

I think some guys are so naive that they believe what works on one woman "should" work on others. Perhaps he's not considering what she likes or maybe there are just no sexual sparks between them

She made this thread twice and there's a part where she says she's fine walking around with him, holding hands, going out to places but when it gets to the bedroom, she doenst feel anything

It's a sad situation.

You see why I say a woman should have the courage to walk out during the engagement/courtship if she's not feeling the man anymore.
This girl would have saved herself all this headache by not letting people beg and convince her despite her inner feelings.
The way she desribes the man disvirgining her, it's almost as if it was done against her will.
Perhaps she never forgave him for it.
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by KarmaMod(f): 4:10am On Jul 24, 2008
violated her? Um what?

Did you read the part where she wanted out of the marriage? How ever since he accused her of infidelity (obviously to cover up his own misdoings), her feelings for him decreased

Shame she bothered getting married to him when she knew things had eventually changed since that incident
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by KarmaMod(f): 4:11am On Jul 24, 2008
Queenisha:

You see why I say a woman should have the courage to walk out during the engagement/courtship if she's not feeling the man anymore.
This girl would have saved herself all this headache by not letting people beg and convince her despite her inner feelings.
The way she desribes the man disvirgining her, it's almost as if it was done against her will.
Perhaps she never forgave him for it.

I agree. Where are these people who begged her to stay in the reloationship?

Are there around to help her out now? No

Such nonsense
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by Queenisha: 4:12am On Jul 24, 2008
HCH3COO:

How do we know he's not making the efforts to help her enjoy intimate times with her? Isn't the voicemail a sort of hint that he can perform?This is more reason why she should clear her conscience and speak the koko.
She's getting it at home but if her mind prevents her from enjoying the intimacy, there isn't much to correct until she fixes her mind.


The husband cheated and has been cheating continuosly till date.
He may even be cheating as Im writing this post
She slipped once
Who is the more guilty party here.
Abeg cut this girl some slack.
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by KarmaMod(f): 4:14am On Jul 24, 2008
HCH3COO:

She was fucking this man before she married him but it took until marriage to realize that she doesn't enjoy his privates?

Re read how she even described the sexual relationship she had when he was just her fiance. Didnt sound great to me.
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by Nobody: 4:15am On Jul 24, 2008
Confess to the man jor.
He has a right to know.
Now what happens after telling him is your own wahala
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by KarmaMod(f): 4:15am On Jul 24, 2008
HCH3COO:

How do we know he's not making the efforts to help her enjoy intimate times with her? Isn't the voicemail a sort of hint that he can perform?


I think some guys are so naive that they believe what works on one woman "should" work on others
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by HCH3COO: 4:16am On Jul 24, 2008
Ruby_Pearl:

Confess to the man jor.
He has a right to know.
Now what happens after telling him is your own wahala


I agree, but whatever.
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by Queenisha: 4:16am On Jul 24, 2008
KarmaMod:

I agree. Where are these people who begged her to stay in the reloationship?

Are there around to help her out now? No

Such nonsense

Of course they're now in their homes.
The wedding ceremony is long gone and everyone has worn their asho ebi
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by Nobody: 4:18am On Jul 24, 2008
I agree, but whatever.
*sigh* you and your wahala sha.
what is whatever now?
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by HCH3COO: 4:19am On Jul 24, 2008
KarmaMod:


I understand this TOH, but that's purely speculative.  Can we be sure they're not trying all the positions in the book?  Even if they have tried all the positions, her fears and guilt could hinder her satisfaction.

Hope she comes back to more info.


Ruby_Pearl:

*sigh* you and your wahala sha.
what is whatever now?
Don't worry o. just ignore what i said.
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by KarmaMod(f): 4:32am On Jul 24, 2008
HCH3COO:

I understand this TOH, but that's purely speculative. Can we be sure they're not trying all the positions in the book? Even if they have tried all the positions, her fears and guilt could hinder her satisfaction.

Hope she comes back to more info.

She said she wanst enjoying sex even as far as feeling "pain" BEFORE she heard the voicemail and went on her revenge

What do you have to say about that?
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by HCH3COO: 4:34am On Jul 24, 2008
then i'll say: why did you marry him
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by KarmaMod(f): 4:36am On Jul 24, 2008
cos she realise all this after marriage? after the busybody family begged her to marry?
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by HCH3COO: 4:53am On Jul 24, 2008
maybe she realised she was attached to the man who popped her cherry?
maybe she felt like she had to take him back after all the apologies?
it was all her choice to make, she made that choice.

by the way

When we got married i realised i never enjoyed sex it is always pain and i tried to see if something was wrong with me, i tried to forgive him and free my mind and yet i still never enjoyed it.
LOL
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by Gabry(f): 5:31am On Jul 24, 2008
you cheat on him, he cheat on you, Its done and settled fair and square so dont tell him.

Uhm. . . . To be honest with you, if my man is not doing sex the way I would like him to do it, I would instruct him how to do it and if he instruct me how to do it on him, I shall give it to him but hey! what do I know, I havent done it yet but I think thats the best way to improve your sex life. Or maybe you both should be a little more adventerous. Discuss with him on a role play for sex like maybe he becomes the doctor and you become the nurse or he becomes the teacher, you become the student and . . . . Gosh! You know what I mean. . . . undecided
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by ojubi(m): 6:22am On Jul 24, 2008
try to ve verbal expresion of sex with your husband b/4 going into the act. tell him ur likes and dislikes of sex, try to adopt other sex methods like standing, bathroom sex etc. change your possition in bed and try to talk during sex. pls dont tell him u cheated on him, i would not like to see ur mariage brake. ve a blissful luv life
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by OKbobo: 9:34am On Jul 24, 2008
Hi
I am a guy and i can tell u that it is only a wimp or an exceptional man who can forgive his wife for cheating on him, no matter how many times he has done so. This might not be fair, but that is the way it is.
I think you need to ask God for forgiveness for this act and also forgive yourself.
I also think that your sexual problems with you husband could be as a result of one or both of the following:
1. You never really forgave him for the false accusations he made when you were dating. Thefore, you are unable to be vulnerable with him (which is needed to enjoy sex) - 'they were naked but not ashamed'.
2. He does not spend enough time on pre-intimacy or is not gentle in pre-intimacy or is not attentive enough to identify YOUR erogenous zones during pre-intimacy.
Sista! you also need to forgive him for the false accusations and also for the affairs.
Then you need to let him know that you are not getting 'enough' - not because is inadequate or inexperienced or because you are rigid but because you are both getting your wires crossed.
Please don't 'grin and bear it'. from what I have come to realise, for us men sex is fun but for women if done right is not only fun but enhances there psychological well being. I am not saying this to patronise you.
Finally, there are may predators out there who can detect a woman whose is in this state and prey on her.
don't be a victim again, at another man's choosing.
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by albridge(m): 10:14am On Jul 24, 2008
ask God to forgive you then ask him to direct you. as for me, i am confused undecided
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by zheroes(m): 10:42am On Jul 24, 2008
na wa o
all these cheating people on nairaland and their advisers.

Well my advise will be to confront him about that voice mail from his mistress and gather all evidence needed to prove your point and after he admits it, you release your own bomb shell so you can both start the healing process.
I believe in honesty,without that,the marriage is just a sham.

my opinion

if a man tells a woman he cheated on her, she may very likely forgive and overtime forget if he is genuine, its not in a man, i mean a real man to accept back a wife that cheated on him, have you not seen some people even divorcing their wives on the ground that she was raped!! i have seen.

personally i wont advocate such but, make yourself believe it never happened and move ahead, but if you are convinced you can afford to shatter your marriage then speedily go ahead and tell him.
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by rampant(f): 12:43pm On Jul 24, 2008
davidylan:

whether we are married or not does not remove the fact that u're a disgraceful cheat.

uve said it all sweetheart kiss
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by biggy08(f): 12:57pm On Jul 24, 2008
Sis u have two options either follow okbobo's advise i.e

I am a guy and i can tell u that it is only a wimp or an exceptional man who can forgive his wife for cheating on him, no matter how many times he has done so. This might not be fair, but that is the way it is.
I think you need to ask God for forgiveness for this act and also forgive yourself.
I also think that your sexual problems with you husband could be as a result of one or both of the following:
1. You never really forgave him for the false accusations he made when you were dating. Thefore, you are unable to be vulnerable with him (which is needed to enjoy sex) - 'they were naked but not ashamed'.
2. He does not spend enough time on pre-intimacy or is not gentle in pre-intimacy or is not attentive enough to identify YOUR erogenous zones during pre-intimacy.
Sista! you also need to forgive him for the false accusations and also for the affairs.
Then you need to let him know that you are not getting 'enough' - not because is inadequate or inexperienced or because you are rigid but because you are both getting your wires crossed.
Please don't 'grin and bear it'. from what I have come to realise, for us men sex is fun but for women if done right is not only fun but enhances there psychological well being. I am not saying this to patronise you.
Finally, there are may predators out there who can detect a woman whose is in this state and prey on her.
don't be a victim again, at another man's choosing.

or option number two confess and free yourself from guilt and be prepared to leave coz he might not accept you coz thats african man for u.
Re: I Cheated On My Husband, I Feel Guilty; Can I Confess To Him? by princessk1: 2:46pm On Jul 24, 2008
she is probably divorced by now. angry

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