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How Do You End An 8 Years Old Relationship? - Romance (3) - Nairaland

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Re: How Do You End An 8 Years Old Relationship? by Mikael4(m): 9:39pm On Jan 27, 2012
This is what happens when you date for that long without marrying! It's no use going further with the Marriage, he'll NEVER be happy in it! I think he must have noticed something on one of his visits to her in camp, the trust he has for her certainly waned!
Re: How Do You End An 8 Years Old Relationship? by Sagamite(m): 9:41pm On Jan 27, 2012
~Mikael~:

This is what happens when you date for that long without marrying! It's no use going further with the Marriage, he'll NEVER be happy in it! I think he must have noticed something on one of his visits to her in camp, the trust he has for her certainly waned!

So marriage will make you more attracted?

MeGaStReEt:

After you don finish all the sweet sweet things wey dey inside finish, na who you wan con leave kanda for? Guy finish wetin you start jorrrr. You don dey sweep that garage for 8 years, only you. E don reach time wey u go pack enter, no run.

Go to court.
Re: How Do You End An 8 Years Old Relationship? by Nobody: 9:51pm On Jan 27, 2012
I will not waste my time with such a fool.
Re: How Do You End An 8 Years Old Relationship? by Mikael4(m): 9:57pm On Jan 27, 2012
Sagamite:

So marriage will make you more attracted?

I never used the word attracted! I rather meant it's pointless dating for that long!
Re: How Do You End An 8 Years Old Relationship? by Sagamite(m): 10:00pm On Jan 27, 2012
~Mikael~:

I never used the word attracted! I rather meant it's pointless dating for that long!

What I asking you to clarify is the apparent suggestion you made that marriage is a panacea for loss of attraction after a long relationship.

You seem to suggest that he would not have lost attraction if they were married. That it is because they were merely in a long term courtship is why the loss of attraction was possible.
Re: How Do You End An 8 Years Old Relationship? by Mikael4(m): 10:17pm On Jan 27, 2012
Affinity between dating couples and married couples is not the same. Marriage takes it to a whole new level. Married couples are closer to each other than mere dating couples, so i personally would not expect the level of attraction to remain the same! Except they were not that into each other before they got married!
Re: How Do You End An 8 Years Old Relationship? by Sagamite(m): 10:31pm On Jan 27, 2012
~Mikael~:

Affinity between dating couples and married couples is not the same. Marriage takes it to a whole new level. Married couples are closer to each other than mere dating couples, so i personally would not expect the level of attraction to remain the same! Except they were not that into each other before they got married!

You have any proof for this, or is it just a mere conjecture?

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Re: How Do You End An 8 Years Old Relationship? by Mikael4(m): 10:39pm On Jan 27, 2012
Do i need a proof for "What i think?" Do you need a proof for "everything?"
Re: How Do You End An 8 Years Old Relationship? by Sagamite(m): 10:44pm On Jan 27, 2012
~Mikael~:

Do i need a proof for "What i think?" Do you need a proof for "everything?"

What you think is out of order from the facts on the ground.

The main reason a lot of men are not leaving marriages is the fear of emotional blackmail, the tedious separating process and the domestic dependencies. You need to open your eyes in the same Nigeria to the amount of men playing away from home.

Only very, very few get "closer".
Re: How Do You End An 8 Years Old Relationship? by Mikael4(m): 10:57pm On Jan 27, 2012
Sagamite:

What you think is out of order from the facts on the ground.

The main reason a lot of men are not leaving marriages is the fear of emotional blackmail, the tedious separating process and the domestic dependencies. You need to open your eyes in the same Nigeria to the amount of men playing away from home.

Only very, very few get "closer".
I agree with the reasons you gave, but every marriage and every circumstance surrounding marriage and the eventual fallout(if there is) is not always the same! Very very few get closer like you said, and i like to think that those few are the ones that really committed themselves into making it work, irrespective of the fear of emotional blackmail and all that!
Re: How Do You End An 8 Years Old Relationship? by Nobody: 11:06pm On Jan 27, 2012
~Mikael~:

Affinity between dating couples and married couples is not the same. Marriage takes it to a whole new level. Married couples are closer to each other than mere dating couples, so i personally would not expect the level of attraction to remain the same! Except they were not that into each other before they got married!

This can be so far from the truth sometimes.Married couples daily lives can be more intertwined, but often they are less close on a personal level than before. Depends what you mean by " closer" I suppose. Or you could even say people who are close dont necessarily stay attracted to each other.
Re: How Do You End An 8 Years Old Relationship? by eghost247(m): 11:11pm On Jan 27, 2012
she has turned boring that's why he is like this
Re: How Do You End An 8 Years Old Relationship? by Sagamite(m): 11:14pm On Jan 27, 2012
~Mikael~:

I agree with the reasons you gave, but every marriage and every circumstance surrounding marriage and the eventual fallout(if there is) is not always the same! Very very few get closer like you said, and i like to think that those few are the ones that really committed themselves into making it work, irrespective of the fear of emotional blackmail and all that!

You are right.

If the guy does not feel he would be happy with her, he should close case and move on.

Believe me, that is exactly what she would do if she feels the same. All that 8 years blah blah blah would not matter. She would find her happiness and not look back.

She is most likely not going to even perform any of the "rules" a lot of people are stating on this thread. She would not sit him down and say she wants to end it. You think women have such decency to take the guilt of ending a relationship by communicating maturely?

She would look for an alternative suitor, a nice back up, and then she would most likely start behaving irrationally and inconsiderately to create arguments. She would act so bad and disrespectfully, so he would have no option but to dump her. So she can now say (innocently), he was the one that ended it, not her but she is happy to move on.

And if he does not take the action, then she would move to Plan B: She will end it by saying they are "arguing too much and not compatible".

Then wait 4 months or so before she says she has a new man. The same one she has been communicating with when she was with her 8 year boyfriend.

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Re: How Do You End An 8 Years Old Relationship? by Enice(m): 11:35pm On Jan 27, 2012
it is not easy for a girl to stick with a jobless guy for 8years. likewise, it is not easy for a guy to hold on to a girl for 8years. the guy even attempted to marry her last year. my take is that they love each other but your guy needs to see a guidance counsellor. my advise to your friend is that he should think twice. in this day and age when jobs are no longer secure, he should hold on to those that where his friends during his time of need, because guys like that are scarce. women are plentiful everywhere especially when there is money. but the good ones are scarce. let him not be like those that do not value what they have until they loose it.
Re: How Do You End An 8 Years Old Relationship? by Mikael4(m): 11:36pm On Jan 27, 2012
She is most likely not going to even perform any of the "rules" a lot of people are stating on this thread. She would not sit him down and say she wants to end it. You think women have such decency to take the guilt of ending a relationship by communicating maturely?

She would look for an alternative suitor, a nice back up, and then she would most likely start behaving irrationally and inconsiderately to create arguments. She would act so bad and disrespectfully, so he would have no option but to dump her. So she can now say (innocently), he was the one that ended it, not her but she is happy to move on.

And if he does not take the action, then she would move to Plan B: End it by saying they are "arguing too much and not compatible".

Then wait 4 months or so before she says she has a new man. The same one she has been communicating with when she was with her 8 year boyfriend.
Funny enough this is 100 percent accurate! It happened to me! She did not want to feel as if she was dumped, so i let her play the "arguing too much and not compatible song". . . She fell for it! grin grin
Re: How Do You End An 8 Years Old Relationship? by Mikael4(m): 11:42pm On Jan 27, 2012
talina:

This can be so far from the truth sometimes.Married couples daily lives can be more intertwined, but often they are less close on a personal level than before. Depends what you mean by " closer" I suppose. Or you could even say people who are close dont necessarily stay attracted to each other.
By closer, i meant emotionally closer. But that's of course if they both are committed to getting closer to each other, cos like you said intertwining of daily activities can sap them out, .
Re: How Do You End An 8 Years Old Relationship? by Nobody: 11:47pm On Jan 27, 2012
^^^ Its what we all would like or expect to happen when married.
Re: How Do You End An 8 Years Old Relationship? by Excelboi(m): 11:51pm On Jan 27, 2012
8yrs? dat wnt be easy. kai, i pity d poor lady!
Re: How Do You End An 8 Years Old Relationship? by Mikael4(m): 11:53pm On Jan 27, 2012
talina:

^^^ Its what we all would like or expect to happen when married.
Sure. . . Requires effort you know!
Re: How Do You End An 8 Years Old Relationship? by pendo89(f): 12:35am On Jan 28, 2012
This is what happens when a relationship is built on nothing but sex sex and more sex.
For heavens sake what does he mean by they have nothing in common for 8 years?
What have they been talking about? what a boring sex only relationship.

Its good hes leaving after all sex is not the only ingredient in a relationship so let them find their matches
Re: How Do You End An 8 Years Old Relationship? by Nobody: 2:58am On Jan 28, 2012
Dating for 8 years?

Kai!! Mogbe!! shocked God forbid!

How more "dated" can the relationship be?
Re: How Do You End An 8 Years Old Relationship? by Mynd44: 3:22am On Jan 28, 2012
Dated foe 8 years? Shocking
Re: How Do You End An 8 Years Old Relationship? by MOM1(m): 5:10am On Jan 28, 2012
Hmmmmmm, Within the 8yrs was there any abortion as well, Just asking, MAY GOD DELIVER US FROM TIME WASTERS OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Re: How Do You End An 8 Years Old Relationship? by Mynd44: 5:49am On Jan 28, 2012
More like life waiters
Re: How Do You End An 8 Years Old Relationship? by osundu(m): 6:39am On Jan 28, 2012
Guy,just tell ur friend 2 reduce bleeping and talk more with her.let them go for outings and discuss,possibly inculcate his ways into her.make him know dat is better for a woman 2 love u more than u 2 her.the girl is running 2 meet out there at dis time of his life is worse than his girlfriend.let him work it out.
Re: How Do You End An 8 Years Old Relationship? by Tinyemeka(m): 8:04am On Jan 28, 2012
I was also very surprised when I first saw the 8 years in the topic, but after reading the post I got to understand how it took that long.

From the OP it says that even the parents of both parties are in support of the union, the lady is respectful and has not been seen to have done anything to jeopardize the relationship.

Then what is the problem:
The guy is an extremely selfish person. Extremely selfish and I pity the person he decides to settle down with. He claims to be in a relationship but has no qualms about buying sex outside, on a weekly basis. If the lady had in any way been remotely linked with infidelity, I'm sure he'd have fired her a long time ago. It's unfortunate that she'd stayed this long else I'd have advised her to leave that man. She can still do it. He hasn't given her the reason to leave and that's why she's still hanging on.

Who knows, he might have caught HIV from his many sexcapades and doesn't want her to suffer along with him. Bl.oody bastard.

Some people could be blindly selfish.
Re: How Do You End An 8 Years Old Relationship? by Tosinville(m): 8:24am On Jan 28, 2012
coogar:
Quote from: dasparrow on
Yesterday at 06:03:56 PM

8 years of fornicating and didly
dadling and now he is bored. Of
course! I blame all those women
who have no self respect. They
keep giving a man their body for
free. Any man who trully loves
you will not want to desecrate
your body until he has made you
his legal wife. se/x has nothing to
do with love. Any man that claims
you do not love him because you
refused to open your legs is a
fraud. As a woman, you owe no
other man your body other than
your legally married husband. The
sooner women learn this, the
lesser their chances of suffering a
major heart break.

please spare us the long sermon!

i know many men who chose to
wait until the wedding night and
got betrayed by their spouses
who gave the hymens out to
other men.
everyone in a relationship looks
out for himself. if you see any
man who is asking for sex before
marriage, it is because of his own
security.
if women haven't been playing
men for fools in the past, men
wouldn't be making it a
prerequisite.


^^This can also be true, well shitt happens.
Re: How Do You End An 8 Years Old Relationship? by blucurtain: 8:26am On Jan 28, 2012
Really quite unfortunate that you have to wait 8 years to summon courage to admit these things.

I have been in this kind of situation but I wasnt sleeping with every woman around o! But I have dated a very beautiful girl for 8 years and felt no emotions after like 6 years. I terminated the relatioship (it wasnt easy) based on these following princples.

(1) You happiness is very important - it will affect everything about your life including how long you live so - BE SELFISH ABOUT YOUR DECISION!
(2) It is better tobreak up now THAN TO DIVORCE IN THE FUTURE and make life complicated for her and your children.
(3) NEVER MARRY FOR PITY once you get in, you cant get out trough the door.
(4) PRAY ABOUT IT dont talk too much to people about it they will confuse you the more.
(5) TRUST ME, SHE WIL GET A BETTER PERSON - at least someone that loves her and not you that does not - so this mess is equally dangerous for her too.
(6) You will only get a better wife IF YOU ARE SINCERE WITH YOUR CURRENT FEELINGS ABOUT HERE NOW AND NOT THAT YOU HAV FOUND A NEW GIRL.
(7) Marriage is not a child's play that you just go into with anyone - LOVE, RESPECT AND MOST IMPORTANTLY FRIENDSHIP are very important - once these things are not present - DONT EVEN TRY TO GO AHEAD WITH MARRIAGE PLANS - you will regret it.
(cool There is no good time to break anyones heart - WHAT HAS GOT TO BE DONE - HAS GOT TO BE DONE

My fear for you in your situation is this-
You  emotions now may be based on the fct that you are sleeping around. so you need to search yourself and before goign any further  stop all these useless stuffs. Also ensure you do not ask out or date any girl currently in your life or that you are fantasizing about now.

Above all - TAKE IT TO YOUR GOD IN PRAYERS
Re: How Do You End An 8 Years Old Relationship? by Tosinville(m): 8:28am On Jan 28, 2012
M.O.M:
Hmmmmmm, Within the 8yrs
was there any abortion as well,
Just asking, MAY GOD DELIVER
US FROM TIME WASTERS
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

^^sure bro, alot of D&C LOL.
Re: How Do You End An 8 Years Old Relationship? by Mynd44: 8:59am On Jan 28, 2012
^^^
Stop spamming the whole place jorh
Re: How Do You End An 8 Years Old Relationship? by naiijaboii: 11:04am On Jan 28, 2012
I dont understand why anyone is blaming this guy, He has already stated that he tried to breakup with her for a while and she wouldnt let go. Its an all too familiar combo that always leads to disaster, clingy chic plus liverless guy!

70% of marriages get boring after 8 years and the presence of kids, shopping, gossip and football helps to paper the cracks that begin to appear in marriages after a while. Its absolutely normal for men to get tired of anything once they have had their fill. Its in our nature, we get bored easily. Thus the school of thought that suggests chics shud marry a guy early in a relationship while the sparks are still flying.

The guy needs to man up and ease out of the relationship or face a future as the newest unhappy husband in town!!!

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