THE DILEMMA OF A STAMMERER IN LOVE
Hi Dear ,
I read your blog everyday like it's the scriptures. Now I need your help. I have a question for your readers. I'll be grateful if you can put it up in your blog. I am 29 years old and I'm well educated. I'm quite good-looking, of average height, very smart and financially successful.
In my final year in College in California, I was among the earliest employees to join a Silicon-valley startup that eventually got sold to Microsoft in 2009. I earned a few millions of dollars for my little stake in the company. I just bought my own house in Lekki, and I drive a decent SUV. I'm moderately comfortable, but I think I might be one of the most unhappy people around. I moved back to Lagos two months ago in order to reunite with my family and try my hands in setting up a beverage company. When I came back in November, I started attending this church in my area. That's where I met this girl. Her name is Amaka- I know this because the pastor called her up to the pulpit last week to make an announcement in church. Linda, I'm crazy about this girl. Our eyes have met several times in church. Two weeks ago she even smiled and said 'hi' to me. I'm familiar with the signs and I know she likes me, but I'm scared to approach her. And it's not because I'm a wuss. It's because I'm a very, very severe stammerer- the worst kind you'll find. It's really bad. I'm the kind of stammerer that when you hear me talk, you'll probably get irritated because it takes me so much time to say very basic things. Because of that, I don't really talk much- I just listen. I have lots of male friends who I've grown up with who understand my situation, and my former colleagues were very understanding and accommodating. Even my professors and classmates at school understood my situation. I'm scared about approaching this girl because I fear that if I approach her and start stammering before her like a bitch, she might just laugh at me, or even get nauseated. What should I do? I screwed up a lot of opportunities with girls who seemed to like me in school simply because I did not approach them since I was scared of my stuttering problem. I've grown up having a lot of close male friends and buddies, but virtually no female friends because of this issue. I don't want to screw up this opportunity with this girl. What do I do? Should I just go to her, stammer like a mad man and make a fool of myself? Do you think she'll judge me because of this? Do girls hate stammerers?
Thanks.
Culled from Linda Ikeji's blog
Guys and Ladies in Particular, what do you advise?

luv over luk all predicament if u find true luv. So sir, am also a stammerer bt i over came it. At a very young age by tryin 2 take a deep breath. Then calmly flow with the breath comin out 4rm d mouth as u speak. Giv it a try. Bt nija ladies ar always after ur money so be careful. Thnks

well, just be yourself and walk up to her - you may be suprised that your percieved weakness i.e. stammer is what willl attract her to you the more

Go on with d traditional style. Write her a letter and give it to her with a less expensive gift. Maybe a lady pef. But not on a Valentine day.  I think in d letter, just let her know u have an anomaly, but don't write it that u stammer. Let her discover herself. When she discovers, she might like u or not. But at least you have made a move. I wouldn't advice you send a friend, because that friend might always be d 3 rd party. N dat might get dangerous on d long run. Above all, b urself

Did he say he earned "a few million dollars" from the sale of his stake to Microsoft? And yet he still complains about a 'stammering' problem? Has this dreamer ever heard about how eloquent, persuasive, seductive, and enchanting MONEY sounds when it talks? Abeg all these fictional stories make me wanna punch somebody. Millions of dollars kor, hundreds of cefa ni. I'm outta here!

Just be urself and approach her, No matter ur condition, a girl will always wait 2 listen 2 what u want 2 say.
Who knows she might love u because u stammer.

pro01:

Did he say he earned "a few million dollars" from the sale of his stake to Microsoft? And yet he still complains about a 'stammering' problem? Has this dreamer ever heard about how eloquent, persuasive, seductive, and enchanting MONEY sounds when it talks? Abeg all these fictional stories make me wanna punch somebody. Millions of dollars kor, hundreds of cefa ni. I'm outta here!

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pro01:

Did he say he earned "a few million dollars" from the sale of his stake to Microsoft? And yet he still complains about a 'stammering' problem? Has this dreamer ever heard about how eloquent, persuasive, seductive, and enchanting MONEY sounds when it talks? Abeg all these fictional stories make me wanna punch somebody. Millions of dollars kor, hundreds of cefa ni. I'm outta here!

To be honest, you've just talked like a broken record. All you have mentioned, what have they got to do with the physical disability that he got? So money will bring out eloquence in him; for someone who's finding a difficult time speaking fluently? Ask yourself how many people who has money speak eloquently, and persuasively, let alone for some who has a speech difficulty?

Well, you only speak of the limit of what your eyes have seen, else, you will know the art of speaking has absolutely nothing to do with money, it's something you train yourself at, it gradually develops over time, and through constant public speaking, it makes you better. That's the prime difference between Obama and Bush; thank God to Toastmasters club, you can do a lot better.

I haven't heard much about this speech impediment recently, so I assumed there is a lot of very effective methods to relieve the stutterer and help them stop. Also, it seems to disproportionately affect young men, who (we assume) later grow out of it once out of the teen years.

Anyway, whatever the case, no matter how severe the stammering, it'd be tragic for the guy to let it prevent him from making a connection.  I mean, who cares!  Just make your move.  Maybe try the advice of first writing a letter.  I even heard that stutterers don't have any problems when they sing.  So, maybe sing some of the church songs to her first, or when you feel you're about to stammer. lol.

I can just see it now: Our stutterer goes to talk to the girl; she hears him stammer and she bursts out laughing.  His feelings get hurt, and he thinks "what a b*&^%, she's laughing at me because I stammer!"     Unbeknownst to him, she also has a problem - she laughs when she's nervous or surprised.    Ah!  What a world.  We're all so misunderstood.  Amazing how the human race hasn't slowly died out due to assumptions conjectures and misunderstandings.

@darejo

Darejo:

Just be urself and approach her, No matter ur condition, a girl will always wait 2 listen 2 what u want 2 say.
Who knows she might love u because u stammer.

my oh my! aren't you pretty? girl you are da bomb!

Well the d best way to do it is by gettin more involve in church activities,that way people will get to know you are a stammerer and she will also findout.Some girls like a Good dedicated broder who loves God and works for him.If she keeps smiling and say hi very often it means she does not mind but if she start to ignore you then it was not meant to be but from the way I see it,you look like d kind of guy any girl would want.Your condition will not be an obstacle.there are people with worse condition and have found true love.You said u do not have any female friend because of it too.I think you are already judging the female folks even before you meet them.Girls have this soft spot for guys who have one odd tin.They tend to be really nice and caring.Use you stammering as an advantage not a problem.Please be careful too not to get played or hurt.I wish you all the best

Do what you do best, use what you have to get what you dont have, program a software that will read out what you type to the girl in a romantic voice jk
but what am saying is, you musnt chyke her through talking, you can use letters and notes to atleast get her to know you and get her number. Then from there you can start texting and im, and e-mail. Then you can now break your predicament to her. Believe me, if she likes you, stuttering wouldnt even be a problem!

op,you got all the best advice here already.
Walk up to her and just be nothing but yourself.if she rejects you.fine!there'd be someone else who'd love and appreciate you for who you are someday.

pro01:

Did he say he earned "a few million dollars" from the sale of his stake to Microsoft? And yet he still complains about a 'stammering' problem? Has this dreamer ever heard about how eloquent, persuasive, seductive, and enchanting MONEY sounds when it talks? Abeg all these fictional stories make me wanna punch somebody. Millions of dollars kor, hundreds of cefa ni. I'm outta here!

I tire ooh, @OP better still Ask Aki his trick  , because i know girls were dying for AKI,

OP. ain't no one perfect, we all got flaws. Seems you hv let stuttering make you lose your self confidence. Try & be yourself coz your the man & naturally expected to make the first move.

Picture talking to her as addressing or selling an idea in a board meeting

Best of luck

u may want to start with a letter.

U can have a trusted person to act as a go-between at first?? ultimately, u will have to meet her urself. From the response u are going to get from ur emissary, (who might have hinted her abt ur speech challenge) U can then decide how u want ur meeting to be, n u will have more confident knowing she is not averse to ur predicament. Best of luck.
BTW: U should've heard abt speech therapists? watch the movie "The King's Speech" This will motivate u!

IbroSaunks:

u may want to start with a letter.

This's not a bad idea for him at all.

Blind ,deaf,cripples are finding love and most of them are broke.
Why do you want to limit yourself? A lady in love wouldn't let that bother her and trust me there's a lady for you just like everybody else.
Go straight to her and talk.If she despises you take heart and move to the next! Till u find ur rib.
And when you eventually do you will thank God for allowing those other ladies to sneer at you.
never allow ur present conditions/inability to limit ur progress cz u have no idea how bright the future is.

g

w

keep up the self confidence dear@X-boy.
And leave the guy alone joor

The answer to his problem is easy. Send the girl a letter and put a copy of you statement of account with it.

If you can keep the fact that you are financially stable from her for a while that will be better for you. I know the way the average Nigerian thinks so I would advice that you make sure whomever you are dating is dating you for you. Many families will even ask their daughters not to marry you until they find out about your money. Be careful. In the end you will find love but don't rush it

Smh

Smh

i wz madly in love wit a stammerer, n afta we departed, i still wanted a stammerer

Mr Cork will fit you

awww just give it a shot you never know

Men, listen, you never created yourself. I have a friend of mine also who is an acute stutterer, studied in the United States also. He read Accounting. He has same problem  when we went to 'Club 112' in Atlanta, Georgia and 2 American ladies walked up to us and complemented our dressing and wanted to meet us. So I introduced myself and they wanted to meet my friend. He was trying to express himself and it was a big problem and the ladies got embarrassed. I had to tell them that he is a stutterer. My friend is happily married now and have kids.

You should have made use of the US schools that handles stutterers to improve your speech. U know what I am talking about since you studied in the US.
Anyway you never created yourself and God who created you has also made a wife for you. If you love the girl, you can just send her a short note in writing inviting her out for a lunch or for you to have a female friend or sister very close to woe her out to a place and let that person disclose your situation to her in confidence and arrange for a meeting with her. Knowing your situation earlier before meeting with you, that will not be a problem when you get talking. When you become friends she will be the one doing the talking for you.
Good luck

The OP Ian a fraud jorh

My dear that u call a problem may be an advantage to u. Dont be in a haste to tell her either ur feelings or affluence. Try being friends and allow everytin work out itself.