Marriage causing all kinda hoopla these days Na wa.

I believe anyone who's upfront with themselves, work on their character flaws and mostly importantly chooses a partner who shares most or all of their fundamental values will have no problem in marriage.

neyostica:
A helper and not a partner

U can only ask for help when you have a need of it (vision for life before marriage)
When a man has no vision and go ahead to marry in the name of finding a help mate, the marriage become a mirage instead of a miracle.

Women, don't marry any man that has no vision...even if he has money now, he will waste it and become a liability, But when he has vision, anything is possible.

Tgirl4real: Another thing that causes wahala is when the wife wants to control the relationship.

You want to determine wen your hubby wakes up, shower, go to work, return from work, what he eats @ work, who he eats with, the type of work he does, how he spends his money.(lol). You want to make every decision for him. All in the name of making your own contribution you dominate his life.

You determine everything in the family. He hardly says a word, u've said 10 and you hav an opinion on every matter. He doesn't know how to do anything well. Infact, you are competing the 'head' position with him. You are the only one that knows what is best for the kids. His opinion doesn't count.

If you are controlling, u will eventually turn your hubby to a puppet. When he wakes up from his slumber, you start having issues claiming that he has changed.

If you complain too much you chase him out into the hands of other women cos you are choking him.

The bible says it's better to live on the rooftop than to live with a nagging wife.

Just as we want our husbands to 'gbo ri du ro' and treat us right, we also have the responsibilty to treat him as the head he truly is and stop competing with him.

If you are already married,your husband should consider himself extremely lucky b/c if you are practising all you`ve
enumerated,your marriage will be one of the few without constant squabbles.And if you are not married,upload your
picture for the single guys, you are probably the hottest marriage material on this forum.Marriages are very,very
problematic nowadays but with a mindset like yours,a significant portion of the problems in marriages will melt away.

Niseamaka:


If you are already married,your husband should consider himself lucky b/c if you are practising all you`ve enumerated,
your marriage will be one of the few without constant squabbles.And if you are not married,upload your picture for the
single guys, you are probably the hottest marriage material on this forum.Marriages are very problematic but with a mindset like yours,about half of the problems in most marriages will melt away easily.

Stop hoping and act if you are single...the grl make sense die. gud for her man!

Agbenyiess:

Stop hoping and act if you are single...the grl make sense die. gud for her man!

She`s a pot of gold.

this is a serious issue...............but i think married is not do or die affair as people think. both parties has a role to play. most especially the men. i always say that whatever happens in any relationship, men should be hold responsible. Because we men has the power to make changes. right from the beginning of the relationship , both parties needed to create sibling-ship looking before 'my husband or my wife'. any man who say her wife is perfect is making a big mistake.....Every woman needs guidance always. praise them when they do right and question them when they are going the wrong side. Not by violence....because you cant educate woman with violence. every man must treat his wife like her junior sister, no matter her age. make sure she submit to you professionally. be more polite to her and she will be addicted you that every man will irritate her in terms of emotion. mind you before you build any trust, you must try the person in many ways. try and pick his or her phone and see her reaction. never take your marital problem to a friends home. you have the power to solve it. seek advise from aged people. you will definitely enjoy ur married. remember, my wife is my best friend and you know, one of the best wife in the whole wide world.

....@ All, if the so called Marriage have all this ups and Downs, Y are people struggling and rushing to go into it? To me its a Feminist agenda because Ladies have very short life span and want to Marry quickly, THEY LURE MEN INTO IT, Then when they are safely in it they start comparing the Man with other Men that are doing better financially,and in the end get the man frustrated.Guyz wise up, dont marry because your coleagues are getting married or your family or Pastor is putting U Under pressure.ONLY MARRY WHEN U ARE READY FINANCIALLY if not U will regret it. MARRIAGE IS NOT AN INVESTMENT BUT A SWEET LIABILITY.

Marriage is not the issue here - its US. We are the problem. Its been said again and again "Marriage is about two wrecks trying to get along"

But if you are saved and are loving God marriage is made so much easier - the Bible basically calls women to respect her husband but the MAN to literally die for his wife. Ephesians raises the bar for how a man is to love his wife and calls him to love his wife as Christ loved his church. (he dies for his Church - gave his body for it)

But remember that as a Christian its a work in progress - but men are called to maturity here and leadership (leadership as Jesus defined it is really based on SERVING)

Man i struggle here but God is able

Niseamaka:

If you are already married,your husband should consider himself lucky b/c if you are practising all you`ve enumerated,
your marriage will be one of the few without constant squabbles.And if you are not married,upload your picture for the
single guys, you are probably the hottest marriage material on this forum.Marriages are very problematic nowadays but
with a mindset like yours,about half of all the problems in most marriages will melt away easily.

awww . . . dats sweet.
I'm married o. Infact, I had to learn fast. At the early stage of my marriage, I wanted us to do everything together o. I wanted him to sleep wen I'm ready to sleep.lol. And I got pregnant early with some challenges so I couldn't go out with him as we used to. I had to learn fast not to complain about everything jare.

Thanks.

yes marriage is a bed of roses... but only in our dreams.

9ice 1 ;Di think am luvin it.

'help mate' not helper

My dear,E NO EASY OOO!! and the most painful part is that u don't realise this until u're married.

Lets all pray for the grace of God to pull through

efribodi don talk am, marriage better but na real work to make it work.

Pls am new here.hw can i start a topic

Reading d bible on my way home dis evening, came across this and I couldn't help but post it.

1Cor 7:28 (the latter part) - NIV
"But those who marry will face many troubles in this life and I want to spare you this"

In the lyt of d present situation during Paul's tym, crisis, persecutions and all, Paul advised the unmarried not to marry, though if they do, they aint sinning.

Hmmm . . .
It made me sigh deeply. Are we also not in tough times?
Meaning: if
u aint ready to face challenges, don't get married.

Emu4u2c: Pls am new here.hw can i start a topic

dis post should be in d Nairaland section of the forum. Shoulda deleted it but cos u are a newbie, will help out.

Go to d top of d section you want to post in i.e. d section dat relates to your topic and click of 'start a new topic'

hope am ryt

[quote author=Tgirl4real]

dis post should be in d Nairaland section of the forum. Shoulda deleted it but cos u are a newbie, will help out.

Go to d top of d section you want to post in i.e. d section dat relates to your topic and click of 'start a new topic'

hope am ry

lol Niseamaka.

Take it easy on d dude na

In my book, A Heart to Mend, one of the sub-plots has Gladys being mentored by an older woman who has experienced an unhealthy marriage. Aunt Isioma's story is key to Gladys dealing with some of her own emotional baggage as she works through her relationship with Edward. Gladys is a woman discovering herself and making sometimes tough decisions in the process, including choosing a life partner.

A Heart to Mend may not be your classic romance novel about a helpless damsel waiting for a knight on a white charger, but like my other books, it is my own way of advocating for women to take charge of the totality of who they are - mind, body, soul AND emotions. Because in reality, most women do want to find someone to go through life with.

The important thing for us women to decide before marriage is to know who you are first and know your worth as a person so you can enjoy a healthy, mature relationship with the right person for you.

Ensure u live upto this statement when u get married. But if u are married enjoy ur marriage.[img]http://www.filii.info/g.gif[/img]

Marriage is in no way a bed of roses. E no easy at all oh. Na only God dey help for marriage. E no dey for how much money you get or how you strong reach. na only God fit make marriage work.

Marriage is all about understanding,nothing should be feared but be undwerstood,my wife doesnt understand me,despite the fact that i told her b4 we got married dat am a man that is always on the move to get things done

coogar: marrying the right partner solves 80% of the problems one might encounter in marriage.
sadly, a lot of people marry the wrong spouse for reasons best known to them.

U re very rite, infact marryg d wrong person is d beginning of an unhappy marriage!

naijababe: Marriage causing all kinda hoopla these days Na wa.

I believe anyone who's upfront with themselves, work on their character flaws and mostly importantly chooses a partner who shares most or all of their fundamental values will have no problem in marriage.

most of us would rather pretend till we are married.

Ilekokonit: The wedding day is a hundred metre dash whilst the actual marriage is a marathon.

Marriage is only worth it if you meet your soulmate.
Now meeting your soul mate is a different issue altogether. How many of us will meet our soulmate in just one lifetime

These are true words but what happens when due to circumstances you are unable to marry your soulmate? Isn't the next best thing to find a close match to your preference, however imperfect? Doesn't mean the marriage has to be miserable but with mutual respect and companionship/friendship you find you can grow to love this person and the ideology of a 'soulmate' is no longer relevant.

Just my thoughts...

Ije Israel:

These are true words but what happens when due to circumstances you are unable to marry your soulmate? Isn't the next best thing to find a close match to your preference, however imperfect? Doesn't mean the marriage has to be miserable but with mutual respect and companionship/friendship you find you can grow to love this person and the ideology of a 'soulmate' is no longer relevant.

Just my thoughts...

I kinda agree with ur thots

I totally concoined wit u...wot u said is pure perfect?