yolandy:
My husband of over 6 years has now become an outspoken atheist. He has been one all along but he has been keeping it on the low. He opened up to me and told me 3 years after we got married. I was shocked but there was nothing I could do. He wasn't really a religious person before we got married and I wasn't as well(I was much more religious than him even at that time).

First thing first, how come you didn't find out if he was atheist before you got married? Well, I won't judge you based on that.

Since you are married to him, I guess what you can do now is to pray and hope God changes him. As long as he hasn't turned to a devil overnight and as long as he is still willing to stay married to you, then I do not see any problem. You can check out 1 Cor 7: 13 -14

Some days ago I over heard him suggesting to my 6 years old son that the stories in the Bible are mere stories. It started when my son asked him why he doesn't pray together with us. I confronted him and he said he just wanted the boy to know how he feels about the Bible. He then said he will wait for our kids to grow up some more before letting them know his position. But I fear with his present outspoken attitude, he will try to poison their young minds and tell them that all the stories inside the Bible are all lies the way he tells any body that comes his way to either preach to him or engage him in any discussion about religion

Please ma'am, don't over work yourself over your little ones. God has them in His care. All you can do as a mother is to ensure you train them in the way of the Lord and pray for them also. Their salvation is purely in God's hand.

Wish you all the best.

harakiri: @Davidylan (again)

Did you just say the earth is a "circle"? Is that what your science books tell you? Anyways, before you start shooting yourself in the foot and "explaining" how circles have "corners", let me drop a few more :

(1)Isaiah 40:22 says two things. . .First the earth is a circle and second, it has a circle above it. Read your bible well David. You so called religious folks lack "proper understanding of the bible".

(2)Job 38:13 : That it might take hold of the ENDS OF THE EARTH that the wicked might be shaken out of it (Can you imagine the absurdity of this statement? And you call yourself a scientist).

(3)Jeremiah 16:19 : O lord, my strength and my fortress and my refuge in the day of affliction,the gentiles shall come unto thee from the ENDS OF THE EARTH and shall say,surely our fathers have inherited lies and things wherein there is no profit.

(4)Daniel 4:11 : The tree grew and was strong and the height thereof reached unto heaven and the sight thereof to the ENDS OF ALL THE EARTH (You can't even see far enough from Mount Everest and this is a dumb a$$ tree we are talking about).

Do i need go on?

So are you saying the Earth is not ''spherical in shape'' as we were thought in primary schools??, and so because it has a spherical shape (if you agree) does not have ends or corners? just asking though.

Yolandy,
You need to be wise and gentle in how you approach this. Firstly and very important, do not give audience to extended family, church members or anyone else who speaks negatively about your husband. Your duty is first to love & protect him and make those people understand that you will not entertain them bad-mouthing him in front of you - especially as he's a good man and takes care of his family unlike so many others who claim to be religious. You must be his unrelenting ally & staunch supporter in the presence of others - this is so important!

Secondly, respect your husbands beliefs. I'm a christian myself and know it can be hard living with someone who does not share something that is so important and precious to you, BUT you must still respect his beliefs. Do not nag him and so make him an 'enemy'. Listen when he talks, and show you understand why he is frustrated with religion/religious people - especially in Naija where hyprocrits abound, religious superstition reigns and high profile pastors make a mockery of the faith by the way they live. Talking about your disagreements WILL help, perhaps he is not listening now because maybe you're pushing your faith on him. You can soften his heart when he sees that you understand why he believes as he does. Then perhaps he might not be so angry when he's in public and voices his opinion. The one thing he can do differently is to be a bit more diplomatic & less confrontational when giving his opinion to others. When you're both in a good mood...gently chide him about it, while you're massaging his back, joke about how he can a bit softer on the religious 'zombies' etc etc. Its not about manipulating him - but rather communicating your thoughts to him.

Thirdly, do not try to change him. I repeat, do not try to change him. This is not your job. Love, respect, take care of and pray for him. Seek the face of God and leave it in His hands. That is really the best you can do. Your gentle, quiet, respectful, loving, supportive behavior towards your husband (especially in the company of family members & church folk) will be far far and away more powerful and convicting on him than talking/complaining to him. And despite your disagreements, don't pit yourself with your children against him - they are his children too and he has the right to also want to share himself with them so don't be angry at that. Whatever your children are taught now, they will also grow and be exposed to many many things and will need to decide for themselves which path they want to take. Having a loving father is a treasure many children don't have today.

All in all, I hope & pray all goes well for you. You already have a solid home & marriage, enjoy & cherish it! and God will complete the work He began according to His will. May it be so for you. Amen.

harakiri:

Whose coping-out? An Atheist has no incentive to provide your so called "alternative" to your god. We don't believe and that's it. Why are you so desperate David? Do you believe in the tooth fairy? Of course you don't. If i ask you to provide another alternative to the tooth fairy, i'm pretty sure you'd label me as being insane. Right? That's EXACTLY what you are when you ask me (who doesn't give a rat's a$$ about your beliefs) to provide/proof another alternative to your delusions.

Pathetic!

Illogical nonsense. Does a coin have only one side?
If you think the bible theory of heaven is wrong that means you must know an alternative that proves it to be wrong no? 1+1 does not equal 3 BECAUSE we already know that it is equal to 2 no?
you cant just claim the idea that God created the heaven is false just because you think so... is that your idea of an above-average IQ? Poor, try again.

I dont believe the tooth fairy exists BECAUSE i know an alternative - God!

Next?

NB: if you dont give a rats butt about my beliefs then why do you troll the religion pages screaming urself hoarse about a lot of things you have a very porous understanding about?

harakiri: @Davidylan



I haven't been reading the bible? ROFLMAO. Let me take you to school David :

(1)Isaiah 11:12 : And he shall set up an ensign for the nations,and will assemble the outcasts of Israel,and gather together the dispersed of Judah FROM THE FOUR CORNERS OF THE EARTH! ! !

(2)Revelation 7:1 : After this i saw four angels standing on the FOUR CORNERS OF THE EARTH,holding back the FOUR WINDS OF THE EARTH,to prevent any wind from blowing on the land or on the sea or any tree.

How's that for starters David? You religious illiterate! ! ! These are excerpts from both the old and new testament.




Can you clearly state what these "atheist demi-gods" are?

Thanks.

Dumb really. Any serious bible scholar knows that the term "four corners of the earth" in the bible is a plain reference to the four cardinal points on a compass - north, south, east, west. The hebrew word that is translated as "corner" there is "Kanaph" and literarily translated as "extremes" or "quadrants" in the greek.

Next?

ronkebp:

I did, read it through and through, i was concerned more about the bolded in all your post to David.

What is the difference between a circle and a sphere, ain't they the same TO AN EXTENT.?

Lets assume the sphere or circle do not have corners like the regular triangles and squares, but we can say they have the northern part, southern part, eastern and western parts which are divided into four different parts of the same circle. Right? (if right) then you understand the inferences from the Bible with relations to especially Revelations, " Four corners of the earth"

saw this in wikipedia,A sphere (from Greek σφαῖρα — sphaira, "globe, ball"[1]) is a perfectly round geometrical object in three-dimensional space, such as the shape of a round ball. Like a circle, which is in two dimensions, a perfect sphere is completely symmetrical around its center, with all points on the surface lying the same distance r from the center point

You're wasting your time with this unintelligent noise-maker.

davidylan & harakiri you guys are no longer contributing constructively to this thread. Carry your sphere vs circle vs corners vs ends lessons elsewhere.

For the OP, I am currently dating an Agnostic man and he is the most tolerant and loving man I have ever come across and this is coming from the daughter of a pastor. I have chosen to believe in the bible and like most Christians I have picked the rules to follow that would lead me to live right. I am in no position to judge my boyfriend and you should not judge your husband too.

You know deep in your heart that he is a good man and when it is you both at home you are OK with him exactly how he is and the problem is with others. You don't have anything to be ashamed of. Most religious people are hypocrites so it is only the heart that matters.

lurkee: davidylan & harakiri you guys are no longer contributing constructively to this thread. Carry your sphere vs circle vs corners vs ends lessons elsewhere.

For the OP, I am currently dating an Agnostic man and he is the most tolerant and loving man I have ever come across and this is coming from the daughter of a pastor. I have chosen to believe in the bible and like most Christians I have picked the rules to follow that would lead me to live right. I am in no position to judge my boyfriend and you should not judge your husband too.

You know deep in your heart that he is a good man and when it is you both at home you are OK with him exactly how he is and the problem is with others. You don't have anything to be ashamed of. Most religious people are hypocrites so it is only the heart that matters.

Thank you so so so much for that sister. Sorry about derailing the thread but Dave had it coming.

@OP

You dey hia am?

lurkee: davidylan & harakiri you guys are no longer contributing constructively to this thread. Carry your sphere vs circle vs corners vs ends lessons elsewhere.

For the OP, I am currently dating an Agnostic man and he is the most tolerant and loving man I have ever come across and this is coming from the daughter of a pastor. I have chosen to believe in the bible and like most Christians I have picked the rules to follow that would lead me to live right. I am in no position to judge my boyfriend and you should not judge your husband too.

You know deep in your heart that he is a good man and when it is you both at home you are OK with him exactly how he is and the problem is with others. You don't have anything to be ashamed of. Most religious people are hypocrites so it is only the heart that matters.

Being an agnostic myself but married to a serious Christian, I've had alot of problems with her as regards religious expectations because she always look at what people will say. Nigeria is full of hypocrites that don't judge people based on their deeds but by societal expectations. My take about the whole thing is that if you can practice your Christianity openly, then I as a human being with free will and rights should be able to practice my agnostic believes openly and freely and if you don't subscribe and respect my believes, then you don't want to be married to me because I cannot live a miserable life in the name of marriage.

A lot of Africans nay Nigerians can't comprehend disbelief in a spiritual world. We are so close minded to consider any possibility of options besides...God, Devil or Neither God nor Devil. Not everything on earth is Boolean.


OP, Ignore your husband. If your husband can be an atheist with religious parents, why do you think your children will be Christians just because both of you are?

Both of you have the responsibility to tell your children your beliefs and let them choose what they think is appropriate for them.

2good:

Being an agnostic myself but married to a serious Christian, I've had alot of problems with her as regards religious expectations because she always look at what people will say. Nigeria is full of hypocrites that don't judge people based on their deeds but by societal expectations. My take about the whole thing is that if you can practice your Christianity openly, then I as a human being with free will and rights should be able to practice my agnostic believes openly and freely and if you don't subscribe and respect my believes, then you don't want to be married to me because I cannot live a miserable life in the name of marriage.

Nice one.

It is so funny how i see people say Nigerians are judgemental...but can be quick to call some christains ''hypocrites''...even if it is true.....haven't you judged?

ronkebp: It is so funny how i see people say Nigerians are judgemental...but can be quick to call some christains ''hypocrites''...even if it is true.....haven't you judged?

Everybody is judgmental, EVEN YOU. I'm pretty sure if a madman crossed the street with a big wrap of marijuana in his hand and started getting "fresh" with you, you'd completely go bonkers with rage. Why can't you hear him out instead of condemning him due to his haggard appearance?

Get the picture? You're also guilty!

harakiri:

Everybody is judgmental, EVEN YOU. I'm pretty sure if a madman crossed the street with a big wrap of marijuana in his hand and started getting "fresh" with you, you'd completely go bonkers with rage. Why can't you hear him out instead of condemning him due to his haggard appearance?

Get the picture? You're also guilty!

We are all judgemental......too bad!!!! but i guess it is a human thing, we can't help it. Now for that madman scenerio, ''wait and hear what?? before he comes close gan sef, i have taken to my heels.

Madam,
Am an Atheist and married, my wife is not so religious but she attends all the church activities and observes all the religious feasts, though I never attended with her but she has never complained, any time she talks about it would be jokingly, she would say things like 'if rapture happens now I will leave you and go to heaven' and guess what? we would laugh over it jokingly.
What is about to happen to your happy marriage now is what happens when a person gets senselessly religious, you see hatred, discrimination, quarrelling, domestic violence, divorce(if you allow third parties e.g your pastor etc.)
The problem is neither your husband nor religion, the problem is YOU because religion cannot survive without people. You have no problem with your husband being an atheist, its all about mind over matter. if you mind, it matters but if you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
As for the kids, my dear, I prefer ethics and value orientation to religious studies.

lurkee:
For the OP, I am currently dating an Agnostic man and he is the most tolerant and loving man I have ever come across <b> and this is coming from the daughter of a pastor.</b> I have chosen to believe in the bible and like most Christians I have picked the rules to follow that would lead me to live right. I am in no position to judge my boyfriend and you should not judge your husband too.

How convenient of you to choose the part of the bible dat soothes u. What about 'do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers'? You aint married, yet you choose to disobey scriptures. Isn't dat hypocritical of you?

It is so easy for you to say its only d heart dat matters dere by killing the OPs conscience. I am glad you didn't claim to be a christian cos if you truly are, you wont be talking like dat.

lurkee:
davidylan & harakiri you guys are no longer contributing constructively to this thread. Carry your sphere vs circle vs corners vs ends lessons elsewhere.

I support this. You guys can take d argument to the Religion section. There are so many threads on it.

Cheers!

Poster,

First of all, that's why the bible says do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. You are now finding it difficult to handle the differences in religious beliefs between you and your husband. You are already married so this point does not apply anyways.

Secondly, You have no right whatsoever to try to condemn whatever your husband chooses to believe in. Just like he has no right to condemn whom you choose to worship. The problem we Christians have is we are so condemnatory of people who don't hold the same beliefs or interpretations of the bible as we do and honestly that's not what Christianity is about. Only God has the power to do the work of revealing himself to your husband if he chooses to do so but if not all you can do is keep being the submissive and respectful wife your bible teaches you to be and hope that your attitude will let him see that your relationship with God is making you a better person. Right now, there is no way he can see it since family members, pastors and what not dislike him...I mean why should we dislike an atheist because of what he/she believes in...I thought our relationship with God was supposed to teach us love and not hatred towards other people. Even Jesus related so well with other non-believers and he was more condeming of religious fanatics who felt they knew it all...I am not saying you should condone his stand but learn to live peaceably with him and stop trying to create a fire where there is none....

Your quiet and humble spirit stands a chance of drawing him closer to God than you being on his case and confronting him and shouting religion down his throat. As for your kids, please realize that no matter what you and your husband tell them, your kids will grow up to be their own people and make their own decisions depending on where life takes them.

So please guard your home and stop opening it up to external influences... Stop letting what other people say dictate your actions...You were living in peace before you started going to church and becoming a fanatic and now that you have involved all the pastors and congregational members, you are turning your home into a chaotic one. Yes I love the fact that you have a good relationship with God but please DO NOT ACT LIKE A PHARISEE....

Thank u Ecalos. U spoke well

@ ALL

Thank you so much for your inputs. It is not so easy because people here in Nigeria don't want to understand his position and lack of belief. What is funny is that some crazy people try to use his atheism to get at me, as a bad person that deserves to be married to a godless man. I am now trying to develop a thick skin for all that. We have had a very honest conversation last night and I pray that God will watch over us all and reveal himself to my husband. We have both made some concessions and I hope things will remain as they are for now.

@yolandy. I've not bothered to read thru the response of other posters. My advise to you is to live your dutiful husband in his peace with his "faith", dedicate yourself to being a good WIFE to him and retain the peace of your home. Cos, from your post, he's already the GOOD HUSBAND the bible req's a husband to be to you.
As for your kids stop being so anxious, GOD knows how to save (& that I say from experience). Good enough he doesn't stop them from goinh to church &praying(?).
DON'T DEV HBP 4 NOTIN!!

harakiri:

If i ask you to provide another alternative to the tooth fairy, i'm pretty sure you'd label me as being insane. Right?

Pathetic!

umm....the alternative to the tooth fairy is the easter bunny......so if you don't believe in anything, you must have some alternative in how you live your life?.....do you focus on happiness?.....live by some golden rule?.....focus on love?......karma?.....what motivates you to do anything "nice" or "good"?

People like wahala sha.
You have a good rational man you are concerned about gossip from people who likely wear asoebi to church come home and beat their wives thenn go out and cheat on them without a sigle thought of God.
We like Reigion yet so godless. If all these people who form holy holy in sundays are practical Christians our crime and curroption rates will be less than a quarter.
Leave your husband be, every Nigerian is entitled to freedom of worship or not, you married him as an Athiest, respect his believes.
Most Athiest I know are more rational and moral than most pretentious church goers.
How do people go and start screaming in hospitals distracting the doctor and disturbing other patients?
Must they shout before God hears their prayers? Can't we silently pray as Jesus commands? Didn't the Bible warn us about making prayer an item of public spectaacle?
I have gone to visit people in hospitals and you hear people screaming in the name of prayers from other rooms when nurses caution them they term her a witch and their prayers are disturbing her witchcraft.
Ever have I seen a more delusional bunch.
Am sorry to say