Broda, I believe you are christian
If you are, sorry to burst you bubble, I think you should hear what the MASTER has to say about your condition:
Matt 5:31,32; Matt 19:7; Mark 10:4...
Let me say in advance that my submissions might be wrong, but any christian here with contrary opinion is welcome to expound it here
I know its very hard to let go at this stage but I'll advise you seek good (christian)counsel before you set out, and obviously you won't get it on NL.
If there is something I always pray for in a woman, it's that she respects the integrity and sanctity of the marriage institution..Marriage to me is a lifelasting covenant, not one to jump in and out of...it's not a perfect relationship even though it's meant to be life-long.Hence couples should always endeavour to sheathe their ego-swords in dealing with each other, there should be forbearance, full disclosure and regular communication.. Try to know the reason for this divorce in the first place, and if it's just a matter of ego-contests as is rife in most contemporary marriages, you might just be the one God will use to bring the divorcing couple back together.
PS: seeing I am not a relationship expert myself, I will still insist you seek good christian counsel, and talk to God about it

Lol. Adelebo nigba miran le daa ju wundia lo self. Everything depends on luck

~Bluetooth:


Nitori olohun,kini omode arae fe fi ADELEBO se, Se sisi ti tan ni igboro ni?

ayo jango: @ poster great matured talk,if u really love her go for it,even married couples that have all life's trappimgs aint happy
From all u said u r ready to forget d past,who knws she migHt b d key to ur eldorado.Great guy u R.

You're right bro. Thanks

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Willzkid: Broda, I believe you are christian
If you are, sorry to burst you bubble, I think you should hear what the MASTER has to say about your condition:
Matt 5:31,32; Matt 19:7; Mark 10:4...
Let me say in advance that my submissions might be wrong, but any christian here with contrary opinion is welcome to expound it here
I know its very hard to let go at this stage but I'll advise you seek good (christian)counsel before you set out, and obviously you won't get it on NL.
If there is something I always pray for in a woman, it's that she respects the integrity and sanctity of the marriage institution..Marriage to me is a lifelasting covenant, not one to jump in and out of...it's not a perfect relationship even though it's meant to be life-long.Hence couples should always endeavour to sheathe their ego-swords in dealing with each other, there should be forbearance, full disclosure and regular communication.. Try to know the reason for this divorce in the first place, and if it's just a matter of ego-contests as is rife in most contemporary marriages, you might just be the one God will use to bring the divorcing couple back together.
PS: seeing I am not a relationship expert myself, I will still insist you seek good christian counsel, and talk to God about it

God can perhaps use me for her. Either way, I will stand by her unless she makes a u-turn.

Let's leave family, marriage and divorce for a minute. You have painted this lady to be intelligent and go getting but I am confused as to why a first time mother would leave her child with her mother in law whilst chasing a divorce from her son. That's the bit I don't understand. I am not involved so I read her as an opportunist. I truly would like this to have a fairy tale ending but.....
I admire your courage and what reads as pure love or infatuation but all this child in the middle and emotional baggage is not as easy as it seems o. My best friend's son is the nicest child you have ever met but was evil at best to her now husband when they met. Whilst he wanted his mum to get married, the reality of another male making a number of decisions irritated him a lot. Even I had to suggest boarding school to allow them some peace. He was terribly jealous of his step father. This wouldn't be your portion but it seems one sided now o.

You really talk like an expert. Thanks for the spiritual introduction.

Willzkid: Broda, I believe you are christian
If you are, sorry to burst you bubble, I think you should hear what the MASTER has to say about your condition:
Matt 5:31,32; Matt 19:7; Mark 10:4...
Let me say in advance that my submissions might be wrong, but any christian here with contrary opinion is welcome to expound it here
I know its very hard to let go at this stage but I'll advise you seek good (christian)counsel before you set out, and obviously you won't get it on NL.
If there is something I always pray for in a woman, it's that she respects the integrity and sanctity of the marriage institution..Marriage to me is a lifelasting covenant, not one to jump in and out of...it's not a perfect relationship even though it's meant to be life-long.Hence couples should always endeavour to sheathe their ego-swords in dealing with each other, there should be forbearance, full disclosure and regular communication.. Try to know the reason for this divorce in the first place, and if it's just a matter of ego-contests as is rife in most contemporary marriages, you might just be the one God will use to bring the divorcing couple back together.
PS: seeing I am not a relationship expert myself, I will still insist you seek good christian counsel, and talk to God about it

shileowo: thread slowly, listen to her advice.Someone you've not seen for 2 decades.Ask questions,what happened to the first marriage? where is the ex husband,know her fiends . she probably don't trust you. She might be the best for you, but good things don't come easy.everything happen for a reason.Enjoy yourselves while it last

The first marriage went sour due to misunderstandings and 'my mother says...' factor. Her husband works at LNG in PH while she stayed with the mother-inlaw prior to her getting this present job. Thanks for the queries.

i just want to tell you that you should be careful of the advice that people might bring on this forum,it seems you are taking the ones you like rather than thinking seriously about the decision you are about to make.from what i read,the girl is just 25 years old and you never thought for a minute that a 25 years old divorcee was strange.when did she get married?if she could be divorced by 25,i am sure the marriage is not up to 6 or 7 years,which means she is not a very patient woman.the same way she is not patient with the first husband is the same way she will not be patient with you.

marvel10: Let's leave family, marriage and divorce for a minute. You have painted this lady to be intelligent and go getting but I am confused as to why a first time mother would leave her child with her mother in law whilst chasing a divorce from her son. That's the bit I don't understand. I am not involved so I read her as an opportunist. I truly would like this to have a fairy tale ending but.....
I admire your courage and what reads as pure love or infatuation but all this child in the middle and emotional baggage is not as easy as it seems o. My best friend's son is the nicest child you have ever met but was evil at best to her now husband when they met. Whilst he wanted his mum to get married, the reality of another male making a number of decisions irritated him a lot. Even I had to suggest boarding school to allow them some peace. He was terribly jealous of his step father. This wouldn't be your portion but it seems one sided now o.

You seem to get the whole picture just right. It was not what she'd planned. They also had to compel her to Leave her child. She was helpless as a result but now making frantic efforts towards collecting her child back, even legally. She sure has learnt some invaluable lessons. Thanks for your view and judgement.

ivili: i just want to tell you that you should be careful of the advice that people might bring on this forum,it seems you are taking the ones you like rather than thinking seriously about the decision you are about to make.from what i read,the girl is just 25 years old and you never thought for a minute that a 25 years old divorcee was strange.when did she get married?if she could be divorced by 25,i am sure the marriage is not up to 6 or 7 years,which means she is not a very patient woman.the same way she is not patient with the first husband is the same way she will not be patient with you.

Thanks man. She got married just after her leaving the university at 23yrs. She's also doing everything possible to put everything behind her by always getting occupied with job and further academics.

exng: op...tread carefully...its ok to go for a single mother...not a worry...but do yourself a favour..find out if her xter is in question...let me tel you like someone rightly said...a nigerian girl is ripe for marriage at age 29 and above and not below..this is the maths. at the younger age. they live for what they see on TV...kardarshian etc..they want such life..they want an already made husband.one that will pamper them..etc...dont get me wrong there is n wrong at all in doing that for your wifey..But in my own understandign she needs to bring something into the house. not financial things..there are oads of stuff a woman can bring in..apart from money..i dont need to list them out...maybe the previous husband is my type...so guy..find out her xter..understand what led to the divorce..there are two sides to every story..however...i wish you all the best...but dont rush things bro!!

I concur bro!

I hope the lady is not also on NL. I could just imagine her smiling after reading a post and slightly frown after reading another.

gbenga007: Lol. Adelebo nigba miran le daa ju wundia lo self. Everything depends on luck


You're right bro. Thanks

Have you really bothered to ask her why she divorced after 2 years of marriage ? Dont forget that relationship based on extreme circumstances dont always last and dont love people out of pity !

@op, I av heard peeps here give u d soundest advise any marriage councelor could ever give you.

I suggest you really tink abt it before u make a decision, cos wateva the decision or outcome, we all will not be a part of the success or regret story.

Its solel ur decision. However don't start any life long union on a lie. Be man enough and face ur parents.

Unless ur expecting her parents to also live a lie when the actual family introductions wud be done!

InHim4Him: Many have given you good counsel: wait, think, follow your heart, etc. But how come you just woke up to marriage desires at your age? You mean you never admired any other before you reconnected? What has happened to those others? Between primary school and now so much has changed about you and her. You think she needs freedom and you can give that? Your family trusts you! That's a reason why you must not betray that trust. SLOW DOWN! There are questions you are yet to ask yourself. Marriage is not a private quiet affair eventually - you have neighbors, friends, colleagues who are not living on NL. How does your marriage affect you, her and those relationships?

I was never ready for a serious relationship until late last year when I met a girl, tried my best for her until she fell for her ex's persuasion. I was just ripe for a serious relationship IMO.

You have heard different views. Even after consulting the Pope or Pastor Enoch Adeboye, the decision is yours.

who said you would be happy if u married your married your mother? that your father agreed with your mother that u're his son does not make u his biological son (barring DNA test). If she would make you happy, go ahead. BUT!!! pls let her conclude with the divorce and let her head be clear before she would stick to you without thinking. She apparently doesnt think before making decisions. Dont let her use you to make a statement. She must have used the ex-husband to get some advantage.

If you cannot convince your folks abt her, then you dont know her enough to marry her. Keep ur mind open and dont rush, u're just 27.

Either for or against, these are some of the best and mature response on a trend on this forum.

~Bluetooth:


Have you really bothered to ask her why she divorced after 2 years of marriage ? Dont forget that relationship based on extreme circumstances dont always last and dont love people out of pity !

I think she felt she was too young to be caged lest they (her mum inlaw) limit her progression. She's very ambitious!

luvkia: Either for or against, these are some of the best and mature response on a trend on this forum.

You are definitely right. The responses here are priceless, mature and second to none on this forum. I appreciate y'all. Happy Easter (to d xtian brethren)

"We are both gainfully employed (6digits)" - Oloju koko ro! you are still young to start with second hand in your life.

@poster, I put it to you that you dont love that lady! What you are feeling for her is pity, not love. I am also sensing that you feel you can never get a good single lady. You are feeling that you would never get someone to marry if she slips away. But your mind has been made up going by your posts. Therefore, marry her and 'enjoy'.

dude...i think you gotta be careful mehn...what city is this gurl from and what city does she live in now and what city are you from and what city do you live now.
My take, people aren't just divorced, did you hear da full story? perhaps the other dude's side? was cheating involved? how about her family? Did they support da divorce, if all this shit ain't properly investigated, you might be the victim of her 2nd chance...

so...watch it bro

If you keep the fact of her being a divorcee away from your family, what will her status in the marriage bann read? How will they not know from there?

If you really want to go ahead with the marriage, be ready to surmount all opposition including your family either by convincing them or rail-roading your way but not by suppression of fact.

Also if she was married for only 24months out of which pregnancy would be for 9 months that mean she left the child at just barely a year of age. It will surely be a very serious matter for a woman to separate from her child of such age. Please probe further.

My dear friend pls dont make the same mistake i did. My life is a living hell, i thought i was doing the right thing, we started well in the first 2yrs of relationship, i made sure her daughter was kept secret frm my parents until we got married 3yrs ago. Immediately we got married she began showing her true colours. Pls dont rush into marrying her, try to know what went wrong in her previous marriage with that u may make headway cos in my case the problem of her previous marriage is what i'm facing now. Pls look very well b/4 u leap

i believe choosing a life partner is not just a day decision especially with a divorcee not a widow .think twice before you go for it cos if you dont take the right step you may end up regretting ur step , cos i believe marriage is a life decision.i pray god lord lead you to the right part

I dnat knw whether u r a christain or nt bt u r here 4 advice right,well i wnt 2 advice u frm d christain point of view.marriage is a beautiful union b/w a man n a wman n dat union was suppose 2 last 4ever until death do both involve part no matta d circumstances.what God ve join 2gada let no man put assunder,u see my brother,God hate divorce n also God hate any man dat will come b/w a married couple.am nt sayin dat u come b/w dat wman in questn wit her husband bt wat am sayin is dat God wnt u 2 help d wman's marriege survive instead of tryin 2 marry d wman frm her husband.inasmuch as d wman husband is still alive u shuldnt allow d wman 2 go ahead wit d divorce 2 marry u,if u do it means u r stealin frm anoda man.marriage is nt a bed of roses,those involve shuld learn hw 2 telorate eachoda afterall both of u agree 2 marry eachoda at d first place n even swore an oat in d presence of God to love n cheerish eachoda for betta or for worst until death do u both part.
Now my advice 2 u,if u cant convince d wman 2 stick to her husband wit her son den stay clear frm anoda man's wife,go n luk 4 u own.lets stop encouragn divorce as d western world those instead lets encourage marriages 2 telorate eachoda n live in peace.

Mr man,go in2 ya closet an pray 2 d almity God that creatd both f u.in him al things re possible.nw u dnt knw wat to do,kindly summit dis thing b4 God an he'll surely help u awt.but if u wana go ya own way f thinkin n mking ya own decision.i think that will be another prob to you cuz youll soon divorce her the second time..pray as never before..prayer is your answer now not anybody here on nairaland or thier whatsover post or comments..think twice bro and think

i guess the counsels you've got here are topclass.

A wiseman said, if you don't make the decision, someone else will.

it's decision making time.

wish you the best

Bomvastin: My dear friend pls dont make the same mistake i did. My life is a living hell, i thought i was doing the right thing, we started well in the first 2yrs of relationship, i made sure her daughter was kept secret frm my parents until we got married 3yrs ago. Immediately we got married she began showing her true colours. Pls dont rush into marrying her, try to know what went wrong in her previous marriage with that u may make headway cos in my case the problem of her previous marriage is what i'm facing now. Pls look very well b/4 u leap

I feel your pain bro. Thanks for sharing similar experience on same. I'll sure do as advised. Life is a teacher.

newcreatio: dude...i think you gotta be careful mehn...what city is this gurl from and what city does she live in now and what city are you from and what city do you live now.
My take, people aren't just divorced, did you hear da full story? perhaps the other dude's side? was cheating involved? how about her family? Did they support da divorce, if all this shit ain't properly investigated, you might be the victim of her 2nd chance...

so...watch it bro

We are from thesame state, even thesame local govt but she stays and works in Ibadan while I stay in Lagos. I understand your points bro. I'll wait and make some findings before my final conclusion. She can actually be hiding some things. It's pathetic, yet unfortunate.

gbenga007: I recently met a good primary school friend of mine lately on facebook. I made efforts to talk her into dating, considering her good childhood and upbringing. To my utter surprise, she confided to me that she was married and now divorced- although not legally yet, with a baby boy - still with the mother-in-law. I'm 27yrs, She's now 25 and the boy is less than 2yrs, got married just after her Bsc. She's a Master's student plus another professional course. Infact I make bold to mention that she was only unlucky. I really like her but she feels her type of woman, a single mother is not for the single, young unmarried guys but a divorcee perhaps. She even told me to have a serious date and keep her as 'plan B'. I dont want to treat her as a second option. I really like her, considering our old friendship and brilliance- among other things. I don't really see it as anything marrying her but she's feeling inadequate now and ish. We are both gainfully employed (6digits). What are the possible implications of my proposal to her? She had rushed to do the first wedding perhaps. Now she's more prepared and mature. She has learnt her lessons. Can you see it working?

,u knw naturally she'l doubt ur ability to handle situations mayb 4rm her past xperience,u nid to work on ur maturity to convince her of being d man,d way i luk @ it she dnt want to get usedup again so u hv to b patient to convince her but she's a lady & dnt mind dose shakara,she also want a replacement,but ask urself r u a good replacement?.

If you go for it, your heart will follow. So just be careful. If your family will not support it, then why bother?

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