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Stats: 2,037,087 members, 4,362,413 topics. Date: Thursday, 19 July 2018 at 12:50 PM
|Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by dayokanu(m): 5:38am On May 22, 2012|
WOuld you have called a man who was a bank manager or a Chevron worker a lazy person and denied him to marry your daughter?
As per your point, Some people dont just have the flair for business, their only way they know it is to save their money but when you lose your job like that the savings vanish sharply.
The man in my second example earlier was so rich his wife advised him to buy Kingway stores in Ikeja in the early 80's but he was like he didnt have any flair for business and ppl would just swindle him (Which I cant blame him for) His own idea of financial planning was to save and that couldnt last for more than 3yrs.
This man was so rich at that time that he had a mast in his house for phone calls and lived in the best area of Lagos whose neighbours were the AFRC generals during IBB's regime
|Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by kazman7(m): 5:47am On May 22, 2012|
CC & Ruth = women with good hearts,i am falling in luv already..how i wish these ladies are still single,i would have just tendered my application right away,meanwhile if either of you have a twin/junior sister who is loaded with the same program (runs on similar software package) please consider me a worthy brother in-law
|Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by redsun(m): 6:40am On May 22, 2012|
kazman7: CC & Ruth = women with good hearts,i am falling in luv already..how i wish these ladies are still single,i would have just tendered my application right away,meanwhile if either of you have a twin/junior sister who is loaded with the same program (runs on similar software package) please consider me a worthy brother in-law
This is not a love story,mind u. There are reasonable women every where but u have to be reasonable to attract them.
It is about how to free herself and her family from the economic slavery most africans suffers in oyinbo land. In other words,how to develop our own world,make the best of it and have enough to go round. Because as it is now,it is like having water everywhere and water to drink.
The western world has reached its peak economically,they are going anywhere further,unless of course they decide to raid undeveloped worlds like africa that we freely have at our disposal right now without knowing what to do with it,commandeered it and start all over again.
|Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by Nobody: 7:03am On May 22, 2012|
brabus: Thanks to everyone who has contributed to this wonderful thread.
I'm sorry but the above is nonsense. So God purposely made sure your sister and her husband are living hand to mouth as a testimony to His name? Your sister's case has nothing to do with God but everything to do with poor planning. So many people think that living in the white man's land is an automatic ticket to a good life... i was once one of those. My uncle had a chance to move his family to Scotland thru his wife's job... bobo was working as a small time manager at the Stock exchange then and he flatly refused despite the tearful pleas of his wife and members of the family. His argument - i am already established in a great job here, why go to Scotland where my degree is not recognised to sweep the floor all in the name of living "abroad"? Today? He had the last laugh! He is a big time manager in the stock exchange today... wifey is a top manager at Addax... has a home fully paid for in the US (comes here more times than we can count for vacation sef) and is living LARGE in naija.
What he had was foresight! Your sister and her husband lack it in spades which is why they are suffering today... quit blaming God.
Why shld your sister quit such a plum job for nothing in the UK?
|Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by violent(m): 7:08am On May 22, 2012|
jennykadry: Dayo, good examples but that is one reason why we Nigerians make make mistakes financially. How can a man who earns millions every month not have an investment on the side? When you get laid off work you cry foul. I know of many Nigerians who work in top oil companies like chevron who are landlords and estate owners. If their job disappoints them They have something to fall back on.
But we still can't ignore the fact that Life Happens! There are many people who invested heavily in the Nigerian stock market as an alternative source of income pre 07 and 08. If many of those people had retired or lost their jobs, it's very likely that their alternative source of income may now be unsustainable.
Many times we all just have to wait and see where the night takes us. I don't think people intentionally choose to struggle financially,... but when life throws Lemon, some make Lemonade, others end up with a swollen face!
|Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by Sweetlemon(f): 7:48am On May 22, 2012|
@OP, just hang in right there. if you are a practicing christian, you will also have the assurance of christ Jesus. Hold on to him and his promises.
Also try your best to manange and plan your spending ahead. With a masters degree, I don't see why you cannot get a more comfortable job (what country are you in?) That is where God comes in cos it could actually be spiritual! put in more efforts in your job search.
All things work together for God to they that believe.
|Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by melvournis(f): 8:42am On May 22, 2012|
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|Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by melvournis(f): 8:43am On May 22, 2012|
|Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by Gaggi: 8:47am On May 22, 2012|
I can see where David is coming from. Even I will not give my daughter out to a man without any solid source of income Abeg or plans for the future. I am married to a man who is a serious born again Christian Infact one that preaches sef for minutes during morning devotion but once morning devotion is over, the dude picks his keys and zooms off to go provide for his family. I took Leave without pay from work for a few weeks just to spend time with my family. If I was married to a man who carries his bible everyday instead of going out to look for work, You think i could afford such luxury of sitting at home and doing nothing?
Serious? Does he knw abt ur side job?
Your husband should be the one looking for solutions. I agree with all David said. Hw can a man be so relaxed and content to be living frm hand to mouth. U guys are better off relocating to ur village let oga roll up his sleves and take to farming. I respect u madam, i see the fire in u, the drive to be successful. Too bad you married a woman.
My advice to u is dat u should stop making excuses for the man. He is old, he has only a B.sc bla bla bla. Society doesn't take excuses. Pple work even 3 jobs just to make sure their families are comfortable. Tell hubby to wake his ass up and go slug it out.
|Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by mbulela: 9:04am On May 22, 2012|
violent:Reminds me of the Customs officer who was to retire during the stock market crisis. two months to his retirement,he lost 45million naira in the NSE and the next week El-Rufai razed his block of flats. He retired broke and deflated.
|Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by Nobody: 9:11am On May 22, 2012|
Dayo, not me her father would be the best person to answer that question. I don't think so, when I said solid source of income I am not talking about someone who earns 50 million per annum but someone who might earn much less but have got a back up plan for the future. People get sacked everyday in Nigeria, so you cannot rely on yor white collar job al the time. Contrary to popular belief, some of those Alaba boys are educated, one I know works in zenith bank @abule ado( the last time I checked) but has also got his thriving electronics shop at Alaba.
That man that refused To invest when his wife asked him to must have said "had I known". I repeat, the reason why some rich people in Nigeria cannot hold on to their wealth is lack of planning. Which kain yeye he has no flair for business, it's not about having a passion for something but doing something that will cover your azz later. If I was earning 2000 dollars a month as a doctor and was offered an opportunity to work in schlumberger as an engineer(training provided) and monthly income. 10000 dollars,, wilI I turn it down because I am not good at Maths and physics or because I'd rather continue practicing medicine because I was top notch in chemistry and biology back in the day? Would I take that engineering job to help my husband out who God forbid is struggling with two jobs when we can live with my income alone?
You don't have to have the passion For something before you do what's right. My fathers friend who used to work in Mobil VI was sacked from his work, this is a man that was making millions back in the day per month and was advised to invest on properties or anythin back then because he had the resources to, he completely refused giving the same excuse of I cannot do it because it is not my thing. He lost the company's house and had to move from the estate to isolo area.
My husband and I are working for our kids cos no child deserves To come into this world And pay for his parents sins borne out of stoopidity. We both don't rely on our jobs alone, we have casted out nets far into the sea cos none of us is willing to relocate back to the village or rely on our parents because we refused to shine our eyes.
|Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by brabus(m): 9:17am On May 22, 2012|
That's your view and congratulations to your Uncle. But if I could ask what else could a man with Phd blame if not fate? I've seen people without education making it big in life and some educated professors struggling to make ends meet.
The race is not to the swift. Beside, the story is inconclusive cos Abraham was 100 before he got a son. No be say Abraham no sabi b*ng Sarah. Na God!
|Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by Nobody: 9:35am On May 22, 2012|
OP.. Don't worri, u won't even know wen it'd get betta. U'll just hit it!
Wish u luck.
Ur ppl in naija go even dey xpect pounds.
|Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by maclatunji: 11:01am On May 22, 2012|
chaircover: Hmmmmm lIfe is not like that ooooo!
|Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by mbulela: 11:34am On May 22, 2012|
brabus:true talk my brother. Na God ordained b*nging that matters.
|Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by phyl123: 12:23pm On May 22, 2012|
having read through your thread, you have got loads of very good advice here. I felt i should add these few money saving tips. Based on information you said that you spend much of your income on transport. I know of a very close friend who had to travel into zone 1 for many years and then she discovered the overground and this cut her travel expensess by half as the main route of the overground doesn't pass through zone 1(most expensive zone). Even though she worked in zone one she came off at one of the overground stops and hopped on the bus for about 2 stops, sometimes she even walked it. About ten mins. The only disadvantage to her was that it added 15mins to her journey. The advantage is that she was able to save about £60 every month and the trains are not as packed as the underground.This may work for you depending on where you start your journey and also where you have got to get off in zone one and if you are not pressed for time at the end of your working day. You may give it a try for a week and see if its worth also. If you want you can let us know your entry and exit stations and i can let you know which are the most cos effective routes.
My second money saving tip and i am going to get lynched for this, but i will take the risk. This has got to do with your credit cards and based on my personal
experience. Only try this if you are able to pay off your balance every month. If this is not the case then do not try it. I have got only 2 credit cards one i got because i get discount for when i buy my petrol and points for my shopping, i make sure that any household expenses and some bills like the CT are put on this card the only time i dont use my credit card for purchases is when there is a charge as i dont believe in paying bank charges wnen you can avoid it. I have never paid a penny interest on any of my cards reason being i pay my outstanding balance in full and on time at the end of each month. At the end od the year depending on my expenses i get about £100 cash vouchers on each card which may seem little but i see it as money for doing nothing. Like i said this is not for everybody if you are struggling to pay your balance every month then this is not for you.
I hope this helps and i wish you and your family goodluck for the future and remember a little savings here and there adds up to make a big difference somewhere else.
Goodluck and God bless you.
|Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by webguru(m): 2:01pm On May 22, 2012|
Why not try offering a delivery service to Nigeria?
Offering Travel advice or Schools and Visa advice to people in Nigeria?
You know our people like the "Overseas" pasture.
Many don't know how to go about it.
You can help people who want to school over there, find out the best and cheapest schools. Cheapest accomodations.
Get accommodations, very cheap, or accommodate people coming from nigeria for a while.
Have everything documented though.
You know our people like parties, you could organise and bring artistes from Naija over there...
If your hubby can stay with the kids, then you can work weekends, just explain to them.
Life is in phases dear, trust me, it'll get better.
Hope you have given your life and attend church.
It will help you have the peace of mind you require.
God Bless You
|Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by Peterwins(m): 2:30pm On May 22, 2012|
Great thread! Whatever you or your husband decide to do, make sure you do not lose the happiness in your home. Continue to have a positive outlook towards life.
|Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by pauloman(m): 3:27pm On May 22, 2012|
dayokanu: David, Jenny.
Spot on bro for the scenerios u gave. It appears David and jenny were so well bred that they dont know how life can come with ups and down. I have been reading all the post here and i must appreciate the likes of CC and co that have been so encouraging to Ruths plight. All she needs at this point is loads of encouragement and not how mistaken she found herself in such a condition.
@op i must confess that u are a one a million kind of wife. I must commend ur supportive attitude to ur husbands plight and please pay very little attention to what the likes of David and others with him are saying as regards ur husband's condition . To me they are just being so unnecesarily judgemental because finding a good man and husband is not easy and besides money is not everything. What u are going through is not uncommon to what happens in marriages these days. There must be rough times so that u can appreciate the sweet times when it comes.
In life we fight through the tough times and try to plan better in the good times . No condition is permanent ! So be hopeful and stay very positive as there will always be a ray of bright light at the other end of the tunnel. Cheers!
|Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by dayokanu(m): 3:51pm On May 22, 2012|
The point is that regardless of the plan you make things can still happen. The Zenith banker with a Shop in Alaba can lose his job and within 6months, The Govt seize his container he borrowed to ship. Would you call that laziness or lack of planning?
The people who invested in properties, You know some ppl invested in Properties and El Rufai or AbdulKarim Adisa just sent bulldozers there one day and destroyed everything, Would you say they lacked planning?
What of people who invested heavily in the stock market and the recession swept away their money?
No one in the world is secured from shocks It can happen in Nigeria, It can happen in America
|Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by brabus(m): 5:06pm On May 22, 2012|
Nice one bro! Nobody knows what the future holds but we can trust who holds the future. It now depends on who or what holds our future (God or Man).
@OP, kindly look toward the future with hope regardless of life's disappointment and circumstances.
|Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by debosky(m): 5:19pm On May 22, 2012|
I understand what you're saying but that kind of arbitrary El Rufai or Adisa shocks can only happen in places like Nigeria.
At this point I think everyone agrees that shocks can occur - the key now is to provide useful advice to the OP on how to overcome the current struggles.
|Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by dayokanu(m): 5:26pm On May 22, 2012|
debosky: @ DK
Yeah El Rufai and Adisa can only happen in Nigeria but some other things happen elsewhere like the stock market crash,
People who invested in Enron, Lehmann Brothers, Maddoff some of them are professors, investment analysts etc.
Millions of Americans have seen their 401k and retirement go down in an twinkle of an eye, This probably forced some 70yr old retiree to go pick up jobs in walmart since their means of livelihood suddenly evaporated
Would you say they dont plan or were lazy.
The point I am making is for those chastising the woman for marrying such a lazy man who lacked intelligence and planning.
|Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by oyb(m): 5:58pm On May 22, 2012|
i was chatting with one of my colleagues yesterday
dude had like 5k in his account
said he didn't belive in allowing his money to lie fallow - had it in stocks etal
but get this - his money was he lost like 19 m in the stock market crash
i had invested only measly amounts, but in the end we are both on the same level
yeah its great to have a plan, but as has been said, you just do not know what can happen next
lehman etal i'm sure were full of peeps with 10 year plans
ditto for all those people who got screwed over when the values of their houses went into the toilet
another colleague says the same thing about how her husband lost lots of money in the stock market crash - it still burns the guy.
all one needs is bit of bad luck - lose your job and everything can go to shheeet so fast
a colleague was laid of some years back - they gave hi his gratuity, he had some land some businesses etal - a few years later he was dead broke and had sold everything. it was terrible.
|Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by temi777: 6:33pm On May 22, 2012|
@op I live in the UK. I came in my early twenties so I guess I dont have the same experience as your husband but my dear I think your husband has been
taking it too easy. I know a woman who only did cleaning for like 10 years, bought two houses in UK and 1 in Naija, with nearly 10 years of the mortgage now paid. Even if your husband is doing early morning cleaning self he will make far more than £400 net a week. I wont call him lazy but id say he is too laid back. He is 40+, so what I know 50+ that are changing careers, cant he do PGCE for one year and go and teach.
I earn £350 a day but I still have a minicab licence and I have PGCE so I am also licenced to teach because I know you never know in life.
He should get off his ass madam, learn plumbing or hairdressing. I pay my barber £10 for less than 30 minutes job and the guy is always blasting music, chatting and enjoying himself while working which is like fun self, sometimes even me that is IT guy I envy him. if your man is that good with his hands, even minicabbing will give him more than £400-£500 a week and free up more money you are using for childcare and transportation cost. that is easily an extra £500 or more a month as it is very flexible or even he can drive London bus. My dear your husband im afraid is lazy. Even when I was a student I earned more than £200 a week so he is making excuses.
haba! cant he do minicab by night and estate agent etc by day? incredible!
To say that he is proud is laughable. what is more humiliating than being broke? abeg owo igbe kii run. People will respect you in UK or Naija if you drive a brand new car(meant to say if you have your money) regardless how you made it. Naijas with fake pride, let him not ruin your children's future jare. if he even becomes a full west end taxi driver he is guaranteed £50000 a year which government cannot monitor. o ga o.
He should be too proud for £200 a week and besides stores jobs are for students/newcomers, they can never sustain a family
|Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by violent(m): 10:10pm On May 22, 2012|
haba! cant he do minicab by night and estate agent etc by day? incredible!
O'boy! I salute!
|Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by mgolo(m): 11:04pm On May 22, 2012|
Ruth...let me quickly let you know that your childhood expectation is a "presently" a mismatch for the prevailing economic situation in the Uk.
I am happy you have helped to let us know that both of you manage your finances very well. So thats a big problem solved in terms of discipline which many pple lack.
I am having a feeling,you will be going in cycles and get sucked into the Uk system which is not working for a lot of Nigerian people..
The biological clock ticks and your hubby might be getting tired with time.
I wish I could speak with you...something tells me both of you "would" do far better in Nigeria if you dont mind the initial shock of problem of nepa and what have you.
Many of my friends have found one thing or the other to do in Nigeria.
If you dont get a job,you can a little business or both and your man too.
It is your goal that matters and not the feeling that you have come back home.
The opportunities are more here now cos of huge population and the increase in foreign taste of the emerging middle class.
Of course...you must shine your eyes in business and purge yourself of the oyinbo mentality.
Just think like the indians in Nigeria,,, just joking.
And please do your research of what nigerians need and what opportunities available to you and hubby in Uk that you can bring to Nigeria to make a difference especially in the areas of service business whiuch you can do from your flat before you add product business much late or both.
Get relevant skills blue collar both of you.
Of course, you may get a paid employment in addition.
And of course work had to get a honest friend to give rough estimate money to spend for 1yr excluding rent as you take off gradually.
Am not coherent typing this...
Lastly, the subtle "spiritual issue" might be waved aside here in NL but it may be for real. And if not. Thank God.
Pray to ascertain all.very important otherwise it could be like pouring water into a basket with large sieves.
Test all things...there or here before you embark on any action.
I enjoy NL and the pranks and serious issues.
Am in my 50's
Please pray for direction...may not be mine though
|Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by Nobody: 12:50am On May 23, 2012|
My father quit his job midway with no plan B. It marked 9 yrs of sometimes having no food to eat to not being able to pay school fees. My mother had to go back to school to move up the ladder in her career and bring more money into the family pot. Been down in the valley before so i know what it means to live hand to mouth... it was HELL with a capital H. "loads of encouragement" was not what got us through the hard times but the steely determination in my mother's eyes that even if she had to starve, her kids will not suffer the consequences of poorly made choices.
My dear, life offers you 2 choices - sink or swim. Make your choice.
|Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by Nobody: 12:56am On May 23, 2012|
temi777: @op I live in the UK. I came in my early twenties so I guess I dont have the same experience as your husband but my dear I think your husband has been
My bros na you biko. My people here are busy quoting bible. Make i quote my own bible for them - 2 Thessalonians 3:10 For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.
|Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by Nobody: 5:48am On May 23, 2012|
What is the probability of someone losing both shop(s) and White collar job at the same time in Nigeria? what is the probability of someone losing his white collar job in Nigeria? and if they do, how many of them have so much money in their accounts saved up to start them back on their feet again? or are you going to give an example of how a bank stole the money of someone you know?
It is only In Nigeria that people lack fine managing skills. I repeat cast your net into the sea and let one try catch millions of fishes that your boat cannot contain.
|Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by Nobody: 5:58am On May 23, 2012|
It appears nothing. I have seen men who refuse to go into care work because they think they are too big to clean white people's bum bum. Meanwhile these men are still jobless, some have jobs of 4 hours a week, leaving their wifve to fend for the whole family. Life has ups and downs alright but good planning will make your way easy. Someone said here that his brother or so lost his job because God wanted it so. . . . Which God? how do we know that was God's plans? The same God that sent his only son into this earth, made him poor that we will be rich, he was homeless so that we all will have a roof over our heads. Is it this same God that will not want the best for his children?
Last year or the year before, a NLDER in the travel section gave up his high paying Job because he wanted to travel to canada or so, it later did not work out and I just could not believe how daft some Nigerians are. You had a good job and you decided to leave it behind for obodo oyibo?how silly.
You know what? Nigeria will be a better place the minute we Nigerians start taking responsibility for our actions/mistakes/stpidty e.t.c. Reminds me of our neighbor in Nigeria, He used to say "It's the devils work- na devil cause am-devil plans no go work for my life-" Make una leave devil alone and stop blaming him for wetin him do and wetin him no do, no be when you invite am him go carry that him k-leg enter ya house? Most of the time na you be the architect of your own problem stop blaming others". . .
|Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by brabus(m): 8:13am On May 23, 2012|
@Masterplanner, Peter is a great fisherman, yet Luke 5:5 had it in record and I quote "Master, we've toiled all the night, and we have taken nothing..."
We have graduates roaming the streets without a job, haven't they worked. Bros go sitdown and be more realistic with life jare.
For those discrediting God, my sister now had a house in Manchester, UK and still kept her family. The same God that asked Abraham to leave his father's land to the land he'll show him.
I knew if the story had been that my sister had the best qualification and worked as top manager in UK, you would have claimed she had a better plan for her life. Na God dey do am! Its not my sister.
I've never asked the OP to sit down and keep expecting manna from heaven but my point is that she shouldn't lean on her own understanding.
With God, all things are possible.
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