zubike01: "DON'T JOIN" is a Thriller.Uche a young man Joins a violent cult gang out of pressure. When his passionate affair with his friends girl friend leads to a fracas. This book is action packed and definitely a must read for every novel lover.

The Nigerian university environment is a zone in which the most rugged takes it all. Oppression, violence and intimidation are its characteristics. it is governed by unwritten laws and ruled by cult gangs. These were the forces that pushed Uche around till he decided it was time for him to brace up and join the ‘men’ in their treacherous and nefarious adventures where nothing is gained apart from pain, fear and bloodshed. This book is an eye opener which would enable you experience the nitty-gritty of this filthy environment in all its glory’ from a safe distance through Uches eyes and leave you with only one ultimate advice – ‘DON’T JOIN.’

[url]see preview[http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008PUCNDO] [url]like on facebook[http://www.facebook.com/pages/Dont-JOIN/388942974500182]

dude, go to literature/writing, at the beginning of the list of threads, you'll see "create new topic" among other links, click on it and run your advert. That way, you won't come across as an annoying parasite and rude interrupter of running conversations.

Ishilove:
Vicky asked ID if she would like to use spe.rm in lieu of bama to eat bread.....gross!!!!

***Runs to the toilet and retches violently!...***

Na me find trouble, I for nor ask

Ishilove:
Dude, go advertise your sh*t on someone else's thread!

Ishi, click on the "report" link and ask the moderators to hide the post, as it distracts readers from the main story here.

Ihedinobi:

uuuuugh... yewwwwww.........that's grossing me out like agh.........<throwing up breakfast and dinner>

look @ dis Guy. are u gay or what? why would u even consider it..;P

LONELINESS.

It is a terrible thing. It can drive a person to the edge of dementia. It can make one cook all manner of evil in the laboratory of one's heart. It can even make a mentally stable person seriously contemplate suicide. Add boredom to the mix and you have a recipe for unbelievably outstanding mischief and disaster.

In Wasimi, this deadly combo were my constant companions and inevitably, I bowed down to their promptings.

My 'adventure' with Chairman had temporarily driven thoughts of escape from my mind and for a few weeks I was able to concentrate on my students' academic needs.

Now my students were in a class of their own. The males had cocoa farming on their minds and their greatest ambitions were to build cocoa empires that would surpass that of 'Egi Momoh' ( 'Egi' is a sort of title for adult men).

Momoh was my employer who had a VERY modest cocoa trading business and only managed Kind Comprehensive College,Wasimi on the side. His elder brother had been the original owner of the school but he was tragically killed while helping some children cross the fairly busy Ondo-Akure expressway a few years before I arrived at Wasimi. Momoh successfully ran the school down, but that is a tale for another time.

The females on the other hand had stellar ambitions of becoming 'Iya so so and so', or 'Aya so so and so' and even while I was still there some managed to accomplish this 'great' ambition.

The children of Wasimi had wonderful visions indeed, so they attended school just to fulfill all righteousness. Us bloody corpers with our paper degrees could go stick our education up our collective khakied heinies, didn't we know they were going to surpass Egi Momoh who lived in the wooden storey building someday?? Didn't we know they would marry Egi so and so and give birth to Mimiko's successor?

Only a few amongst them took classwork seriously, but a vast majority of them, the most intelligent girl in the school inclusive had set their sights on some muscular farmer gentlemen whom they were sure would make good mentors and good husbands. The most intelligent girl in the school, fifteen year old Nnenna was a great dissappointment because she eventually ran off before my service year was over to go and 'settle down' with her twenty-year old apprentice vulcaniser boyfriend in Ondo town. Her mother had seen the signs before hand and had come to our quarters weeping and begging us her teachers to help her counsel Nnenna. Uba 'Ubanezzy', the only corp member of Igbo extraction took it upon himself to counsel the wayward teen and did so in the staff room for close to an hour.

Yours Truly tried in vain to eavesdrop, but they had been speaking some very conk igbo dialect so I could not make out what they had discussed, but whatever Uba said obviously hadn't made any impression in Nnenna's mind because a few weeks later, she performed a hijrah to Ondo town. What a waste, such an intelligent girl. . . Intelligence isn't always enough I guess.

With Nnenna gone, we were left with the er, 'challenged' students like Jacintha Okoro and her ilk. A very dull bunch these set of students were. I will never forget a certain day John 'JP Da Josman' Christopher screamed in the staffroom, scaring the bejeezus out of all us.

"JP, wetin happen na?!?" Azeez 'Azeezma' Hassan had wheezed out in alarm. JP screamed again, and it finally dawned on us that JP was screaming in laughter. What was the cause of JP's mirth? JP who handled agricultural science and economics had given the SSI students a test and as usual the kids had murdered the test. Jacintha Okoro, who was probably the dullest student in the entire school performed spectacularly woefully in Economics, but her agric science script was the inspiration behind John's paroxysm of laughter. One of the questions in the test had asked:

"What is heat period in animals?"

Our Jacintha (spelt 'Jecinter' by Miss Okoro herself) had confidently answered:

"Heat period is when a male and woman comes together for joiking" .

(Heat period, in a manner of speaking, IS a period of 'joiking' ).

Pretty Jacintha was very confident about her answer because young as she was, 'joiking' was one of the very few things she was extremely good at. The neighbourhood boys gave glowing testimonies to her skill and expertise in this area, and even our own Azeez had received tutorials from her. The shameless Azeez had alleged that she had bested him on every side. How apalling.

(Earlier this year I sent the question and answer as a text message to JP. John, now happily married and living in Jos had called back immediately. He brayed manaically with laughter in my ears for about a minute or so before dropping the call and calling back some minutes later after he had composed himself )

In biology, Azeez had his own share of laughter.
One of the questions had gone thus:

"What is a ruminant?"

A student, a male this time (I forget his name) had written:

"A ruminant is when you have four spinal cords"


At the junior level, one of the questions had asked:

"List the methods of fish preservation you know".

Rabiat Mohammed in Jss 1 wrote:
1) In Baikin
2) In Kajola
3) In Wasimi
4) In Obondo

(these places are the sorrounding villages close to Wasimi)

I handled CRK,government and literature,and in that particular test, I had asked the junior class what manna had tasted like and they unanimously agreed on pounded yam! (Months later another group of students opted for fufu, but that is a tale for another time. The thought of God raining down mounds of fufu and pounded yam on the hapless Isrealis in the wilderness always makes me shake my head in wonder at these kids).




I really have to take a break now. Need to charge my phone and crack my knuckles .

And perhaps text JP again,its been quite a while

BoboYekini: look @ dis Guy. are u gay or what? why would u even consider it..;P

Geez!!! Dude, disgusting talk is disgusting talk! Come to think of it, why does that kind of talk not gross you out?

Awesome!!! I just got stomped wondering how Igbo people came to be in Wasimi. As backwater as it is, how the hell did peoples other than core Ondo come to know of the town and even settle there?

I enjoyed it thoroughly

Ihedinobi: Awesome!!! I just got stomped wondering how Igbo people came to be in Wasimi. As backwater as it is, how the hell did peoples other than core Ondo come to know of the town and even settle there?

I enjoyed it thoroughly

Thanks: Though it reads like fiction,it happened live.

Where won't you find Igbo people?

Ishilove:
Thanks: Though it reads like fiction,it happened live.

Where won't you find Igbo people?

Right Where indeed?

Beautiful piece you've got up there Ishi!

Loved the use of humour in your write up too. Kudos girl!!

Now my students were in a class of their own. The males had cocoa farming on their minds and their greatest ambitions were to build cocoa empires that would surpass that of 'Egi Momoh'
.
.
.
Only a few amongst them took classwork seriously, but a vast majority of them, the most intelligent girl in the school inclusive had set their sights on some muscular farmer gentlemen whom they were sure would make good mentors and good husbands.



Classic stuff! Well done girl...

very nice ishi.

Thanks Efe, I'm just trying to be like you

BoboYekini: very nice ishi.

Thanks dear, much appreciated

Wow! Mind blowing.
U said it & u did it. Thanks a lot.
U've made my day with this. Pls update ASAP.

*** I called JP's number to catch up on old times. His madam picked. I borrowed myself brain and quickly cut the call ***

As I was saying. . .

Though the students' classwork and assignments provided some sort of comic relief for us corpers, it wasn't enough to satisfy my deep yearning for "more". I felt as if I had stopped living and was merely existing. I have always been a restless spirit; I have always wanted to travel the world alone and see sights that will dazzle my senses in an explosion of colours.

I had being cooped up all my life in Lagos; birth, residence and education, all in Lagos. For the first time in my life I was leaving home and nothing in this world was going to stop me, so when my folks had wanted to work my redeployment back to Lagos when I was in camp, I stubbornly and consistently foiled all their attempts.

Wasimi was the reward for my stubborn determination.

Whenever I called home to bemoan my 'condition', my elder sister would laugh into my ears and declare expansively, " I think you want to see the world, abi? Oya sit in front of your mud hut and watch cars passing. Its part of seeing the world!!"

Life in Wasimi merged into one long, mind numbing, monotonous struggle to avoid that black hole called Dementia. Same routine, different days, or like rapper Method Man said, "same sheeit, different day".

Get woken up by the blare from my next neighbour's mega Kchibo radio, 6.30am
prompt.

Say my prayers

Get ready for school.

Go to school and talk myself hoarse in front of a bunch of kids who didn't give a rat's mangy asss about what this Aunty Corper was blabbing about.

Squint at barely legible handwritings and puzzle out what the students were trying to tell me in assignments and classwork written in 'Engli-igbo' and 'Engli-yoruba' language.

Make way back to my humble ('humble' is actually an understatement) abode by 3.30pm.

Doze fitfully for a couple of hours if the blazing Ondo sun would allow it.

Sit outside by 6.pm and despondently wait for Iya oni fufu (fufu seller) to pass by to buy my daily ration of fufu, while at the same time keeping an eye out for my neighbour's pesky four legged thief of a nanny goat who had an obssessive fondness for my waste bin, and fighting off the relentless onslaught on my skin by the ubiquitious sunflies.

Assemble with the rest of the guys in Ubaneezy's room by 7.30 to squabble over charging space for my phones.

Make my weary way back to my room by 10pm to rage at the heavenlies over my "imprisonment" in Wasimi.

Fall asleep mid-rant.


Get woken up at 6.30 am by conk Yoruba music from neighbour's small but mighty radio.

Whole vicious cycle of mind numbing, soul destroying, dementia inducing monotony repeats itself.

On and on it went. No respite, no variation. I was so terribly lonely and unhappy, sometimes secretly shedding a FEW tears to lessen the weight of the terrible yearning in my heart. Loneliness and desperate boredom inspired my 'adventure' with Chairman.

Loneliness inspired another 'adventure' few weeks after the Chairman incident.

Ishi love, why the sad face?

I don talk am plenty-plenty say your write-up is goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood!!!

Now pick up your pen / laptop abi na phone? and keep up the good work babes

zubike01: "DON'T JOIN" is a Thriller.Uche a young man Joins a violent cult gang out of pressure. When his passionate affair with his friends girl friend leads to a fracas. This book is action packed and definitely a must read for every novel lover.

The Nigerian university environment is a zone in which the most rugged takes it all. Oppression, violence and intimidation are its characteristics. it is governed by unwritten laws and ruled by cult gangs. These were the forces that pushed Uche around till he decided it was time for him to brace up and join the ‘men’ in their treacherous and nefarious adventures where nothing is gained apart from pain, fear and bloodshed. This book is an eye opener which would enable you experience the nitty-gritty of this filthy environment in all its glory’ from a safe distance through Uches eyes and leave you with only one ultimate advice – ‘DON’T JOIN.’

[url]see preview[http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008PUCNDO] [url]like on facebook[http://www.facebook.com/pages/Dont-JOIN/388942974500182]

why derailing the thread and where is this post btw.

was it deleted?

ishi
it better be a risque adventure this time. titillate me abeg

Correeeeeeect!!!!!!!!!!!!

nwa,make d tori dey roll na,nthn does u.i realy admire ur sense of humour,gals with such ar quite rare

i must say that you are a very talented lady. i've read quite a lot of novels and it takes a lot to impress me but i must say that you outdid yourself. to write with such skill, it being a true story for that matter. you too much abeg.*subscribed*. keep em coming. . .

Efemena_xy: Ishi love, why the sad face?

I don talk am plenty-plenty say your write-up is goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood!!!

Now pick up your pen / laptop abi na phone? and keep up the good work babes

It isnt a sad face; its an embarassed face.

tpia@:


why derailing the thread and where is this post btw.

was it deleted?

You cant find it becos the post has been moved. All hail the mod

ichiezubby: nwa,make d tori dey roll na,nthn does u.i realy admire ur sense of humour,gals with such ar quite rare

brokoto: i must say that you are a very talented lady. i've read quite a lot of novels and it takes a lot to impress me but i must say that you outdid yourself. to write with such skill, it being a true story for that matter. you too much abeg.*subscribed*. keep em coming. . .

thanks, much appreciated. I'm a bit busy now but i'll update asap

BoboYekini: ishi
it better be a risque adventure this time. titillate me abeg

Lol. Oniranu. E risque small sha

Ihedinobi: Correeeeeeect!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nwoke,daalu

I came back from school early. When I entered my room, I flopped on my bed like a sack of gari and ignoring the tiny chunks of mud that had fallen of the wall unto my bedsheet, rolled restlessly on the well worn mattress like a ship in distress.

In a way, I was a ship in distress. I had been sorely provoked by Egi Momoh because I was a little late to school. Okay wait, let me be honest here, I was more than a little late... I was roughly an hour late but hey, I had spent a sleepless night fighting off a particularly determined rat,so when my alarm clock,i.e, my neighbour's Kchibo radio had blared my morning wake-up call, I had simply hissed and gone back to sleep.

Somehow I managed to stumble out of bed by 8.45am and made my bleary way to school by 9.45am, and was welcomed at the entrance of the staff room with the depressing sight of Momoh's granite face. He proceeded to give me a thorough washing down in thick,Ondo flavoured Engli-Yoruba before dismissing me.

Incensed, I dumped my battered handbag on my white plastic seat at the corner of the staff room, grabbed my lesson note and stomped to the class I was having. I can't remember what the lesson was about, but I clearly remember transferring the aggression on the students and,O the wickedness,I even flogged Jacintha on her tiny buttocks with an improvised switch.

Being in a bad mood and snapping at everyone, The Guys avoided me and it was just fine by me.

I got to my room earlier than usual and discovered my gari had been desecrated by the same rat I thought I had successfully fended off. My irritation grew as I lay on my sandy matress thinking about what I was going to have for dinner since my gari had been ra.ped. I decided there and then to go to the Ondo main market since it wasn't too late to get a fresh supply,as well use the opportunity to buy other things I needed.

I got my trusty NYSC cap from where it hung on a nail on the mud wall, changed from my sensible skirt to a pair of navy blue pant trousers that did nothing to flatter my figure. According to my Big Sis, "my hips are lying" and my butt is non-existent but I do have an 'interesting' looking face".

So I covered my interesting looking face with my 'gofinment' cap, wore my senseless pant trousers (afterall na market manpikin dey go) with a plain wine-coloured blouse, shod my feet with a pair of' knock-about' Moses sandals, tipped my bent glasses (bent out of shape ever since I stepped on it in my insane rush to murder the goat that had so frightened me once upon a night) up my nose, slung my knock-about hand bag across my shoulders and made my way to the expressway where I spent fifteen minutes futilely trying to hitchike ( hey don't blame me, the government allowee back then was just too damn small! ).

Perhaps I shouldn't have worn this trousers after all. . .

When I got tired of waiting for free ride, I reluctantly boarded a jalopy cab to town.

I made a lot of purchases, and I remember in particular a blue coloured basket for my plates because it was very awkward to handle. When I was done, sometime around past four in the afternoon, I took a cab to Akure garage and trekked part way down the expressway, a little distance after Mimiko junction. This junction is so named because the junction leads to the governor's residence in Ondo. I chose to trek because it would be cheaper to board a cab outside the garage.

So there I stood with my purchases at my feet, my nysc cap pulled down to shield my interesting looking face from the sun, waiting for a cab and generally minding my own business when I beheld a government convoy approaching.

Convoys are a common sight so I paid no attention to it. The convoy passed by and stopped a few metres from where I stood sweating in the afternoon heat.

I still did not pay any attention to it.

However, I began to pay attention when about a minute later a man emerged from one of the cars in the convoy and motioned to me.

"Me?? ",asked I incredulously,my myopic eyes blinking rapidly behind my thick lenses.

"Yes you,corper,you!", the man barked irritatedly. It seemed like they had been waiting for me to approach them but I hadn't gotten the clue.

I picked up the bulky bags containing my purchases and my awkward blue basket and feeling very much like a market woman chasing a meat van, ran pell mell to the vehicle from whence the beckoning man had emerged from.

When I got to the vehicle, he motioned for me to wait. The windows were tinted so I couldn't see the interior. When he opened the door I instantly felt the chill from the car's air conditioner rising from its dark depths to caress my heated skin.

I pushed my cap up, adjusted my glasses, craned my neck down and beheld the grinning face of The Honourable...

hmmm

You just had to remind me to shut my mouth with which I was catching flies while reading You wicked o Finish dis tin na, u want make my blood pressure de on top roof?

You too mush abeg.... wit ya interest-lukluk face ni

Ishi, you too much abeg! Never knew a lady cud write so well, esp a Nigerian babe at that! Me thought all dat interested them was pinging and stuff... Ur descriptions bout the Sandflies, Rats and goats reminds me of my time in Benue state... Someday, I'l tell dat tale.

Ishi, you too much abeg! Never knew a lady cud write so well, esp a Nigerian babe at that! Me thought all dat interested them was pinging and stuff... Ur descriptions bout the Sandflies, Rats and goats reminds me of my time in Benue state... Someday, I'l tell dat tale. Ishi, you too much abeg! Never knew a lady cud write so well, esp a Nigerian babe at that! Me thought all dat interested them was pinging and stuff... Ur descriptions bout the Sandflies, Rats and goats reminds me of my time in Benue state... Someday, I'l tell dat tale.

Ihedinobi: You just had to remind me to shut my mouth with which I was catching flies while reading You wicked o Finish dis tin na, u want make my blood pressure de on top roof?

You too mush abeg.... wit ya interest-lukluk face ni

Aww,I am so humbled. Thank you very much for appreciating my work. I will update asap becos I'm very busy at the moment

Santi222: Ishi, you too much abeg! Never knew a lady cud write so well, esp a Nigerian babe at that! Me thought all dat interested them was pinging and stuff... Ur descriptions bout the Sandflies, Rats and goats reminds me of my time in Benue state... Someday, I'l tell dat tale.

Tell it o, becos as I write more memories keep flooding back

Thanks for the vote of confidence, much appreciated