Hello Everybody, Please I need your advice on my relationship,


I will be settling down very soon, so I met a young lady in my church, I proposed to her, but she hasnt agreed, she told me she would need to pray on my name and her parents too would need to do that.


So her parents went ahead and prayed on 3 names she provided for them, and my name was selected has God's will for her, but the problem now is this, she said she doesnt love me, and the person she loves, is one of the other guys whose name wasnt selected when prayed upon.

She told me to look for another girl or even we should be ordinary friends


I have met with the parent, the mother to be precise i told her about what her daughter told me , but she told me to neglect that, that her daughter must surely marry me, cos i am the one selected by prayer.

The mother even went to the extent of calling me when she was with the pastor that prayed on the name, and the pastor also told me to be patient that the girl will finally marry me.


But this girl is not responding very well to me, although she picks my calls, and we do talk attimes

Please what should I do, her mum is assuring me that i would be the one to marry her, that i should just be patient , but the daughter is telling me that she doesnt love me...


I need your advice, what should I do? should i be patient like they said , or I should look for another lady to be in relatinship with,


Please ur urgent advice would be appreciated.

Thanks

pls advice me, dont just read and go, thanks

Your girl doesn't really love u,u will not marry her mum,my dear it takes two to tangle,pls don't force her,if u eventually marry her she would treaat u like shit.let her be,look for someone who loves u in return.love shouldn't be onesided oo.

Thanks sexyshe, but this gal we are talking about here is a cameleon so to say, she changes everytime, attimes she would do as if she loves me, and attimes she would behave otherwise, I am even confused, and I also love the girl.

or is there any possibility that she might love me later due to the pressure her family would put on her?

Matter of factly, you cannot force anyone to love you. Cos you'll only come across as being obssessive and suffocating as well. You can only make them fall for you on their own volition, by giving them the time enough to see and know how awesome you are, if you're awesome at all to yourself.
She's like chameleon, bah? Good. Then let her go, my guy. If she loves you back, she'll always come back to you. Or isn't that what the old adage says?

That your thread isn't about her having two others on the sideline all this while sef, that she still has not chucked out yet is.......hmmmnph. 3 potentials in the running...Na from Next sales she get una?

The so-called prayers' all good but, If i were the girl and i succumb due to pressure,while loving someone else, i'll cry every single day and hate you with every nerve in my body. If i were you,i'll give her time,i.e,afta talking tinz thru. If it aint working,stop pushing.take a walk.

Dude, you got this all wrong. This is taking religion way too seriously. That is not the way to go about convincing someone to marry you.
First of all, consider this, the lady is quite deceitful. She knew the guy she wanted, and also knew she would go for him whether or not 'prayers' choose him or not.
Why are you so desperate for this girl? Are you so poor/non-charismatic/no game that you can't get another lady and you are so keen on this very one.
Would you like the girl to marry you and then cheat on you with any of the other two guys on the side?
All you need to know is this: she is not into you. Go find someone else that will appreciate you.


PS: sorry I don't have the time to organize my thots right now.
Good luck

This issue is simple. Fir the fact that she even had two other guys is first of all, annoying. The girl does not love you do you do you need a pastor to tell you that? Go look for another babe in your church or better still, MARRY HER MOTHER

@OP ...I have just one question to ask you, and if the answer is No, then forget about the girl...can you force a horse to drink water?

thank you all

I lost my GF 8yrs into our relationship because some creepy pastor prayed over some names and mine was not picked. We still f--ked ourselves even up till this evening but she still insist we are not meant to marry each other. Never fall for this prayer stuff infact picking the ballot is far better than this crap.

@ alextayo, lol, you are the badest guy,

I am not a bad guy, i am only reaping the fruit of my labour after investing for 8 years. Pastor only says we cant marry but didnt say we cant f--k. The fact that she has other names to pray over shows that she is not faithful and can never be faithful.

You are not going to marry her mum, so what are you waiting for?

Tyche: You are not going to marry her mum, so what are you waiting for?

If the mother is available hey, he can/should go for her

Mynd_44:
If the mother is available hey, he can/should go for her

lolz. After the normal prayers.

Tyche:

lolz. After the normal prayers.

no need for the prayers. He has been declared "husbandable"

ok, i read this and i thought about going all ballistic on you about Nigerian Christianity, "pastors", Idolistic mentality, and so forth; But i'll just shut up.
Since you are a christian, the answer should be staring you right in the face but i'll spell it out to you though. Fast and Pray to God about this girl. Is she who God has chosen for you?? If His answer is yes, we both know you would have no reason to open this thread.

@clem d poster; abeg no vex say i go ask u dis question,u don bleep am?if 'Yes' den na ur fault, if d answer is 'No' abeg no loose 2 wayz men,find a way bleep am wella-wella,,den tell am say u go 9t vigil dem come tell u say she get 'ogbanje'.then u move front join us inside,, d transfer market we go c another one.GOD DEY.

OP go and look for your wife some where else.
The lady is hooked on something. Guess she had somebody in mind, and want to use prayer as excuse. I prefer adults taking their own decisions, and not hiding under religious mantra.

@shollypoz, i am in strong support of your view because i have the same mentality when it comes to Nigerian pastors and the way they handle christianity. Lazy men under the guise of pastors now dictates our life for us and we follow them like sheep. Love is a thing of the heart and people should marry whoever their heart goes with. Let us stop listening to all these business men who calls themselves pastors, they have done more harm than when it comes to relationship issues.

op,
were u guys even datin or u just walked up to her and proposed cos u think yu saw her in a church and she might be a good girl?
no one will take my name to any pastor for any prayer unless i dont know. for Gods` sakes, from de story yu just told us, dere is no konnektions beween u guys.

i wonder how boring and loveless yur home would be if yu get married to her.
pls take a walk and forget that lady cos u sure wouldnt like de endpoint if u insist.

goodluck!!!

If u love her (as in..true love) give her little time to adjust, spend time with her, attend 2 her needs (not necessarily financial), n be a true friend. If shes not really hot 4 u, free her!

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You need deliverance. If you have noting good to do today, go back to bed

You say she change , and at times she appear in luv with you,
Have you ever notice that she appear in luv when she expect you to be generous , I'm sure 'He is caring' would be one of her descriptions for you

Women mind are flexible, they can love thousands of men but good ones wil only luv one permantly until she was heartbroken and show d way out of luv 4rm d man. So there might b sum gud qualities d other guys has u dont show, she loves u and nt dat she is a camelon. Anytim u do sumtin she likes she recipocate wit her lov and dat she never miss ur cals shows same. Pls be a gud gentle and caring man, discusd wit her, sugest 2her, perceived problems u notice/ask her wat troubles her mind and provid reasonable solutn, always confirm ur lov 2her, .... She nid 2build d lov 4u not catch it. Let c 3mths, if der is no noticeable positive changes, pls step aside b4 finally opting out.

Followed ur heart dude

Hello my guy. my candid advice for you is to leave her for a while. It might be a month, two or three. She behaves like that because you run after her. U can just allow her to be. When she notices that, provided she truely has feeling for you, she will come back. Then u can start giving her gifts, calling her, etc. Also watch your dressing, breaths, body hygiene, etc. Be sure you do use body spray, put on good clothes, be refined in your speeches, etc. Pls these are little things that count.

If you really love her let me give you some advice...don't force her. If you know want her without a doubt and none of these advices to leave her alone is what you want to here then this is what you should do.... LEAVE HER ALONE!
Don't call her, don't pick her calls, when you see her be cordial not happy. Don't ask after her. Keep yourself fresh looking and smelling good, happy and confident. The first month or two she may be like o...finally he gets it. Then she'll reach out to you, when she does don't go like a fish on a hook. Act like your life is busy, but don't say it in a way that appears rude on nonchalant. Just be yourself no matter how you feel on the inside. She will come to you wanting to "test" you and see if you're putting up a fake persona and if you're really hiding the fact that you're madly in love with her. Stay cool, don't give in...do this a good three months after she comes to you with this "test". Maybe even date women you don't really like just to stay busy. Women always want what's a challenge tho we never admit it. Don't "break up" with any chick because she now realizes she wants to be with you, then she will say to herself "gotcha", and think she is still the object of your entire world. In time when you are "free" she will want you so bad. Never fails...unless you aren't handsome, have no potential that is noticeable, or a jerk in character you'll have her. Goodluck hun...

I get confused with 'Nigerian Love'. I see this in churches and clearly depicted in Nollywood movies. U walk to a girl and be 'loving' her immediately. Just cos u are attracted doesn't mean u are in love. Y'all need to chill with the way u throw the word love up and down. Guys will be hanging in Uni and spot one chic they think is hot and be like "guys, do u know that girl over there? Who is she? I think I love her!". Like seriously?!

Dude get to know the girl. Go on dates and if she doesn't want, look elsewhere. All this pastor said, pastor said is BS! Find ur thing yourself. Naija, we pray the most and do the least. My point is don't let religion dictate for you bruh!