tatiana009:

I know people with terminal illnesses who are happy, of course initially one will experince some saddness but what you choose to do about it afterwards is up to you. You can choose to wallow in self-pity or decide that no matter the number of days you have left you'll make the best of it. Most of the time we have no control over our environment or even circumstances but we always have control over how we react to whatever situation we find ourselves in

No they aren't happy. If you asked them if they wished to be in that state forever, they will definitely reject you. Coping and managing your present condition doesn't mean you're content and happy with it.

joeydozzy:

no I don't think so cos you create your environment and bring out its conditions

No you don't.
I remember the story of Job in the bible, he was a happy man. He was wealthy and healthy, had children and servants etc. Then Satan struck! He lost his children, wealth and was inflicted with destructive disease.
He became sad, his happiness ( his health, wealth, and children) has been taken away from him. If you were in his situation, you wouldn't be happy.
Your happiness depends on two factors; internal and external.

fluid26:

It is not totally true. People, events and circumstances have strong effects on your happiness.

The mind is an amazing thing. However, it does not stand alone. It feeds off a myriad of variables.

The mind is subjective no doubt, but it's subject to itself mostly. The way you perceive things is the main determinate of how you react to situations. You can chose whether or not you want to be happy regardless of what people events and circumstances throw at you this is the whole point.

People are in more control than they realise.

401kk:

No you don't.
I remember the story of Job in the bible, he was a happy man. He was wealthy and healthy, had children and servants etc. Then Satan struck! He lost his children, wealth and was inflicted with destructive disease.
He became sad, his happiness ( his health, wealth, and children) has been taken away from him. If you were in his situation, you wouldn't be happy.
Your happiness depends on two factors; internal and external.

Job is an interesting story, however i'm not too sure if he was saddened by the loss or because the loss indicated God has turned His back on job?

I mean, i've always wondered how on earth he could be comforted by getting a new family? You can't replace your family? One of the weirdest stories in the Bible. . . . .anyways
So I imagine, Jobs happiness could have been dependent on his relationship with God rather than the earthly pleasures he enjoyed.

401kk:

No you don't.
I remember the story of Job in the bible, he was a happy man. He was wealthy and healthy, had children and servants etc. Then Satan struck! He lost his children, wealth and was inflicted with destructive disease.
He became sad, his happiness ( his health, wealth, and children) has been taken away from him. If you were in his situation, you wouldn't be happy.
Your happiness depends on two factors; internal and external.

Well said especially at the bolded part.

queensmith:

Job is an interesting story, however i'm not too sure if he was saddened by the loss or because the loss indicated God has turned His back on job?

I mean, i've always wondered how on earth he could be comforted by getting a new family? You can't replace your family? One of the weirdest stories in the Bible. . . . .anyways
So I imagine, Jobs happiness could have been dependent on his relationship with God rather than the earthly pleasures he enjoyed.

Well said because that is another way of looking at it.

401kk:

No you don't.
I remember the story of Job in the bible, he was a happy man. He was wealthy and healthy, had children and servants etc. Then Satan struck! He lost his children, wealth and was inflicted with destructive disease.
He became sad, his happiness ( his health, wealth, and children) has been taken away from him. If you were in his situation, you wouldn't be happy.
Your happiness depends on two factors; internal and external.

you could be right but remember he had happiness after his suffering much more than his previous life. he created this new life by persevering in his test. even with the leprosy, he still got that faith to worship God. If he had lost his faith and cursed god, will he have the thousands cattle, uncountable farmlands and the riches he got? think about that cos I still believe he created his happiness just that he didn't know

Honestly, happiness is a choice. Or how do we explain someone called 'man of many sorrows' and yet His heart was ful of gladness? Think abt it, this world has more of bad to offer us so, just be happy no matter d condition.

Yes, very true, man is responsible for his happiness. But true happiness can only be found in God. So, I guess you have the choice to experience the real deal or not. Your happiness shouldn't depend on what happens to you or not. When you are in God, the events surrounding you depends on His will and your reponse or odedience to His will. Hence everyday is "the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it."

Many of you are not realistic...u're being too artificial and superficial!

Jesus Christ himself responded to events & circumstances many a time! He wept @Lazarus' death...He grieved @the garden of gethsemane...complaining bitterly of what was yet to be! ...etc.
He even went from ''being sad'' to ''being violent'' @the temple where traders were selling stuff! What more can I say to convince u?

If there is anything I hate most in life is the miserable sight of an unhappy person or unhappy people.
My heart just breaks whenever I see unhappy people.
That is why 75% of my life work is spent on making people happy and preparing to celebrate the International Happiness Day on July 10.

Everybody has a right to happiness.
And I don't like those who make others unhappy.

being happy and fulfilled in life is da lords doing......

you people pay too much mind to 'self-help'/motivational books and stuff. If you're halfway intelligent you'd probably be unhappy often.

We can control our happiness most of the time but not all the time. Everybody has a breaking point. It's only matter time. Imagine yourself being whipped on your bare buttocks from dusk to dawn. I doubt if any self determination can stop you from crying like a baby. But then again, it only matter of time. And effort.

Relates to the saying "you are your problem and you are your solution"

tchaik: "When I was a little child
Happiness was there for a while
Then from me it slipped away
Happiness come back I say
Cos if YOU DON'T COME, I'M GONNA GO LOOKING, FOR HAPPINESS"
BOB MARLEY!!!!!
Omo, no body holds ur happiness, if u no fit make urself happy, then u are totaly PHUCKED!!!!!

Have you ever heard of a disease called' schizophrenia', whose line of attack is the mind; rendering it useless by means of delusions, and voices which limit a man's happiness and joy. If u watched the film 'A Beautiful Mind 'concerning a man called John Nash, you will understand; that happiness has physical, environmental and genetic dimensions which can be difficult; if not outrightly impossible for some people to achieve at a point in time.

caye: Have you ever heard of a disease called' schizophrenia', whose line of attack is the mind; rendering it useless by means of delusions, and voices which limit a man's happiness and joy. If u watched the film 'A Beautiful Mind 'concerning a man called John Nash, you will understand; that happiness has physical, environmental and genetic dimensions which can be difficult; if not outrightly impossible for some people to achieve at a point in time.

Almost Every deformity, disease or infection can be managed. Prof. John Nash (Starring Russel Crowe) was still able to control his schizophrenic disease later in life by learning how to manage those illusions. Stevie wonder has been blind for 62 years but have tried to create his own world for himself and not allow society to dictate what is happiness. People choose the way they want to live their life within the confine of the constraints of nature.

Nipeks: Imagine yourself being whipped on your bare buttocks from dusk to dawn. I doubt if any self determination can stop you from crying like a baby.

Please tell 'em.

2good:

Almost Every deformity, disease or infection can be managed. Prof. John Nash (Starring Russel Crowe) was still able to control his schizophrenic disease later in life by learning how to manage those illusions. Stevie wonder has been blind for 62 years but have tried to create his own world for himself and not allow society to dictate what is happiness. People choose the way they want to live their life within the confine of the constraints of nature.

In essence you are advocating conscious delusion(creating one's own world) as a means to being happy all the time? That's madness na.

2good:

Almost Every deformity, disease can be managed.

except when you don't have the right information, inspiration and environment(never mind the selfhelp gurus). John Nash was lucky because he came from a society almost devoid of they mythical. Imagine if it were to be Africa: the numbers of Pastors that would prophesy that you had a demon, the traditional healers who would see a curse on you, the rejection by your family since you're 'weird' and poverty plus it's cousin, starvation, since the mentally stable are still jobless themselves(don't forget :John Nash still had a job after the crisis and a loving wife), if that happened to you ,HAPPINESS MAY BE IMPOSSIBLE.

BoboYekini:
In essence you are advocating conscious delusion(creating one's own world) as a means to being happy all the time? That's madness na.

Not conscious delusion. The society brainwash everybody from birth as to what is happiness and what is sadness and we all try to live within the definition and expectation of the society which however, have been set by people before us. Most of us live a life based on some program written by the society and feel unfulfilled when we deviate from such expectations even when its the best for us.

caye: except when you don't have the right information, inspiration and environment(never mind the selfhelp gurus). John Nash was lucky because he came from a society almost devoid of they mythical. Imagine if it were to be Africa: the numbers of Pastors that would prophesy that you had a demon, the traditional healers who would see a curse on you, the rejection by your family since you're 'weird' and poverty plus it's cousin, starvation, since the mentally stable are still jobless themselves(don't forget :John Nash still had a job after the crisis and a loving wife), if that happened to you ,HAPPINESS MAY BE IMPOSSIBLE.

Now you are raising a special scenario which is the problem with Nigeria. I try not to discuss Nigerian problem these days because I believe that the Nigerian culture and its societal mentality is the main problem and each time I raise this, people call me anti Nigeria. This is a country where people are celebrated for their wealth without its source queried, parent put pressure on children to be successful and over 80% of the population believe the solution to their problem is God as they have been fed from birth. Infact the problems are so infinitely many that nobody can analyse them as there will always be an unresolved loophole somewhere.

[color=#990000][/color] Very true my friend. But don't forget that nairaland is about first and foremost about Nigeria. All other things follow.

caye: [color=#990000][/color] Very true my friend. But don't forget that nairaland is about first and foremost about Nigeria. All other things follow.

I agree with you except that a sane person appears to be insane in a society where majority of the people are insane.

I suspect that the universal goal of mindkind all these centuries has been happiness. When nations go to war; to invade other countries, the end goal is to increase their own happiness; regardless of who gets trodden down, sex is all about happiness, even a terrorist believes that ULTIMATELY he or she would have happiness IN A HEAVENLY BROTHEL after killing or being killed. Everything about humans is to achieve that ultimate goal:HAPPINESS.

caye: I suspect that the universal goal of mindkind all these centuries has been happiness. When nations go to war; to invade other countries, the end goal is to increase their own happiness; regardless of who gets trodden down, sex is all about happiness, even a terrorist believes that ULTIMATELY he or she would have happiness IN A HEAVENLY BROTHEL after killing or being killed. Everything about humans is to achieve that ultimate goal:HAPPINESS.

You are so on pint except that people think happiness have a universal definition and refuse to accept the fact that what makes them happy might not make others happy, hence they use their authority to impose their believes and ideology on others.

2good:

You are so on pint except that people think happiness have a universal definition and refuse to accept the fact that what makes them happy might not make others happy, hence they use their authority to impose their believes and ideology on others.

But happiness must have some minimum foundation; Dale Carnegie talked about : having the basics of existence (food, clothing, shelter), good relationship with the outside world, sex, laughter and a reasonable religion. Let me throw a challenge to you: when can you say a man is happy?

caye: But happiness must have some minimum foundation; Dale Carnegie talked about : having the basics of existence (food, clothing, shelter), good relationship with the outside world, sex, laughter and a reasonable religion. Let me throw a challenge to you: when can you say a man is happy?

I can say when I'm happy and not another man because that will result to stereotyping. Basic law of economics states that human want is insatiable. I remember when I was doing my BSc, I saw earning 100k naira salary as a mega salary. But after earning a reasonable multiple of that figure over time, I ask myself what I really need to be satisfy. Everybody have different problem, goals and aspiration depending on their current status. Most EU citizens are not so bothered about saving for retirement because they have good social security, good pension program and on a worst case scenario you'll stay in a government house when you're old. But in Africa and most Asian countries, you are on your own and that sole reason makes people not to work for just today but also the future when their body starts to fail them and they have no where to go for help.
Your current state determines your reasoning and expectations from life.

2good:

I can say when I'm happy and not another man because that will result to stereotyping. Basic law of economics states that human want is insatiable. I remember when I was doing my BSc, I saw earning 100k naira salary as a mega salary. But after earning a reasonable multiple of that figure over time, I ask myself what I really need to be satisfy. Everybody have different problem, goals and aspiration depending on their current status. Most EU citizens are not so bothered about saving for retirement because they have good social security, good pension program and on a worst case scenario you'll stay in a government house when you're old. But in Africa and most Asian countries, you are on your own and that sole reason makes people not to work for just today but also the future when their body starts to fail them and they have no where to go for help.
Your current state determines your reasoning and expectations from life.

In other words, you are saying that the physical condition of a man may IN CERTAIN SITUATIONS determine his level of happiness? Love that. Hope you talk to the hyper-ventilated self help gurus who believe that they can't be unhappy regardless of what happens to them, which sometimes i'm tempted to believe myself. Only that if one experiences what Nigerian religious and economic refugees experience, one may go totally insane from despair and depression.

caye: In other words, you are saying that the physical condition of a man may IN CERTAIN SITUATIONS determine his level of happiness? Love that. Hope you talk to the hyper-ventilated self help gurus who believe that they can't be unhappy regardless of what happens to them, which sometimes i'm tempted to believe myself. Only that if one experiences what Nigerian religious and economic refugees experience, one may go totally insane from despair and depression.

If the method used by these self help gurus to find happiness works well for them, then its good for them. We are all unique and should learn now not to make what have been set before us to be our absolute standard in life.

2good:

If happiness works well for these self help guru's then its fine for them. We are all unique and should learn now not to make what have been set before us to be our absolute standard in life.

Word. Love our intellectual discourse devoid of the usual infantile ramblings of some 'landers *too much gammar*. Hope you have a nice day.

caye: Word. Love our intellectual discourse devoid of the usual infantile ramblings of some 'landers *too much gammar*. Hope you have a nice day.

I also enjoyed exchanging ideas with you. Do have a nice day too.

biker-boy:
Wat if U 're involved in a natural disaster, dat inflicts pain on U. Automatically, your happiness is stolen away.

So wat do U make out of it?

It is of two things..u either allow d situation to sadden ur mood or u choose 2b happi irrespective of your state.. It is only d dead that can't make a choice