Simple, Talk with your wife and address your worries...Marriage is about love, trust and understanding.

27naira: Niqqa.. when the cold wind of the sea blows, and the orange sun descends into the ocean blue... truss me, nothing is as romantic as watching the gas flare lit up the cold night and the beautiful silhouette of a pretty lady falters with the dancing flame... i don't know what "i" will do oh

My thing just rise as you conclude this poem!Oya mama ngozi

op i dont know what to say to u.... had it been your wife is ugly i mean very ugly ..i would have said she is safe there.. so op carry ur cross

If she gets there u better 4get about her. That place is very tempting

snthesis:
but then isnt it foolishness putting her into temptation

Exactly d point.. Lonely + A.C chilling + Men = HO.RNY/bleeping... No offense but even Pastor Adeboye dsnt allow a woman come into his office alone.

I, by the moment, deemed exigent, to enlighten the CEO of Nairaland, his co-moderators, and the poster and others concerned, to be lexical, when using the word 'advice'. 'Advice' is a noun, not a verb. The correct verb in play is 'advise'. By this, it's wrong to say 'please advice him', rather 'please advise him' is right. Also wrong to say 'i'll give him my piece of advise', rather 'i'll give him my piece of advice' is correct. Advice has its stress on the first syllable-/Ad/, while advise has its stress on the second syllable-/Vise/. This has been hitherto abysmally used frequently, especially on the front page...a perceptive disrepute on the intelligence of the forum. Thanks.

horny4u: Your wife married her own personal enemy.....
If she were your sister or daughter will you let her go...
Women should look before they leap.....Know something she will secretly resent you for not letting her go and will eventually leave you
Because that which we fear most always comes upon us.

You donot hold her destiny in your hand HUSBAND... if she will cheat it does not take offshore
Why not get a better job yourself so that you can feel like a man instead of career blocking your wife you claim to love.
You want to use your low self esteem to spoil her blessing.....You really need to evaluate o.....all that you have is your soul and you cannot NEVER possess another...
Befriend yourself and encourage her....married women who go for masters abroad nko...there hubbys are dummys abi

You truly are your wife's curse.....she should be mumuing about and not run from you o

You ought to lead but you tied your manly role to your bank account and you are fumbling.

Interesting. When two people marry, their destinies become one and they need to discuss issues. This man has done nothing wrong, he is only considering things. First of all money and career are not everything. I have worked in very lucrative industries with wealthy people who have turned out very unhappy. Money is not happiness neither can it buy happiness.

Those saying people that will cheat will always cheat are missing the point. The bible says "flee all appearances of evil" and "lead us not into temptation". Its like saying if my wife will cheat she will always cheat so it is ok to let her sleep on the same bed with another man for one month. Please open your eyes. People that dont cheat watch their ways and steps so that they do find themselves in compromising situations. They dont go out looking for temptation believing they cannot cheat.

The biggest problem in Nigeria is poverty so people will take jobs that will eventually destroy them and their families just because the job pays more. If you have ever had money or moved with rich people, you will understand that money and career achievement are not everything. There is more to life than these.

OP, think of the long term, you both can get other jobs that can even pay more. You dont need to expose your wife to 20 men on a rig every three weeks for eternity. You will have missed the very essence of marriage. You will want to start a family, raise kids, that job is just not right. The will be the subject of all the discussions on the rig and guys will find ways of getting closer to her. Not saying she is a bad woman, its just the things she may go through.

Never trust women I tell you, they are bloody liars thats all they are good at. Deceiving lying pieces of
I hate women!

I am wondering why she asked for your opinion on this in the first place........... Is it so you can say No and look like the bad guy or is it so you can say yes and she can say you gave her permission?? If she values her home; has she thought of the lady that will be keeping you warm in this terribly cold weather ? or she just wants to do her thing? I am a woman and there are some things i wont even venture to ask my hubby... I trust my Alaye he will just throw your question back at you and say 'what exactly do you want to do' Na gboin be dat o.....the idle hand is the devil's workshop.

This is a tricky one here.
Just as I wont listen to my wife telling me NOT to pursue my career all because of her insecurity, I shouldn't do the same to her. In fact, when my wife excels, its a plus to me because I also helped actualize her dreams. And since we are one, her success becomes my success too. So, its a good thing if my family is progressing as long as I'm not doing badly myself, thank God.

But then;
what if she married you when she wasn't completely exposed yet to her beauty, quality and worth? What if even as you speak now, she's already thinking she could have had a better bargain (in husband). If she gets offshore, she might find those men she'd always dreamed of as a girl. And trust me, money, intelligence, attention, punctuality and consistent pestering wont be lacking on the facility at all. What else does a woman want?
Come to think of it; she now earns more than you. You might be in trouble bro. Studies have shown that 75% of infidelity in married woman happens with their colleagues or exes. And in your own case, she spends 75% of her time with them while you enjoy only 25% with her. May God help you oooo

Try and picture out what is important to your family the most. Is it more money; then let her have the job. Is it raising family and bonding; then let her continue with her old job while you help her get somewhere new and better. If having kids is important now; carry belle give am sharp sharp. But just know that if she doesn't take up this dream job, you'd be highly indebted to her for the rest of your life and you'd have to keep making up for it.

Trust me, whether she goes or stays doesn't stop her infidelity, but if she stays, the risk is lesser and the temptation is lesser. Don't listen to funny advices about you being insecure or selfish. It is your wife, your family and your life. Your happiness belongs to only you. Do what is right for you and your family. After all, you know your family better than us all.

In d early days when i was still an oil worker, offshore was so much fun. Our past time was booze and sex. Married men and married women used to help themselves. na then u go knw saysome expatriates are sex addicts and alcoholics.
It's not their fault o. D environment is just right for drinking and promiscuity. Imagine being isolated and having time on ur hands.
The men far outnumbered d women and d few women had so many men chasing dem. Even the wowo chics had lot's of partners how much more the fine ones.
Anyway, some women were different sha but most did not last long offshore as the big boys ensured they got transfered out for not playing ball. Bottom line is DO NOT SEND UR WOMAN there.

horny4u: Your wife married her own personal enemy.....
If she were your sister or daughter will you let her go...
Women should look before they leap.....Know something she will secretly resent you for not letting her go and will eventually leave you

#thatisall

dasparrow:

The perils of marrying a Nigerian bred male

If you don't trust your wife, why on earth did you marry her? correct me if I am wrong but should'nt the foundation of marraige be based on TRUST? And then you wonder why the rate of divorce continues to climb in Nigeria. It seems like many of you just rush into marraige not knowing what the institution is really all about.

I seriously don't know why the women bother. . . . .

denzel2009: Even if she works on land 24-7, she would cheat on you if she wants to and you'd massage her back when she comes back!

But u don't have to put a lady in the path of temptation.

Pennywise: @OP
If she stays long enuff on the rig, only one third of the kids will be yours. The real challenge will be knowing which.

GBAM!

Op, as u can see from replies of offshore workers, they are all against it, that means they can't let their own wife take that kind of job. What is the use of the money she brings home when u don't have peace of mind. She can build a better career in a government hospital. I also know of a family friend(guy) that resigned from his 65k pounds per annum job in shlumberger UK so as to focus more on building his family. Money is not everything in life.

in this day and age?
i think you are scare of her achievement, it is psychology.

you have already lay down a foundation full of trouble with your current assumptions.
if i were her, knowing your fear, i will not take the job offer because henceforth, it's gonna be trouble and suspicion.
now make sure you meet that lady's need. go get a job with same offer you are making her leave.

If you let her take the job, automatically you are demoted to the position of an on-shore husband. You become a bonus considering that you get to have her only a third of the time. The real husband is off shore. And if that 1/3 falls within her monthly cycle, tough luck for that month. Wait for the next.

I see some girls saying they will gladly take the job and the husband shouldnt refuse. Come to think of it, they can be paid all that money for "giving what they will normally give for free". They surely cant see what is wrong with that.

Poster, everyone that has ever worked on a rig has told you not to allow it. Truth is that you may be choosing between money and your marriage. You are both young and can still make alot of money together but please, dont push your wife into harm's way!

For all the ladies asking the wife to go offshore, I just feel tempted to ask for your CVs and give you all a job with either Geoservices or a Schlumberger or some oil servicing coy that will leave u offshore. After your experience and if you can be truthful to yourselves, I can bet you will not repeat your earlier statements.

smh

1. ask urself, can u stay 3weeks all by urself without cheating? (mk she no blame u if something happen)
2. Does ur wife trust u enough, dat u will not to cheat 4 3week while ur home alone?(abi d woman feel say u no get swag or u be wood)
3. how much do u trust ur wife? (even Jesus was tempted 3 times)
4. if ur wife was onshore don't u think she will be on night shift sometimes?(Doctors left, Engineers right wahala dey 4 u ooo)
in short weigh ur options put it into prayer and deside.
Personally woman dat put their careers ahead of their marriage usually end up wit a lot of difficulties.(women are the back bone of any marriage/family without the backbone the head/body is will fall apart)

i know married women who work offshore. the key is trust and integrity!
if you trust her and she has integrity, then let her go.

with this said, don't let the reason for stopping her be the risk of loosing her to another man, cos if that's it, then you realy weren't married at all.

give her the confidence to resign anytime she feels much pressure.

THAT SAID, THREE WEEKS OFFSHORE AND ONE WEEK BREAK IS VERY BAD OF A COMPANY. THIS IS THE REASON WHY SHE SHOULDN'T GO!

snthesis:

u ar just a dumbass- bet u aint even married, wu wud want to stick to an ediot like you- mtchewwwww

do u even knw d definition of a wife?

What is the definition of a wife??

A property!!!

I have advised you....nothing else can fill that emptiness you feel but you alone.
By the way : do you break out in sweats having a nightmare that one Alhaji will take your wife.
I donot care for you abusing me but if you save that energy and take some professionals courses or some way to increase your chances of earning more since you have lazily tied your manhood to your wallet.
You already feel less a man when you are with her....and you think thats affected by external forces or Alhaji's money ....NOPE! It stems from a deep down feeling of knowing you are lazily not meeting your potential.
Know one thing birds of same feathers is no joke if your partner be it husband or wife is moving up you berra be climbing too because very soon she will be talking politics and you be talking tomatoes.

I will further advise you , more than money a woman wants a man who is looking out for her best interest not his selfish ways ....
If you do not swing up in IQ, self e.steem, self l.ove fast you will have label husband but no substance to it ...and you will be able to do nothing about it. ( notice i did not say money)

The best way to sort this out is to take self esteem classes at the risk of repeating my self you are not God and you donot own her.
While your destinies are connected you are first individuals bring good quality to a union right now she weighs more than you not because of a salary but because your self esteem is minus 10.

Now abuse me !

trust who u married, am sure she knows better. . . Let her work

just added to my vocab- H.U.E.T- Helicopter Underwater Escape Training, she just got certified today, wow u need to see the smile on her face, shes so excited- i smiled with her, but really, im afraid to tell her not to go

snthesis: just added to my vocab- H.U.E.T- Helicopter Underwater Escape Training, she just got certified today, wow u need to see the smile on her face, shes so excited- i smiled with her, but really, im afraid to tell her not to go

Awwww to be honest ...I do feel for you and it natural for you to miss her but you must trust her.
This is NL though you know your wife better than all of us, If she is the type that sleeps around then please keep her away from the job

Marriage is all about trust and growing together....if you do not successfully jump this ordeal it will keep repeating itself
If you love something let it go if it comes back it is truly yours and you gain peace of mind.

By the way ...Is your birth sign scorpio?

horny4u:

Awwww to be honest ...I do feel for you and it natural for you to miss her but you must trust her.
This is NL though you know your wife better than all of us, If she is the type that sleeps around then please keep her away from the job

Marriage is all about trust and growing together....if you do not successfully jump this ordeal it will keep repeating itself
If you love something let it go if it comes back it is truly yours and you gain peace of mind.

By the way ...Is your birth sign scorpio?

thanks
i dont have a scorpion mark, but i have other birth marks though- y do u ask?- did u hav a revelation for me

[size=18pt]what is her name? hope to be offshore at the same time she would be around.will Bleep her like u never will.[/size]

charles316: [size=18pt]what is her name? hope to be offshore at the same time she would be around.will Bleep her like u never will.[/size]

for your mind, there's only one offshore location shey

snthesis:
thanks
i dont have a scorpion mark, but i have other birth marks though- y do u ask?- did u hav a revelation for me

LOL
Like horoscope ...never mind ..
Your revelation is shown to you by your Creator ...and thats not me.....am just an ordinary human being how can I see revelation for another when am not an internet scammer

Buy the book "the secret"
Regards to your Madam.

The money is not worth the risk. Imagine if u were the one - a handsome man going to work where hot babes are all over you, 3 of 4 weeks in a month.
Only a fool sees fire and puts his hand inside it.

horny4u:

LOL
Like horoscope ...never mind ..
Your revelation is shown to you by your Creator ...and thats not me.....am just an ordinary human being how can I see revelation for another when am not an internet scammer

Buy the book "the secret"
Regards to your Madam.

horoscope- is it like a telescope? why is it horoscope- does it imply black magic to look into sum1 future?

HUET or no HUET, I have told you, do not allow your wife step that offshore location or else just kiss her goodbye I tell you o.... It's like you're deliberately putting her into temptations that she'll not be able to resist. BE WARNED!!!

snthesis: just added to my vocab- H.U.E.T- Helicopter Underwater Escape Training, she just got certified today, wow u need to see the smile on her face, shes so excited- i smiled with her, but really, im afraid to tell her not to go

your wife doesnt deserve you. . . . . a bright vibrant woman with dreams and ambitions being hampered with insecurities from her troll husband.. . . . . .she could have done sooo much better.

maybe she will realise and leave you for a hot engineer.

Maybe it is just me, but i will not want to leave my family and work somewhere else, i can't work where i will not be able to see my peeps....a day..

Majority of the times, it is not about money..family comes first, career second.

@Poster, i don't know what to tell you ooo, if i say you should let her go and try the work out for 3 months then leave it, what if she is enojoying it too much to leave? then it becomes a problem between the both of you...

If you ask her not to go, it will seem as if you are selfish....Just ask her what she wants to do.